Kaede grasped the door frame as she limped out from the Princess' cabin. Her legs felt like wobbling sticks of jelly that struggled to hold any weight. After ten hours of kneeling on the rock yesterday, the lingering pain had long been replaced by a numbness that now refused to go away. It seemed a testament to a Samaran's fast healing that she could walk at all.

Unfortunately, the expandable cabin had an elevated floor that raised it two steps above the ground. Two short, wooden steps -- which barely even warranted a thought in everyday motion -- now proved a daunting hurdle.

Kaede reluctantly reached down with her leg. She made sure to get a sound footing. However as soon as she shifted the bulk of her body mass over, even her light weight proved too much. The leg crumbled beneath her, and the Samaran girl collapsed towards the dirt and pebbled ground.

"Kaede--!"

"Air Cushion!"

The distant spell came just in time. The air condensed beneath her, breaking her fall as though a giant, deflating balloon.

"Kaede, are you alright?" Pascal called out as he and Robert rushed up to help her stand.

"Sorry," Kaede muttered, ashamed that she couldn't even walk by herself.

I feel like a crippled on rehab...

"You have nothing to apologize for," Pascal scolded. There was no trace of his prideful or teasing smile. Her master wore only one expression today: tight-jawed brooding.

With the two men holding onto her arms, Kaede teetered over to a yew tree in the center of the clearing and sat down against its trunk.

"How was calling her name supposed to help anyway?" Pascal turned back to face Robert, who bit down on his lips in annoyance with himself.

"Pascal, don't be a jerk," Kaede retorted for the abashed armiger. "I'm glad you broke the fall. But not everyone thinks fast on their feet."

"No, he's right," Robert sighed as his eyes bore a hole into the ground. "I'm never helpful when I could have helped."

His gloomy dejection was a stark contrast to the usual, bright demeanor of this boyishly handsome knight. It made Kaede cast a scowl in her master's direction, only for it to bounce completely off his thick hide.

-- Though to be fair, he wasn't exactly paying attention.

"Here we are -- Rejuvenate spell," Pascal settled on a page of the spellbook he had pulled out. He then knelt down beside Kaede's outstretched legs. "Give me a minute. I have not cast this for a long time."

Pascal wasn't a healer, so there was little reason for him to dedicate the more complex curative spells into muscle memory. This meant he had to use spellcraft the hard way. By zoning out from the world and focusing all attention inwards, he would align his nerve conduits into the proper array necessary for shaping mana into a spell.

It left the other two in a brief moment of silence.

"How is Her Highness doing?" Sir Robert tentatively asked.

"Lady Mari is with her now, trying to get her to go back to sleep." Kaede spoke with care, as she hoped to suppress her own mixed emotions toward the Princess.

She had silently cried herself to sleep last night, only to wake up in the Princess' arms during the middle of a nightmare. Her mind was too befuddled at the time to realize what was going on, and immediately conjured the worst case scenario that Sylviane was trying to strangle her. Kaede struggled in panic at first, twisting and straining against the tight embrace. It was only when foreign tears fell wet against her cheeks that she finally came to the realization that the Princess not only harbored no ill intent, but was instead pleading for forgiveness.

Sylviane's sobbing apologies came in an endless stream. They were not just sincere but made in almost desperation. Rather than merely the voice of someone with a guilty conscience, they felt like the confessions of a woman struggling to maintain her sense of identity -- one where she still controlled her own actions.

Yes, Kaede still felt scared at the time. Yes, she still felt bitter and sullen. However in the face of such emotional misery, it had been impossible for her not to feel sympathy and pity in return. In that moment, it felt like all the barriers between royalty and familiar crumbled. Before long, Kaede found herself hugging Sylviane back. She did so hesitantly at first, but with soft, reassuring whispers as the night went on.

It was hard not to extend forgiveness when another made such a hard landing in bleak, utter depression.

Besides, what else could I have done? She's Pascal's fiancée...

The two girls had stayed like that for the rest of the night. The Princess and the familiar sat on the floor and in each others' arms, silent except for the intermittent sobs and the occasional calming whisper. It was a rather bewildering experience for Kaede, as she not only had zero idea of how to behave in such a situation, but even her posture had grown uncomfortable over time.

The Samaran girl was certainly glad when Lady Mari returned in the morning.

Talk about a 'unique' bonding experience...

Kaede could probably forgive the Princess this time. After all, Sylviane was truly sorry for it, her own legs would recover in a few days, and no permanent damage had been done. Though it was hard to not feel bitter when she couldn't even walk by herself.

