Quaraun stared at the Phooka sitting before him and recognized the bits of brick a brack in the Phooka’s hair as Cloutie Magic immediately. That marked the Phooka as a magic user, a wizard of some sort.

A Necromancer.

BoomFuzzy.

BoomFuzzy’s hair.

King Gwallmaiic.

The Elf Eater of Pepper Valley.

The same bones.

The same braids.

Strips of grey and purple wool, woven into the braids to make them bigger, thicker, wilder.

The thing which startled Quaraun, though he refused to admit it, was not the presence of the Phooka, but rather the Phooka’s eyes. Those strange haunting pupilless black eyes which Quaraun knew so well.

The little black pony from the desert of the Di’Jinn.

My unicorn.

BoomFuzzy.

Quaraun had seen the pony dozens of times throughout his lifetime. The evil Unicorn had followed him for centuries. Several times Quaraun had tried to catch it, but it always ran away. Timid, skittish, the little black Unicorn had liked to run up behind the Elf, then run away laughing hysterically.

In his childhood, Quaraun had grown to think of the Unicorn as his friend.

Then one day, the Unicorn came to play, no more.

Weeks passed and Quaraun had feared the Unicorn dead.

After several months, one day while running errands for the Di’Jinn, Quaraun found himself in a desert marketplace, passing a tent, in which he had heard the mournful cries of a horse being beaten. Inside the tent, he had found his little black Unicorn, crippled and maimed. His horn sawed off, his legs broken, shackled in Faerie Iron, and blood pouring from his gasping mouth.

To capture a Phooka was a difficult task, but this band of Chaos Demons, the Ghoul’s men, had set a trap, a virgin locked in a cage made of Faerie Iron, and once they got the pony inside, he was powerless to break free. The evil Unicorn had been tortured and was close to death.

A Unicorn’s power lay in its horn. Without his horn, the horse was unable to morph, unable to fight, unable to cast illusions. Quaraun had wasted no time in rescuing the injured pony and setting it free, back out into the desert of the Di’Jinn, but from that day forth, the pony never stopped following him. Every day the pony now stayed outside the temple of the Di’Jinn and waited for the little Elfling to come out and play.

The Thullid, did not understand the Elf’s need for companionship. They did not understand, the friendship between the young Elf boy and his horse. And one day, when he went to meet his pony by the river, Quaraun found the Di’Jinn waiting.

The ponies fled in terror but few escaped the wrath of the Di’Jinn and the black Unicorn watched in terror as the Thullids slaughtered his Phookan army.

The young Elf stood over the dead ponies in tears.

With the herd of ponies dead, the Thullids turned upon the little black Unicorn, that led the herd, but didn’t live long enough to kill him.

“You’ll not kill my Unicorn!”

They were the last words the Thullids heard.

The Unicorn watched as every last Di’Jinn withered away and died in horrific agony, their body’s bursting into flames, and reduced to ash, under the wrath of their beloved pink Jellyfish living in the body of a very lonely Moon Elf. The Thullids had underestimated the powers of the Jelly-brained Elf, as much as they had underestimated his love for the little black Unicorn.

All life in the desert was gone, save a small Elf wearing pink Thullid silks and a tiny black Unicorn, no bigger than a goat. The dazed and confused Elf turned around and walked out of the desert, and walked clear across the planet, making his way back home to the Moon Elf village of the Deep North, while the Phooka gathered up what little remained of his army and trailed along behind.

BoomFuzzy.

BoomFuzzy was my unicorn.

My little black unicorn, returned to me.

I’ve found you again.

No matter what form, Gwallmaiic took, two things about him never changed: his massive wave of frizzy dreadlocks filled with Cloutie ribbons and his gleaming, almond shaped black eyes. Regardless of any other racial features, white skin, black skin, tan skin, brown skin, red skin, yellow skin, gold skin, BoomFuzzy’s eyes made him look Asian.

As a Moon Elf, BoomFuzzy had resembled more of a Half-Elf, appeared to be half Chinese Human. Mongolian, BoomFuzzy had called it. He had lived in Mongolia for many years, long before Quaraun was born. Quaraun had always found BoomFuzzy’s eyes hypnotic.

