After that little horny and strange prelude where I held a nearly topless crying woman in my arms, things turned back to normal. Although that normal had an extra guest this time. 

In the kitchen cooking up a storm, Harmony Yulyss stood in front of the stove, stirring a pot of cheese. Once she had told me her last name, I couldn’t help but laugh. I mean, Yulyss is such a dumb sounding name. How could I not laugh at it? Then I learned how it was spelled. My face stayed red for hours, but it was worth it. 

She wanted to thank me for extending my gracious hand to her in her time of need and decided to cook supper for the day. She asked me what my favorite meal was, and I said the first thing popped into my head.

“You want cheese dip?” Harmony asked, staring at me as if I lost a few marbles. “You have a chance to get any meal you want from a gorgeous woman, and you choose cheese dip.”

“You? Gorgeous?” She scowled at me, and I took the teasing down a notch. “Cheese dip is the height of perfection. If a world famous chef sat down the best five course meal I’ve ever seen, or even taste, I’d still choose the dip any day of the week.” Now to add in a bit of pizzazz. “Besides, a gorgeous woman making my favorite meal is way better than one making a five course meal.”

She sighed and turned toward the kitchen. “Fine, if that’s what you want.”

And now we’re in this position as she had meat browning on a skillet, cheese in a pot, and several spices and herbs sitting on the counter. I don’t know why she had spices in her bag instead of actual money, but it came in handy. 

Thankfully, there wasn’t a single obstacle blocking me from staring at her. At first, I would look at what she was wearing, then turn my attention back toward the T.V. She wore a skirt, not small enough to see what she was wearing underneath sadly, but still short enough to make a man dream. 

Those short glances turned into a full on sight seeing as the T.V. failed to capture my attention long enough before my gaze was drawn back toward those swinging hips. I was absolutely sure she knew I was looking too, since her movements became a lot more exaggerated as time passed on.

Before long, I had to look away since I didn’t want to be erect the moment she walks in here. After that moment in the bedroom, I didn’t want her to think of me as a creep too much, so I decided on a rule. I’ll keep my pervish nature to only glances and will not go beyond that. No erections, no touching, and no hand holding. After all, hand holding is the lewdest contact of them all, topped by none.

However, my gaze was drawn once again, but this time not for erotic purposes. Truly outstanding developments I know. She began humming that tune once more, and this time it was wracking my brain like no tomorrow. By this point, I had to ask just to settle my brain down.

“Harmony!” I shouted.

“Huh.”

“What’s that you’re humming?” 

“Oh.” I could hear the excitement in her voice from here. I was preparing for a simple answer, but from the way she sounded I had to mentally prepare myself for a full on spiel. “It’s this song called Faraway Heights. It was actually first performed in the show Loving Gates and ever since I watched that series I’ve fallen in love with it, especially the music.”

“Oh.” 

“You gotta watch it sometime. It’s about this girl that falls in love with a street boy and she-”

“Teaches him the love of writing and then they fall in love.” I finished for her. “Sorry to break it to you but I’ve already watched it.”

I heard something drop in the kitchen and I turn to see what it was. She had dropped the spoon she had been using to stir the cheese and yellow globs now stuck to the kitchen floor. Harmony bent down and picked it up, letting me get a pleasant view of what was under her skirt. At least it would if reality didn’t exist and the laws of physics kept her skirt down.

“Sorry about that.” 

“No problem, I’ll clean it up later.”

“Thanks.” The room went silent for a while. “Hey, how did you enjoy it?”

I shrugged, not wanting to extend my answer beyond what’s necessary. “Didn’t enjoy it.”

“Why not?”

She sounded like she was legitimately hurt that I didn’t share the same opinion as her. Lesson number two that she’ll learn from me: I’m not just gonna agree with everything she wants. 

“Because it ends with Eisha dying in the end. There was no narrative reason for her death. She just up and died, never to be seen again, poof.” I maneuver my hands to look like an explosion to emphasize the poofyness of my poof. “I’ve never really liked tragedies.” 

“Well, I take it in a way that says that life can strike at any moment. Not to mention Lucas grew dependent on her, so with her death he could finally learn to become his own person.”

