Trudging through the muddy snow, ZooLock sighed, glanced around nervously, then whispered: "We are being followed."

"That's preposterous. Who would follow us, your greatness?"

"That pink robed Elf you were talking to back at the glass-blower's pavilion. It's been spying on us for the past hour…."

"Really? Where? I've not seen anyone."

"That's because you aren't taking notice. I can hear it. I can smell it." His many long tentacles tweaked to sniff the air. ZooLock glanced behind. He could no longer see Elf. The purple alien squid slunk further down the dark alley. "It ain't passed yet. It's hanging back, waiting for us to come back out."

"Then why did we come down here? We are trapped in here. This is a dead end, your Lordship. Anyone following us must have ill intent, mustn't he? We'll be murdered! You've killed us! I'll be left to wander the world alone…." Xanoodut wailed desperately.

"Shut up." ZooLock grabbed the green Goblin. The purple tentacled alien flung the little Orcling back against the brick wall. Xanoodut landed in a garbage can.

"You needn't do that," said Quaraun from the terrace above the squid headed Thullid.

"Why are you following us?" ZooLock hissed, twisting several magenta tentacles in every direction.

Quaraun leapt down to the cobblestone ground below.

"I'm not following you."

"No?"

"No, I'm following the Pixie which is hitching a ride in your pack."

"Pixie? Pixie! Blessed thieving Pixies! I hate Faeries." ZooLock's tentacles flailed frantically. He yanked off his backpack and shook out its contents onto the cobblestone. Among other things out tumbled a tiny winged creature.

The Pixie attempted to flee but was snatched up by one of ZooLock's tentacles. The Pixie hung helplessly in ZooLock's grasp. ZooLock held the creature upside down by its ankle. It flapped its wings furiously, trying to escape. He held it up to one of his fishy wall-eyed Pleco eyeballs.

"Why were you in my pack?" ZooLock demanded.

"He was hiding from me," answered Quaraun.

"What do you want with this creature?" ZooLock held the Pixie behind his back. He trusted Elves less than he trusted Faeries.

"That creature stole something from me and I want it back."

The Pixie fluttered wildly, gesturing, begging: ‘Don't give me to the Elf'. Moth dust scattered in the air from its beating wings.

The Goblin pulled himself from the garbage can which ZooLock had tossed him into. He had found a fork for his collection and way, twisting it as he walked back to ZooLock and the Elf.

"Bug's afraid of Elves, Master," the Goblin said.

"I can see that," answered ZooLock.

"Insects are worse than demons," said the Elf to the squid headed demon.

"Who are you, Elf?" ZooLock demanded as he held the Pixie behind his back, out of the pale Elf's reach.

"My name is of no importance to you. Give me the Pixie."

"Why would I do that? I have no proof this Pixie stole anything from anyone."

"Why else was he hiding in your pack?"

"Lots of reasons. Primary one seems to be it has a great fear of you. I sense you will not leave this creature unharmed if I hand it over to you."

"Keep the thief. I have no use for him. I already have his soul. His body will come to me when he dies. Just give me the vial he lifted from my purse."

The Thullid searched the Pixie. It was carrying a small heart-shaped glass vial filled with shimmering green goo. Etched into the glass was a pocket watch with a brass dragon encasing it.

"You have got a weakness for hearts, strange Elf," said the Thullid.

ZooLock looked from the heart-shaped bottle to the giant magenta hearts embroidered on the Elf's bright pink robes. The Thullid tossed the Pixie, and it flew away. ZooLock stared at the little bottle, spinning it back and forth with his tentacles.

"An alchemy potion. What does it do?"

"It is not important, give it back to me."

"If it's not important, then I have no reason to return it. Have I?"

ZooLock pocketed the tiny heart-shaped bottle.

"You really don't want to be doing that," Quaraun warned.

"No?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Do you want to die?"

"Is that a threat?"

"No. Merely stating a fact. You've no clue what is in that bottle. If continue to play with it, you WILL die."

"Ah, and what are you going to do about it?"

"You will give it back to me."

"What if I don't?"

Quaraun seethed menacingly. "Do you know who I am?"

"Do you know who I am?" ZooLock challenged.

"No, tell me. Who are you?"

The little Goblin jumped forward to answer: "This is my lord and master ZooLock the Great."

"Ah," nodded Quaraun. "Now see, I've never heard of you."

"Never heard of ZooLock the Great?" Xanoodut stammered. "How is that possible? Everyone has heard of the Great Zoo. All powerful warriors are afraid of the mighty Zoo King, the innocent defender who fights the stupid Oolong, the…."

