"JOIN US" - Caleb Hyles, @annapantsu & @Alex Moukala Music

POV Valentine

I marvel at how little serious damage I've actually sustained in that shit show. Sure, I've cut off half of my own leg after jamming it into the monster's mouth for support, but other than that I only needed a day of slowly applying potions for a full fix. The leg will take an additional week to safely regrow without straining my soul too much.

The more annoying elements came after my initial recovery. I have honestly forgotten how normal people should react to such injuries and how much I dislike needless fussing.

"Valentine: For the love of cheesecake! Can you just not do any of that?! I've been half eaten alive by a plant with LESS drama! It's a God damned flesh wound and not the end of the world!"

My little student got too emotional upon seeing me one-legged and went for a rapid-fire barrage of panicking, questioning, running around and getting on my nerves with her acting like a mother hen. Reassuring her that I'll regrow the missing limb like a lizard takes some time. Calming her down and starting today's lesson requires even more effort.

'How is there such a wide gap between their reactions? Those cold-hearted women barely raise an eyebrow compared to this one freaking out over a paper cut!'

Most of my annoyance actually stems from the reduced mobility I'll have to suffer through until I'm back in order. The fields need daily upkeep, my practice will suffer and it's plainly inconvenient! Even with fast travel between units being active all the time, I still need to walk to the door and then to my destination from the other door.

'Someone else will have to do the field work, but I'll have to supervise if I don't want to clean up whatever mess they leave behind.'

We work slower than usual and all those glances are irritating me more than they did during the last two weeks. I'm really in no mood to dance around the issue any longer, so I wait for a good moment to take a break and finally pry it out of her. My face fixed to a fed up expression.

"Kei: I don't think that it's a good time...haa...I wanted to ask... if you could... bestow..."

The girl is fidgeting like she wants to confess her undying love for me, but I can see where this is going if I think back to her childish beliefs.

"Valentine: I don't believe in the divine."

'There are only bored assholes that scam innocent people for their own amusement!'

"Kei: ...your own blessing?"

'Ha! I can actually bestow a physical boost for a few hours! It actually qualifies!'

Also... I also have a little bit of stored experience gathered from my portal tax. I have no doubt that it will function as intended. The whole thing had been extensively analysed for many nights, and I have complete trust in my own judgement. However... It was never tested.

'Nope, no... That's definitely child abuse or something worse. I know that it must be safe because it's fundamentally a function of the HQ, but... is it really though? What about the mental side of things?'

"Valentine: ...I'll think about it."

If I look at it from a different perspective, it could be used to safely level up weak noncombatants, that in turn can create support items which help the fighters to survive and earn more exp. I would just need to take my small handling fee from both sides and reap the benefits of a self-sustaining process.

'Why didn't I think about this before? Oh... right. I'm a selfish asshole and those women aren't exactly good people that I'd go out of my way to help. Besides, they can safely power level the others all the way to lv 3, so that approach is mostly useless.'

Ending the break, I go about things on autopilot while weighing my options. There's a whole week of extra free time for me to go over this new line of thinking in detail. First, I'll need to see if I can add a fake function to the next system upgrade. Second, I'll need to find a way to make it work without a hitch.

Once it's operational, I'll have the best bait available. There is nothing more interesting for them than to run tests, so I'll be getting a decent cut one way or another. All of that will come later, for now I've got to make dinner for us.

"Valentine: I'm in the mood for some chips today. The ones sold in stores are not deserving to be called chips, so I'll be teaching you how to properly make the best ones."

.. .

In the evening, once I'm comfortable in bed, I open up last year's notice and painfully look over the numbers.

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

End of Month Notice. December.

Passive: 100 EP

+ 1 point per repeat visitor = 27 EP,

+ 2 points per repeat adventurer = 46 EP,

+ 3 points per supporter = 27 EP.

-- -- -- -- --

Totals: 232 EP; 127k MP.

Personal: 16k MP; 114 exp.

HQ system upgrade -900 EP.

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

"I need my restaurant pulling in twenty times the visitors. Heck! A thousand EP a month should have been the norm! Not this pitiful number!"

'I'm not even gaining much in terms of personal assets and the stored exp is...'

"How much is 1 exp worth exactly anyway? I did set the tax cards randomly each time between 2-5% and the new girls pretty much got to lv 2 by using them all the time. Sooo...40% of getting to lv 2?"

If I consider how exponentially more and more time each level up required, then this is literally a drop in the bucket for me. It is uselessly sitting there when it could be put to better use in a little test...

"Argh! Fuck. Now I'm thinking about it again. Haa... should have asked why and for whom she wants the damn level up. Naive little thing doesn't seem selfish enough to demand power for herself like the rest of them. Yes, I'll ask her about it tomorrow. For now, I have work do do."

Getting ready for bed, I go into spirit mode and work on designing a fake function. The physical aspect of it must look sufficiently different from the portal cards, else it will look suspicious. I must put something together to make it undoubtedly legitimate under any scrutiny.

