A small brunette woman stood in the doorway, wearing a tight smile and a tight shirt. Although her shirt showed off all her curves to the umpth degree, I could only frown as it didn’t really accentuate anything. Although I could see the outline of her breasts, it was lacking a lot of size. Maybe the shirt pressed it down? Hopefully?

“Hello.” The woman snapped her fingers in front of my eyes. I looked at her as her smile morphed into a frown. “It’s not appropriate to be staring at a woman’s chest, you know.”

“Sorry about that.” I may be apologizing, but my eyes were still wandering. Not on her anymore, but on what was beside her.

Standing next to her hip was a large duffel bag that was bulging at the sides, the luggage inside begging to be freed from its imprisonment. I could see it now, a bra escaping and chomping my nose off. What the human imagination can accomplish when lacking all ideas of awareness.

“So I noticed you were looking for a roomy.” The woman said. 

“Yeah.” 

The woman waited as if she was expecting me to say more. If only she realized that I am not a man of such dialect until I etch it onto a page. Or type it on a computer. The first one sounds cooler. 

“Well,” The woman continued, obviously caught off guard by my lack of courtesy. “I was hoping to be your new roomy.”

Now it was my turn to get caught off guard. I hopped back, agasp, mouth agape, every part of my body screaming. I hope I did surprise right, cause years of gaming only allowed me to experience one emotion. Pure and violent rage.

“Why didn’t you just respond to my posts?” 

“That doesn’t matter.” The woman waved my question away as if it weren’t important. “What matters is that I’m willing to pay after the first month.”

“How much we talking?”

“Well, that depends on the living conditions.”

“I typed it on the forums. Two bedrooms, one bathroom, one living room, one kitchen.”

“That doesn’t address the cleanliness of the place though.”

I sigh and move out of the way, leaving the door open for her. Her smile returned, and she grabbed her bag, practically skipping inside. 

She dropped the duffel bag beside the wall and began scouring the place for any sign of dirtiness and unkemptness. I don’t blame her for wanting someplace good to stay, but the way she prowled through the room for any imperfection was kind of nerve-wracking. Not because I desperately wanted a roommate, but because it would be a pain to live up to those high standards just in case she chose this place. 

She began humming a tune that sent a wave of deja vu into me. It was like I heard the melody before, but I couldn’t remember where it was from. 

“Where’s the bathroom?”

I show her the way, and she begins inspecting the place just like the living room. I may not be the cleanest person, but I kept at least most of the rooms clean. Instead, I isolated all of my trashy habits to my bedroom.

“This looks rather clean for a bathroom?”

“What do you mean?”

Her face flushed, and she turned around and began stammering. 

“Nothing, it’s just my brothers would never clean the bathroom so I’m not used to one looking slightly clean.”

I take this news with an interesting perk of my ear. 

“So you have brothers?” 

She nods, not adding any more to that revelation. I’ve always wondered what having a sibling was like. I could never really grasp a hold of a sibling relationship, which is why I never wrote about them. 

Fun fact that fans of my novels may never know, the otaku character was supposed to have a sister which played into the idea of how siblings are portrayed in the anime medium, but I scrapped it after realizing I couldn’t write a relatable sibling for shit. The whole point of the story was that everyone around him behaved like actual people, so if even one was slightly off, it was a no-go.

“What about the bedroom?” 

I lead her to the second bedroom, which is the room right beside my own. It was barren since no one stayed in it. The only furnishings I gave it were a twin-sized mattress and a desk with a lamp sitting on it. Since I’ve never used it, I could see some dust and cobwebs in the corner of the room. If this fails because of that, I’ll personally curse whatever spider placed them there in the first place. 

Horrifyingly enough, the first place she looked was at the corner of the room. Her eyes narrowed as she spotted the cobwebs and traveled her gaze along the wall. She continued to hum that knowable unknowing tune that was now stuck in my head. 

“I think it can do with a bit of cleaning.”

“Yeah,” I said, scratching my head. 