"Do you mean Oolong the Stupid?"

"Yes! My master ZooLock…"

"I'm sorry, never heard of him, and I'm not interested in being told the stories about his enslavement of the innocent in goldfish bowls

 

***[WRITE MORE HERE—LOOK UP PHRASE IN BOOMFUZZY***.

 

I simply want my vial back, and I will be on my way. I have places to be, people to kill, liches to make, heads to shrink…."

"Not so fast strange one, you have not yet told us who you are."

"Ah yes, forgive me. Where are my manners? I am Quaraun the Insane, though I'm not insane. I don't like people calling me insane. I cut off the heads of people who call me insane, just as quickly as I cut off the heads of thieves who steal my dragons. Now it's my vial or your head." Quaraun pointed to the shrunken Thullid, whose head already hung on his belt. "I'll take both or either it makes me no difference."

"Quaraun the Insane? You?"

"So you've heard of me? How utterly boring. My vial or your head."

The little albino Moon Elf now held in his hand a ruby encrusted, black obsidian dagger.

"Who hasn't heard tales of you? Your conquests are legendary."

"I would hardly call them conquests. They are mostly people who are trying to kill me because I am in love with a man and dress like a woman. I am just so fast that I kill them first. I have all their heads. And I'll have your head too if you don't return my bottle."

"Oh, but they are. You defeated the mighty Gibedon," ZooLock slithered out.

Quaraun looked down at the dagger. It was the same one he had used to cut off Gibedon's head.

"One wizard is hardly a conquest," Quaraun said, not taking his gaze from the enchanted dagger. "When he had sex, I stabbed him in his bed. No conquest there. Give me my dragon."

"But he was not just any wizard. He was Gibedon the Great. A Necromancer. Vile beasts, the Necromancers…."

"You do realize, of course, that I am a Necromancer?"

"Ah! But of course! But you differ from the rest. You fight for love. Thus the hearts. I should have recognized you by the hearts embroidered on your silks. Is it not what they say of Quaraun the Insane? You are on a noble quest to kill the Lich Lords, for that I commend you."

"Nobel quest? I'm not on a quest."

"You are to defeat the Lich Lords."

"Defeating the Lich Lords? Whoever said I wanted to defeat them? What bull crap idiocy is that? I built them. I'm the Necromancer who controls them."

"But you are hunting them."

"No. One of them escaped. I'm searching for him and trying to get him back."

"You truly do not recognize me, do you?"

"No. I don't want to. I have my freedom now."

"No. Why would you? It has been many a year. Oh my. So long ago, you killed us all, but spared me. I never understood why. You slaughtered us, because you were in love with that beast. The boy who loves horses. You're in love with the Elf Eater of Pepper Valley. You murdered the Di'Jinn to save his life. You poisoned the Moon Elves to vindicate his death. And then you resurrected your lover as a Lich. You truly don't remember me, do you?"

"Should I? You seated me in The Sanctuary for thousands of years. Is it fun to live in a glass bottle? No! I prefer no recollections of you."

"I was your guardian, centuries ago. I have searched for you for so long, my ladyship. I had feared you lost. I am he who implanted you in the Elf."

"What are you talking about?"

"You are no Elf. And you forgot. You are one of us. A Thullid."

"I am no Thullid."

The purple squid man bowed before the pink robed Elf.

"You are our leader."

"Yes. I am aware."

"The Grand High Emperor of the Triple Planets."

"An annoyance seeing how I don't even know where The Triple Planets are."

"Our Lady Herself: The Scared Pink JellyFish."

"I am NOT your ladyship."

"It's why you wear pink."

"I wear pink because I'm a Di'Jinn."

"The Elf always wore blue until you ate his brain and killed him."

"I am not dead."

"Yes. I understand. Something went wrong. Instead of taking over his body and you became him. You never developed a Thullid head."

"I don't need an octopus head. I have a beautiful face."

"You should have tentacles like me."

"I don't want tentacles like you. I want my dragon back. I'll kill you if you don't hurry up and give her to me."

"He never killed. He was gentle. But he was sick. Seriously ill. He was dead long ago. This is why I chose him as the host. He would soon be dead. The Elves would not care if we took his body and put our Queen in it, so you might have a body again."

"Shut up and give me, my dragon."

"There is nothing you can ask, that I will not do. I risked life and tentacle to keep you alive when the enemies attacked our temple. You were injured. We feared you dying. I am so sorry. We were forced to implant you in the body of this Elf. We had to save your life."

"I want my dragon."

"Oh Holy Pink JellyFish, your wish is my command."

ZooLock handed the vial back to its owner.