Bonding

 

Chapter 16: Heating Back Up

 

Standing and holding onto the back of my computer chair while I watched Brittany work on my computer, I saw her with the video she had extracted from her suits. It surprised me at first. Apparently there was a camera or something like one in the buttons on the coat. It made me wonder if that meant there was a chip or circuit board hidden within the button.

Likely not. I had a feeling it was more minuscule, like the tiny things that monitored our temperature. That had brought an interesting question to mind. I recalled Shelly telling me no one was watching us through the suits, but this proved otherwise.

"Brittany? I'm a little confused." She paused cycling through the frames of me trying on one suit after another. She curiously glanced over her shoulder at me and smiled.

"What's on your mind?" The smile on her face made me smile back in return before I continued.

"Mom told me about how," I gestured down at myself in the current suit, "These monitor our temperature. She told me no one was looking at us." She rolled her eyes.

"I suppose that is true. It's not like we are being watched Live. They are recordings. Remember I said they can be used to prevent crimes?" I nodded. "These suits I have, they're rentals. A lot of them are because of how expensive they are. Which means, when they are brought back to any shop, these little buggers tell us everything." She taps on one of the buttons on her clothes. That still feels incredibly wrong. “Really handy when someone damages my suits and tries denying it.”

"Who's allowed to watch?"

"Not me, but I never let that stop me." She looked back at my PC's monitor and unpaused. I just shook my head a little. Hearing she did something that wasn't regularly done didn't surprise me. "I would say, only those who are permitted. There are no agencies or departments that have the Official Okay to do that. Watching these would have to be granted by a post."

"A post?" I tried to figure that term out. ’Did she mean it like a job position?’

"It's a security detail in the military branch. These suits were originally designed as fatigues and experimented with our troops." That made a whole lot of sense. I think many things we took for granted back on my world was first tested as a potential project in our nation’s army.

That gave me an idea. "Could you make fatigues?"

"As a suit?" Her head was bobbing side-to-side while she thought about my idea. "I don't see why not, but why stop there? I could use the colors of the rainbow and make a maelstrom of patterns."

"Like tie-dye?"

"Huh?" Brittany glanced at me again. "What was that?"

"Tie-dye." She shook her head. That made me wonder if it had been discovered here. ’Surely it had, but maybe it was given a different name?’"Um, when you -- a shirt, tied up in a knot, is dipped into a -- I'm not really sure how to do it. It's got a lot of colors on it and has a circular or spiral pattern when you unknot the shirt."

"That sounds wicked." She nodded and returned to the monitor. "I'll look into that. Maybe if you remember what the stuff is or I find out, I'll hang up some tests out front." A tad of happiness fluttered in me. Maybe I cheated a little and brought something of my world into this one, but it was a beautiful piece and Brittany liked the idea.

Colored clothes reminded me of the photos on the computer. "Hey Brittany, when you have a moment, could you check out something on this?"

With a pause on the video, she nodded. "What am I looking at?"

"There are photo's of -- well, me before this." I had been about to point up at my face, but Brittany was facing the monitor now. I watched as she began to open previously browsed folders for the photos I was talking about.

"Okay. Which ones do you want me to look at?" I pointed at the one where Kim was leaning against the fence. My curiosity about the photographer was still there.

"Do you know who took that photo?" I leaned over a little further, taking in the details of Kim on the screen while my eyes strayed to the background of that mansion.

"Uh, this photo?" She shook her head. "That's not Kim." In surprise, I turned and looked away from the screen to face Brittany. She kept looking at the photo.

"It's not?"

"That's an old photo of Mom." Looking back at the photo, I could see how I would’ve easily have made that mistake, but that made me wonder how many of these photos are of who here. ’How do I tell Shelly, Brittany, and Kim apart?’ Now that I thought about it, I probably still didn’t know how Kim appeared before the lightning strike.

"I can't tell any of you apart." For a second, Brittany turned to just look at me. I glanced at her for another second before actually facing her. "What?"

"I thought -- no." She shook her head. "I’m sorry, I thought you actually found a photo of how you looked before. These school photos... but all the ones with -- where? Where am --" Something was wrong with her. As she returned to speed through the gallery of what I mistook for Kim's photos, I saw the signs of her breathing harder, upset, and her features more strained like she had seen something disturbing. She stopped browsing through Kim's computer and stared at down at the keyboard. Something was whirring in her head.

"Brittany?" I backed up a bit to give her some room. ’Did I say something to piss her off? What was she like angry? Do I really want to find out?’I had to find out at least what was wrong. "What did I do?"

