Chapter 58 Digging up dirt.
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Devilman by Platina Jazz

POV Valentine

I take a moment to appreciate the superior abilities of the spirit form. It took me some time to actually come to this otherwise obvious conclusion, but I'm here right now and I focus like my very existence depends on it.

"Yumi: Don't miss the timing! Your enemies definitely won't! They are killing machines, designed to operate as such! You won't have the leisure of an even and solid footing out on the field! A mistake of one second could send your brain matter splattering on the ground!"

If I had a physical body at this moment, I would be salivating and using my hands to wipe away each bead of sweat on their bodies. All in order to better see a clear picture that I'm recording in my mind from every conceivable angle.

Each spark igniting a flow, each bend causing change to the fluidity of motion. I drink in their figures, their beautiful forms, from up close and afar simultaneously. I zoom in, seeing as another flurry of activity is about to begin.

"Lesser ability boost." "Lesser strength." "Stone wall." "Under divine banner."

I've stopped caring about my self-imposed time limit long ago, purely focused on the task before me for as long as it will last. I devour the sight with all of my processing power set to overdrive. Not a single strand is allowed to be missed, nothing less than the perfect image will be accepted.

My spirit form may not have emotions, but it sure as hell can appreciate the data collected. I have half a mind to start touching the subjects of my observation, so great is the temptation! Logic prevailed in the end and I only observe, for now.

'How foolish I was for not doing this sooner. This raw material is so rich in flavour! Oh! It's dying down. He~HE~ he~. Come my lovely data points, show me all of your secrets.'

"Yumi: Finish them off! Mass Greater strength! Mass Divine wrath!"

'Ah! What passion! Burn brighter for me to see it all!'

I tune out the useless battle cry and other matters of the flesh, focusing 200% of my attention once more on the flow of mana within each individual. With my attention split into so many fragments, I estimate that another long dive will be required to sort out all of the collected data and devise a blueprint to replicate the effects. Following that, it will be only a matter of controlling my meat puppet to properly follow those instructions.

'Mental degradation has reached early stages at..78 minute mark. Good, two more minutes to check that the data is secured and I'm done for today. Soo much to do, soo little time.'

After numerous failed attempts to cook up food that would turn me into Superman, I've turned to the age old tested practice of imitating nature. In my case the "nature" is all of the buff skills that the girls use freely during training. All I have to do is map out the ignition point that stimulates the internal mana into producing the desired effects. Going a step further, I convert their minutes long active buffs into hours long passive food buffs...in theory.

'The lesser versions should have an 80% success rate, but the advanced buffs are looking at around only 15% until I get more practice in. A few weeks and I'll get it up to 50%, then it will be just a matter of diligently following the outlined procedure.'

Feeling satisfied with myself, I drift into normal sleep in a good mood. Things are finally looking up for me.

羽生まゐご「オノマトペ」feat.りりあ。

POV Risa

Things aren't looking that good for me. I was expecting worthy opponents to fight, but instead I've got a face full of swamp water and mud. Another lesson of "cute things are deadly" is learned the hard way, as a fricking gummy bear exploded right under my foot! Thankfully my mana skin had dampened the damage I took from the explosion.

Spoiler

3089. Bluebeary Muffin by Piper Thibodeau

3089. Bluebeary Muffin by Piper Thibodeau

Retrieved from https://www.artstation.com/artwork/ykYNn9

[collapse]

"Risa: I hate cute things in this dungeon. Can we please just run to the centre of this floor so that I can stop feeling sorry for myself?"

"Mari: I understand where you're coming from, unfortunately we all know why it's not going to happen."

"Tai: Those strange seals are mostly harmless AND cute! Too bad that they all give only two points of mana."

Spoiler

Bulb-Crowned Gribble - LRF 21 by Pencil Equipped

Bulb-Crowned Gribble - LRF 21 by Pencil Equipped

Bulb-Crowned Gribble - LRF 21 by Pencil Equipped

Retrieved from https://www.artstation.com/artwork/X1dYN3

[collapse]

"Hana: I think that all these are basically the slimes of this floor. Everything else must be using them as snacks."

"Risa: They still tried to bite us, which is much better than these exploding bears."

The damn explosions send filth flying in all directions for at least a hundred meters, covering from head to toe everyone who hasn't taken cover behind a tree or another person. Needless to say, our clothes won't be seeing a second use.

"Juliana: Sshh! Hostiles inbound!"

"Mari: There are lighter footfalls masked by the heavy ones, probably a pincer maneuver. Hana, Tai break off to intercept!"

A little spark of envy ignites within me upon seeing our most mobile members move over such horrible terrain with overwhelming ease. I on the other hand, can't move as freely as I want with my feet sinking halfway into this mud. Instead, I take centre position and wait for the enemies to charge towards their own death.

'Brutes at the front and agile support from the sides. It would have been a hassle to keep those things from sneaking in a hit if I were alone. I bet that those weapons are smeared with poison too.'

