“I want an explanation.” I say as we walk to the front door. I could hear people talking from inside, which sent my nerves skyrocketing to the nearest galaxy. “What the absolute fuck is this?”

“This is the absolute best restaurant ever, that’s what.” Karina answers.

I looked up at the rickety and beat down sign that hang on top of the building that read: Yang’s Bar and Restaurant. A piece of graffiti was sprayed along the wall that looked like it was supposed to be a skull and crossbones, but someone tried to clean it up, failed to do it, then gave up halfway through, leaving a mess on the wall. Even the door wasn’t safe since a piece of it was torn off and jagged pieces of wood stuck out, waiting for a victim to stick its infinite splinters into.

The voices inside only grew louder as we came closer, and at the point of no return, I steeled my nerves and followed Miranda and the others inside as they opened the door. What is waiting ahead of me is unknown, but the very least I can do is keep moving forward. 

I entered, and immediately all talking within the establishment ceased. I looked around at all the customers sitting at the tables, at the booths, and the single Asian man behind the counter. 

At least eighty percent of the people here were rough looking mid aged men past their prime. I don’t think I saw a single man that was below thirty-five and didn’t look like they smoked five packs of cigarettes a day. The other percent were women that didn’t look any better. However, I spotted a woman that was at least in her twenties nearby, but she was surrounded by a bunch of obviously drunk men. 

The only person who looked in their prime, young, and moderately healthy was the Asian man behind the counter. He was busy making a beverage for the men at the booths, but when we came in, he locked all his attention on us, just like everyone else in the bar. 

Why were they staring? Did I do something stupid just by walking in? Am I about to get beat up, spit on, then tossed out back for the rats to gnaw on? My head grew light as the constant attention on me blew my nerves and the only thing I could think about was leaving as quickly as possible. 

I was about to run out as fast as my legs could move, but a slight chuckle to my left forced my legs to freeze. Is this it? Am I about to die? I thought back to my entire life and only one thought came to mind. 

Why is the only thing that’s coming to mind is that one time I missed that kick during football and everyone laughed at me?

All of a sudden, the bar erupted in cheers and shouts, calling for one name in particular.

“Karina!”

“How you doing, girl?”

“Came back to have another drink off? I’m hoping for your win this time.”

A few men stood up from their seats and walked up to Karina, greeting her with either a hug or handshake. She laughed and talked back like they’ve known each other since their womb days. Even Miranda walked up to them and carried on a conversation like no problem. When she made herself known, everyone turned their attention to her.

All Jessica, Harmony, and I could do was stand at the front door wondering what to do. I was still incredibly uncomfortable, and I wanted to be anywhere else but here at the moment. All I could hope for was that they didn’t turn their attention towards us.

“Hey,” a man pointed to us. “Who’s your friends?” 

How many times has it been now that I’ve said or thought something and then the opposite happens? By this point, I just need to learn my lesson cause I’m pretty sure I’m jinxed. Hold on. I don’t want a billion dollars! Nice, now all I have to do is wait.

“Thats Jessica, Harmony, and the Ty Peon.” She grabbed me by the shoulder and dragged me up to the man.

She placed me in front of him and I gulped down the nervousness that was rising in my throat. The dude was an absolute beast of a human being. I had to look up at him and I’m not a short person. I was a nice six feet tall, but this guy was nearing seven. Then there were his muscles, which I could imagine him crushing my head easily with those hands of his. They were as big as my entire head, for christ’s sake!

“This guy, right here, wrote possibly the best book ever known to mankind.” Karina said.

The man looked at me, and I could feel the sweat pouring down my face. I had to squint my eyes just to not have any sweat get inside.

Suddenly, the man smiled. “I can’t say I’ve heard of him, but if you like him, then so do I.” The man grabbed my hand and shook it. He gripped onto it so hard that I feared that my hand would crack. “Alright, I gotta get back to my seat. Party at your place later?”

“Maybe. We’re just here to give this man the best food the world has to offer.” Karina said.

“I wouldn’t say it’s that good.”

“I heard that.” The Asian man yelled from the counter.

The burly man waved and walked back to his seat, and the rest followed shortly after him. Meanwhile, Karina beelined toward the counter and waved for the rest of us to follow. I looked back at Harmony, and we both shrugged and walked to the counter. 

“How you doing Zeehoo?” Karina asked the Asian man.

“For the last time, Karna.” He said her name wrong on purpose, but Karina didn’t seem slightly bothered by it. “My name’s Zihao.”

“So, Zeehoo, what do you have on the menu tonight?”

The man looked at Karina as if waiting for a punchline that is never going to come. He sighed and reached under the counter, pulling out five menus and laying them on the counter. 

“We have the same stuff on the menu as last time.” He looked at Karina. “I think I already know what you want, so I don’t even have to bother asking.”

“Are you sure you know?”

“Fried frog legs with a side of mac n cheese and a loaded baked potato. Did I get anything wrong?”

Karina stayed silent, but shortly gave up and admitted defeat. “Fine, I guess you know.”

“You come here at least twice a week and order the same thing. I’m surprised you’re not dead by this point. At the very least, fat.”