“Not you. Nothing’s wrong with you.” Something in her tone of voice made me disbelieve that. I heard her take in a shuddering breath and watched as she leaned her head back to look up at the ceiling. "I'm sorry. I'll see you a little later." The chair was pushed back and she stood up. Quickly, she was gathering the clothes on my bed and placing them without care into the bag.

I had no idea what was going on. Either I missed something big or she flipped her wig. ’What should I do?’ Figure out what happened would be a good start.

’Was she like this because I mistook Mom for Kim? Why?’ I tried to think of something that could have been the reason, but my mind was a blank. ’Maybe there were photos missing?’ It could have been pictures of us. ’Was there some sentimental ones gone from Kim's PC?’ I could’ve guessed that Kim and her might have been lovers too, like Greg. ’Were those moments lost?’ I couldn’t believe that if Brittany had her own computer and these suits recorded practically everything in our lives.

I had to find out what happened.

Before she could leave the room, I dashed to do the door to block it, but crashed my shoulder into the door in my stumble. I leaned into it for support and realized I managed to block it all the same as planned.

"Brittany. Tell me what I did so I know what to be sorry for." She stared at me and I could tell she was angrily seething, ready to spill something scathing hot out. About what, I didn't know.

We kept quiet for a minute or two before she breathed out more slowly and bowed her head. The bag was dropped on the floor. Her eyes closed and she had shaken her head.

"Brittany? Please tell me?" After I pleaded, I finally saw how her lips were trembling. "Please, I'm sorry, but I don't know what I did." I looked at the computer. "Was it because I didn't know that was Mom?"

Through a hoarse voice, I heard her speak without facing me. "How old do you think I am?" Taking a moment to appraise her, I had originally guessed she was in her twenties since she had not moved out of the house.

"Twenty-five?" I hoped that was a bit more on the mark.

"Add ten to that." ’Thirty-five!?’ That did make me wonder how old Shelly was. Wait, she'd been living with her parents that long... ’What the Hell, why am I judging her for that?’ I'd been doing the same with Mom for nearly the same amount of years. Brittany had Chase beat by two years, but in comparison, she's doing a Hell of a lot better making a living for herself than I was in my former life.

That didn't explain why she was upset. "Thirty-five. What does your age have to do with this now?" She lifted her gaze to me.

"How old are you?" Everyone keeps saying Eighteen.

I shrugged, "Eighteen?"

"How old is Greg." He's the same age.

"Eighteen." I took a moment to think. "I've been meaning to ask. Are we twins? Fraternal, but still -- I mean, you don't have to answer that now." I don't know why I was being casual with her. Whatever was going on right now was more important than my stupid questions.

She shook her head. "No. You're not twins." I watched her nod and approach me. "You figured that out. Figure out the rest. Let me out." ’What was that about?’ I opened my mouth to ask, but she yelled. "Let me OUT!"

I took a second and then moved out of the way. She wasn't looking at me. Her crystal blue eyes had welled up with tears, about to cry. At the very instant I was out of her way, she rushed past me, unlocked and open the door, and stormed straight out of my room. Looking out, I saw she didn't go to her room.

Following after her, I wanted to know what was going on. I nearly ran into Greg as he came out of his room.

"What's -- what happened?" I shook my head, but didn't stand around to try and explain. I continued after Brittany and heard the heavier footfalls tailed right behind me. "Brittany!" I flinched when he yelled over my head.

When we reached the kitchen and saw she was about to head out, Greg passed me. He nearly plowed right into her as he shot his hand out to slam the back door shut. I stood back and watched, not sure what to do.

"What's wrong?" Greg leaned down to get a look at her. As she stood still, I saw she was still facing the door, not acknowledging Greg at all. He pressed his face against the door to look at her, and then followed her face when she tried looking away. He kept trying to get her to look at him. "Tell me? What happened?"

She shook her head and I heard her shuddering a softly hummed noise. She was crying.

I've only seen someone like this once. Mom was so upset about Dad getting kicked out of the house, even though she was the one who did the kicking, she wouldn't tell me why she was upset. Just, she became this silent person. Anything afterwards, no matter what it was, she would bottle the turmoil up and leave. I had guessed to let it all out someplace where I wouldn't be witness to it.

I had wondered, if some of my own faults as Chase would have not existed if Mom had opened up. In our own ways, we were both shut-ins. Not anymore. Now that I think about who I was as Chase and was now, I wasn't caring about many things back then. I didn't care where Mom went or did to get whatever I had done off her chest.

