Instinct

 

Chapter 18: Negotiating for Peace

 

A dizzying flurry of sensations had me half awake. With my eyes partly open, I saw the specks of dancing stars and the blurry shroud of sleep blind my vision in the dark. ’When did the lights go out?’ I swallowed, and again I swallowed to take care of the dryness I felt in my mouth. To at least moisten my lips, I licked them. I had a serious case of cottonmouth.

Then I nibbled on my bottom lip. A spike of unbearable heat shot through me like a volcanic eruption. Immediately, I opened my eyes wider to see what just happened.

Jeremy was still laid like he was and his arms were protectively around me. He wasn't touching me like I had thought a moment ago. Yet I felt the sensation of… I felt pleasure ripple through me. There was a hotness between my legs that I didn't understand. ’If it wasn't from him, then what did I just feel?’

I tested to feel if there was anything between my legs by squeezing them together. The one leg was over his hip. ’When did I do that?’ I remembered wanting to put something between my legs, as Brittany suggested, but I believed I fell asleep before I could. I reached a hand down and touched his bare hip. ’Boxers? Where art thou?’ Then I lowered my hand further down his hip, running my hand and wedging it in between us with tips of my nails until I felt where we were joined together. Anger boiled up in me.

Looking up from his chest, I tried to see if I could catch those green eyes staring back at me. He appeared to still be asleep and his breathing was rhythmic to the slow note of slumber. ’Was he doing this in his sleep? How was that possible?’ I didn't believe it.

Removing my hand from between us, I gave his side a shove. "Wake up." I waited a moment before I shoved him again. "Jeremy, wake up."

The only sign I saw of him waking up was when his throat constricted in a swallow. Not opening his eyes, he replied. "Yes?"

I shut my eyes, wondering how I should proceed. ’If I simply told him, 'Hey, you're fucking me here,' how would that go? Would he smile and finish the job?’ I thought about it and had a way to speak with him.

"Honesty. You wanted me to trust you." That opened his eyes. When he moved a little, I guessed to just stretch out, his eyes popped wide open and he one-armed hugged me tighter against him. The other hand had dropped down my figure to feel around. His hand stroked down the curve of my back until I felt it grasp a hold of one of my pert and now tensing up cheeks. I tensed up entirely in irritation. "Jeremy, you go any further and I'll scream."

He shook his head. "You won't." I narrowed my eyes at him.

"I'm not lying."

"You won't because I didn't do this. You did." I simply laughed at his stupid joke.

"Get away from me." It felt like his hand was kneading into the pert flesh behind me. "Stop that."

He was quiet for a few seconds before he sighed and talked. "I know you will think I broke the agreement, but I'll still call you by that given name. You may pick another, it won't matter. I've found something to call you. Beryl." I just sighed, stopped looking at him, and I lowered my gaze down to see he still held and molested my ass.

"Please stop." His hand left, but only so he could be settled with a grip on my hip. He pulled me up a little, repositioned me better against him, and all the while I couldn't keep myself from gasping as he fully entered. I wanted to tell him again to stop, but when he dragged that large slab of meat almost out of me, I shuddered loudly.

All I felt now was the bald end of his shaft in me. The burning sensation within me felt worse when he left. Like a fresh fire had been relit, but when he was fully lodged back inside me, the flame settled. I lifted my gaze again and waited to see... and feel what he would do next. He was looking back at me and I guessed he might have been thinking the same thing. ’What would we do?’

Frowning, I pressed my face down into his chest to keep from looking at him any longer. “Jeremy?”

“Yes?”

“I hate you.” Then I did something I knew I'd regret. The leg I had draped over his hip, I hooked it around his firm buttocks and pulled and trapped him in me. I gave myself a moment before speaking again. "Don't move. Just stay like this."

“May I see you?” I pushed my forehead firmly against his chest in response to that. “Beryl… please?”

Very carefully, so I wouldn’t become dizzy again, I shook my head against his bare body. I hated him right now more than ever because I loathed what I had done. I felt how I fully sheathed him inside me. A minute passed before I felt him pull against my leg. In response to him disobeying me, I tried tightened my leg lock around him. "Don't… don’t move." He was much stronger and pulled back enough to have room to thrust inside once more.