Spoiler

Concept Art: Monsters of Muck by Landon Ellis

Concept Art: Monsters of Muck by Landon Ellis

Retrieved from https://www.artstation.com/artwork/wJJVDO

[collapse]

The three meters tall frog monsters run towards us leaving behind splashes instead of sinking into the muck. Their webbed feet propel them forward as if running on solid ground. The short, lean and jumping counterparts look more deadly in my eyes. Anything so brightly coloured must have lethal poison as their natural weapon.

`POP!! POP!! TWACK!

Though, they have made the fatal mistake of charging us without taking cover. That decision is giving our ranged attackers free rein over the battlefield, picking off the rapidly approaching hoppers with ease.

"Anna: Anyone notice anything amiss?"

"Risa: They have weapons, but those maws look more intimidating in comparison. They definitely have lunging and bitting moves."

Time is up. The charging monsters tense their legs and catapult themselves, covering the last five meters is a second! As expected, they look ready to bite off a chunk out of us.

I need to shift my position by a whole meter to the side in a fraction of a second to dodge the flying thing. Very reluctantly, I lower my center of gravity and pass below it while dipping half of my body into the mud below.

`Thud.

I couldn't leave such an inconsiderate opponent without any payback, so the exposed limbs that passed over me were promptly detached by my blade.

`FLOP!

There was, but a moment to shut my eyes and mouth, as something dragged my foot backwards and I face planted onto the mud.

'FUCK! Frogs have long tongues!'

Without taking the time to wipe my face to regain sight, I swing down my blade just in front of my legs and felt the pulling force disappear. Not taking any chances, I wipe away the filth and open one eye to manifest mana blades precisely under the downed monster, piercing through it under its own weight.

Surveying the situation revealed that everyone took care of things with relative ease. The fact that we all look like pigs fresh out of a dirt pit was left unsaid by anyone.

"Mari: Well... I guess that these are the low tier monsters of this floor. Around the same strength as the pineapple variants on the previous one?"

"Anna: If you remove the advantages that the environment gives them, then I'd say that these things are a bit weaker."

"Meiko: Shall we move deeper or explore this area here?"

"Mari: Let me check the map... ...we are at 1.3 km from the entrance. There is room for moving forward, but I'd rather not chance an encounter with the mid tier monsters when our team isn't at full strength."

'We are moving at a snails' pace in these conditions! Barely 1.5 km in half an hour!'

"Yes, I believe that we are far enough to fill in another section of the map. Another three to four hours to make a loop back out."

'I will throw Kate into the dirtiest puddle I find for missing out on this lovely expedition.'

.. .

Today was complete torture or a mud bath therapy for those that are into something so unique.

`Snif, Snif...

"Valentine: Ri.."

"Risa: Not a word or I'll use you as a living mud shield on our next delve."

I was fairly certain that the hour long bathing session got rid of everything, but apparently I was mistaken. My sense of smell had forsaken me after the first mud bomb went off and hasn't returned until now.

"Valentine: You look very tense today, mistress. Please, allow this lowly servant to apply his massage skills to relieve your stress!"

Just like in Mitsuko's stories, upon offending a lady the man results to grovelling and begging. It did get a smile out of me, so it's not useless.

"Yeah, I've got that setup left in a corner of the game room because the storage unit was getting overfilled. The new dish is waiting in the oven for the next hour anyway. Take it as a little thanks for the ...frog meat, that I'll be asking you to taste test."

'I know that it's a Fresh cuisine and all, but I'm not looking forward to eating frogs.'

"Risa: You did actually try eating it yourself, right?"

The response is delivered with a great deal of internal doubts and uncertainty.

"Valentine: ...It tasted like chicken when fried. I thought that it was a myth made up by the French, until I cooked it myself and it really tasted like chicken. A great contributing factor is that it came in the form of big chunks instead of those tiny, finger sized, frog portions."

'That's a good point. I would have mistaken it for something else if I haven't seen the monsters myself.'

"Eri: Have a good rest mistress Risa."

We walk downstairs and out of earshot when I ask what's on my mind.

"Risa: Are you using me as a pretence to run away?"

"Valentine: Nooope~, just taking a break from cooking and being a nice person."

"Risa: You are running away."

"Valentine: Of course I am! You try being around that one for five hours a day every day! I got used to working alone and that spectre spooked the soul out of me when I got absorbed in my thoughts, completely forgetting about her. It's also a constant pressure to have someone breathing down your neck to learn you craft, made worse by the fact that I have little to no idea how to explain the mana workings in cooking. It's simply an instinctual skill assistance added to gut feeling and multiplied by trial and error. She just wanted to master everything in a week!"

"Risa: Everyone that chose to follow the less destructive paths is having a hard time. Hell, I don't understand how our own technology works and there are full libraries of information available to draw upon. This magic business is basically us running in the dark and swinging sticks at random."

"Valentine: I'd rather swing a stick than try to develop a whole new branch of technology from the ground up. Haa... Go get comfortable, I'll run down to get the box with massage oils. I'll knock on the door before entering, so no accidental decapitation if you don't mind."

'I wouldn't aim for the neck even if I acted on reflex.'

"Risa: Yeah, no worries, not like there's much to look at anyway."