"I'm not that person anymore." Looking at Brittany, I couldn't hold it in any longer. Immediately, I went to the both of them at the door and grabbed to pull Brittany to me.

For a few seconds, she turned and seemed about to struggle, but I grabbed her around the waist until I could manage hugging and holding her. She’d have to drag me out the door if she still intended to leave. I kinda hoped Greg might join in and keep her anchored for good.

I looked up and saw that Greg gave me a grin, but he turned to lay an arm around the back of Brittany's shoulder to weigh her down to the floor as he started to squat. I supposed that was another way to anchor her. She was being pushed down, and I had to adjust my hug until she was facing me at my level. We all were huddled down on the floor. We three siblings stared at each other in the odd circle. Me looking kinda up, Brittany keeping her gaze down on the floor, and Greg still trying to catch our sister's attention.

It might’ve been a good idea if I could’ve had a chance to tell Greg what we had been doing. He might’ve figure out what was wrong with Brittany or what I did to upset her. I decided not to say anything about it now. Good idea or not, it was better to have Brittany tell us on her own. I needed her to let it out here and not someplace else. Especially when I didn’t know and could accidentally set her off again.

She still faced the floor to try keeping us from seeing her cry. I tightly shut my eyes as another idea popped in my head. Greg wasn't doing it, as I knew he would be more fitting for the role, but I know this would shock her out of this funk. Taking in a deep breath, holding it, and blowing it slowly out before I start feeling dizzy, I let go of her and stood up to observe Brittany avoiding Greg.

While he tried to get her looking his way, I watched for my chance to grab her attention, literally. Grabbing her cheeks to hold her steady, closed my eyes tightly shut, and went in for the plunge. I full on kissed my sister.

Gradually, when I heard no protest or felt any fighting, I peeked from one open eye, then the other, opening them up to see her wide open eyes staring right back at me. I had to push this further. Letting go of her cheeks, I wrapped my arms around and slipped behind the long flowing black hair, over her shoulders, brushing off Greg’s arm, hooked the back of neck, and then locked my arms while we remained liplocked. Our kiss had been pulled together more tightly and I parted my lips just a bit.

If I wasn't right about Kim and her being lovers, this was going to end awkwardly… more awkwardly than it already was for me.

I could hear her sniffle harder and feared she was about to struggle again, but she didn't. Those tearful and wide eyes had softened. Then her lips responded with a little movement over mine. Right now, I tried my best not to think about our blood relation. It was a strange one, considering I wasn’t truly Kim, but this was once her body. Our sisterly blood would be the same.

I couldn't help it. I thought about us being related. Still, I tried to be a fucked up incestuous sister for her. Just for this moment she really needed me to be one.

When the strain left her face, I began to relax my arms around her and had lightly brought my lips away from her's. I wanted to ask her if she felt better. Instead, she embraced me tightly and pulled me straight back into that kiss. ’What now?’ At least this wasn't with Greg. I shuddered in revulsion at the thought of kissing him like this.

There was an amused look in her eyes at my shudder. Behind me, I felt her hand rubbing through the coat I had on until she ran up to the back of my neck. She pushed her lips harder onto mine while, kept me still with the back of my head held, and I noted the sensation of both our lips parting. I felt the slip of her tongue push inside.

Wine. I remember that taste. ’Did she drink that regularly?’ Might’ve explained why she was so giddy almost all the time. ’Was she an alcoholic?’That thought had not occurred to me before, but I would certainly ask about that after this. Maybe ask Greg or Shelly, not her. I don't want to risk bringing her mood down again… ’Maybe she’s bipolar like Gregory?’

Well, I wasn’t going to be asking anything while being tongue-tied.

With a light lick, Brittany traced her tongue up my lips as we broke our kiss. She smiled, our faces close enough to return to kissing again if she chose to. Her eyes closed and I felt her nuzzle her cheek along my scarred one.

"Thank you." This was a really weird and wrong way to get my sis to calm down.

I was going to reply, but I still had to catch my breath after that breathtaking episode between us sisters. So I nodded softly, rubbing her cheek as gently as I could, and hugged her back just as tightly around her shoulders. A sigh escaped her and that hand in the back of my head began to stroke up, combing fingers through my short hair, and petting me.

"Unless you want to, I think it is best that Greg takes over from here." I felt myself pinkening with every word she had said because I knew what she meant by that. ’If they were going to be doing that, was there a way I could leave the house so I wouldn't hear them?’ "Which is it going to be?"