She frowned at me while her eyes scanned my entire body. On any normal day, I’d be delighted as a woman undressed me with her eyes, but this wasn’t the normal type of undressing. It was a metaphorical and personality undressing. The worst type of undressing there is.

“You’re not much of a talker, are you?” 

“How could you tell?” 

She sighed and continued her disapproving gaze. “You’re never going to get a roomy with that attitude.”

“So you’re not going to take the offer?”

She smiled and continued her scanning. “I never said that now did I.”

I guess she didn’t. Or maybe she did, but just not directly. People are confusing. I’m confusing my confusion. I am Ty. 

“Are you okay?” 

I snapped out of my confusing confusion.

“Yeah.” 

She continued her search for half a minute, then announced she had finished. When I said that she still had yet to see the kitchen, she shook her head.

“I don’t need to see it.” Taking this as a bad omen, I sigh and prepare for her to decline. “I’ll take the offer.”

I head to the door, shoulders slumped, and came to the realization I completely misheard her over the desperation I definitely don’t have. I look back at her, incredulous beyond all shadow of a doubt. Will I actually get paid by doing absolutely jack shit like always? 

She approached me, once again undressing me in the bad way that I dislike. I had to retaliate and fast, so I did what any other person would do in my situation. I scanned my eyes on her figure, using my imagination to remove a piece of clothing one by one. Although I’m pretty sure I’d be the only other person doing this sort of thing.

At first, she looked confused, not knowing why I was so laser-focused. Then she sighed as realization finally sunk in.

“Can you please not?” She asked.

“If you don’t like it, you can always find somewhere else.” 

“Well.” She looked down at her feet, face blushing shyly. “This is probably the best I can do.”

“You wear good enough clothing. I can’t believe you don’t have money.”

Her lips puffed into a pout, and she stood straight as a soldier welcoming their officer. “My family is wealthy, but I wanted to get away from them.” 

That made sense to me. Every child wants to separate from their family at one point or another. That’s just how nature works. However, the more I thought about what she said, the more a certain, awful, despicable thought wormed its way into my head.

“Do you have any money?” She stayed silent, still gazing at the floor. “Well?” She mumbled something so quietly my ears couldn’t pick up on it. “I didn’t hear that.” I raised my voice to sound more imposing, hoping that’ll scare the truth out of her.

“I don’t have any money!” She screamed so loud I had to cover my ears before I went deaf. For such a small woman, she has some weirdly superhuman talents.

“God dammit!” I screamed back. Although I call it screaming, it was more of a buildup that turned into relatively nothing that devolved into a barrage of coughing.

“I promise you though, I can get a job.” She pleaded, hands clasped, puppy dog eyes unleashed and attacking my very soul. She may not have the hottest of bodies, but my god she a cute bitch.

However, despite the overwhelming odds of cuteness she was sending out, I had to keep my head on straight. I needed money before I’m kicked to the curb. And no matter the cuteness, my head was screwed on tight as a lightbulb. There were a lot of things I wanted to do in life before life gave up on me.

I decided to be focused and vigilant until I looked back at her. Eyes bulging out and face turning red, I could only stare as I got an eyeful of a lovely pink circle centered right above where her lungs should be.

She had lowered her shirt just slightly enough that I could see her nipples poking out. In stories like these, a dumbass author would compare it to a child playing peek-a-boo somehow, but I’m above that. Oh god, I’m not. Her nipple was like an adult hiding her face from their child, only to reveal themselves in a flash, giving that child so much joy they couldn’t help but laugh. There, I did it. 

The woman, whose name I don’t even know, stared at the floor. She tried her best to look unfazed by the situation, but it only took a glance to know she wasn’t alright. A surging flame burned in her eye, a flame so bright and warm I wanted to gaze into those eyes longer. 

I was at a loss for words. It’s been so long since I’ve seen a woman naked in the flesh. It’s been nearly six years since I graduated high school, so adding that by two and it’s been around eight. In between then and now, I filled the void with a lot of porn games, and only now did I realize how much I was missing out.