'A reconfiguration of the mana batteries should produce the desired effects and will be thought as nothing more than an upgrade to an existing function. An extensive work will have to be carried out for me to replicate this inbuilt HQ function into a completely different format.'

This will take a while and due to the time constraints on my spirit form, it can take over a month to get the best possible version running. Practical testing will be required to produce a comprehensive set of data after the first prototype is complete. This must function as reliably as any real HQ function when it's put into use.

'Morality is inefficient. Only results speak for themselves and this mutually beneficial request should be granted and fully utilised in my endeavour.'

Nails & Kneecaps - Jonathan Young & @annapantsu

POV Eri

I'm being whipped for something that isn't my fault. The high and mighty bitch wants the impossible to be handed to her on a silver platter.

"Kate: ANY good news this week? You are long overdue on your simple assignment."

"Eri: We both know that the assignment was anything BUT simple... mistress Kate. I'm hitting the proverbial wall with my best efforts, but it doesn't bulge. I suspect that he has some special sensory organs or something of the sort."

'Or I have talent in another area, you insufferable brat! Hitting things until they die is a fucking hundred times easier than figuring out this shit! I've talked with the other girls. I know that they have even less luck than I do!'

"Kate: So, no positive results after a month of effort. Maybe it's a question of compatibility after all? `Sigh~ failure was always a possibility, but I'm disappointed nonetheless. Any additional reports on his actions?"

I almost roll my eyes at that question. She has most definitely read my reports and knows the answer.

"Eri: Do you want me to make something up, or just truthfully say that I've only seen him either work in the kitchen or relax around the HQ?"

"Kate: Tch! Nothing at all? He should have slipped up somewhere by now! Mentioned something compromising or done something unusual?"

"Eri: Nothing that you don't know already. Just the routine of training, working and relaxing. That much is usually enough for people to build their life around."

I can feel her condescending tone on my skin as she launches into a retort.

"Kate: A boring life. There's an unknown number of planets we could explore and exploit! With enough time and effort, I could have whole countries lining up to kiss my feet for breadcrumbs! I wouldn't be surprised if there are planets with either magical or technological knowledge that have found ways to surpass mortality! Haaa~...and you talk about being satisfied with working in a little kitchen. Well, to each their own I guess. I still want you to keep trying to get a feel for the magical cooking thing until the end of this month. After that, if you have no progress whatsoever, find something that you can exceed at by yourself."

'I exceed at putting up with your shit. It's worthy of being a superpower even without magic.'

"Eri: Understood mistress. Is there anything else?"

My reports are detailed and boring enough to need no more elaborating. Freed to do my own thing for the evening I go back to the HQ to earn some extra points. Being a helpful and caring person in time of need should get me some benefits down the line for little to no cost. In addition to that, I can freely complain about my life.

.. .

"Eri: She has the gall to chew me out! Me! As if I don't put in the work and slack off!"

"Valentine: Typical. The little employee is always at fault for underperforming. Hehe~ want to see something interesting? The quality is rather shit, but I recorded how they got their asses handed to them. Unfortunately, I've managed to get only the second quarter of the whole thing because it happened too suddenly and I had to jump in and valiantly save the day."

'Oh? Now that is already a little benefit right there. I haven't seen anything beyond the five islands floor.'

I watch the short, shaking and taken from a bad angle, video clip of a brutal beat down. It's much more different from what I've expected and experienced so far. The monsters aren't the same clumsy puppets, but fullfledged killing machines. I narrow my eyes and pause the video at critical points. Once again, I have waves of cold sweat run down my back.

'FUCK. How the hell did they not die from behind stabbed, crushed and cut by those things? There's a fucking hand barely holding on after taking a hit, then being glued back the next moment!'

So far I haven't seen anything challenging in the dungeon. Just some stupid monster that you could hit a few times and get the juicy rewards for free. My own safety was relatively guaranteed throughout each delve. This little video, on the other hand, is solid confirmation that there are actually dangerous opponents that know how to fight back.

'If the dangers are increasing to these levels, then the slow approach is much safer. Yes, my initial plan was correct. Slow progress over two years will suffice to get me safely to level 4 and I'll have saved up enough money to buy my own little cosplay cafe.'

Not knowing what lay ahead, I was thinking of speeding up my own progress through the dungeon. Seeing the actual challenge awaiting down the road has put a damper on that excitement for the moment and has given me food for thought.

"Eri: Threading a path is difficult and dangerous."

"Valentine: They aren't old age warriors that live and die by the sword. They never trained to fight opponents that can use weapons so well and their brute force approach wasn't enough to steamroll everything like it usually is. I doubt that there will be another attempt to go deeper, not without a year of proper combat training."

'Hmm...a year sounds about right. At least two years, if I include the other matters that eat up a lot of time. Hm~hm~ that fits perfectly into my plans for an easy life. I'll just do some work around here, while they are slowly growing stronger, and retire before they attempt to lunge headfirst into danger. Delving the safe floors during my free time won't pose a problem either.'