Recovering my breath quickly after being asked that, I told her. "He's all yours." That caused a bark of laughter from Greg. Brittany pulled back to look between the both of us.

"I wouldn't mind bringing two beauties in bed with me." My pink face had escalated to red hot and I shook my head. I heard him chuckle. "Then, you okay now Brit?"

Her eyes looked away from me to him, then glanced at me. "I'm not. It's getting old." I felt her shoulders softly shrug my arms up and off. "I'll get over it like -- I guess this isn't usual." A grin popped up on her face and she quickly gave me a peck. "Thanks again."

I wanted to know what happened back there, but it looked best to drop it. The two would do their own thing and I had best hide someplace until that blows over.

"Any place I can go?" Her brow quirked up at me. "I'm sorry, but I don't really feel comfortable hearing you two."

Greg spoke up. "Ah, um... basement would drown us out, but you'd still hear -- yaknow. The floor does creek with our combined weight." My stomach did a flip imagining that sound.

"Do you trust me?" I blinked and stared in confusion at Brittany.

"So far, so good. Why?" Not really sure what she had in mind, but if it started with trust being an issue, I was a little worried.

She took a breather, which was a red flag for me, and said, "You two were in love once --"

"NO!" I broke away from the huddle on that note.

"He won't try anything. Not after what I did." That caused me to pause. ’She told me they only talked, but what else did she do?’ My eyes drifted down to her battered knuckles in wonder.

"Wait, you visited Jeremy?" I saw Brittany cringe and slowly nod to Greg. "Why?" Instinctively, I pulled my arms around myself to be a little smaller.

"Could we talk about this a little later?" That coming from her only spoke of how she wanted the mood to not be spoiled too. She looked back at me. "He won't do anything." I shook my head.

"I'd rather stand outside and wait for one of you to get me." She sighed and nodded.

"Eventually, you will have to see him again. The longer you two stay apart, the harder it's going to be when that happens." I began to nibble on my lower lip as she made that point. It was like confronting a fear. The more I thought about it rather than facing it, the worse I imagined the whole scenario.

Clenching my eyes shut and taking a really big breath, I nodded. "Fine. Okay." I opened my eyes back up. "I trust you." I felt like I caved too easily, but I had to take in mind how bad she was a minute or so ago. I was sure she needed my trust in her more now than I needed it.

"I'll give him a call and you can either keep wearing the suit or find something else in your room to wear in the meantime." I had forgotten what I was wearing until then. Honestly, I was going to keep wearing this because my alternative was PJs. No idea where Kim's clothes were hidden yet.

We all got up from the floor and gave each other one more hug before Greg decided to yank Brittany away from me. She yelped, laughed, and then gave me a farewell wave.

"I'll call before this big guy does anything." I slowly nodded and went to sit down in one of the kitchen's chairs. I watched them disappear into the living room and heard the faded sound of the door shutting.

It had been only a day. One day. I was going to be willingly returning to the man and place that I had suffered. At least, I thought I would be going to his place. ’Maybe he would do a car ride around the city and call it a night when Brittany texted when it was safe for me to return home?’That sounded a lot better than hanging out at his house.

There was some kind of knot lodged in my throat and a severe swollen pressure built up in my chest when thinking about this. My chest felt worse, and it was growing heavier. Anxiety that made breathing difficult. In my stomach, it didn't feel all that great either. I was afraid how this was going to go.

I needed to calm down. Settling in a chair with a glass of something to drink would be a good start.

Remembering where the glasses were, I got up to grab one. I didn't want water. Every time I drank water, I got drowsy and conked out.

The fridge was searched, which contained plenty of ingredients for cooking, but not fluids. I checked the freezer just in case if the family froze their juice. All I would need to do was melt the juice into a glass.

There was the pitcher of wine. If it was frozen… actually, I didn’t think alcohol froze, but the juicy ingredient in it might’ve. I remember it didn’t affect me at all when I drank it yesterday. Should be safe to drink. “One way to find out.” I took it out and removed the lid. 

It was clear. This wasn't the wine from yesterday, but it sloshed around like a liquid. It looked like water, but certainly couldn't be or it would have been frozen solid. One tiny sip from the pitcher and I knew it had alcohol in it. A lot… a Hell of a lot.

A shiver ran through me at the taste. It was something I would definitely describe as, 'Ick,' but it might get better. ’I mean, wasn't that how it worked? The more drank, the better the taste got, right?’