Quaraun’s stunned response to this creature, was the fact that, while it looked nothing like BoomFuzzy, at the same time, it looked everything like BoomFuzzy, had BoomFuzzy’s eyes and BoomFuzzy’s passion for dreadlocks filled with random items.

BoomFuzzy’s black demonic eyes had no whites and no iris, and were like staring into two black bottomless pits. He could have passed for a Moon Elf if not for his eyes, his piranha-like fangs, and the huge, fearsomely, sharp eagle talons which tipped each finger. He was otherwise no different from any other albino white Moon Elf, except that instead of smooth straight silver hair, his white hair had grown in massive clouds of frizz that he kept dreaded with bones and grey and purple wool.

This Phooka, looked so much like BoomFuzzy, except, he looked like a dark skinned Human with black dread locks instead of a white skinned Moon Elf with white dreadlocks. His black eyes had no whites and no iris, and were like staring into two black bottomless pits.

The Phooka could have passed for Human if not for his eyes, his piranha-like fangs, and the huge, fearsomely, sharp eagle talons which tipped each finger. He was dressed head to toe in a miss-matched patchwork of mostly black and dark brown furs, mostly skins in their natural forms with heads and legs still attached.

Quaraun shock himself and stepped back, blinking, looking around.

No.

No. I’ve lost my unicorn. This is not him.

This is a Phooka.

Phookas can see into your mind.

Read your thoughts.

They know what you think.

They know what you feel.

They give you whatever you want.

Let you see whatever you want to see.

No.

This wasn’t real.

It couldn’t be.

It can’t be.

It mustn’t be.

Quaraun could not trust his eyes.

He could not trust what he saw.

This was a powerful Phooka.

The gingerbread.

Quaraun turned back to the gingerbread house.

It isn’t real.

It can’t be real.

The castle. The black forest.

He couldn’t see them any more.

The gingerbread house had taken full form in his mind.

He could no longer see past the illusion.

BoomFuzzy.

BoomFuzzy. What have you done?

Faerie magic.

What was real? What was not?

He did not know.

He could not tell.

Quaraun was always so sure of everything.

He was Fae Sighted. He could see through a Faerie’s spell.

Now he was not.

A Phooka had clouded his mind.

A powerful Phooka.

A lich.

A Necromancer.

King Gwallmaiic.

The Elf Eater of Pepper Valley.

Quaraun felt faint.

Dizzy. And faint.

The world around him spun out of control.

There was no doubt in Quaraun’s mind that this was a shape shifting Trickster Fae.

He was caught in a trap.

Caught in a Faerie’s spell.

The gingerbread.

It was the gingerbread house.

He had to get away from it.

Faerie magic all around.

Faerie food.

Faerie drugs.

Must focus.

Must break free.

Quaraun pushed the creature off of him and backed away again.

“Apricot?”

The Phooka in Elf disguise handed Quaraun an apricot.

“I hate Faeries,” Quaraun whispered under his breath.

“Who said anyt’ing aboot Faeries?” The tiny Elf-glimmered Faerie asked.

“You are a Faerie.”

Quaraun took the fruit without thinking and took a bite out of it.

“No one else is be t’inking so.”

“No one else is Faerie sighted and able to see through Faerie glimmer spells.”

Quaraun turned back to the house and tried to see what the others saw. When he finally saw it, he did have to admit he was intrigued by the gingerbread house. Illusion or not it was quite a spectacular feat to have built it.

“That is an amazing house.”

“Yis a beautiful Elf.”

BoomFuzzy ran his fingers through Quaraun’s hair, stopping to rest on the ear that was still healing from the rings having been torn from it.

“That must have hurt.”

“It did.”

“What happened?”

“A Phooka bit me.”

“What a fucking shame.”

“What do you do when it rains? A gingerbread house isn’t gonna hold out water.”

“A moment ago ya did no sees me wee gingerbread shoppie.”

The Faerie moved closer to Quaraun again, this time running his fingers down the Elf’s face.

“Most Elves like candy. Ye like apricots.”

BoomFuzzy handed Quaraun another apricot.

“Does ya ever gets much rain up here in de Deep North?”

