Humanity by HalaCG & Cami-Cat

POV Mitsuko

How did I become one of the most sought after people in the academy? Do I just seem to be the most approachable? The weakest link? A little rabbit to be cornered and devoured?

"Tomo: Hold her down! Mitsuko! Traitor! How can you keep everything to yourself? It's not fair!"

"Indeed!" "How cruel!" "It should be our privilege!" "Give us magic too!!"

"Mitsuko: EEek! Please! I'm innocent! I'm not one of them!"

"Tomo: Lies! How can you not share even a fraction of it with your kind?! Aren't we the first club that should be called upon?! Why aren't you helping us, Mitsuko!?"

"Mitsuko: I know nothing! It's true! Nothing at all!"

"Tomo: More lies! Well, if you don't want to talk out of the goodness of your heart, then we are forced to turn to alternative methods... ."

"Let's tickle her!" "Doujinshi her!" "Let loose the tentacle monster!" "Make her the main character for all of our works and spread them around the academy!" "Sacrifice her!"

The most laid back club has turned out to be a wolf in sheep's clothing. Usually, there's hardly any members to be seen, one or two people that are choosing a new manga series before disappearing back to their rooms is the most common scene. Now... Now I'm trapped by heinous monsters that threaten to do unspeakable things to me unless I give them what they want.

"Tomo: We have a whole section of reference materials on how to break pure maidens. I'm sure that we can find something that suits our situation..."

"Mitsuko: No, no, no, no! That is just perverse delusions put on paper! It doesn't work in real life! It's a crime! For God's sake!"

"Tomo: YOU leave us no choice! We have waited patiently, even as more and more were chosen... There are magic items on full display now! WE CAN'T WAIT! The otaku club will not be shunned anymore."

'Of course it will be!!! You lustful demon!! Delusional idiot! OTAKU degenerates!!!!'

They are mad. I can feel their resolve to get a slice of that poisoned cake. Very unfortunately for my well being, that misguided resolve is directed at the wrong target and I don't have the strength to beat some sense back into their heads. There is no escaping my predicament with force, only cunning can get me out of here with my chastity intact.

I roar with nonexistent resolve.

"Mitsuko: FINE!"

One word is enough to put a stop to the chaos. I feel the death grips on me loosening and sanity shinning deep in their eyes filled with malice. Before it's gone again, I quickly continue my plea.

"I will present you as candidates. That is the most that I can do for you. ...On the other hand, I could, of course, mention that some individuals are no good at all."

A sudden shift occurred the moment my words got through to them. Rather than tearing me apart and sacrificing my soul, everyone has put on friendly smiles on their faces. The complete and utter change is chilling me to the core.

"Tomo: Oh my! Dear Mitsuko, why didn't you say so from the start? We must sit down for a discussion first."

Running away will likely end up as a futile attempt and I don't want any more bruises on my body than I already expect to see tomorrow. Without outwardly showing my miserable mood, I sit down with much more confidence than I could possibly feel right now.

"Tomo: We weren't sure what was necessary, so we have prepared both, a CV and a character sheet for each club member. A cover letter that outlines individual and group aspirations is also included. Is there anything else that you need? A soul contract, perhaps?"

'An escape from this madness and for the world to return to normalcy.'

"Mitsuko: That is enough for the time being. More personal and specific details might be asked at a later date on an individual basis."

The crazies believe my bullshit and don't sacrifice me to the dark Gods right there and then. It turned out to be believable enough for me to escape. Once I'm out of the club room, my pace accelerated to a full on sprint for my life.

I ran straight to our office, burning with rage, fright, indignity, shame and a whole spectrum of emotional soup bubbling over.

`Bam! Slam!

"Kate: Mm? Is something the matter? You look like you've just escaped from a herd of deviants."

"Mitsuko: I have! And I blame you! YOU need to deal with them!"

"Kate: Oh, my! How ruthless! I understand, Mitsuko. There won't be a shred of evidence found, and not even an atom of their existence will remain."

The statement was delivered as if it were a matter of fact, and I froze in my tracks. There were no playfulness, no mirth, no mercy, nothing. Cold and calculating eyes of an uncaring being, were all that looked back at me. I could feel it in my knotting gut, that if the situation came down to it, there would be no hesitation, only decisive, uncompromising action.