’Did I want to be drinking this before going with Jeremy?’ The last time I had drank something… we drank something and I was raped. There was a difference between then and now, though. Back then, I was tied to a bed, in his house, after having experienced a painfully physical and emotional torture, and I wasn't aware of what he could be capable of. Now I knew better and had Brittany's trust in him not doing anything. Plus I had both a ferocious big sister and a still furious big brother knowing where I’d be if something happened.

’Was it worth the risk though?’ Not just drinking being the problem, but being with Jeremy over my issue with hearing my brother and sister getting it on. ’I'd feel disgusted, but would that really be worse than how I'd feel with Jeremy?’

It was too late now. In the spur of the moment back there, I had made the decision. A mistake, maybe. I had Brittany’s well being in mind back then. “Right. I didn’t want to see her crying like… like when this all started.”

The freezing pitcher was held and set on the table, the glass beside it. Pouring the glass, I saw how the liquid was pure and clean. It actually appeared more pristine than any water I've seen.

Before I did anything, I remembered that night I first came here. The lightning strike. ’Or were there more than one strikes? Was that possible?’ I clearly remembered more than one clash of thunder, but that wasn’t what disturbed me about that night. It was a beautiful stranger who looked down at me with so much concern and worry before she screamed at what she saw. Me... 

Leaving the full glass and pitcher sitting at the table alone, I walked out of the kitchen. I didn’t want to go through with this and I had to tell Brittany not to contact Jeremy. I just kept thinking about what would happen if I was hurt again. ’Would I see Brittany like that again?’

The moment I was in the living room and near the doorway to the hall, I heard them. I was in midstep when I completely froze and listened to my brother and sister. They weren’t talking, but I heard their voices. They were telling me exactly what they were doing and how much those two were deeply involved.

I backed up.

After I heard enough to change my mind again, I returned to the kitchen. I sat back down at the table and lowered my head. The glass had already started forming a film of condensation. Laying my arms and crossing them on the table, I laid my cheek down and watched the condensation collect enough on one spot before it welled into a droplet. The weight of it had caused the droplet to slip down the side and leave a clear trail behind before settling on the table.

Picking the glass up, I wiped the water off the table and sat up straight. I hesitated placing the glass back on the table. Taking a deep breath, then exhaling, I decided to drink and get my mind off of… off of everything. The taste was strong with just a sip. I felt the icy-fire wash the lump in my throat down and cool whatever was swelling in my chest. ’Would drinking this help that? Would my anxiety go away or make things worse?’ I was certainly going to get a buzz off of this stuff. I thought about finding out how I felt after I drank enough. ’Who knows, maybe I could relate with Brittany then?’ I sighed and decided that I might as well find out personally.

I gulped down a good bit of that stuff and shuddered at the taste. It left my tongue and gums numb. Down my throat felt as if I had drank something hot enough to burn the nerves off, but chilled down to the frozen core of my stomach. The drink hit bottom and I felt the fiery-snowball melt and burn me up. With that first one, I took a second since I figured with a numb tongue I wouldn't taste anything nasty anymore. Nope. I could still taste it.

"What the fuck am I doing?" The glass and pitcher were pushed away from me on the table. I couldn't take this. I knew I should be laying trust on Brittany, but she got what she wanted. An 'okay' from me so she could get fucked. All I needed to do was disappear for a little while and come back.

’If I ran out, would Jeremy call them up and ask where I am at?’

This was a huge mistake. "I'm fucking stupid. I'm fucking stupid." Sitting upright, I faced the ceiling and began to feel the cool streaks of tears run down my cheeks. I was scared. I knew that without a doubt. It wouldn't matter how much my family told me not to worry, I couldn't stop being afraid of what would happen to me and how everyone would respond. Despite my intentions to change, I was burdening everybody.

I shook my head and wondered why Brittany ever suggested I go with him. It had been one day! Not even a whole entire day. What he did to me wasn't just fresh in my mind, but physically inside me too. ’If I wasn't such a recluse in my previous life, maybe I wouldn't be such a pushover in this life?’

"Fuck it." I grabbed the glass and poured more. If I was going to endure this bad trip, at least I'd literally be out of my mind while doing so.

Then I saw the beam of light cross the outdoor window. I gulped down another glass and waited. I didn't bother to get up. Leaning gently down on the table, I laid my head into the crook of my elbow and watched the door.

If he was coming to get me, then, "Come and get me." I wiped at my face to clear the tears off before he saw me.

After a little while, the beams of light flickered and a shadowy figure appeared at the door’s window. There was a soft knock. A minute went by and another knock before I saw that red headed bastard look through the window.

The door opened...