"Eri: Hey, chef. Can you teach me something other than cooking? I've been given green light to look for my own magical talent from the boss."

I just need to have enough worth to keep my position secured and not get fired before I'm ready retire on my own. There are a number of things that I've considered, but a free advice is appreciated as long as it's made in earnest.

"Valentine: Oh? The message has finally gone through? Well... Your internal mana control is very good, it's only the external control that is below mediocre. How about... learning cantrips? Little spells that rely solely on your own mana and are useful in daily life and possibly for some combat support?"

'Jack of all trades, master of none? Hmm... Having magic happen with a wave of my hand doesn't sound too bad and it would be more useful to me than being able to cause mass destruction.'

Learning how to explode things will definitely land me in more danger compared to being able to magic up a cup of water. It definitely would be interesting enough to help me keep this job going throughout the years and a fun little thing to make use of later on in life.

"Also, Risa asked that I teach you how to give special massages. It's basically the dough kneading technique, but without the need to structure foreign mana into desired configurations. I'm pretty sure that you'll get a feel for it after a short demonstration. ...Can't exactly give you the full course right now."

I glance at the missing limb and silently agree that it would be difficult to do right now. At the same time, it's heartening to have at least someone who easily acknowledges my superb abilities instead of being a pain in the ass.

"Eri: I'd love to learn, and I can see why a female masseur would be a welcome addition. Not everyone is comfortable with a man fondling their naked bodies."

I put on my best teasing grin and sound immensely scandalised at the mere though of that situation. It gets a good chuckle in response, and we agree to work on it during the next week. For this lovely evening, we crack open a bottle of homemade wine and I set the table with an assortment of snacks.

"Eri: Cranberry wine?"

"Valentine: Yup, just the right season for it."

I tastes good, so I can't complain even though I personally prefer grape wine. Not suffering any of the repercussions in the morning is another bonus I very much appreciate. 

'It's good to kick back and let loose.'

When The Sun Loves The Moon || Original Song by Reinaeiry

POV Mari

"Hana: ...We were both at fault. It just seemed so... simple... and it would have taken me seconds to cross. I ... I just wanted to help and didn't think things through."

"Mari: ...Me as well. I focused on the enemies ahead and ignored my duties. I'm sorry."

"Hana: You did save me by talking Val into coming with us."

I can only show a small smile at that, while my stomach is aggressively flipping over and bubbling in turmoil. Even after being given first aid, she was still in a badly mangled state that haunts my consciousness.

"Mari: ...Do you want to talk to a psychiatrist about it?"

I breach the main topic and focus on her reaction. Hana noticeably flinched at both the mention of mental healthcare and remembering her struggle. The minute shaking is not lost on me either. She closes her eyes and takes a long moment to compose herself.

"Hana: I don't feel like talking to a stranger about it. Can the two of us talk instead?"

I agree immediately, despite the fact that I've dealt with my own episode by largely ignoring that it had happened. If opening up about our respective pain can help, then I'm more than willing to do so.

... .. .

"A.K: Daughter, you leave us no choice but to put you... on a leash."

"Chiyo: I was saying that from the beginning! Better yet, I should tie our legs together so that she doesn't go gallivanting off to some crocodile infested swamp! Seriously! Why did you think that it was a good idea?!"

I can complain neither about Juliana reporting this, nor getting blamed for what had happened. I don't even know if the danger was worth it, or we came out empty handed. All I can do is face the fallout without making excuses.

"A.K: `Sigh. I've been running around... ragged. I'm sorry... for neglecting you."

It hurts more to see my family blame themselves for my mistakes than being reprimanded. I squash the little treacherous voice in the back of my mind that whispers of shifting blame and instead acknowledge my wrongdoings.

"Chiyo: Sis, you aren't to do anything dangerous until the end of the academic year. I'm taking the exams to skip my last year of high school and enrolling this April to supervise you."

'What?'

"Mari: What?"

"A.K: It has already been decided. If you do not value your own safety, then we will bind it... to ours."

My stomach drops just from thinking about Chiyo facing monsters hellbent on doing her harm. Monsters that I'm too weak to stop. Environments that can become suddenly deadly on their own. Magical phenomenon that I have no way of foreseeing. Hostile aliens that we can't fathom.

"Mari: You can't do this! It's too dangerous!"

Just a single second, after the words leave my mouth, is enough for me to realise how hypocritical I must sound right now.

"Chiyo: Indeed, it is, and I'm going to be by your side at all times, so now you'll have to think twice as hard before going on a dangerous adventure."

'This is worse than a leash! It's like being put under house arrest! Anything remotely dangerous will have to be scrapped or done without me. Once the last semester is over, our current group will completely fall apart...'

There is no denying the inevitable. We will have to reorganize and spend time to specialise in our roles. Fresh recruits will likely be added, the restaurant side project will be launched and I dread how much the administrative complexity will skyrocket.

"Mari: I understand... ."

'Hopefully the magic healing can deal with stress related ailments.'