Rieka POV

 

The words ‘Don’t think’, were always on my mind, after meeting that big, grey wolf.

His fur was surreal, ah, it was a mixture of black, white, dark grey and light grey...It was sexy...

I didn’t want to think…I don’t want to think!

His golden eyes looked so charming, they said, 'Come here! Come!'

I would make a joke about ‘Don’t think’, I’d make a song about it and when I came up to making a dance about it…

Bang!

If I could have heard my wolf, she had said watch out!

But, those damned feelings and emotions, wants and desires, were so strong, that I was so distracted about not thinking about them and didn’t know anything!

Yeah…A cage.

I didn’t even know hey, hadn’t a clue!

When I realized I was in a cage, I became utterly depressed.

My wolf shook her head at me and I just wanted to cry.

The big, grey, handsome, golden eyed wolf ruined everything! A full day after meeting him and I was already going crazy, and now, on the second day, I was trapped.

The people who trapped me, took me away and I resented myself more for it. If I was only paying attention…

 

***

 

After a day in this cage, I found two other people come to look at me…And one of them was the dog fighter man, who had taken me once before.

I felt even more the idiot and depressed when I realized I had been close to here before…I had left, only to travel back, how the hell did that happen?

Having the time to think about my travels, being locked in a cage and all, I did exactly that! I had literally left this town Vanin and gone south, only to come north, to be so close to it once again…

The amount of times I shook my head…

Oh, just to see the ecstatic look on the dog owner’s face when he saw me, disgusted me to the depths of my core.

With nothing else to do, but watch these damned Humans be the ones to think they could decide my fate, I couldn’t believe what was going on.

Thousands of dollars? Really? You think I’m worth that much?

Not knowing that practically every other untamed beast would be snarling, barking or clawing to get out of the cage, I just sat there, looking incredulously at these stupid humans wanting to buy me.

Should I shift and tell them that it’s not worth it?

I sorta felt bad for these idiots…

Then I remembered my predicament, my wolf telling me that I was becoming stupider.

Again, I wanted to cry. I wasn’t like this for no reason!

I yelled back at her, who else was going to be my friend except me! I wanted to have fun and be free and I was the only one that wanted the same!

I had troubles overcoming every obstacle, and I needed one person…And I found it in myself!

If I was serious, I know she liked me more, but I couldn’t be serious all the time! I had to make my life worth living, dam it!

And this was a big reason why our links were not strong…My wolf and I seemed to disagree too much, and I held a grudge against her.

She didn’t hate me, I know that…But…

 

After I was taken by the dog owner, I couldn’t do anything when I entered the same old place that I had been once before. Except…

Before the cage was even away from me, as I was getting ready to run, a silver, neck collar went over me. Stinging overcame me, and my hairs and neck felt like it was burning! I had to endure this only once before…

The neck collar was specifically made for Shifters, as it might be able to go of the human head, if one shifts, but…There are silver spokes that protrude out and go against the neck, so if one shifts from wolf to human, the spokes just protrude out more. With this silver, neck collar, it would leave damaging effects if one dares to take it off over the head. There would no doubt be scars that would be left on one’s face, probably for the rest of their lives…Who knows…

Luckily, the first time I had encountered one of these, I had run away while it had been off me. But, could I do it again?

My wolf shook her head at me and turned away.

Yeah…I’m a failure…

My eyes started to water but like hell I’d let a tear get away.

Ha!

I really had no words…My life was just one big letdown after another…

 

***

 

Several times, I had wanted to give up! Trying to figure out what was the point!

I was mad with the whole world and wondered why was I brought into it!?

But I can’t do it, I couldn’t end my live. So, I had to live it!

Me going to the northern, snowy mountains, was me living my life!

The big, grey, handsome, golden eyed wolf, and now this cage and future, as I’m already aware of what the dog owner will probably want to do with me…

I let out a laugh, knowing that me as a wolf laughing would probably sound funny, but I couldn’t help it…

After I finished laughing, I took a deep breath and then I felt better.

I’ll get out of this, I just have to be patient.