As I stared at the menu and watched Zihao prepare a drink for a woman sitting at the counter, I could only think how strange it was to see an Asian man preparing fairly western food. I don’t know if it’s just me, but every time I imagine an Asian man working in a restaurant, I imagine something akin to a place that sells sushi rolls or orange chicken. 

Once he was done serving the other person, he looked at us and took out a notepad. 

“Drinks? If you don’t want alcohol, we have coke beverages as well.”

Karina and the others ordered their drinks, one after the next. Jessica tried to ask for a coffee, but according to Zihao, that was something not on the menu. She settled with sweet tea by the end. 

Then he made his way to me. I looked at the drinks and settled on a Dr. Pepper, but now I had to give the order to him.

“Dr. Pepper.” I mumbled.

Zihao brought his head in closer. “Sorry, I couldn’t hear you.”

“Dr. Pepper.” I said, much louder this time. It was so loud, apparently, that a few people stopped talking just to look at me. 

“Alright man. No need to shout.” He wrote down the drinks on the notepad and went into the back room.

Harmony, who was sitting to my left, looked at me. I could already see the worry in her eyes, so I put on the best smile I had.

“You okay?” Harmony asks.

“Yeah. I just have poor volume control. One moment I’m as quiet as a rat, the next I’m screeching like an eagle.”

“Ooh. You should use that in your next book.” Karina suggested.

I was about to refuse, but now that I think about it, it could possibly work. All I’d need to do is set up a situation that would allow such a thing. Then presto, got myself a cool line. As we got our drinks and ordered our food, my mind kept on wandering back to my true passion.

***

It’s been nearly ten minutes since we ordered our food. As Zihao messed around in the kitchen, someone else took his place. She was a very small and childlike person. They looked almost like a kid, but it couldn’t be a kid since this is a bar. That would be illegal and the ethics police will show up to apprehend the culprit.

“Who’s the midget?” I ask.

“I’m ten.” The midget says.

Where is my billion dollars? I should be driving a Ferrari by now, not eating in a bar that sells frog legs. 

“Why is a kid at the bar?” Jessica asks. Of course, she would be interested in this.

“I’m just filling in for Daddy. He told me I couldn’t sell the beer, if that’s what you’re wondering.”

“You’re just so reliable, Lai. Give me a hug!” Karina shouts, attempting to reach across the counter to hug the small gremlin.

“There’s a police officer right there you know.” Lai said, pointing to Jessica.

“How do you know I work with the police?”

“You wear a trench coat.”

That’s fair, I guess. The first two things that pop into my mind when I see someone wearing a trench coat are either they’re a detective or they’re a streaker. But the streakers prefer much larger trench coats than what Jessica has on, which leaves only one possible option.

Suddenly, the back door opened, and out rolled a cart with a large amount of fully cooked food on top. I could smell the heat and flavor basking off the food. Although it smelled like heaven, all that shit came out in only ten minutes, if not less. How in the absolute fuck is any of that shit done?

I looked over at Harmony and Jessica and they had the same expression that I was having at the moment. Meanwhile, Karina and Miranda were rubbing their hands together and licking their lips. 

He placed the food on the counter and gave us our silverware, then went to serve someone else. Is he really the only one working here? I didn’t hear anyone in the kitchen and there weren’t any servers walking around, so he had to be the only person working here. But he finished all this food in less than ten minutes. How is that even possible?

I look down at the food on my plate. It was the most basic of basics. The default food that every restaurant has for unexciting people like me. Four strips of fried chicken tenders with a side of seasoned fries sat on my plate, screaming to be eaten. 

Well, little chicken strip, if you want to be eaten, I’ll take up that offer. I grab one, raise it to my mouth, and chomp it down with little fanfare. No savoring. No smelling. No nothing. I just eat, chew, and swallow.

“This stuff is pretty good.” Jessica says.

“I said it was the best.” Karina said.

I shrug my shoulders. “Eh, it could be better.” I whisper that since I didn’t want to offend the person who made the stuff. 

I was expecting some sort of heavenly taste with how Karina described the place, but the food tasted just like how it should. Nothing made it stand apart from anything else, but it wasn’t awful either. It was just food.

Harmony ate a spoonful of the chili in her bowl and repeated my sentiment. “It’s good.”

All of a sudden, all talking ceased inside the building, which only sent a shiver down my spine. It was way too quiet. I looked up to see what the problem was, but when I did, I nearly choked on my food.

Staring at me right up in my face was Zihao, with a demonic look in his eyes. I didn’t move a single muscle, afraid that if I did, it would be like signing my own death warrant. 

“Would you care to repeat that?”

I struggle to open my mouth, but I couldn’t stay silent forever. If I do, I don’t know what will happen to me.

“It’s good.” I say.

He looked at me a moment longer with that demonic glare, then he moved back. “Thank you for your feedback. I hope you enjoy your meal some more.” He walked away to another customer and everyone began talking once again.

I want out. I want out. I want out. I want out times twenty-five. I didn’t like it here, and I just want to go home. I can only shrink away inside my seat and finish the rest of my meal silently and pray to God that I’ll get out.

Out of nowhere, Karina shouted, and I looked over. Her face was flushed, and she held a cup that was previously filled with beer in her hand. She couldn’t stop laughing at what had just happened, and was very obviously drunk.

“I want to shtay here forevr.” Karina said, chuckling to herself.

Where the fuck is my billion dollars already?