Citizen Soldier - Hallelujah (I'm Not Dead)

POV Valentine

I may have overestimated my abilities by a small percentage, that is, by about the same amount as the pain that I'm feeling right now. Really, who would have thought that sparing with a person would be that much more different from fighting a dungeon monster? I sure as hell thought that I could easily keep up and get some much needed practice.

`TWACK! "Valentine: Ssshhhii bi..."

I've lost the hold on my partial spirit form as a faster than calculated bokken hits my face instead of harmlessly passing by and giving me an opening to exploit. The ringing that follows is deafening, and I miserably fail to salvage the situation. Nevertheless, shit like this can easily happen once I'm prancing around worlds filled with sexy ladies, so I stubbornly roll with the punches, by literally rolling on the floor. Pushing down my desire to regain stable footing due to my head spinning, I dump extra mana into my knives for a strong enough attack that should force the opponent to retreat and buy me a second or two of respite.

'I need some fucking hotkey healing...'

At this point, I would have been totally fucked in a real fight, but my sparring partner took pity on my sorry ass and didn't finish me off. I take this chance to regain my bearings and receive a wet towel, soaked in a low-grade potion, thrown over my aching head. It calms down my splitting headache in a matter of seconds. Once I'm back on my feet, the lucky hit is promptly followed by criticism.

"Risa: That was stupid."

"Valentine: Only because it didn't work. It would have been my win otherwise."

"Risa: I have better reflexes so it was inevitable, therefore, it was a stupid gamble."

'My body can't keep up with the boosted processing ability for split second corrections, otherwise it should have worked as planned. Fuck. I've become complacent fighting bots that charge ahead like brainless brutes. I must maximize my survivability and make better use of the available resources.'

I start to fully understand why batman has so many pouches on his belt. Us weaklings need to cheat just in order to survive when facing these superhumans. Fortunately, I have something that he didn't have. Crude but real magic. It just needs some work and old-fashioned human cunning.

"Valentine: I'm fine to go for another round. Hehe~ Let's see how you handle my special move!"

Empty bravado never has let me down... or was it the other way around? Too much head trauma has made things too fuzzy, so I'm not exactly sure. What I do know, is that being looked down on with pity sure as hell pisses me off, so I set my goal to scoring a decisive blow this time around.

""GO!""

'Bait. Strike upwards 57%, abort. Secondary strike downwards 73%. Adjust the angle, soft parry. Turn. Diversion, knee strike, success. Commit attack 100%. Hit.'

She may be strong and quick, but there is only so much that can be done about an attack coming from a blind spot. So, I've overwhelmed her senses with a series of strikes from all sides and had forced her brain to anticipate a major move. When in reality, I've lightly brought down my knife to her neck when she had lost focus.

"Valentine: That was stupid. I'm much weaker, so my unarmed hit could have been safely ignored by you. A knife to the neck is much more dangerous that a weak kick to the stomach."

"Risa: Tch, I've reacted on reflex. Fine, this round is yours. I'm not falling for it next time."

I can exploit my opponent's weakness, but it requires sufficient data to be collected. Fighting an opponent for the first time will always be an uphill struggle, unless I have the freedom to take a backseat and observe at leisure.

The more we spar, the more confident I become in our daily training and soon enough we get the necessary support for the dangerous training session.

... .. .

POV Mari

'Why is everyone dead set on increasing my workload? Why does it always come down to this?'

My list of things to do keeps expanding, and I've been forced to cut corners and focus on mostly the things happening at the academy. Admittedly, my workload didn't exactly get lighter by all that much. I rub my temples and look back on the comprehensive plan for a "training" delve. It even has all the outlined participants marked as ready to go upon my signoff.

"Haaa....I want a vacation. Maybe I should call in sick for a day or two? I'm sure that there will be at least one person among the student body failing a subject somewhere and we will be called upon by the teachers to hunt them down. ...Yeah, I need a break before that happens."

I can't personally be everywhere all at once and I trust the others to not mindlessly agree to face danger. If everyone wants to do it, then so be it, they can go and hunt those things for training purposes, as long as appropriate safety guidelines are followed!

... .. .

POV Risa

We've got everything settled within two weeks, and I can't say that I would have been upset if we had to train for a bit longer. It's fun to challenge one another to do better, even with his reliance on dirty and dishonourable tactics. What chef would result to poisoning food just to gain an advantage in a spar?! Absolutely despicable and underhanded!