"Mitsuko: N-nn-no. Ju-just aaapplicants."

"Kate: You can leave the paperwork on the table. We will look into it later. Actually, I've booked you a session at the relaxation hub. Why don't you go and enjoy yourself?"

Too shocked by today's emotional rollercoaster and too exhausted to think about everything that is happening, I leave the damn papers on my way out and shamble to where I was sent to. The distance that is barely a hundred meters felt like a kilometre long walk uphill.

"Eri: My Lady. We've been expecting you. I shall take you to the changing room."

I'm guided inside by a maid. Lively conversations can be heard from everywhere we pass.

'Heh. The aesthetic is completely different, but ironically, I feel like a condemned criminal being led to a little cell to be locked away and forgotten about.'

"Please strip naked."

"Mitsuko: ...What? Why?"

Lost in my head and suddenly ordered to get naked... I've got no clue as to what is going on anymore.

"Eri: ?? You will be profusely sweating inside the sauna. There are clean towels and a yukata inside the basket for your use. We will air out your uniform during your stay here, so please leave all of your clothes in the empty basket."

"Mitsuko: Oh... right, sorry."

I undress with the maid's assistance, though I would have preferred some privacy. It might be my imagination, but it felt like my body was scrutinized under her persistent gaze.

The sauna room is not occupied by anyone, and so, I find my sought after solitude at last. With relief flooding my mind and body, I flop onto the bench. Instantly regretting not laying down the towel on the heated wooden planks and jumping up with a little squeak.

'Even taking a seat is too dangerous today!'

"Eri: Please excuse me."

`PPSsshhhh~

'Hot! Hothothot!'

The unflappable woman just splashed a full ladle of hot liquid on the heated rocks! The hot steam hit my upper body, pressing me down until I was lying flat on my belly.

`SPLASH!

"Mitsuko: `AÀa!! COLD!"

"Eri: Contrast bath. It should help to shock you out of your musings."

`PPSshhhh~

"Please take your time relaxing."

'Demon! Hot!Hot!'

The tormentor retreated right as the heat reached us. I've lost the moment. It's too hot for me to stand up and escape. Crawling away on all fours from here would look too pathetic even for me. There is only one option left. To persevere.

`PPSsshhh~

"Mitsuko: Aaa! No! Who did it?! Stop!"

'Why would anyone need a water dispenser for this?! To melt people? Is that it?'

This new predicament has cleared my mind of everything unnecessary with brute force. Truthfully. A bucket of sweat was the least of what was expelled from my body by the time that the maid had released me.

"Eri: Yes, you are in the perfect condition to be handed over to our masseur. I've called the best available person to take care of you. Hm~ We shouldn't let you cool down too much, so I'll do the warmup procedures."

My respite was short lived. Just enough to hydrate and cool down. Cursing inwardly, I get undressed again and rest my body on a massage table. There, the maid applied a generous amount of oil and started toying with my body.

"Mitsuko: Ticklish! Not my feet!"

"Eri: Oh, but I must. Plenty of problems originate from the feet. Please do not struggle."

"Mitsuko: Ayayya! Sshhha! Uuu! I give! I give up!"

"Valentine: The hell are you doing in here? And more importantly, the hell did you call me for? I'm not joining whatever you have going on in here."

"Eri: Hush now. Firstly, I'm simply doing my duty. Secondly, you are the most skilled person at deep tissue massage and Lady Mitsuko needs to relax after dealing with Mistress Kate."

"Valentine: Haaa... Yeah, I can see where you are coming from. So..."

"Eri: Mitsuko Yokoyama, aboveground student council secretary. I'll leave her in your care."

'Awawa! There were male employees?! I didn't know at all! How could I not know?! Towel! Are my towels in place?!'

"Valentine: Well, umm, yeah. Just relax and give me a shout if you feel acute pain anywhere. Hmmm...you aren't into sports, are you?"

'I'm practically naked and defenceless down here!'

Cold hands got to work, running up and down my whole body. Giving probing squeezes everywhere.

"Mitsuko: No..."