"Valentine: Eh, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Also, I'm biased because that damn gorilla has sent me through a wall not so long ago."

It would have been better to only voice the first part aloud, but I've decided to take the compliment regardless and get on with the preparations. There were no towels in the game room, so I went to the changing room and got undressed there.

"Risa: Um, I'm somehow getting a massage and then taste tasting the frog dishes an hour later."

The others are mostly done with their bathing, and I give them a heads up on my plans. I haven't made any other arrangements with anyone for today, but it's best to check if anyone needs anything from me.

"Hana: Massage or not, I'm not putting any of that meat on my plate. No thanks."

"Anna: Frog meat is actually not that bad. I imagine that it's more of a cultural thing than any other reason. I'm more grossed out by eating insects than anything else, so I'm skipping anything of that sort in the future."

"Mari: Anyone wanting to have a taste can just stay behind after finishing our meal. I'd actually like to try a new dish."

Done changing, I take a couple of towels with me and sit down on the table.

`Knock, knock.

"Risa: I'm decent and unarmed!"

"Valentine: Let's be honest here, adding that you are unarmed is the same as saying that a bomb is safe because it's unarmed. ... You can stay seated. I'll just start from the feet and move up, otherwise we'll be done in 15 minutes and I'll need to go back to "teaching" my skills to the eager maid."

"Risa: No luck on that front?"

"Valentine: She's got the normal stuff up to a decent level, but trying to add mana into the mix just has zero effects. I personally visualize it all like a big puzzle. First you solidify an image in your head, then you modify the ingredients to fit into that image, finally you put everything together. Her skills are more geared towards cutting for the purpose of cutting, when what's required is imbuing your own mana through the cut into the ingredients to mould them. The last step is also a mess because she has no idea what the pieces look like, or how to hold the picture together."

"Risa: Sounds too complicated to be used in battle. I just sent out bursts of mana with the intent to cut or pierce. The simpler the better and the rest is covered by the instinctive skill assistance."

.. .

It's nice to have a chat once in a while and complain about life. I spend too much time with the others to talk about anything new, as we all see and do practically the same things. The accompanying massage is a nice addition and once I get him to adjust the strength just by the right amount... It's very satisfying.

"Valentine: You sure that it's fine? I get the feeling that I'm pressing too hard."

"Risa: All's well. Add a bit more mana into those hand movements."

"Valentine: ...This is not how my cooking skills are supposed to be used. It's a technique for kneading dough and not for giving massages."

"Risa: It works and feels good, so crank up the intensity a bit and do my legs after you're done with the back."

"Valentine: ...Me and my big mouth."

The pulsing mana gets all the way down to the deep tissues and is gently rubbing all the right spots. I have to fight back a moan every now and then, as my body is more than ready to turn into a puddle.

'I think that I'll keep quiet about this technique from the others, mmmm! Yes, no need to increase the chances of someone doing something stupid and ruining this for everyone. Once Eri learns how to work with mana, she can do this for the others.'

With my body improving after each level, the normal things become lacking. I need to double the weights during training, sparring partners have completely disappeared, lectures can be listened to with one ear, exams became more about flipping through the right notes beforehand.

Life is more existing than ever before, and boring at the same time.

'They had the right idea of building a new company around this place as a cover. I can't imagine myself doing nothing but the normal things anymore. Even becoming the world's best swordswoman is pointless without having a challenge to overcome.'

"Risa: Sooo... any plans for the Christmas week?"

"Valentine: It's fine to drop the conversation if you want to, I never understood why the barbers always insist on having a small-talk with their clients. Not everyone is an outgoing person."

"Risa: It's fine, I try to work on my lacking communication skills. Hard to do that when people are keeping their distance from you."

It got worse after a few incidents and now the majority of the students and teachers don't even come close unless necessary. Scaring the shit out of everyone got old very fast, but I never interacted with many people anyway so I'm not bothered by it.

"Valentine: What? Did you show up to class with a katana, ready to fight monsters? ...YOU DID! Didn't you!?"

"Risa: Only twice! I overslept! My brain was still half dreaming and I was moving on reflex! Just answer the damn question!"

Good thing that I'm face down and my blushing goes unnoticed. I don't like being reminded about that particular episode of having to explain myself before the headmistress.

"Valentine: Fine. ...Well, hmmm, I mean... I don't have anyone to spend the time with, so it's just another day for me. I'll make some food and watch a few movies I guess."

'Fuck. That was the stupidest question to ask him. It would have been less awkward to ask if he wanted a specific present or just a trinket! Come on, change the subject!'

"Risa: How about going to the Shikinokaori Rose Garden? It's just by the Hikarigaoka park, putting it at around 5 km from here. They do a seasonal event by decorating Christmas trees with ligh up figurines of animals and anime characters. It's one of the very few interesting things to do in Nerima city, usually people take a train to participate in the big event held nearby..."

'Right, point out the things that he can't do, just rub it in and sprinkle some salt while you are at it!'

"Indeed! You'll accompany me to the garden as thanks for having me taste test the frog dishes!"

'Stop talking! You've done enough damage already! Just stop!'

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