But... What about next time? The familiar worried. Will I even be able to walk away?

"Sir Robert, could you please tell me..." Kaede began, her brain grasping at straws to cushion the blunt statement. "Is the Princess... mentally unstable, or something?"

"Yes and no." Robert's brows furrowed back at that.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

The young armiger sighed in exasperation.

"It means Her Highness is bipolar. Her mood swings like the moon and its two faces. It's obvious to anyone who understands what bipolarity means. Except my father wouldn't actually classify her as such because her symptoms aren't severe enough."

Kaede thought back to yesterday, when Sylviane went from raging machine to sobbing wreck within the span of just a few hours.

"You call that 'not severe enough'?" Her eyebrows shot up in response.

"To be considered a proper mania episode, it has to last at least three days," Robert emphasized. "Yesterday was the worst one I've seen from Her Highness to date, but it hadn't even hit forty hours before subsiding..."

Three days! Kaede shivered at the prospect. If yesterday was any indication of how quickly events could spin out of control, she would be the victim of 'off with her head' before three days could pass!

"This is not to mention that her 'hypomania' are a milder form of the bipolar 'mania' episodes. We can still talk her out of some poorly influenced decisions, which is not the case for a true 'mania' episode as my father has documented," Robert finished with a grave stare.

The fact they had such precise, clinical terminology for psychological disorders was yet another sign of just how advanced Hyperion medical sciences were. It reminded Kaede of how much she grossly oversimplified a complex reality every time she slapped the label of 'pre-industrial society' upon this world.

"I take it that your father is some kind of expert in this field then?"

"Yes," Robert said with a sigh. "Both of my parents are healers by training. They've campaigned alongside the army in every war Rhin-Lotharingie has fought in for nearly a century. They spent countless hours patching troops together. Over the years they realized that while physical wounds could be healed by curative spells, the mental scars that veterans accumulated were... much more difficult." He finished with a frowning scowl.

Of course, Kaede reflected. Not only do Hyperion mages live much longer, but magic brings a level of destructive savagery unseen on Earth until the World Wars...

Robert then offered her a wry smile. He wasn't rebounding from his gloomy mood earlier. However there was still a shadow of his usual cheery self as he explained with a personal passion:

"You could say they're pioneers in the field. In fact, they were the ones who coined the terms 'anxiety disorder' and 'mood disorder' to separate behaviors like panic attacks from the more common problems we see in everyday life -- like mania and depression."

"Why did you become a royal armiger if both of your parents are healers?" Kaede puzzled. "It's obvious that you're interested in their line of work."

"Well..." Robert shyly scratched his cheek. "You see, I had wanted to be a healer. I mean, like most boys, I wanted to be just like my father. I wanted to help others and see the gratitude in my patients' smiles. But my father? He said I lacked affinity for the healing arts. So he wanted me to be a royal attendant instead..."

Robert then took a long sigh. "He told me that it was a rare opportunity too. They had become acquainted with Emperor Geoffroi thanks to his interest in their work, and he was looking for a companion for the young princess at the time. They said that if I truly wanted to help other people, this was the best way."

He's technically right. The difference in scale is just incomparable, Kaede thought.

A doctor might be able to help individuals. But those in position to advise powerful figures could influence policy, which benefited the populace of entire nations. However, as Robert leaned back against the yew tree with a sour look, it was clear that his life as a royal armiger was his father's choice, not his.

"Did your father force you into becoming an armiger then?" The familiar asked next. She knew it was pretty common back in the day for fathers to enroll their sons as squires or apprentices in the hope that it would give them a better life.

"Not... exactly," Robert scowled unhappily. "I was insistent on becoming a healer back then. So at first my parents brought me to the battlefields of the last war. They wanted to show me just how many thousands of casualties came after every battle and how few they could actually help. But like most children, I had no sense of scale. So they ended up taking more... drastic means."

"What do you mean by that?" Kaede asked even as she had a bad feeling on where this went.

Sir Robert sighed and went silent for a moment. Then, as Pascal was still casting and the familiar's gaze lingered upon him, he finally relented and told the story:

"As you can imagine, my parents moved a lot when I was growing up, so I didn't exactly have any friends my age. My only playmates were our family's horses and a pet dog that I had begged for Mama to let me adopt. Then, one day, when I kept arguing with father that a healer could still do more than an attendant, father decided to settle the matter by cutting down Arly right in front of me."

One thing became clear to Kaede as she watched Robert's breathing hastened while outraged memories flashed across his eyes. For all the dedication his parents poured into researching the effects of trauma, they did not hesitate to inflict one upon their own son.