Although that is a logical explanation for why she just had to be randomly run over by a drunk trucker, I still didn’t enjoy it. Storytelling 101 that almost all authors should live by: “An author should not write about real life since real life is oftentimes boring and unpredictable. Exaggerate if you must but never replicate it one for one.” Quote by me and only me and not something I just heard randomly on the internet. 

The remaining few minutes went by with only silence to guide us. I still checked up on her from time to time, and once I caught her looking back at me. She smirked and poked her ass out a tad more than before. I couldn’t tell if she was teasing me because she wanted to get railed, or if she just did it for attention. From how terrified she was before, I’d put my money on attention.

She brought out the cheese dip and I could smell the delicious, gooey, yellow concoction from my seat. With a plate of chips in hand and a bowl in the other, she sat my meal down in front of me, then went to grab her own. 

I was already licking my lips before it was even down in front of me, but now that my eyes could feast on such an amazing sight, my senses took it a step up by dripping saliva down my chin.

“You doing okay there Fido.” I looked up and saw Harmony sit on the other side of the table with a plate of chips and a bowl of her own.

“Yeah.” I wipe my mouth dry and grab the first chip. 

The sound of it grating against the other chips was music to my ears. Once it left the plate, there was nothing but silence and anticipation, and I knew exactly what to do in a moment such as this. It was foretold that when a weeb has a chip in their hands, they have to undergo a sacred ritual.

But first, the accessories must be applied. I ran the chip along the gooey cheese, picking up as much cheese and meat as I could muster. When there is enough to satisfy me, I repeat the words of truth, power, and wisdom.

“I’ll take a potato chip and eat it.” 

As soon as I said those words, power ran through my mouth and arms. I close my eyes for dramatic effect, and with grace and precision, I bring the chip closer to my mouth. My teeth close shut, and I hear a slight crunch. 

I open my eyes, but interestingly, the chip is still intact. Even more interestingly, my mouth hurts like a bitch. Even even more interestingly, I could see my tongue out of my mouth while my teeth were closed.

Oh.

I scream up toward heaven itself, my life force draining as the pain in my mouth only rises even higher. A shrill laughter emanated from opposite me, but I couldn’t retort with a sarcastic quip since the organ I would need to do that is currently burning like hell. 

I scream once more into the uncaring void and all goes black.

***

“Take that you bitch.” I yelled at my opponent that is probably on the other side of the world, not even caring that he’s losing cause he has a loving wife and children, a consistent job, and could still find time to fit gaming into all of that.

Nevertheless, as soon as I finished my infinite combo and his health dropped to zero, I still carried the victory like a badge of honor. I was about to scream, but my tongue went right back to aching again.

After I accidentally bit my tongue at supper, I tried to continue eating, but my injury just wouldn’t allow it. Let this be a lesson to all the young kids out in the world; a rough food such as a chip and an injured tongue doesn’t combine as well as one may think. 

I rinsed it with water earlier and noticed it had been bleeding a little, and I was about to add ice to it, but I once heard that adding ice to an injury only makes it feel worse. Or was it just burns? Either way, I’m going to be safe and not add ice rather than just look it up, which will take only a few minor seconds.

Water still did the trick, thankfully, so I stood up and walked toward the bathroom with my tongue sticking out. If Harmony saw me in this state, she’d probably say something like “You look like a dog.”

At least she may say that. In truth, I don’t know. We’ve not even known each other for a full day, and in that day I couldn’t help but feel some affinity for her. She has a similar sense of humor to me, just minus the anime which can be fixed later. 

She feels more like a sister to me than even my closest friends in high school. It’s just that I can’t keep my eyes off her for a single second, which can anyone blame me. If someone holed themselves up in a place for long enough, as soon as they come in contact with the opposite gender, they’d go ballistic.

I sigh and open the bathroom door, not even bothering to check if anyone is in there. This was my house for years after all. I’ve never needed to check until now. 

As soon as the door opened, I got another eyeful for today. Sitting on the toilet, Harmony and I locked eyes with each other.

“Uhm.” Harmony spoke up first. “You mind? I’m trying to take a piss.” 

If I had control over my body, I would’ve closed that door instantly. This isn’t about me looking at her pussy, either. In fact, that was the last thing on my mind. What I was staring at was much more intriguing, while also simultaneously terrifying. 

Shaking and swerving in the air, attached to Harmony herself, was a tail with a heart-shaped tip.