 

Just like losing faith in the humans, I lost faith of becoming a part of a pack. I got over that! I accepted it!

After I left running from the dog owner last time, I had run for days and found myself down the southern end of the continent…

Haha, I had run my feet to the core hey! Seriously, I was so hungry and thirsty, and I had wondered why! Thinking back though, I had been really scared…

Once there, I had felt reassured, and strangely, a wolf had invited me willingly into their pack. Having not much idea about packs and other Shifters, I joined. For the first time I could remember, I had found myself excited…Really excited!

I scoffed again at my young, naïve self. As the reason of being so easily accepted into a pack became clear to me after only one week, that the Shifter who invited me in, used me as a scape goat and even used my unknown background against me.

He really was nasty!

Till this day, I don’t know what happened to have them want to rip my head right off of my shoulders, but they had chased me for a good day, before I lost them.

I had traveled inland then, now knowing that I had traveled back towards the north, to try another pack and had been hoping for better results…

 

Only being fifteen, I was still three years away from being able to find my destined mate, but this second pack wanted me to mate with one of the elders.

The elder had lost his mate and hadn’t any pups. He didn’t seem to be nasty or anything, just older, probably, I don’t know fourty? Maybe? I wasn’t very good with age, so I could be right off the mark!

Anyway, he honestly did seem to like me and would smile a really happy smile…

The rest of the pack felt that it was a perfect idea. They were willing to wait for a time before the bond to happen…But I wasn’t…

I really felt like I had been absolutely wronged.

How could Humans and Shifters want to act the same way!? They just want to do whatever they wanted with me!

My life, I noticed then, hadn’t been set free since I was born!

Only having spent two weeks in that pack, I had been off again…

I was already having trouble with my human form, as I didn’t want to see myself in the mirror, and now they gave me more worries!

 

After traveling most of the way up the continent, traveling to the west, I had found another pack. I was really thinking against it though, pacing before the borders. Will they except me? Do I even want to stay?

Yeah, I took too long to come to a decision and they found me, taking me in some isolation area. This pack was more advanced than the others I had seen. They were not far away from Vanin, along the sea edge and on top of a cliff, and the entire pack seemed a lot different.

When I had been brought out before the Alpha in the last pack, I had been scared out of my wits!

Apparently, this was the real way to be initiated, but I hadn’t known!

So, this time, I wasn’t as scared, but…The Shifters around me all looked at me and my hair.

I really felt quite small, seeing all their gazes at me.

They asked me who I was and where I came from but what could I say?

I was just a nobody and couldn’t even remember my first pack!

All I said, was that I have been a lone wolf most of my life, having roamed most of the continent…

They seemed genuinely nice…But one stare freaked me right out!

Some old timer had a long white beard and looked at me full of contemplation.

I had only continued to bow my head after that, not liking that stare whatsoever.

 

After a short talk and most of them coming to a decision, I was not able to be initiated and had to leave and never return.

The only one who had expressed a strong desire to keep me there…Was that man with the beard…

A strange sensation overthrew me when I had looked at him and I didn’t like it! Not at all!

I felt like he was looking at what he owned, that I was his prize!

Leaving as soon as they let me, I ran off to the north, yet…

After I had left, the old man told them that they should look up the white hair and even try and get her to return.

He had only heard once, that someone with white hair, as a Shifter, could represent...Something...

I had been up to the most northern parts of the continent, yet, not even knowing in the slightest, that for some time they had searched for this white-haired Shifter.

Having found that one with white hair could be a curse or a blessing, they decided against letting me go…But hadn’t found me till this day.

Yet, the old one with a white beard, did not let go after all these years…After all, he was partially responsible of bringing her into this world…What a surprise that she could come of use now...

Sadly, I had no idea about these affairs at all…But luckily it hadn’t mattered, because obviously staying in the north, I hadn’t been found!

 

***

 

A day later, still inside my cage, I was still relatively calm and collected. I had done a few jokes in my head, to help me overcome the situation, so I was fine. A joke about a caged beast thinking that the beast was instead not caged, but free, because she was inside the cage…Yeah, sad joke.