"I screamed at my father back then, pleading for him to heal her." He continued with a half-stifled, half-cracked voice "But there he was, just calmly watching her thrash and whimper her life away. There was blood all over, but he paid it no mind and looked at me with the coldest eyes I had ever seen in him. He asked me which could be done faster, easier -- to kill them all, one by one just like that, or to save even one of them from death."

Just as a prince could kill men faster than any healer could save. Kaede thought.

It took a minute of silence before Robert sighed once again. "I never did forgive him for that."

"That must have been... difficult," Kaede was at odds on how else to respond.

"It certainly changed me, changed how I looked at everything," he admitted. "It also made me realize that the world... was just really unfair. That becoming an adult means to accept reality for what it is, and not what it should be."

"Because you can harm others faster than you can help them?"

"Well... yes," the armiger gave a tilted nod. "Also the fact that the Knight Hospitallers -- the only institution in Rhin-Lotharingie that offers training in both arts at the same time -- doesn't accept any men."

"But--Ouch!"

Kaede's attention swiveled back to Pascal as his healing spell finished with an electrifying shock.

"Owowowowow..." Her legs seized up as the lingering electricity coursed through her nerves for several seconds.

"What was that for!?"

"As I have said: Rejuvenate spell." Pascal noted as he stood back up to stretch his legs. "There is a shock component in it to re-energize your nerves. Did you forget that time when Perceval cast it on you after the assassination attempt on me?"

"My legs need healing, not electroshock therapy!"

"The shock is part of the healing spell though." Pascal stared back with a puzzled look.

Recognizing that her cause was 'lost in translation', Kaede turned to Robert for a third opinion.

"Well don't look at me," he replied. "I thought His Grace picked the right spell... but I'm no professional healer."

...

In the end, Pascal settled on applying several Climatize Invigorate spells on her legs. They kept her muscles bundled in a soothing warmth, all while the slow healing effect aided in repairing any damage inflicted from yesterday.

"So what are the full symptoms of this 'hypomania'?" Kaede asked as she sat against the tree.

After all, understanding was always the first step. Plus it seemed that Pascal had already received this 'talk'.

"A 'hypomania' episode is a period when her mental functions move into an elevated state," Robert explained as he stood casually just two paces away. "There are actually many characteristics associated with it -- which is what makes these episodes difficult to identify. But the most common traits are hyperactivity, restlessness, inflated confidence to the point of grandiosity, and a general lack of inhibitions..."

"So... what Pascal suffers from all the time," Kaede nodded back earnestly.

"Hey!" Her master retorted from the right, apparently offended.

It was actually a welcoming change from his dead-serious face. Furthermore, it also returned a real smile to Robert's countenance.

"The key difference is that 'hypomania' is an episodic event -- a specific, finite period of time when her personality deviates from the norm," Robert clarified. Then, with a humored nod to Pascal: "although Kaede isn't entirely wrong. Her Highness is more like Your Grace during these episodes than Your Grace would like to admit."

"I do not lack inhibitions!" The Landgrave shot back.

So you're not denying the 'grandiosity' then?

Meanwhile, Robert's eyebrows shot up:

"I heard Your Grace once painted the entire Königsfeld Academy in rainbow colors, then filled its corridors with glowing swarms of pink flamingos."

"That happened only once!"

"I'm sure Your Grace's academic advisor could give me a full list of similar examples if we asked." Robert stared back as though a real psychiatrist in diagnosis mode. "But don't worry: denial is a common initial response for all individuals suffering from such a condition."

Kaede had tried to suppress her laughter, which turned into a rather feminine giggle that left both men with a tinge of red across their cheeks.

"But to be serious," Robert cleared his expression. "High confidence and self-esteem do tend to bloat one's perceived value of their own decision-making. And Your Grace's confidence is as high as they come."

Feeling a hint guilty for laughing at him, Kaede decided to defend her master this time:

"Pascal often argues with himself though. So the different voices in his head basically serve as his own self-checking inhibitor."

"Right," Robert simply nodded. "But Her Highness isn't used to being supremely confident. Her own self-doubts are what's normally holding her back. They make sure that every decision is thoroughly examined and reconsidered. But when you remove that and pump her full of self-assurance..."

She goes off the rails like a runaway train fueled by her own righteousness.

"Are you saying that she becomes like this because she wants to be more confident in herself?" Pascal's eyes widened.