“Sometimes. Not very often. Snow will be a bigger problem. Snow is heavy, it’ll collapse the roof.”

“We does t’oughts ya saids me house was no real?”

“I did.”

“Sos does it not be reasonable to t’ink rain and snow will no boders it, eh?”

“You talk strange.”

“Does We does? Apricot?”

The Faerie handed him a third apricot. Quaraun took that as well.

“You do. You talk very strange. What are you?”

“Moment gone passed ya saids We does be Faerie. Ya svá mentioned Phookas and eating ye father. Ya Gnome says We does be a Elf. We is BoomFuzzy.”

“You have claws.”

BoomFuzzy looked down at his hands.

“Three apricots und ya still sees claws? Yis a powerful Wizard.”

“You’re not from around here are you?”

“No, We does comes from de East. We does grews up on de coast. Wid de ocean. And salt water taffy. Does ya like candy?” BoomFuzzy handed Quaraun a box of salt water taffy.

“I don’t eat Faerie food.” Quaraun put his hands behind his back and stepped away from the unElf.

“No? Apricot? Who says anyt’ing abouts Fae food?”

Quaraun took the fourth apricot.

“You’re a Faerie. One must never take food from Faeries.”

“Really? Apricot?”

Quaraun took the fifth apricot and kept on talking.

“Faeries drug their food.”

“Aye. Und who but yis be speak o Fae?”

“It’s how they get their spells to work. How they trick people into thinking they are powerful.”

“But dey no be powerful, no, eh?”

“No. Fae are not as powerful magically as other beings are, so they use drugs to get into people’s heads and make them see things that are not there. Faerie chefs are worst then most, especially candy makers. They make their candy out mushrooms and frogs and poppies.”

“We does be Elf.”

“You’re a Faerie.”

“Ah, and how does de pretty one come to dat conclusion?”

“I am Faerie Sighted,” Quaraun said once again, feeling oddly dizzy and realizing the miasmic fog was having an effect on him.

“Are ya now?”

“Yes. Fae illusions don’t work on me.”

“What do ya see when ya look at me?”

“What do the others see?”

BoomFuzzy turned to BeaLuna. She was busying breaking off pieces of the gingerbread house and eating it.

“What does ya see when ya looks at me?”

“What do you mean, what do I see?” BeaLuna was confused by the question.

“Does We does looks not unlike a Moon Elf to ya?”

“Yep. Why?”

BoomFuzzy turned back to Quaraun, bringing his face close to the Elf’s and stroking his cheek while he spoke, his lips brushing against Quaraun’s face.

“But We does no looks like a Moon Elf to ya?”

“No. You have claws, like an eagle’s talons.”

BoomFuzzy held up his hand and looked at his fingers. BeaLuna questioned this action, for his short trimmed, well groomed finger nails looked no different from those of any other Moon Elf.

“Does ya see claws on me hands?”

BoomFuzzy ran the tips of his razor-sharp claws down Quaraun’s face and smiled a wicked, evil grin, as the claws passed over the Elf’s throat.

“Yes. They are each several inches long.”

“Quaraun, you’re mad,” BeaLuna scolded. “He doesn’t have any claws.”

“Yes. He does. Talons, actually. And razor sharp by the feel of them.”

Quaraun cringed as the claws traced a line down his throat and across his collarbone.

“You’ll have to excuse him,” BeaLuna said to BoomFuzzy. “He’s always doing that. Seeing things that aren’t there. He’s crazy. We try to ignore it and humour him. It’s generally best if you just go along with him and pretend to see whatever it is he’s seeing.”

“Ya often see t’ings dat ain’t no dere, Pretty One?” BoomFuzzy asked Quaraun as he began kissing the Elf’s cheek, while running his claws down the Elf’s chest to his belly.

“I... no... I... I’m always seeing things no one else can see. Can you... stop... touching me?”

“Yeah,” BeaLuna agreed. “He sees all kinds of stuff. Unicorns and stuff too.”

“Unicorns? Really?” BoomFuzzy smiled. “Does ya like unicorns, Pretty Elf? I shall remember dat. Oh we can has fun wid Unicorns.”

BoomFuzzy continued tracing a line down Quaraun with his claws, stopping to trace circles around his genitals.