“Please let me stay.” The woman said holding back a lot of emotion. “You’re the only person I saw willing to let people stay free for a month. I got no money and nowhere else to go. Please.” 

She approached me and hugged herself against my body; her breasts now completely uncovered. I could feel my dick rise and harden and my head filled with a fog so thick that I could barely see two inches in front of me. 

Have I really been so desperate to touch a woman so badly that as soon as one came to my arms, I crumbled? Apparently so, since all my reasoning began wearing thin. Against all better judgment, I wrapped my arms around her, ready to delve into the pleasure that I’d never felt in all my life.

That was until I felt her shaking. Her body convulsed from her trembling. Whether it was fear that a man as pervy as I had all the power to do whatever I wanted with her, or anger at herself and the world that she had to resort to using her body to live a decent life. Either way, neither situation was even close to being good, and the fog that clouded my mind dissipated. 

I pulled her away and I could hear her gasp of surprise as I did something that neither of us expected to happen given the situation. She stared at the floor, not understanding what was transpiring. I grabbed the sides of her face and directed her eyes toward mine. We finally made eye contact and I could see them clearly for the first time.

Her eyes were a slightly pinkish-red color that stuck out from all other eyes I had seen throughout my life. Her pupils were also a strange shape, looking almost vaguely like hearts. Alarm bells rang in my head. I don’t know why, but the longer I stared into her eyes, the more I wanted to look away. 

Although my brain told me to turn, I couldn’t force my gaze to turn in another direction. I was absolutely fascinated with her. I hadn’t been so inspired to write about just a single detail of a person more than I had now. I could probably write three, no, four paragraphs of what her eyes looked like.

They were pink. They looked like hearts. They were so lovely that I couldn’t help but stare into them. Just looking made my stomach feel like it was melting with warmth and happiness. It was like my mind swallowed itself the deeper I gaze into the welcoming pink abyss. Was that four? Maybe. Now let’s get back to what I want to say to her.

“You don’t have to force yourself to do that,” I said. “If you’re so desperate to find a place to live, I’ll let you stay.”

I could hear her breathing stop for a split second. She looked confused, almost as if she hadn’t expected me to turn her advances down. I almost didn’t expect myself to do it either. I may not be the best guy on the planet, but I could certainly say I wasn’t the worst.

After I pushed her away, I tried gazing into her eyes again, but she looked away immediately, her senses returning to her as well. It saddened me that I couldn’t look longer, but after this day I could look any time I wanted.

“You’ll let me stay?” She asked. 

I nod. “Yeah.” She cheered and jumped into the air, her eyes drying from all the sadness that stained their beauty before. “However, you’ll have to get a job within the month and we’ll discuss payment from there.”

“Thanks.” Her smile returned with full force, nearly blinding me from the cuteness. At least it would if I wasn’t staring at those breasts that still poked out from her shirt. “You sure you want to keep those things out?” I asked, afraid that I would fly into the deep end once again if she just kept them out.

She looked down at her chest and grinned while sticking her tongue out. “You sure you don’t want to keep staring.” She teased me while pulling her shirt back up.

“Oh, most definitely.” I barked like a hungry dog. 

“Well, you’re too late for that now.”

God dammit, she’s just so fucking huggable. However, I must keep my composure. She’s nothing but a client as of right now. Since she’s my client, I must ask her the most important question that I really should have before she even entered my home.

“What’s your name anyway?” I asked.

She stared at me with a furrowed brow. “I thought I told you at the door.” If she did, then I sure as hell don’t remember. I shook my head, and she sighed.

“The name’s Harmony, goddammit!” Her voice gave away a certain frustration that I could easily exploit. Lesson number one for her; never show signs of weakness around me.

“Nice to meet you, Harmony Goddammit. My name’s Ty Peon.” She growled at me and the adventures of Ty and Harmony begin from this point forward.

“Wait, I thought your name was John Johnson?” 

Correction. It will begin after I explain my name.