"Yumi: Do I really not need to pummel one of them? Even without a fancy enchantment I can deal with one of them too."

"Valentine: Save it for when we are getting our asses handed to us. Preferably BEFORE any serious damage pummels us nine feet under."

"Yumi: I know, I know. No distractions. Keeping a vigil eye on you two at all times. Rushing in if things get messy."

"Valentine: Ok, I trust you to get us out with a quick response, so don't go AWOL. Besides! We've got this! Like two fingers against asphalt!"

Everyone doesn't seem to understand what he meant to say. The anticipated cheers are replaced with confused looks, and the moment is lost.

"Risa: Your translator is struggling with idioms."

"Tai: We are heading out to finish this before the morning meal?"

"Valentine: ...It's already past lunch?"

"Risa: Yup, my point exactly. But anyway, we've got this covered! Just stand back and watch as we surpass this challenge!"

"""OH!!"""

Ignoring the complexities of different languages, we complete our final equipment check and leisurely walk to the designated location. The two of us follow behind the rest and let them handle the situation up to the final stage.

"Juliana: Ok, this is my lookout position. Radio me if you need cover fire."

"Tai: I'll start sweeping the area for any uninvited guests."

There shouldn't be any patrols around this spot, but we need to make sure that we aren't interrupted at a crucial moment. Tai circles the area and we are given the go ahead.

"Risa: It's time to rumble!"

Weapons in hand, magic boosts applied, the two of us rush to the exact location of the war hammer warrior. These is only a small window of a few seconds between them laying hidden and all three grouping up. We'll exploit that opportunity to even our playing field.

Twenty meters away I can already see them rising from the ground. As planned, my skill was long since charged, and I slash down with the intent to cut it to ribbons! Following right behind, Valentine is like a hyena that sensed weakness in a strong prey. Two enchanted knives are driven through its weakened armour and... we retreat.

'Hehe~ let's see how you like those failed prototypes~'

As we make it ten meters away, I see in my peripheral vision that they are already grouped up together and turning towards us. We run in a circle for ten seconds before fire suddenly sprouts out from the war hammer wielder and it falls to the ground.

"Yumi: The other two have left the fallen one behind. Run another circle while I confirm the kill."

We speed up a little bit as they aren't slowed down by their damaged member anymore.

"Yup, it's dead. The knives have self-destructed as expected. You can begin kicking their asses in earnest!"

Stopping at the most favourable spot for the battle, I unleash my AOE skill and put our pursuers on the defensive. Val charges again but doesn't commit to a full attack, instead trying to bait the other side to overextend and become exposed. My own skill was skewed towards pinning down the swordman and only scratching the spearman. It doesn't keep a defensive stance for long and goes for offense instead.

I can feel the deadliness of the spear thrusts even while they aren't aimed at me. Sharp, heavy, stable and executed with machine precision. Regardless whether they can easily puncture steel or not, Val is taunting the monster to take a step forward fearlessly. I, on the other hand, continue to unleash a chain of attacks while moving slightly to the side.

"Valentine: Stop. Good angle, ready to crack open their defences."

I'm the sole focus of the swordman, and the spearman is half a step away from breaking their formation to go after Val. Now comes the difficult part. We have them turned almost back to back and I need to perform a strong enough technique to crack the spearman, while dodging the swordman.

"Valentine: 4..3..2..1...Go!"

We burn mana to the extreme! I catapult myself forward, aiming to pass under the swordman's arm even as its sword descends to intercept me with a fatal strike. It doesn't get a chance. A knife inserted itself between the offending arm and myself, diverting the strike just enough for me to pass under it unharmed. And now... I'm faced with the unprotected back of an enemy while fully charged to dish out a heavy hit.

As I unleash the power within me, my feet become completely arrested in the perfect position to exert my maximum strength. It feels like I'm knee deep in liquid concrete and wouldn't be moved from the spot by any force, so long as my body isn't ripped apart. Muscles tense almost by themselves to guide my actions. As I have the advantage of a sneak attack, I commit fully to execute the skill without any minute adjustments. The kanata SINGS jubilantly as it travels through the air, brimming with unstoppable power!

The blade bites deep into its flank, disrupting whatever balance it had and sending it careening downwards practically bisected in two halves. That is more than enough of an opening for Val to pounce and butcher it using fire-enchanted knives.