"Valentine: Your muscles are softer to the touch, so I'll need to be more gentle than usual. Lately, I've been giving Risa massages with enough strain to break three layers of sweat. Too tough and densely packed muscles. It makes my job a pain in the ass."

I peek my head out of the hole and finally put the familiar voice to a face.

"Mitsuko: You...are chef Valentine?"

"Valentine: No, I'm the Queen of the British Empire. Her immortal majesty, Queen Mech Elizabeth the second. Don't you see my crown?"

"Mitsuko: Forgive this plebeian your Majesty."

"Valentine: Mm. No need to give a monkey's."

"Mitsuko: `Hau~ MMmm! E~easy there!"

'Kyaaa! I've just moaned! Damn my body! Leaking sounds on its own!'

This traitorous body of mine is reacting to the pleasant stimulus without my permission. His hands don't even press all that hard, but I feel the force transmitting deeper than expected. As if waves rushing out to wash off all of my accumulated fatigue.

"Valentine: Hm~hm~ so, what's your story with Kate? The girl terrorising your life too?"

"Mitsuko: She is! They all are! And Anzu didn't listen! And...!"

And I've spilled the beans about everything... In the same manner as sweat pouring out of me in the sauna, everything that was weighing me down broke free in a torrential outburst. I became soft and pliable under today's pressure, and this broke the floodgates open.

"Valentine: You think too much, no..., you CARE too much for your own good. It will only burden you and nothing more. One sec, I've got one very relatable song for this."

I've No More Fucks To Give

"Mitsuko: Hehe~ha~ha~ What the hell? It's not even music, just someone cursing twice in every sentence!"

"Valentine: And yet, there is a useful lesson among all the obscenities: Don't spread yourself too thin. There is a limit to the number of things that you can take close to heart, because it isn't an infinite void. You need to decide what are the core things most valuable to you, and fight tooth and nail for them. Everything else is for the back burner. If you have the freedom and means, then go for it, if not, then that is that. Don't run yourself ragged to an early grave, IT'S NOT WORTH IT."

There is iron infused in those words. Strong but brittle, unyielding despite leaking regret, an overwhelming desire to spit out a mouthful of blood yet lacking the chance to do so.

"Mitsuko: ... It's not that easy. I try to keep a tight grip on everything by reflex. Everyone always says that I have my head in the clouds when it's actually the opposite. I get into trouble whenever I get distracted and lose focus."

"Valentine: Sounds like the same problem to me. Too many things to keep track of all at once. Even I can't cook twenty dishes by dividing my focus into twenty equal parts at the same time. Some things you can just stuff into an oven and set a timer, while other things need to be constantly watched over. You must have the correct work flowchart, or else the kitchen turns into a hellscape."

'A hellscape, huh... Mm, that sounds exactly where I'm heading to.'

"Heh~ there's that comedy cooking show with the constantly angry chef. Hehe~he~ you'd be wailing like a child just by sitting as part of the live audience! Then he would start shouting at YOU for making too much noise! Ha~ha~ha! And just to rub salt into the wound, you would be dragged out onto the stage and made to cook through your crying and screaming in protest!"

"WHERE'S THE LAMB SAUCE?!"

"Mitsuko: Who dubbed this?! It's so terrible! Poor angry man got made fun of!"

I've let go of all my worries. Under the unrelenting waves of comfort, all of my far-reaching dark thoughts seem distant and unimportant.

'Why do I lose sleep over people that instead of listening and appreciating my concerns, threatened to use my body as a bloody sacrifice?! Let them get burned and learn from experience. Yeah, I need to set my priorities straight, or I won't get anything done at all.'

POV Valentine

"Eri: Good work. I'll see to her needs from here on out."

"Valentine: Don't dump your own work on others, or more importantly, on me. And for fucks sake! DON'T get any naked girls plastered with MY booze. That is just asking for the self-righteous gorilla to bash my head into a bloody pulp without asking questions. ...Was she one of the new girls? I honestly can't remember when I've seen her before."

"Eri: Sorry, I needed something to loosen her up, and I would have made a token attempt to defend you. As for her "affiliation" I'm not so sure myself. Maybe she is a pacifist and doesn't want to get involved?"

'That does sound about right. Huh. I was damn certain that all of them were the "shoot first and ask questions later" type of violent women.'