“Yes... No... I like the idea of unicorns. Real unicorns are evil. Faerie horses. They kill people with their horns and eat them, prance around with the skulls on their horns like trophies. Unicorns are pretty though. Please stop touching me.”

“Ever been fucked by a unicorn?”

“What?”

“We does loves unicorns. They do be a favourite hobby of mine. Eating dem. They’s pretty darned near as tasty as Elves be.”

“You eat Elves?”

“We does loves Elves. Especially de aristocratic High Elves. Their pampered, fancy sugary diets of sweets and pastries, all dat candy dey eats, creates a wonderful buttery fat on deir bones. The Christmas Elves are best. Stuffed full of sugar cookies and candy canes. They lack de wild gamy flavour of Wood Elves. Wood Elves for supper and Moon Elves for desert, Christmas Elves served wid hot fudge and French vanilla ice cream, wid luscious baked menagerie topping. Not’ing better.”

“But you eat Elves?”

“If ya ever decides ya wants to be fucked by a Unicorn, We can arrange for dat to happen.”

“Why would I want to be fucked by a Unicorn?”

“Do ya knows how big a stallion’s cock be?”

“I... what?”

“I can make mine any size I wants it to be. Or has more than one.”

“More than one what?”

“Dicks? Nothing like being a double-dicked Unicorn, eh?”

“You are fowl mouthed.”

“Am I? I never noticed.”

Quaraun was trying to concentrate on what BoomFuzzy was saying, but the effects of the drugged apricots were clouding his mind, and the fact that BoomFuzzy had just slipped his hand inside Quaraun’s robe and was running is fingers in circular motions on the Elf’s belly, was distracting him.

“Of course dere be not’ing like ramming a unicorn horn up ya wee lil ass.”

“You’re insane.”

“Aye. We does is. Haha!

“Yeah, I can tell...

“And We does likes unicorns. We would loves to fuck ya wid a unicorn’s horn.”

“I... I...”

“And now We does has gone and put dirty images in ya wee lil head. We does can sees ya t’inking about what it might feel like to be fucked by a unicorn. Haha! Ya wants to be fucked by a unicorn.”

The candy maker slid his hand down between the Elf’s legs and had begun fondling Quaraun.

“I do not want to be fucked by a unicorn.”

“Ya cock says ya do.”

BoomFuzzy took a tight grip of the Elf’s erect cock as he said this.

Quaraun gasped.

He had not expected BoomFuzzy to do that, nor was he certain he wanted BoomFuzzy to stop doing it.

BoomFuzzy let go of Quaraun and turned his attention back to the Gnome.

“Does de Gnome want to be fucked by a unicorn?” BoomFuzzy asked BeaLuna.

“What? No!” BeaLuna looked horrified by the thought. “Why would you ask that?”

“Oh, We does asks everybody dat. We does likes to watch de expressions on deys faces. Ya’d be surprised how mony people actually likes de idea and asks me to find dems a unicorn willing to fuck dem. Which We can alwaies do. Ooooh! Ya can gets all de sex ye wants from unicorns. Watching deir faces whiles de unicorn be fucking dem, dat be even better. Best part of all t’ough be watching deir faces, as de unicorn slices deir heads off wid it’s pretty shiny silver horn and den dances in deir entrails, squishing blood all over his purple hooves, den skewering deir heads on me horn and dancing naked in de moonlight.”

“By the gods! You’re mad!” BeaLuna stared at BoomFuzzy, uncertain if he was joking or not. “What kind of a mind thinks thoughts like that?”

“What kind of a sick mind gets horny whist listening tos me saysing t’oughts like dat, eh?”

“No one normal, that’s for sure!”

“Well den, ya wee lil Elf friend here, he ain’t normal den, because me wurds be making him horny as heck over here. Haha!”

“Quaraun, we should go,” BeaLuna said. “This guy’s loony, and your father will be wondering where you got to and I’m gonna ruin my dinner if I eat any more of this house.”

