“Please, Lord. Please bless me with your noble seed.” begged Ceday

You’ve got to be fucking kidding me… What the fuck… WHAT THE FUCK!?

“Mm, much better. Come to me.” Roland, the lord, let out a pervy chuckle.

I slowly close the door to make no noise and rest my back on it.

Idiot! Why would there be a library in such a small, poor town?

I smacked myself on the side of my head.

Why is she doing so much for me… Why would she do this to Otis? Fuck…

I covered my face with my hands.

Why would she do this… and of all people… why her? 

A thought struck my head, and I dropped my hands, and gazed at the ceiling.

Out of all the townspeople… she’s the prettiest I suppose… and she could manipulate fire… but still… couldn’t he just find another beautiful woman from a noble family? Why Ceday? 

I stood up slowly, and made my way to the nearest window.

Should I tell Otis? No… that would just start unnecessary problems… but… 

I turn my head towards the door before jumping out the window and onto the ground. 

I don’t like where this is going.

On my way home, I find Thomas and Zane walking around, laughing.

I didn’t want anything to do with them right now.

As soon as I got home, I sprawled on my bed and questioned nearly everything until I fell asleep.

“Alaric. Wake up. Are you alright?” Ceday asked

I opened my eyes. 

Ceday was peering down at me, concerned.

“I’ve never seen you sleep so early since you were a baby.”

I quickly looked away.

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

I didn’t want to look at her. 

I didn’t hate her, but I just felt so disgusted.
“Alaric, I got you books.”

My gut felt like it was twisting as soon as I heard her say that.

“Ok…” 

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. I’m tired. Can I go to sleep?”

“Oh… Ok…” 

Ceday laid the books next to me gently.

I didn’t even want to look at them. 

I was so disturbed. 

When does this stuff even happen? Why me?

Ceday sat on a stool near the doorway to look outside.

A few hours had passed, and Ceday had prepared food for us.

Otis just came home, and I couldn’t even look him in the eye either.

Otis, being as stupid as he usually is, didn’t notice a single thing.

Ceday, however, was rapidly growing concerned.

I didn’t say anything, and I barely ate.

Somehow, this whole situation hit me more than the man dying in the duel for the position of Town’s Guardian. 

Ceday and Otis weren’t just two teenage lovers, they were both in their early 30s and have been together for 10 years.

If I told anyone about this, it would be detrimental to our family. 

I don’t want it to end.

I didn’t even think of them as my parents, but I still loved them.

“Alaric, is there something wrong?” Ceday finally asked “You’re not yourself right now. It’s really hurting my heart. Please, tell me what’s wrong.”

“IT’S NOTHING!” I slammed my fist on the table. Otis stood up

“Hey! What the hell are you doing?”

“Otis- relax. Alaric, I know there’s something wrong.”

“No, there’s nothing wrong.”

Everything is wrong…

“Alaric, please…” I noticed that Ceday was on the verge of crying.

“You’re going to make your own mother cry, Alaric?” Otis snarled.

“I’m sorry…”

“Alaric, what is wrong with you today?”

“I’m sorry…” I stood up and ran outside.

I ran with no destination. It was so cold to where I could see each breath I take. 

No one was chasing me. I ran to the prairie that was covered in snow.

I stumbled and fell down the hill trying to run down it, and face planted into a pile of snow at the bottom of the hill.

“Holy shit, Alaric!” a familiar voice shouts from above the hill.

It was Thomas, and he tumbled down the hill mockingly. 

“Thomas…” 

“You alright? Looks like you’re crying.”

I touched my face and I could feel warm tears pouring down my cheek and side of my nose. 

“Why’re you here, Thomas? It’s very late. Don’t you have dinner or something?”

“Ah, man. Well- stuff happened at home so I came here. It’s like a safe place. Is that why you also came here?”

I got up and looked at Thomas.

“Safe place? Well… maybe that’s why I came here. But what do you mean stuff happened at your home?”

“Ah- how about we both talk about how our problems lead us here.”

Thomas… surely the leader of our group. I’m jealous of him, but I’m grateful that I have him. I don’t know where I’d be right now if it weren’t for him.

“Yeah.”

“Alright… I’ll go first. My dad hit my mom, and so I tried protecting mom, but he hit me and kicked me out of the house.”

I gave Thomas a concerned look

“Thoma-”

“Uh, uh, uh.” Thomas shook his head. “Tell me what happened to you, then we’ll talk about it.”

I hesitated at first, but Thomas seemed like the only person I could talk to about everything going on.

I explained what happened when I snuck into the manor.

“Wow… that’s something else.”

“Yeah…”

“Guess we all have our problems, huh?” Thomas chuckled. I chuckled with him, but I didn’t find anything funny. I chuckled out of mere instinct because Thomas had a presence like the usual popular classmate. 

“Hey, Alaric.” He waited for me to respond, but I just looked at him. “Even if we can’t solve each other's problems, would you mind sticking with me until we both can?”

This caught me by surprise.

I never knew a 5 year old could be so inspiring.

I looked into the sky, Thomas waited for my response.

