Well then, life. Can I draw a question for you to answer? Of course, you can’t speak back, life. You’re a figment of perception that people use to come to terms of their own existence?
I held this question back, because I wanted to laugh in the face of the news. One elderly man dead? I don’t care. It’s a lot funnier when a woman of my past smells the fragments of intense sex I had in the living room and I look away all embarrassed.
Now that my mind is clear, I wish to ask this one simple question. Why did these people have to die?
I don’t mean it on a literal level either. Obviously, they had to die because someone set out to kill them, but why did someone set out to kill them? That’s also easily answered by people such as the ONN, of which I am the only member. They set out to kill because they felt like they had no other choice.
But why was there no other choice?
Do you just get a kick from seeing people die in the most horrible way possible? That’s incredibly edgy if that’s the case, and no one likes to read an edgy story. You know what people like to see? Well, I can’t tell you that, life. After all, this is real life. No one would want to read that.
But in this realm that is known as life, I can say with certainty that people like to read stories that give reason for tragedy. That’s why when people spot a plot hole in a story, they begin to complain and say that the story makes absolutely zero sense.
Even in the most lax of world’s created by an author’s imagination, a world where pigs fly and goats sing, there is always a level of logic following behind the story. How come the pigs fly and goats sing but the cow can’t dance?
Life, do you get my meaning? Why do all these tragic things happen around us? What narrative purpose is there for a serial killer to be on the loose. It’s not like I’m ever going to get involved with it. Oh, who am I kidding, life? We both know you’re going to try and find a way to get me involved.
That also begs the question, why am I going on this pointless monologue within the confines of my mind while a redheaded woman is napping on the chair across from me? Am I just bored and decided to speak to myself like a crazy man? Is there even any meaning behind this? Maybe not, but I’m going to give it meaning.
I’m going to predict the future. In about five minutes, Harmony is going to burst through my front door and take me outside where we’ll travel the city in a fun and relaxed comedic section. We’ll laugh, pat each other on the backs, and maybe get it on in the park where we’re at the most risk of being seen.
By my own reasoning, there has to be a purpose to why I made this prediction. Well, there is, but why would I explain my own reasoning in my own brain? It would be weird if anyone were to somehow be listening. If that were the case, then that would mean mind reading exists in this world, and that’s a mess I don’t even think the best stories in the world could explain.
Well, Harmony will appear in five, four, three-
“I’m home!” Harmony yelled, bursting through the front door.
“I was fucking kidding.” I say, groaning while rubbing my forehead. Jessica sputters and wakes up from the sudden noise being tossed about.
Harmony looked at Jessica, and I looked as two people, both of which I really didn’t want to see, appeared from behind her. I was wondering how I was going to explain Jessica, but it turns out we each have surprises.
“Am I interrupting something?” Harmony asks.
“Nothing except her beauty sleep.” I say while pointing at Jessica who was rubbing her eyes.
“I haven’t slept a wink for an entire day. I deserve at least a nap.” She looked at the three women that entered the room and back at me. “Does that explain the smell?”
I shrug and stand up, not giving her the satisfaction of an answer. It works as she just looks at me like I’ve just yanked away a dangling carrot at the last second before she chomps down on it. Does she like carrots? Maybe, but I’m not going to bother to ask.
I drag Harmony out of the group and show her off to Jessica. Harmony just smiled and waved, visibly confused at what was happening.
“Harmony, this is Jessica, an old friend of mine. Jessica, this is Harmony, my roommate.”
Jessica looked at the both of us, then nodded as if all the pieces had finally come together. “So that’s why it smells like this in here?” Damn. She really is a good detective.
“What smell?” Harmony asks.
“It smells like a back alley strip club in here.” Karina said, walking into the living room.
“Okay, how do so many people know what a back alley strip club smells like?” I ask.
“I’ve had a party at one once.” Karina answers. “It had to end early cause this dude got stabbed in the back rooms.”
“Was it the Old Yellow Testie?” Jessica asks.
“Yeah, it was crazy. The stabber got away before anyone could stop him.”
“I worked on that case and helped track him down. I wonder how One Eyed Larry is doing in prison nowadays?”
Okay, I’ve had enough of this.
“What are you two doing here?” I turn my attention to Karina and Miranda. More to Miranda, since I didn’t want to deal with Karina’s chattiness.
“We’re going to eat out with Harmony and you’re coming with us.” Miranda said, poking my chest. I had no clue if I should be offended or amazed that it somehow hurt more than that time I accidentally cut myself with a knife while cooking.
“Why do I have to go?”
“Because it’s not good to stay cooped up inside forever.” Karina said with a pout.
“How do you know how long I’ve been at home?”
She pointed at Harmony, who couldn’t do anything but smile and wave. She’s been doing that a lot lately. She shouldn’t be uncomfortable with smiling, not even with a fake smile like the one she has on right now.
“I haven’t had problems with staying home forever before, and I don’t need to now. I’ll only leave if I have to get food and that’s it.”
Suddenly, Harmony and Miranda looked at each other with determination in their eyes. They nodded at each other, then looked at me. What are they planning on doing?
“You left home a week ago when you wanted to make sure I was safe at work.” Harmony smiled and brought out those damn puppy dog eyes. She didn’t look directly at me, but she made sure I could see her expression. “So, if it’s for me, will you pretty please come eat out with us?”
Her eyes overpowered my heart, grasping it in her soft and slender fingers, pulling me down. Damn her succubus powers. Although I would like to say that I refused the temptation and kicked them all out, I can’t lie, I gave in.
“Fine, but you’re paying. You just got paid recently, right?”
“Yeah, I already deposited her pay in her account.” Miranda said.
It was tricky getting that account in the first place. She needed proof of identification, and her being a succubus from a far off island meant she didn’t have any on her. I had to open a second account just for her, but when she gets proper identification, I’m cancelling that account as soon as the money’s out.
“Alright. I do have some rules, though.” I point at Karina. “First, you have to talk at least fifty percent less.”
“So you want to kill me?” She yelped.
“Sure, why not.” Next, I point to Jessica. “Second, she’s coming with us.”
“Wait, why?” Jessica asks.
“Because, besides Harmony, you’re the only person I can talk to normally. I need to balance out their shit.” I point at Karina, who was busy trying not to explode from the lack of talking and Miranda busy keeping Karina’s mouth shut.
“As long as everyone else is fine with it.”
Harmony smiled and held out a hand. “Any friend of Ty’s is a friend of mine.”
Jessica looked down at the extended hand, then held out her own. They shook their hands with a newfound friendship, but only Harmony was smiling.
Jessica removed her hand and picked up her trench coat, putting it on while walking to the door.
“I like your coat.” Harmony said.
“It’s actually my work’s coat, but thanks anyway.”
She left and headed to Miranda’s car. Miranda and Karina headed outside right after her, leaving Harmony and me inside. Harmony walked up to me with a confused look on her face.
“What kind of job will make their employees wear a trench coat?” Harmony asks.
“She’s a detective.”
“A detective of what?”
I could sense a slight tinge of urgency in her voice, but it’s probably nothing too big. She won’t ever need to worry about them in the first place. Not even if her identity was revealed to the public.
“She works for the police.”
I could hear Harmony suck in a breath. I was tempted to explain why she came over, but held my tongue. I don’t want to dive headfirst into the situation, and knowing Harmony, she would probably do it without hesitation. It’s better for the both of us if I just don’t say it.
“Come on. You brought me into this, so you’re not backing out last minute.”
I said, grabbing Harmony’s hand and dragging her out.