“Oh take some house wid ya. We does has plenty more. So mony Elves round here. So much lovely buttery sweet Elf flesh to eat. Melt like butter off the bone. So succulent. Than plenty of bones to grind to flour. Make me more gingerbread. Me never meet an Elf who could resist BoomFuzzy’s gingerbread. Elves do love dair drugs. Nothing tastier dan High Elves high on hashish. Gingerbread brownies for the road?”

BoomFuzzy handed Quaraun a box of said drugged confections.

“I... don’t really want to leave yet.”

“What? Why?”

“I like BoomFuzzy. He’s...”

“Hims having too much fun wid me playing wid him dick,” BoomFuzzy said to the Gnome. “Run along BeaLuna, we’ve a lusty lil Elf to play with.”

“Quaraun, let’s go.”

“No, I like BoomFuzzy. He’s very strange. And familiar. Like someone I met on the road to Ivujivik. Wearing a new skin.”

“What are you talking about?”

“King Gwallmaiic.”

“King Gwallmaiic? The Elf Eater of Pepper Valley?”

“Yes.”

“BoomFuzzy reminds you of King Gwallmaiic?”

“Yes. Moon Elf or not, he’s a breath of fresh air, around all these stuffy, stuck up, arrogant Moon Elves who I really don’t like living with.”

“They lives by de fear dat de devil will chop off dems head.”

“Elves don’t believe in devils.”

“Wood Elves do. They believe dey be black devils lurking behind every tree waiting to rip out deir entrails and suck de blood from deir dying carcasses.”

BoomFuzzy moved closer to Quaraun once again, though Quaraun wondered how that was possible, the Phooka was already so close to him. BoomFuzzy ran his fingers down the Elf’s face.

“Yis such a pretty Elf. We doeses never seen a Elf as pretty as yis before. We would love to bed wid ya.”

BoomFuzzy was close enough now that Quaraun could feel the warmth of the candy maker’s erection pressing against him.

“I bed with no one.”

“Really? Not even Faerie kings on the road Ivujivik? Aye. Yis a Di’Jinn. Ya’re de Phooka loving, virgin Wizard We does been looking fors.”

“Yeah,” BeaLuna said. “He’s a virgin. Joined up wid some group dat believes virginity is power and absolutely refuses to have sex wid anyone.”

“Oh, my! What a fuckingly dreadful life. Dear oh dear oh dear. How does ya stand it?”

“I don’t like sex.”

“That not what We does recall. We recall ya very much enjoying being fucked un wanting more of it.”

“I most certainly did not!”

“Two days ago.”

“It wasn’t two days ago.”

“What? De sex ya did no enjoy hasing?”

BoomFuzzy grinned.

“Stop confusing me!”

“Has ya ever had sex?”

“No. I’m a virgin. It means I’ve never had sex.”

“Yeah. Yad t’ink it does does it not? Strange lil brain ya got. Ya does no remember much from one day to de next do ya?”

“Quaraun?” BeaLuna answered. “He’s absent minded. He’d lose his head if it wasn’t attached.”

“Well now. We does no want to be losing t’at now does we, eh?”

“He can’t remember things, wicked fierce. Tell him something, 10 minutes later it’s like he never heard you.”

“Ya really can’na remember one dae ta da next, eh?”

“No,” Quaraun said. “Weird short term memory. I don’t remember a thing I did last week.”

“So ya might not be virgin un ya would na knows it, eh?”

“Yeah. Something like that.”

“How come dat, eh?”

“There’s a JellyFish living in my head. It ate my brain.”

“Yeeaaah,” BeaLuna said to BoomFuzzy. “About that. He’s kind of crazy. Got drop on his head too many times as a baby.”

“Then de great Quaraun de Insane, really is insane, yes?”

“I don’t like being called insane.”

“What would ya have me call ya den? The village idiot? That suit ye better?”

“Why can’t you just call me Quaraun?”

“How come for can’na ya just says ya like being fucked by horses?”

“I...” Quaraun was caught off guard by that statement and couldn’t think of a response.

The half-Elf reached up to take hold of the collar of Quaraun’s coat, then made no secret of staring at the Elf’s crotch.

“Ha, ha. Then how does ya knows iffy ya likes sex or not, when ya can’na remembers iffy yas had it or not? Hmmm? Ya certainly enjoying de attention ya getting from me right nows.”

“I... I don’t know.”