"Valentine: Tch. Go and take care of that sleeping mess, I'm heading back to the kitchen. Please, keep your hands to yourself."

I can't help but sound resigned. Taking flak for something I didn't do is one of the worst things ever. Multiplied a hundred times by a biased prejudice against anyone with a manhood between their legs.

"Eri: Don't worry, she isn't my type anyway. I'll let her sleep it off for an hour and everything will be fine."

'Translation: I will be skipping work for the next hour. Damnit, I'm getting jealous over here! Where are my subordinates that can do all the work for me?!'

Shrugging and waving her away, I make my way back to work. Negative thoughts stewing in my head.

'It's so infuriating. I slave away day and night, but my progress is barely at a snail's pace! One bottleneck after another. The whole world is fighting to kick me down into the dirt!'

'Why aren't these bloodthirsty maniacs rushing off to fight the next boss monster? I'm soo fricking close to leveling up, but they decided to stall now! One more floor and I'll be raking up my own exp. Not just this useless trickle, but a full on feast of exp points!'

I was initially pleased with their progress and the increased revenue thanks to more people delving. However, they came to a grinding halt. There aren't even talks about pushing in deeper and breezing through the sixth floor. Nothing but safe grinding for months! Almost no-one is training their skills in earnest!

"Fuck. I need a vacation, away from all this endless grind. Haaa... I'm gonna have to "reward" my little apprentice for her selflessness, so that she can handle the kitchen work better and I can leave her in charge with my mind at peace. Hopefully, she gets a junior chef class or a variation of it."

A darn shame. The girl gave away the exp pack and didn't ask for another one. Too young and inexperienced. I had immediately put the blame on their crappy education. Schools never teach what really matters in life, only standardized and fairly useless subjects are focused on. Plus whatever government propaganda they can get away with. The students are wholly unprepared to deal with the shit that life will throw right in their faces, eventually. Like a cowardly sniper, headshoting the unaware.

"If I train up cooks, will their customers count towards my Ep gained? I shooouuld be able to branch out sooner than later, because moving the whole HQ every month is impossible with my meagre mana earnings. Then, yes, then I'll just need more people working under me."

When it becomes possible, I'll be living the dream. Employees will be earning me everything! I'll be free to act as the big boss and hop from world to world for some fun and relaxation whenever I so desire.

"He~he~he. Soon~, very soon. Hmm~ It's actually about time I got my wrecked hairdo back in order, and maybe a set of fancy clothes...no, no, too soon. A quick shave, for now, is enough. Can't go out looking like a scarecrow and the weather is getting too warm to wear a hat all the time."

I'm heavily betting on increasing my monthly Ep gain five fold starting from April. My cooking is unrivalled, when I put in the effort to activate all of my skills, so the students will undoubtedly flock to my restaurant by the hundreds. That will be enough to net me the next upgrade, and half a year later another one. After that, the required points reach five digits and my progress would depend on the new options available to me.

"...I wonder. Is it too much to hope for a direct boost to my personal power? New and better HQ functions are good and all...but can't there be an upgrade for me? For this weak ass of mine?"

The light smell of alcohol has ruined my mood to do any hard work. I'm craving some sour snacks and to kick back for the rest of the day.

'Enough daydreaming. I have to complete my work on recreating the advanced buffs. With a cocktail of them supporting me, I'll be just a step behind the girls in terms of attributes! I could probably go toe to toe without fighting too dirty against most of them, really. Still... the damn gorilla has too many AoE skills for me to get close, and I suck balls at ranged attacks.'

I sometimes lament that there aren't any male students here. A few jackasses would have been enough to figure out how to blow shit up with mana in a week. Then improve the explosions by mixing some dungeon materials together and voila! Homemade dungeon busters, boss killers, floor sweepers, etc. These girls simply don't have the spark for causing wanton explosions.

"The exams are right in front of them, so I could realistically take the week off and go out to explore the city thoroughly. Well, the part of the city that is within my range. Eh, some sightseeing and partying would be nice for a change."

Having reached a compromise with myself, I set a goal to get all the necessary work done during this week. Next week will be reserved for chilling and throwing around some of my hard earned cash.

アイ/乾物ひもの