The moment lasted barely a second before I've exhausted the mana reserved for the strike. Keeping up with the momentum of the turn, I flow into a light parry and grin at the last remaining monster standing.

"Risa: Haaa~ finally it's just you and me. Come! Swordman! Let's have some fun!"

No more distractions! A pure duel of two warriors of the sword! An opponent that will regenerate for as long as I want it to! An advanced sandbag to test ALL of my skills without worrying about holding back!

Truly, a fine whetstone to sharpen my blade.

.. .

"Risa: Haa...fuu...haaa. Mana...low."

"Yumi: Damn finally. Ok! FINISH HIM! FATALITY!"

"Valentine: No, no, you should announce FATALITY after the opponent is mutilated, not before. It also needs to sound more of a growling "Do" note all-around."

The first ten minutes were very liberating. I've used all of my sure-to-kill skills to their full potential. A couple of times I even wondered if it was dead from being cut to pieces, but as long as nothing is preventing it from regenerating, it stands back up as if nothing had happened! The ten minutes after that, I've been more conservative with my mana and focused on pure sword technique. It was a pleasant experience until my physical abilities also started lagging behind the untiring monster.

The current exercise is like fine polish to rough edges. I use the bare minimum of my flagging resources to keep fighting, but I'm running on fumes against an opponent at full strength. In addition, I've already taken some minor damage, and it's a matter of loosing concentration for a second to end up being cut down.

'I know that I look awesome, but fucking get this thing off my ass!'

`RING! Splash!!

Out of nowhere, Yumi appeared at my side and sent my opponent tumbling with a vicious strike.

"Yumi: So? We all agree to go back? No-one wants to go one on one with this fellow?"

"Valentine: Too much aggro, it won't change targets so it's better to end this now."

"Tai: Nah, I won't be able to keep it pinned down and I'm tired from just watching the show."

"Juliana: My socks are wet, and I'm not in the mood to keep a lookout for round two."

The monster's attempt to get to me is foiled again, and it is taken care of once and for all in short order. Now that the tension is gone, I'm dead tired to do anything else. Plopping down to rest has drained my last dregs of willpower!

"Valentine: Heh~ how the mighty have fallen~. And here I was, so full of pure admiration~ that I was thinking of asking for an autograph~!"

I would have cursed the asshole out loud if I wasn't distracted by the stinging sensations of the disinfectant he is applying to my injuries.

'Fuck your medicine! UGH!! AAch! You shitmonkey! You owe me compensation! An hour of massage! No, TWO hours! For rough handling! AAAATAtata!!! When did I get cut down there?!'

The adrenaline might have hidden some grazes, but I'm made to feel every scratch as the liquid mercilessly runs down my clothes. Oh, I make sure to glare him in the eyes to send a message -There will be some painful consequences for this!

I'm completely turned into a slobbering puddle that can't even raise protests. Yumi is sweet enough to gently carry me back without any complaints and even help me out of the muddy clothes. This must have been the single most intense fight of my life and I promptly succumbed to my fatigue sometime during the relaxing bath.

Se lève la Lune - ["Rises the Moon" French cover]

POV Kei

Another busy day at work. It has been becoming more intense as I take on more responsibilities without the usual helping hand. Cooking for twenty people is difficult when I can't just make one big pot for everyone.

"Valentine: It is easy once you get used to your gut feeling reminding you what needs to be done. A checklist is also useful to keep track of what ingredients you have prepped and what needs to be done in advance."

"Kei: They should order in advance to reduce our workload. That way it is easier to serve them faster and we won't have that many leftovers."

"Valentine: Technically, we have zero leftovers. The flock of chickens gobble everything up that I put out in the evening."

'They aren't chickens. Haa... doesn't matter, I'm exhausted today.'

It's not just the actual work, but the people that I'm dealing with, that put more pressure on me. The very... ...strange people. I sometimes doubt that all of them are normal humans, because normal people don't use magic and can't do half of the things that I've seen. They also try to catch me wherever I'm bringing out their orders. Being treated as a doll is time-consuming and it's difficult to get away. I also tend to find little presents in my pockets, in my hair and on my uniform, but no-one admitted to having anything to do with it when I've asked. Chef Valentine refused to get involved, insisting that men have no say in this situation.

"Kei: I'll be going downstairs for a shower."

"Valentine: Go ahead, I'll pack up the usual."

