IC chapter 118

Care

Sona cried and cried in my arms. My chest was soaked from her tears. I fel really sad about it. I don't know how to console her because I'm the cause of her sadness. 

However I didn't stop patting her back. Even though, No words would come out from my mouth I still want to try comforting her through my actions.

Its my only choice. 

I don't know how much time passes, I completely forgot that outside the barrier, Luckily, The women did not even notice we disappeared. They pleasured each other, Lost in their own licentious desires their awareness dulled from their obscene activities.

Now that I think of it. Rei and Fuuka seemed to know about my magic and they did not even look confused when I suddenly activated a barrier. I came into conclusion that my lovely wife not only told them about my past but also my current situation. Is this her way of punishing me? Wifey you gave me such heart-breaking stuff in my plate. I'll visit her later and apologize to her for everything I did that made her angry at me. Sigh~

Well, I can't really redo the situation and I should solve everything on my own. This is my decision in the first place, It was my plan to tell my family about me. So this kind of situation is inevitable and I should deal with it on my own. I should be responsible and be honest with my new family. 

Kana, Sona, Rei, Fuuka, Shina, Shizumi and My Loli mother and many other girls close to me. The thought of these lovely women who were blindly believing I am their cousin, brother, nephew, son and a father. Thinking about it hurts my heart, That's why I resolve myself to face the reality and face them and tell them on who I am. I don't want to trick those who are close to me anymore. I want to change, I want them to accept me. 

That's why the most likely thing should I do right now is to sit in seiza and bow my head on the ground in front of the very sad woman. Whom I call my wife and my elder sister, Chikushodo Sona.

It's clear as day that she was visibly surprised by my own action. 

"What are you doing?" She asked.

"I'm doing seiza.... Sona, I want to apologize for lying and hiding it from you. I should have told you the truth from the start. I know I can't undo the things what I've done that's why I'm apologizing to you..."

Sona who heard my apology cast down her face as she hugged her own body. I saw her shaking. She bit her lips as she tried to hold her tears from pouring.

By now, She should be thinking that her one and only brother is really gone and was replaced by a stranger she didn't know. 

Despite having my face on the ground, With my ability alone. I know what's happening clearly and it did not make me comfortable at all. I don't have time to brag my ability. Because what's happening in front of me made my heart on the verge of breaking, The guilt that I hid starting to surface. I thought I could manage it but I overestimated myself too much. The guilt is too strong that the impact I receive made my heart bleed. My heart felt it was being crushed.

Seeing Sona making such face overwhelm me. I'm really a bad guy for making the woman I love shed tears. I want to punch myself hard. I feel weak all of sudden. 

No, I should harden my resolution. This is my fault and I need to fix it. It may took a long time to reconcile with her but I don't care about that. I just want to tell her everything.

"Sona, You don't need to answer me. Because I know what I've done is very unforgivable... If you don't want me anymore or you don't want to see me anymore... I will try to distance myself to you."

Her eyes wavered as she tightened the grip on her shoulder. She didn't answer me.

My heart suddenly tightened and it was so painful that I want to die. Instead she changed the topic.

"Shina, What about Shina does Shina know about this?" She said hoarsely. It pains me just by hearing how the sound of her lovely voice turn into a husky tone.

I raised my head as I watch her and shake my head.

"No, I still didn't tell about it."

"Can you not tell her?" 

I saw the deep affection inside her eyes. Her motherly instinct acted up. But, I can't do what she want.

Shaking my head. I denied her. Her eyes widened and she ask me.

"W-Why? Why can't you hide it from her?"

"That's because It's my responsibility to tell her what she should know." 

"No, You can't....S-Shina will be sad." She said with a loud voice.

"I know." 

"She's your daughter!" 

"I know"

"Don't you love her!"

"I do"

"Then why? You do realize she will break if she heard about this right?" 

I couldn't answer that question because I know what would be the outcome. However, I need to move forward.

"I know, That is why she should learn the truth early. Because if I drag this up, I don't know when would my conscience hold up. I don't want to hide everything anymore or I might go crazy if I keep things up. That's why I already planned everything.... That is why tomorrow, I decided to tell everyone."

Sona listened, However she was stunned.

"You will tell everyone? are you insane!" She shouted at me with tears in her eyes. "You do know what will happen afterwards right? You will hurt everyone."

"Yes, I know."

Sona looked at me as she was looking at a fool. Well, she may be right. It was a foolish plan. Just as she said, I will hurt everyone. The fact that I can't deny.

....

Sona bit her lips as she frown deeply. She look upwards as she remember the face of her little brother. The pain in her heart is unexplainable. She was hurt by the reveal of the truth. She hope that this was a bad nightmare and she will wake up and find out everything is fine. She wondered if this was a dream but sadly, She knew this was a harsh reality. She wanted to cry for her hearts content and just shut everything down. But when she remember that she is a mother and she have a daughter she held up. She can't leave her daughter and be irresponsible. 

When she heard Shido's(Shin) plan for tomorrow. She can't hep but be dumfounded from what she heard. She was reminded of the real Shido who was foolish and reckless boy. The image of the real Shido and The current Shido seemed to align from her perspective, they're both Idiots.

...

A small chuckle sounded. I look at Sona, she appear to be lost in thought and unconsciously let out an audible chuckle. I wonder what she was thinking.

"Um, What are you thinking about." To meet my curiosity I asked like an idiot. I don't know why asked such foolish question but I can't help myself.

Sona snap out from her thoughts.

"No, nothing."

"Is that so..."

She won't tell me. Ah, I'm sad. If it was her in the past she would probably tell me. The change is too drastic and it's my fault.

Back to square one I guess? Well, This is awkward.

Speaking of awkwardness, I don't know what to do next. Should I tell her we should continue where we left off or We should go separate ways. The first is very unlikely to happen and that made feel sad again. I brought this to myself.. Sigh~

Fortunately, Rei and Fuuka didn't seem to have a problem with me. I wonder why they take these so casually?

"Then I should go out now.... I don't want to back to the bath. Can you tell Rei and Fuuka that I have something to do?" 

"Where are you going?" She asked.

"Well, The truth is I don't feel like going back there." scratching the back of my head.

"I see....."

The awkwardness is killing me. 

"But I didn't answer your apology?" 

"Ah, you don't need to answer it. But If you want to answer now then I can hear you.... But looking as it is, looks like you still don't know what to say right?"

"Y-Yeah Y-You are right." She nodded as she cast her eyes sideways. She didn't know what's gotten into her. She should feel repulsed with the current shido because of the current situation. She was confused why her heart ached when Shido wanted to get away from her.

She couldn't find the right answer. Her mind is not clear. She should think hard about her response. She should know that part of these was her fault, She wanted to seek answers from Shiroe and this is what she got. 

With that said. Shido teleported away. Sona watch Shido disappear, just as he teleported Sona reached out her hand and open her lips but now word would come out. She had many things to say but because of her conflicted emotions she could not let it out.

She release a deep sigh before the barrier around faded as she watch the scene changing from serene bath to a pleasure bath. 

Rei and Fuuka looked at her. Sona walk towards the duo and talked about what shido said. 

Rei and Fuuka listened. They nodded, understanding the situation. However, deep in their eyes Sona can sense they were worried about her wellbeing. So she talked about her conflicted thoughts to them before earning a hug from the duo.

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