I pretended then that my tail had a mind of its own and started talking to it…

Anyway…

They took the cage from around me, taking the chain that connected to my silver, neck collar and they made me walk with them outside.

This was it!

Taking the chance of them not even thinking of me running, while having silver around me, I pulled as hard as I could, by grabbing the chain in my mouth, and ran off.

The silver hurt me, but I just had no time to care about it while I raced out of the compound. My wolf even helped me jump over the high fence, that even hurt me. The chain connected to my neck had gotten caught and if Asuna hadn’t of helped me, I would have been hanging there…

But it didn’t matter, I continued to urge myself on!

Just another thing I’ve had to overcome uh!

I started to feel myself once again, as I went towards the bushland, about two hundred metres away from the fence line.

Walk in the park!

Run you idiot!

Dammit, I was running!

Bang!

I whimpered, as my body hurt.

Not thinking of the pain or what happened, I pushed myself to the limit and continued into the bush, through the bushland.

 

I ran and ran, knowing my limitation was reaching its maximum. I was running out of energy…

My wolf begged me to worry and stop, but I ran so fast that I reached my humble den in three hours.

It’s like I knew it was probably going to be my end.

There was a silver bullet, in my body…And a silver neck collar…Was there any hope?

I wasn’t sure how crucial it was but…When I made it to my den, I passed out straight away.

Feeling myself wander off into complete blackness, I still felt glad that I had made it back. If I was going to die, then here was a good place.

My den…My cold, cold den...

 

***

 

I have no idea how long I slept for…To be honest, I was surprised I was able to wake up, to a small regard.

I couldn’t even open my eyes, and the energy I had left wasn’t very large at all.

I felt hungry, cold and tired. I was having trouble breathing and knew that I couldn’t do anything to help myself.

If the bullet had gotten me elsewhere, I might be ok, but I couldn’t reach it before, so I wasn’t even going to attempt it a second time. Of course, if I had shifted to human it might have been a lot easier, but after being so exhausted and still hurting a tremendous amount, this idea had never come to me...I won't say anything about how smart I am, though...

Yeah…Guess I’m done for uh!?

My wolf whined, licking the invisible barrier. I knew she cared, she was just so…

Even though my eyes were closed, a tear escaped, and I told her that it was ok.

Honestly, she probably won’t feel any kind of pain…I’ll take it all…

I ignored her after that and fell back into slumber, the cold and blackness taking over me and feeling like this was the end.

 

***

 

A strange feeling woke me up. I felt like I was dreaming.

I was nice and warm, I was loved, and I wasn’t even as painful…

Knowing that my energy still lacked considerably, I still wanted to open my eyes to heaven! Maybe I was still in line…Or…

I wanted to smile, I wanted to laugh and jump up and down. Right now, I felt great!

I let out a grunt in my strange, sleepy state and suddenly felt someone pat me. Grunting again, I heard a sigh.

Uh? Who the hell is sighing?

Desperately, I wanted to open my eyes but instead found myself succumbing to darkness once again.

 

***

 

“Wake up!”

I shot up my head and frowned, I was in pain again.

Uh?

Suddenly, a whole heap of things hit me at once! The fragrance, the bond, my wolf, the pain, the warmth, the feeling of his hand…

I…Didn’t die? I'm still dreaming?

Laying back down, I look towards the pain and saw some blood gushing out of a small area.

“Ah…You moved too quickly.”

Widening my big, blue eyes, I turn to see a man turn into a wolf and start to lick my wound.

I had absolutely no idea on what to do…My stomach in full view…Not only that, someone was licking me!

I had put my paw up instinctively and it was just there, like the rest of my wolf body…

The big grey wolf was so big in my den that he hardly had an extra room to manoeuvre…Looking down at him lightly licking my wound, I suddenly felt warmth once again.

So…I really didn’t die…The grey wolf…

I watched him, as he continued to lick, until the wound had healed even more then what it was before it opened up.

My god…What the hell do I do?

 

When the big, grey wolf stopped licking, he looked at me.