"That's a theory," Robert shrugged back. "Honestly, even my parents have no idea. It may very well be a combination of factors, and the burdens on her as the crown princess are just one of them. All we know is that faekissed in general exhibit mood disorders with greater frequency. And that for Her Highness, the hyperactivity goes straight to her head when she enters a 'hypomania' episode."

"What do you mean?"

Instead of responding, Robert pulled open one of his extradimensional belt pouches and reached into it. What came out was a stack of papers that he handed to Pascal:

"Speaking of which, Her Highness wanted these done today... or as soon as possible. Though I would suggest you discuss them with the senior lords and commanders first. Unlike Weichsel, the Rhin-Lotharingie military is still feudal. The nobles have authority over the banners raised from their fiefs. It would be best if we snubbed as few prominent noses as possible."

"I know that," Pascal added irritably as he began to flip through them.

"What is it?" Kaede asked from the ground beside him.

"Charts for restructuring the army and various officer assignments for reorganizing the devastated formations..."

"When did she manage this?" Pascal stared back at Robert in disbelief as awe rose in his voice.

"Last night, before she let Kaede back in and slept."

"Last night?" Pascal's jaw dropped. "She had but a few hours! It would take even a headquarters staff -- an entire team of people -- several days to examine the hundreds of personnel available and make such proposals!"

"Like I said: straight to her head," the royal armiger reiterated. "I dare say that her brain works even faster than yours when she is in one of these energized states."

"So these 'hypomania' episodes give her a boost to intellect?" Kaede pondered aloud.

"In exchange for her emotional self-control, yes," Robert nodded back. "It also gives her energy when she is exhausted. It offers her inspiration when she is stuck. And it brings her courage when she stands against daunting odds. These papers here are just another perfect example of what she can manage during a crisis thanks to it."

Meanwhile, Pascal was still speechless as he continued to flip through the papers. The occasional nod from him showed that he was already considering her recommendations and agreeing with them.

"Of course, the trouble is that the more intense her episode, the less self-control she has. Not to mention the worse her depression becomes when she crashes afterwards," the armiger finalized as he glimpsed toward the Princess' cabin with concern.

"Is that why... you believe she'll make a good ruler? Despite her condition?" Kaede hesitantly asked.

Robert swiveled back around as he pursed his lips in deep thought.

"I'm not sure." He shrugged. "All personality traits have both their upsides and downsides. There is no such thing as a perfect trait for every occasion. Nevertheless, I can only say that Her Highness is fundamentally a good person, especially between her episodes. Even at her worst, I do not believe that she would commit a blatant evil. She may toe the line, but not even her mania would be able to justify a true crime to herself. Besides..."

Robert frowned for a moment before adding: "if anything, I would support her for the throne because of this."

"Because you think the pros outweigh the cons?" Kaede's brows furrowed, not really convinced by the idea herself.

"No," Robert corrected her at once. "Because what makes her a little bit insane actually leaves her saner than most of us."

Kaede blinked back, not understanding. However the young armiger beamed in response:

"How long do you think it would normally take for a prideful sovereign to acknowledge their own failings?"

If they acknowledged at all, the familiar immediately thought. After all, humans were naturally inclined to ignore their own faults while blaming their mistakes on others. And this was especially the case for those in a position of power to do so.

Kaede was still pondering when Pascal looked up from the papers he was holding. He gazed upon his familiar and Robert with an almost dazed expression, as though his mind was still in its own world.

"I must summon the ranking lords and commanders for an immediate meeting." Pascal declared as he waved the papers in his hands. "Sir Robert, might I ask your help to help bring Kaede to the camp's main command cabin later?"

"Of course," Robert exchanged a nod with Pascal before the latter strode off in a rush.

However, as Kaede struggled to stand up against the tree trunk, Robert beckoned her to sit back down.

"His Grace isn't going to gather the lords that quickly. You can take another hour here to rest."

The Samaran girl did as he suggested. However an uncomfortable silence soon fell over the two of them. Gone was the conversational mood from earlier as unease gathered in the handsome armiger's countenance. It felt as though he wanted to say something, yet had trouble voicing it out loud.

Then, with a deep breath, Robert finally forced himself to speak the words:

"Kaede, I... we, rather, owe you an apology."

"Why?" She felt her emotions tense. "It wasn't your fault for what happened yesterday."

"By we, I mean Mari and myself. We... didn't exactly try very hard to stop Her Highness yesterday..."

His statement only puzzled Kaede more. She remembered both of them kneeling on the ground and pleading to the Princess. If that wasn't 'trying very hard', then what was? They could hardly slap a royal highness and expect it to bring her back some sense. That only worked in fantasies. In reality, it would only land them in the oubliette.