A very familiar and gradual rhythm followed. As before, I remembered how to deal with the size of his tool by relaxing. Despite relaxing, our breathing labored harder and faster the longer we went on. 

I knew I couldn't trust him. I hated him too. And that... what he was doing to me right now, that told me he'd never fully listen to me. ’Why then did I feel incapable without him? That I needed him to be together with me? Was it because he was my first? Regardless of it being forced, was that it? How would I know?’ Asking him, or perhaps anyone, would only have brought me the response that what we were doing was natural. What I felt was expected.

As to the question of how natural this was, that did come to my mind and what I felt wasn't in question anymore. I enjoyed it. His powerful arms secured in holding me against him while I had my leg wrapped around and entrapped him, it was pleasing me. I delighted in the motion of his solid body convulsing in pleasure as he pressed against mine in a fluid rocking each time filled me. Our bodies tensed, tightly held, and bound in a tangled lock of arms and legs to prevent either of us from parting away.

Fully feeling the wave of intense bliss crashing against me, I bit down on my bottom lip and muffled my scream. The man in me stopped to only hold me as he found his own release. Relaxed, I let my leg just hang over his hip limply. Behind me, I felt his arm go slack and curl up with his hand roaming, running and rubbing a path across the slender length of my entire back. It felt unfair. He was touching me and I did nothing. I wanted to feel his chest, that tapering waistline with the packed muscle in his stomach... and down. Hell, even up his body, I wished to feel his jaw and around the back of his head to know what that red hair felt like...

I hated him. I had to remember that. My eyes squeezed shut at that memory. All I required was sleep. Tired, that was what I was. I wasn’t thinking straight at all.

Really, I did feel tired. Easing up, keeping my eyes shut, I felt myself drift. I don't know how long I experienced him giving me that soothing back-rub, but that was the last thing I remembered before falling asleep once more...

 

---

 

I let out a grunt and partially woke up. Not bothering to really wake, I felt what was the culprit and gripped my leg around him again. I held on until I was more aware of what I was doing. Then I couldn't believe I was helping him fuck me again. I just shook my head before resting it against the span of his broad chest again.

My blurry vision caught the basement was brighter. ’I suppose that meant it was morning?’ I didn't care. With a moan slipping out of me, I quickly turned to face and bury my open mouth onto his chest to muffle myself. He had sped up, that was why I made that noise. At least this time he couldn't blame me for starting it. Still, I felt disbelief about the first time I woke up. I couldn’t believe I was the one who removed his boxers... and trapped him in me.

Not able to stand this any longer, I did something different. If he was going to enjoy this, I wanted more out of it. Pulling my face from his chest a little, I searched for the rogue crest of his nipples before I took a bite. I heard him inhale sharply through his teeth and hiss the rest of his breath out as I kept latched for a second. Then I released, wondering what I had just done.

Lowering my gaze, I looked at what I had bitten. As I looked, I felt him go faster, deeper, and more determined with his movements when I had caught him unaware. I didn't want to repeat what I had done, but I wanted him to continue at that pace. Maybe even a bit rougher...

I slipped up his body to nuzzle his neck and shoulder. His body adjusted, positioning himself and me to keep going at his incredible pace. On the bare ball of his muscled shoulder, I bit him again. Just to test, and I had felt the result more than satisfying. Shutting my eyes, I kissed and played at biting him while my arms found their way around and slipped behind to his back to lightly rake my nails across in response to his intensifying purpose in having me. It would be awhile until I realized the kind of sounds I was making and how loudly.

Eventually he had rolled over on top of me and I found myself trapped beneath him. I had tried to keep facing his shoulder, but he placed himself so well in my way that I had found my lips in a kiss hard enough to leave me bruised. At least the kiss silenced me. Open, welcomed, I accepted that savage passion more willingly so long that he could continue to tame that flame in me.

It was unbelievable how much longer it took until he delivered the final plow and brought me to a muffling climatic cry between our lips. Sliding my legs down, I wrapped them around his thighs and dug my heels in to keep this pleasant sensation from leaving me. I don't know what it was, but nothing compared. It didn't matter if he continued to move or not, it was this exact moment that always brought a melodious score from heaven humming through me. Like my spirit was lifted and I absolutely felt whole in the moment he shuddered with me.

Euphoria.

