The night went and morning came. I didn't get much sleep, not because of my meeting with Amiya but because of Minami's snoring. The moment she fell asleep, it sounded like an earthquake was occurring.

Since it was getting pretty late last night, I offered to let her sleep here. She did not forget to tease me about that.

Anyway, as soon as the sun came up, I went outside for some peace and quiet.

If she ever sleeps here again, I'll sleep in the hallway, I mentally note.

Checking my phone, I see a message from Amiya. It was the time and place for when we would meet. 10 AM and at the café we used to visit a lot. Wait.

10 AM? That's in like, an hour...

Going back inside, I re-enter my apartment with the earthquake-causing girl. Grabbing whatever clothes I can, I get ready to go out. I take a quick bath and leave Minami a note before leaving. The note was an explanation of why I was out.

Just to make sure she doesn't miss it, I send her a text as well. And with that, I've sufficiently explained the situation. I would love to actually explain in person but that's not possible right now

As I'm commuting to the meeting spot, I feel a bit of what I felt last night. Regret. Truthfully, a part of me wanted to just ghost her and send her a message saying "Don't talk to me anymore."

But there's also the part of me who wants to be the bigger person. Be the one to clean the mess that is our relationship. I felt that ghosting her wouldn't really get it through her head.

I just felt...annoyed, in a sense. Annoyed that we still have to talk. I wanted to give her closure about us, but judging from her reaction last night, she probably thinks she still has a chance with me.

A few minutes later, I'm sitting inside the café sipping on some coffee. I arrived half an hour earlier than her.

Looking around, the café was full of nothing but couples, all getting handsy with each other. Normally, I would call this weird, but clearly, I'm the odd one out here.

As the atmosphere gets more and more suffocating, a hear the door ring open and see Amiya enter. I take a shallow sigh.

The moment she entered, everybody looked at her. She was wearing a white top with a long pink cardigan and skintight jeans. Her hair flowed like water from an upside-down tap.

Meanwhile, there was me just wearing pants and a white hoodie. The difference between us was obvious.

Sitting across from me, she gave a wide grin before ordering. While waiting, I run my fingers along the cup's rim as she gave me sidelong glances.

"So what's up," I start, "you wanted to talk right? I still need to go home in a bit."

Shifting her focus, she pondered the question.

I'm surprised how frank you are, she said.

When were you so straightforward, she said.

Anyway, what's with the rush, she said.

With every response she gave not answering the question, my irritation only built up. I really wanted to just get this over with. I was tempted to just up and leave, but I didn't wanna cause a scene.

And besides, I decided I would be the bigger person in this. She went on and on about mundane things in her life until her order arrived.

"So like I was saying, my friend was having trouble with—"

Giving an exaggerated and long groan, I bury my face into my hands. I wanted to go home.

"Amiya, can we just finish this, please?"

"A—Am I boring to talk to...?" she coyly asked.

"Ugh... No, nothing like that, I just NEED to go home. Someone's waiting for me."

I said it so casually. I meant to. Like I said before, Amiya doesn't mean much to me anymore. She was just a childhood friend I dated BECAUSE she was my childhood friend, but I've moved on.

"Someone...? Who? Your parents?"

"Uh, no, I met a childhood friend of mine."

In an almost robotic fashion, she blinked a few times before continuing on.

"Oh, really?" she whispered, "I thought I was your only childhood friend."

That last part sounded almost spiteful but I chose not to comment on it. Drinking our coffee at the same time, I try to steer the conversation back to last night.

"Hey, Amiya, I know you want to be more than friends but...I don't think I can."

She froze.

"Huh... Why not?"

Not trying to half-ass this conversation, I give her the utmost honest response.

"Because you cheated on me, that's a fact. Even if I did learn to love you again, I know deep inside that I wouldn't be able to trust you," I state matter-of-factly. "If you can't accept that reasoning, then I'm sorry but I don't really care. The bottom line is, the moment you cheated on me all those years ago, you lost your chance to have anything with me."

Some of the people close to our table gave a few stares before quickly looking away. It was an odd sight for sure. Me, the—quite frankly—average-looking person telling this beautiful girl off. Some of them probably even thought "Yeah, it's fine if she cheats on him."

Maybe it was just these resurfaced feelings or because of my already irritated state, but I wanted to dig deep into Amiya. Scream at her. Make her cry.

But I resisted. I didn't do this years ago for a reason. Because I still want her to be happy. It's weird how I can still say that, but the fact is, Amiya is a childhood friend of mine. A person I've spent the majority of my life hanging out with.

I can tell myself that she meant nothing to me all I want, but that's just untrue.

Sure, we had bad experiences and I don't even wanna talk to her anymore but...I want her to move on. I don't want her to feel the same pain I felt because two wrongs don't make a right.

"Hey, Kazuya... Am I special to you?" she asked, her head hung low. She sounded empty like a husk.

"...Not in the way you want to be, no. Like I said, you lost your chance with me the moment you cheated."

"...Remember when you showed me your sister's grave?"

Nodding in agreement, she continued.

"I didn't keep in contact with your sister nor did you talk about her a lot, so I was really surprised at the time. And when I realized the reason for why, in my head, I immediately kept asking for forgiveness, one that you couldn't answer, obviously," her voice still sounded empty, but I could tell she meant every word she was saying. "I kept saying, 'Forgive me, forgive me!' while crying that night. I already knew you saw me cheating, who couldn't after hearing such a story?"

Facing me, I saw the tears swelling up in her eyes. She seemed conflicted. I think she finally realized there's no ending here where we get back together.

"When we got onto the train to get home, I kept hoping that maybe, just maybe, we could fix our relationship. I thought we were special, that no matter what happened, we could still be together. I just needed to change. But that was just wishful thinking. You broke up with me in the end."

She continued on, her expression showing her sadness more and more. She really did finally realize. Amiya was just saying all of this to finally get her pent-up feelings out.

"After our break up, I never talked to you because I was afraid. I didn't want to get hurt again, I just kept crying to my friends over and over again to comfort myself. Never telling them the full story just so I could get their sympathy. Made you out to be the villain. But in truth, I knew trust was extremely important to you, and that I broke that trust."

Her voice was starting to get shaky. Sensing that she was about to start crying, I did something that I would do if we were still together.

Sitting beside her, I pull her head close and started stroking her hair. Wrapping her arms around me, she continued.

"I— After we broke up...at that overpass, I started thinking less of you. 'Why is sex so important to him?' I asked myself. But it wasn't really the sex, was it? It was the fact that I broke your trust. I could have broken your trust in a million different ways, this was jjust one of them."

Like I told Minami all those years before, for me, I think love is all about trust. She said it wasn't about the sex, which sounded wrong, but she was right. It was the fact she broke my trust.

Looking up to me, she asked, "Hey, Kazuya. Can I keep on loving you even if you can't love me?"

"...If that's what makes you happy."

=-=-=-=-=

Waiting at the bus stop, I check on my phone to see a notification from Minami.

Im sorry for my snoring (｡○́‿○̀｡) anyway tell me when you're coming home

Jeez, this girl. So cute.

I'm coming home now. I just got done with my business. Send.

Shoving my phone back into my pocket, I stare up into the sun. It was bright and vibrant, reminding me of a girl living in my home.

After today, I never met Amiya again. She said she'd keep on loving me, but I hoped not. Maybe, in the end, she found someone else willing to take her.

As for me, I already found somebody else.