We stared at each other for quite some time and those same things I felt that I wanted to get rid of, all became fresh within my mind.

My big, blue eyes watched him as he suddenly moved closer and put his head near mine.

I was so still, that I was uncomfortable. This was bursting my bubble, he was way too close!

I let out a growl and saw the big, grey wolf move back away from me. I noticed that he had licked my neck and I forgot I still had on the silver, neck collar.

He shifted, and I blanked out…

What the hell!

I put my head down to the ground, looking away from his naked human body and covered my eyes with my paws.

“…Does…Does this bother you?” I heard him ask me.

Yeah, I’m covering my eyes and looking away for no reason! What a douchebag!

“I’ll finish getting something that you can eat, I’ll be back in a bit.”

When I opened my eyes to see him shift and run off, I sighed heavily.

 

My wolf tried to explain to me how he came to be here. Something to do with sending a message over the link, while I was as weak as I was…She seemed to have some explanation of making the link bond stronger for a time, and I could only breath in and nod…

Ok…Whatever…

She only sighed at me, but this time she didn’t turn away. She sat their and I felt that she was pretty happy.

I wanted to ask about that happiness, but the man came back, carrying something…Still naked.

Covering my eyes again, I heard him put something down and then chuckle.

I frowned, wanting to bite him!

“Eat.” He said.

I opened blue eyes, seeing him sit there like it was no problem…Was there a problem? Could I seriously look at him like this?

Oh, and what a man he was uh! He looked strong and handsome, with a slight show of his abs and muscles...They weren’t as large as I’d seen it on another man or two…But hey, actually, I liked him like this, he was more handsome, like he didn't live to be strong. He was obviously more tanned in some areas then others, but it seemed like he didn't wear a shirt often. It was his higher legs that were slightly a different colour then the rest of him. I liked his nipples...I probably looked at them the longest, as for some reason, they intrigued me...Why?

His hair wasn't just one colour, it seemed...To be four colours, most of the top layer, showed black, then under that a dark grey, towards the back of his head, it was a light grey and white...Actually, he didn't look old because of his hair, he looked...Scary handsome...I found myself really strange that I seemed to like everything about his looks...Why?

 

When I was in packs, it wasn’t hard to sometimes come across someone naked, yet, people still mostly wore something…But all the years with the humans, they were always covered...Was I not to care? Or...

I was…Not used to this at all!

“Eat!”

Ahh!

I looked at the strange substance in front of me and blinked a few times…

“It will be easier to digest…Ah, are you going to shift?”

What!? No way!

To the best of my ability I tried to take in what was in front of me while still in wolf form.

“Why don’t you shift?” I heard him ask.

I huffed out a snort and then tried to eat whatever was left.

…I didn’t know how famished I was!

This guy is a life saver! Maybe he's that angel that helps people...

 

“Will you be strong enough to travel?” He asked.

I looked up at him…

Why? Wasn’t it fine here? Where would I go?

“I’ll take you to get that silver, neck collar off and make sure that you get better.” He said, after clearing his throat.

Yes! Go with him!

…I hadn’t seen Asuna so excited…Ever!

I felt too strange to give too much of a reaction, to indicate any kind of answer.

The man stood then and just started to pick me up.

I tried to move my feet, finding myself quite unwell, but honestly…What the hell!

When he started to leave the den, I saw that I was in a predicament.

I became stiff, as his heat flowed into me and his hands gave me electric little tingles…

After I heard him chuckle, I found that he was watching me.

I couldn’t look at him, when he had such an amazing smile!

I put my head down, attempting to hide myself. But I was just so big!

How can this man carry me!?

I felt him hold me tighter and put my head near his neck. Then he sighed and started to run…

I wasn’t scared, and…It wasn’t really uncomfortable either. He seemed to take particular care of where I was hurting. But what gave me the biggest shock, was being near his neck. A strange sense of security and warmth overwhelmed me, and I barely knew how to deal with it.

I wanted to growl and jump away…But found my eyes closing instead.

Ah…Whatever…I’ll wait until I’m stronger…Or...Maybe...This is all...A dream...