"You put yourselves in her line of fire and begged for her to reconsider. What more could you have done?"

"Yes, we did that. In fact, we did everything we could think of to keep Her Highness from having His Grace flogged in public. That would simply have been an unmitigated disaster..."

Robert exhaled a deep breath -- at least the worst scenario had been avoided.

"But... we didn't exactly try very hard to hold her back when she imposed excessive punishment on you. That's why... both of us owe you an apology."

Kaede thought back. She had been too distraught over her own welfare at the time, when she realized that her attempt to put in a few words for Pascal only redirected Sylviane's anger towards herself. However, it was true that neither of them offered anything more than verbal objections when Sylviane hauled Kaede outside and glued her legs to a rock.

At the time, she had thought it was simply because they saw it as a hopeless cause. But in hindsight...

Her emotions suddenly flared as she felt wronged for a second time.

"Excessive?" She hissed. "It was unwarranted! She knows I was innocent!"

The armiger sighed as though he expected this.

"Pardon me, but no, you're not." Robert insisted as he stared back into her aggrieved gaze. "How would you like it if your fiancé was sleeping with another woman? Whatever the circumstance?"

"But that's--!"

"You must remember that the higher an individual's social status, the more they value reputation and image. For royalty, this becomes critical as legitimacy is valued above all. Infidelity towards a sovereign is a capital offense for a reason -- because even the illusion of it undermines their authority. Nobody will obey an empress who becomes the laughing stock of the court," he finished sternly.

Kaede bit down on her lip as she looked away. The historian in her knew this perfectly well: how many adulterous queens and ladies had been jailed or executed outright over the centuries for high treason? Many of them weren't even proven guilty. Merely the public accusation had been devastating enough to ruin their reputation.

It's still unfair, she couldn't help but fume in silence.

"But the fact is," Robert continued after the pause. "Her Highness knew perfectly well that neither of you had any intention of undermining her. She should have just given you a warning, or a proverbial slap on the wrist. Instead, she took her anger and jealousy out on you... and we..."

He sighed once more before an ashamed voice conceded to the inevitable:

"--And we allowed her to do it."

Kaede's gaze spun back in an instant. She met only a guilty, apologetic light from his vivid-green eyes. What happened yesterday wasn't because Robert felt like he couldn't stop the Princess. No, he chose to step aside.

"Why did you then?" She almost hissed, feeling what could only be classified as betrayal from the armiger who once saved her life.

"Because it was either you, or hold her temper back and risk her blowing it off at someone else later in the day. And I'm sorry, but she had far more important people to meet." He explained with brutal honesty.

"So I'm the punching bag?"

Kaede's phrase left Robert lost for a split second. Nevertheless her glare made it perfectly clear what she meant.

"We don't punch bags," he insisted first. "But true 'loyalty' means going beyond what is simply expected of us. And occasionally -- rarely, for something this serious -- that means being dealt the unfair card because we are the ones they can afford to offend."

Robert then turned towards the east. His eyes met the rising sun that was barely above the distant horizon as he added: "that is an important lesson to understand for any courtier's life. The trust we are given is not without its price."

"You say that as though I chose this life," Kaede mumbled in retort.

"Neither did I," Robert half-shrugged as he looked back. His gaze was at peace with his past and determined to face his future. "Those who walk the corridors of power do not choose. We're simply given a role to play. And while this may not have been my choice, I intend to play my part to its best."

The Samaran girl wasn't sure what to make of that. Yes, it was true that being born into nobility and royalty was both a blessing and a curse, for what privileges it brought also came with enough expectations to fill cargo ships. But courtiers always had a choice of whether they wished to stay near that power, even if it was often as dangerous as flames to a moth.

The real question for her was: Is this a life that I want to be a part of?

"By the way, is it true that you were a young man before being summoned?"

The unexpected question from Robert completely floored Kaede. And for a moment she simply gawked back.

"Yes?"

Robert tilted his head and looked up as he considered the implications.

"You know... I'm kind of envious."

Then, as the young armiger turned away with a shy look, Kaede found her mouth hanging in astonishment at his remark.

What is there to be envious about?

Aorii

Note: the "to be considered a proper mania episode, it has to last at least three days" is a reference to the fact that according to the DSM-V (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition), a state of mania has to last three or more days to be considered a 'proper' Mania episode. Sylv's symptoms are, in fact, so mild she'd have trouble getting a diagnosis for BPD in real life.