Rieka POV

 

I was on a really good spot! If I cared to look at the moon and howl, wouldn’t it be a pretty picture, uh!?

I didn’t care much for it though, howling at the moon was not what I was thinking!

Nope, no sorry, nope, not going there! I didn’t long for anything and…I wasn’t restless! Didn’t need guidance or fulfilment. So, why should I howl uh!? To be honest, for the most part, I hardly knew what those words meant, so, if I never knew, how would I want them? Although…One time, I howled because I longed for a blanket…Because I was cold…

This was a spot that looked over the area under the mountain. It was a snowy clearing, that had a forest of trees on either side. On one side, it led to the town Brolly and on the other side, it led to the town Vanin. I was pretty much right in the middle of them!

I put my paw up and pretended to squash the land in the distance, acting like I had the power to do anything!

But…One whole town was not even able to be seen from here, and the other town was small, considering how far away it was.

I’ve been here now for nearly five years, or is it five years? Honestly, I’ve lost track of time. I was free here and hardly burdened by anything, including things that breathed!

After I had turned eighteen, I had experienced a strange sensation twice, that makes me feel intolerably hot and yucky.

My wolf explained a few things that I didn’t quite understand, but what I got…If I could remember correctly, was that it was me going in heat to find a potential mate. Something along the lines of, I might not be good enough for my real, destined mate, but still good enough for any other bastard…Uh…Maybe that was wrong…I simply had to reword some things that she has said…And that was my rewording…That’s how I understood it to be…

 

But, otherwise, I would run around, play, pretend to be a dominant ruler and teach my subjects some neat tricks…

I was a princess, a queen, a king, a prince, then I was some unfortunate old maid and then a supreme teacher! I’d get excited over crickets and jump with the deer’s…Except they kept running away from me.

I’ve even attempted to climb trees, for something new and different, but that was extremely embarrassing…Words from Asuna herself.

I made pictures in the snow and dug out my own den.

I had searched my surroundings a few times but never marked them, only marking my own small den. Actually, I find it strange to lift my leg and pee on things…I mean, if I mark it mine…What if the plant dies? For some strange reason, even though I instinctively felt like I should mark things, I went against it. I didn’t want to not look after something accidently and have it die! What if an ant went into my territory! Mice! Nah, I forgo the extra responsibility entirely when I had thought through all this. So, I can not be blamed whatsoever about things not being looked after!

…Being right near the snow, I was glad that I was able to stay as a wolf all the time, as I was sure being in human form, I’d probably freeze to death…But that wasn’t the only reason. I still didn’t like the idea of having scars over my body, even if Asuna said that my scars would heal over time, I did not believe it.

 

There was a boundary to a pack that was towards Brolly, but I didn’t wander anywhere close to it. I had pretty much been shown…That I don’t belong to either wolf nor human…So, why go there and get into unnecessary trouble?

I was…Neither.

I was a human, who posed as a wolf, and did practically very little. Don’t get me wrong, this lone wolf…Human…Whatever I am, is strong and would kick some butt, but who would want to bother meeting up with either of them…What would be so good about that?

I honestly had no idea what I could gain from going into the human or wolf world. Here, I had whatever I wanted, and I was free…I mean, what’s better than that!? I was better company by far!

My time with the humans was terrible and my time with the packs was just as bad! The real question was…Which was worse!?

Haha!

I gave out a strange noise that would represent a wolf laughing. Yeah, I’m good, right here, this is my spot!

Twenty years, and I was…

A really overwhelming fragrance went through me, making me want to drool…

Uh?

I rapidly moved my head to the side, seeing a big, grey wolf looking at me with gorgeous golden eyes, and dam!

Surging in my head, my blood, my skin…Yeah, just about everywhere went nuts, even my wolf!

What the hell!

The invisible barrier I’d put my wolf in was being knocked against by her paws and head…

My wolf and I hadn’t gotten along very great in the last few years, so our link wasn’t strong at all, not that it ever was in the first place…We were practically two entities now…Strangely, she was going nuts, trying to make her presence stronger and stronger, wanting to break this wall between us.

Mate! she yelled at me, yet it only came out as a small whisper…

 

Blanking out, I stare at the big grey wolf and couldn’t deny what was going through me…It had to be that mate bond whatever thing…

I knew a bit about it, but…I mean, it was a reason I stayed away from others…I was better off not worrying about someone else, they didn’t fit in my leisurely lifestyle!

I had simply thought that I would never met him if I never see anyone…What the hell was he doing all the way up here? Seriously, there’s a huge continent, why come here where I am!?

Shaking my head rapidly, I stomped on my thoughts and ground, blanking myself out. I didn’t want to feel, I didn’t want to care…My heart is fine remaining a huge icicle…Lesser worries is good!

I yawned, ignoring the big, grey wolf’s presence and shook my head to keep awake.

Honestly, it wasn’t easy looking like this didn’t get to me. I was having a huge war inside of me, my eyes wanted to search his, my ears were waiting to hear his movement, my skin was growing slightly hot and I smelt the different, delicious aroma in the air.

A few scents were mixed in, like the grey wolf had been rolling around with his peers, but…I smelt a better fragrance…Like the blanket in the carer’s room at the orphanage, warm and cosy. Just smelling it made me shiver to the cold breeze the flowed over me. I wanted that blanket!

All the other things can go, but the blanket can stay! I could already see myself pulling it everywhere to keep me warm!

 

Meeting your destined mate was a lot different to what I had expected…I was originally thinking that I could just decline the bond and move on, you know…But, how the heck can I decline all these!

I pointed an invisible finger to each and every one of my crazy problems and told them, ‘No!’ But, it hardly helped at all!

By now, my head was strangely moved to the side, as I was conflicted, and I suddenly heard the big, grey wolf move a step closer.

Snapping my head up, I immediately growled my displeasure. I did the works! Besides my growl, I lowered my head and bared my teeth, showing every ounce of my decline!

The big, grey wolf stared at me, I guess I shocked him out of his wits!

But then he growled at me in return!

His growl was a bit scary, but he’s just one wolf, and I had gone against more then that. I had been a lone wolf for at least five years, buster! You don’t scare me!

But at the same time, I knew I felt a strange, different emotion run through me…

After a short moment of my wolf becoming extremely upset and even my own self going into an uncontrollable depressive state, I took that moment to run off!

 

As the strange feelings of disappointment ran through me, I waited.

I wasn’t stupid…He had declined our bond just as I did…

He seemed strong too, giving me more of a reason to not indulge in these absolutely stupid feelings.

My wolf was really upset and sad after the meeting and I let her be. Her hopes were dashed into the dirt and she laid there and closed her eyes, feeling very painful…How could I help her when I somewhat felt the same way?

To be honest, it scared the hell out of me. It was stronger than I thought, and I felt a strange sense of not caring about anything else. Just to be with him, would be enough to change my whole life…

Stop right there! This is ridiculous!

Our mate bond, whatever link, seemed to be faltering already, making me think that it might disappear over time.

So, was it me or is this broken as well? My link with my wolf hadn’t arrived until I was nine, I had been broken and abandoned when I was three…Why is it…That everything is broken!?

I gave out sad, little whimper.

Perhaps, for me, this was normal…

The broken, lone wolf…Stepping, on snow…Ready to sleep.

I crawled into my home-made den, in amongst trees and snow, and laid down.

Just…Continue.

I was so cold, wrapping my tail around me and curling up into a big, white, fluffy ball…So cold.

Yet…I still felt that weak link between the so-called mate and I…I guess I still wanted that blanket…