As much that I wanted to keep him like this, when he relaxed, he was heavy. Our kiss broke for us to breathe and for me to tell him, "Get off me."

He lightly laughed and rolled onto his side, which dragged my legs with him for a moment until I let go. I hissed as I felt his withdraw. Shuddering a breath, I felt the need to press my hand down there. Then I felt how much of a mess I was.

"I need a towel -- no, I'm going to shower." I shook my head in disbelief at what I’d done and began to get out of this bed. I was coming to my senses. "Go. Just go." Even though I knew what happened, I still felt he took advantage of me the whole night. ’Could I blame being drunk or should I simply rest the case that this was entirely my fault?’ I was the one who decided to drink, so either way, this was my fault.

Looking at him as I slipped out of bed, I saw he was watching me and remaining in bed. I guessed he was either going to take a moment longer before leaving or he wasn't going to listen to me. Shaking my head, I looked to find that shirt, the only thing last night I personally removed, for me to go upstairs without flashing too much of myself in front of anyone.

"Beryl, come here." I paused my search and looked over my shoulder at him. He propped himself up on his elbows and waved for me to come over. One glance around the basement, I noted where the shirt was, but I obediently walked back to him. He waved me over one more time before he reached up and pulled me down to lean over.

He kissed me. I didn't kiss him back until his hand ran up behind my neck and stroked the hairs on my head. It was stuff like this I wanted to shake off, but felt better, good. It really made me feel great. Not pleasure, but like the affection I would’ve received from someone who I absolutely knew cared about me.

The noise of the blanket shifting told me he opened it. His other hand went around me and I was urged with a tug to come back into bed with him. I did and he rolled onto his back with me laying on top of him. I felt him cover us back up.

"Today. Just today, please let us find peace with each other?" ’Did he mean I should forget what he did?’ I shut my eyes and buried my face into his neck. I wondered if I could really do that. Forget. Then again, he told me yesterday to remember. That it taught me a lesson. ’Then, what did he mean now by finding peace?’

"How?"

"Just today. After that, remember everything. What all I've done to you and more." He laid a kiss next to my forehead and whispered, "I hope you will remember and experience more things we could do with each other than against one another."

"I need a shower." I felt his hand go down and around the swell of my rear.

"Feels clean." Glaring up at him, the corner of his lip curled into a smirk. He was back to being stoic and that would be the closest to a smile until something truly made him happy. Shutting my eyes, I laid my head back down on him.

"What now?"

"Just relax. If you want to talk, we can. If you're still tired, sleep. Rest. I just want us to be together today." I wondered why. ’Was it because of what we did through the night and he was simply tired? Or was it due to how he felt about our first encounter that he was giving me the reigns how we spent the day together?’

There was something I wanted to talk with him about. "Brittany told me that Dad will enforce me to marry you."

"He would. Sherry would have, eventually. Two weeks aside to decide." I would have shaken my head at that, but I found the spot I laid on too warm and comfy to disturb.

"I wouldn't have changed my mind, even if she gave me two months or years." I felt and heard the rumble of his laughter within his chest.

"That wasn't the point." I shrugged.

"Was she delaying the inevitable, then?"

"No. Likely, she wanted to wait for proof." That did make me laugh a little.

"That you actually meant your word?" His hand, I felt it lay over my head and ear to idly stroke in gentle brushes. He was quiet. "Jeremy?"

"You could say that. I meant it. I will make this right, no matter what." As much as I didn't want to move and disturb this comfort, I looked up at him.

"You want to marry me?" He looked down and gave me that straight lipped smile. I breathed him in and let out a sorrowful sigh. "I would do it, but for them. Brittany said we would do something called a separated marriage."

He gave a little nod, "We would visit each other, but not live with one another."

"You want to marry me, but you're okay with that?"

"I'll be honest. No. I'm not satisfied being denied the right of opportunity with my wife."

"Then what? If you're not okay with it --"

"I would make it right. That doesn't mean I have to like it." Staring at him, I understood the deal he was offering. Now I also knew why he was trying to make amends with me. He wanted me to change my mind.

Shutting my eyes, I laid my head back down on him and he resumed to brush the short hairs on my head with gentle fingers. The same fingers that had crushed my hands and done more. He was capable of being both brutal and gentle.

Today. Just today, I'll lay with him and find out how much peace could be had between us...