After a quick shower and changing into my daily clothes, I head towards the car waiting to drive me home. Before getting in, I double check that my bag with food containers is properly sealed and doesn't smell. It would make me uncomfortable to make an expensive car smell of food. The ride home is relaxing and I can catch up with my friends while resting.

"Kei: I'm home~."

""Welcome back~""

"Kei: Dinner is still warm, so please set the table."

Leaving the bag in the kitchen to be sorted out, I slip into my home attire and sit down in the living room. It was agreed that I'm not to concern myself with anything cooking related in the evenings after work, so I let them do this little bit of household chores. Though, if I had one complaint, it would be that their tea brewing needs much more improvement.

'Remedial lessons. It's a waste to only get mediocre results when we can easily get it done perfectly with a bit more effort and care.'

Leaving that task aside for another day, we enjoy an unhurried family dinner filled with chatting about the happenings at school and our plans for the weekend. I refrain from eating any dessert today. The combination of taste tasting and being fed by the customers has me worried about overeating sweets.

"Father: Oh, right, right. ... There was this envelope in your bag. A love letter perhaps?"

Confused, I take the proffered envelope and open it to find two items inside. A note and a bright red omamori. Written in the note are only a few sentences: "Do as you see fit. I take NO responsibility for ANY consequences and make NO promises. Instructions: before going to sleep hold the item included in both hands and say - I ACCEPT, after which place the item under your pillow for the night. Notes: single use item, grants minor blessing."

"Kei: No, it's something that I've asked for, some time ago... ."

'Blessing... He agreed... But, the responsibility and possible consequences...'

Anything and everything related to magic is obviously kept secret from the majority of people. It's nothing more than a flight of fancy and a fun type of entertainment in everyone's eyes. However, it is undoubtedly real and has tangible repercussions.

'Without proper connections... Would it do more harm than good? If I don't tell him about anything related to magic, he won't practice and probably won't notice anything amiss too much. Hmmm... just a minor boost to overall physical fitness and better health. That's how most of those ladies had broadly described it.'

My mind was set even before I've asked that question, so I shouldn't be hesitant right now. From my understanding, everything will be fine as long as he doesn't go fighting in any wars. Brother is definitely not soldier material.

'Right. He isn't made for violence, and this should only be enough to fortify his poor physical condition. Fortunately, there is a very suitable occasion to give him this little lucky charm.'

"Kei: The final test results haven't been put out yet, right? Were you aiming to take the overall first place this year?"

"Brother: Yes, most definitely. It looks to be an extremely narrow margin between first and second place. I firmly believe that all the effort that I've put in will be enough to aim for the first place!"

'Driven by competitiveness no doubt. Well, good enough.'

"Father: Oho? Is someone pressuring you to work yourself to the bone?"

"Brother: Ha! I always work hard! It's just that this time it was a little bit more intense and a single point may decide the final standings."

We allow brother to boast about his achievements and how much hard work he has put in during this year. I fully intend to reduce his workload from the part-time jobs he is struggling with.

'Soon, looking at my stable income, it won't make sense for him to overwork for some pocket change.'

I leave the dishwashing for them and do my own preparations for tomorrow. A couple of hours later, it's already time to get pull out the futons. Just before we retire for the night, I make my final decision to use of the item.

"Kei: Brother, I know that you've worked hard enough this year to score at the top, but... The girl that you overtake today will be frustrated and put in double the effort tomorrow. Soon enough it will be a matter of luck for the results to go one way or another. Um... You don't have that much luck on your side, if I were to be honest. You even failed to pull any prizes at that free lottery. Not even a pack of tissues."

"Brother: Ggha! ...I've done it on purpose to help you win a better prize!"

"Kei: Let's bet on it. If you get second place, then you can keep this lucky charm to help you out. If you do get first place, then I'll cook for you your favourite dish. ... Do you accept the challenge?"

It is annoying to get his hands into the right position and I have to hold them in my own, but that shouldn't be an issue.

"Brother: It's not even a challenge. Regardless of my luck, my efforts are sure to make up for it! I ACCEPT your bet, because your cooking is so delicious."

"Kei: Ok, then if you fail, I won't cook your favourite carbonara for half a year."

"Brother: WHAT?! No, no, no, no... Changing the rules after the fact is cheating!"

'He~he~ Got you!'

Suddenly upping the stakes and questioning his confidence while looking sad has made him more agreeable to my little suggestion. He carefully wrapped the omamori and put it under his pillow to get a much needed boost in luck.