Maybe because of these problems, they make us a lot older than we seem.

“Hey, Thomas?”

“Yeah?”

“You’d keep this between us, right?”

There was a brief silence.

“Of course.”

I approach Thomas and punch him on the shoulder gently

“I’ll stick with you till’ the end, Thomas.”

“You promise?”

“Hell yeah.”

Thomas lightly punches me on the shoulder, and I stumble backwards.

He just laughed, while I fell back in the pile of snow. 

Thomas jumps next to me in the pile of snow.

“Till’ the end, Alaric.”

“Yeah.”

__

A month passed by, and things between Ceday and me sort’ve went back to normal.

I haven’t talked to her as much as I used to, and I feel discomfort every time she brings back books.

I also assumed she was infertile because of the amount of sex she was having between Otis and Roland.

But I just had to come to terms with this.

I have to accept this, and there’s probably no other way I can confess this with everything not going wrong.

Except everything went wrong one day when Ceday told me something that made my heart drop.

“You know about the manor, don’t you?” Ceday peered into my skull.

My eyes shot open

Oh… fuck…

Cedar told me to sit down at the dining table and went outside.

I could see her pacing back and forth outside the door.

How does she know?

Ceday stopped pacing, and sighed.

“I know you know, Alaric.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You’re just like your father… I know you’re lying.”

She came inside and sat across from me.

She’s lying.

“The guard’s told me you followed me one day.”

She’s not lying.

“That’s all I know. What were you doing in the manor?” I tried playing it off by asking questions, but Ceday shook her head in disappointment. 

“If that’s all you knew, you wouldn’t be acting like this, Alaric. You know.”

Why is she acting disappointed at me? If anything, she should be apologizing!

I felt infuriated that she looked disappointed in me. I’m not the type of person to let my feelings speak first, so I stood calm.

“It scared me that you were going to the Lord’s manor.”

“Why?” Ceday asked

Why? 

“It just did.” I pleaded

“Cut the shit, Alaric. You know how I get the books. You have that dead feeling everytime I hand you books. You never did that before until that day you followed me to the manor.” Ceday grew more impatient.

“Well why are you mad at me? You’re the one who was cheating on Otis! I’m not telling him because I’m actually trying to hold a family together! I understand you’re doing this for me, but if it means you're sacrificing yourself… then don’t do it at all! It hurts me!”

Ceday crossed her hands and looked at the table.

“Alaric- I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make it look that way… I’m just trying to tell you not to sneak into such places…”

“How did you know I snuck in there?”

“How else would you know about the books?”

Shit- I gave it away…

“Alaric, they’d kill you if they saw you… don’t do that…”

“Yeah, whatever.”
I didn’t know whether to blame her or understand her. In the end, she was doing this for me.

“Look, Alaric. I don’t want you to just be another peasant. You have potential to be something, and do something that these peasants could only dream of. I mean, you’re literate, when most of this town can’t read.” Ceday covered her mouth and nearly shed a tear. “I just want to lead you to the right direction in life…” 

“But to go such distances…”
“I would go further for you, Alaric. I’d do anything that means giving you a chance at lifetime happiness, even if I’m in the wrong.”

Love is something strange. It’s crazy how far people would go just to see others in a better position. 

How do you describe love?

Obsession? Passion? Both? More? 

These things I didn’t know, and they all felt overwhelming to me. 

“Mom…” I broke into a small cry. “I’m sorry…”

“Don’t be Alaric. Don’t cry. Be happy. Please.” Ceday put her hand on my cheek and brushed my hair with her fingers. “Alaric, I love you.” 

Did I love her back like a parent? No. But I loved her as a parent figure, which lead me to replying

“I love you too, mom.”

That was settled.

The only thing left to do was to decide whether I should tell Otis or just keep it a secret between the two of us.

The smarter decision was to not tell him, but the moral decision was to tell him.

I wasn’t really a moral guy, so I decided not to tell him.

Unfortunately, Ceday thought otherwise.

Apparently, our talk influenced her to do the “right thing” and tell Otis and discuss the future.

She didn’t tell me she was going to, but it was a week later at dinner that she decided to confess.

“Otis. If you had to sleep with another woman to make me successful, would you do it?”

What? What is she talking about? Ceday- don’t do it. This is not the right time to talk about this, and this is not a good way to start talking about it.

“Ah… I dunno. Would you let me?” Otis chuckled

Ceday smacked her lips.

“Would you let me sleep with another man to ensure your success?” Her tone of voice made it seem as if Ceday was pleading before she even confessed.

“I wouldn’t let you sleep with another man for me.”

“Oh…”

Otis rested his chin on the palm of his hand.

“Why?”

“Uh…” 

Ceday seemed demoralized, but she was clearly forced to finish, otherwise the suspicion would linger and lead to further, and more consequential actions.

“Otis, I’ve been sleeping with the Lord to get Alaric books. There’s no library outside the manor.”

Oh my fucking god, you idiot! What’re you doing?

Otis hand that was holding his chin fell on the table.

He didn’t say a single word, and there was a brief, uncomfortable silence.

Ceday… you’ve got to be kidding me…