I couldn’t process it in my head.

I was deprived of thoughts. 

I was filled with emptiness. 

My body had shot cold.

It took only a few seconds to end 7 years worth of everything from me.

Besides the deprivation of motivation to continue in this life, I had a sense of ending to what seemed to be the beginning. 

Indeed, it was an ending to what was the beginning of something, but it was also a start of something yet to start. 

The seed has been planted. 

This seed was different. 

It didn’t grow, no.

It rebuilt it’s disgusting surroundings back to its former beauty. 

Although this thought didn’t strike me, it circulated around my brain, breeding a new me.

I could still feel the pain of Thomas yanking my head from grasping my hair so tight.

I could still feel the pain of being dragged on a road, watching corpses of who I used to know lay lifelessly on the sides of the road.

I could still feel the humility and disappointment in myself, knowing I could’ve done something beforehand.

I could’ve manifested my magic.

Maybe then I would’ve been able to protect my home. 

Houses collapsed due to the exciting fire, the fire so antsy that it jumped into the forest, ultimately setting it ablaze. 

This one moment, I didn’t want to think.

The unsightly scene engraved itself deep in my heart.

For the better, or for the worse. 

__

 

The shouting and crying died down by the time I was thrown into a wagon.

“Hm. Here’s your 35 copper coins.” a strange voice came from the side of the wagon.

“Pleasure…” I couldn’t see Thomas, but by the tone of his voice, I knew he was smirking.

I couldn’t bother to care, though.

I laid down on the aisle, not bothering to look around.

I just wanted to close my eyes. 

Is this just a dream? It couldn’t be. The pain felt all too real…

“Alaric?” a familiar voice called out my name 

I rolled over, and it was Thomas. 

Not the mercenary Thomas who slaughtered everything that I loved, but my friend Thomas, who helped me overcome hurdles in this life. 

The only person I had left now was Thomas.

It didn’t feel like much to anything at all that he was alive, but it was something, and that something made warm drops of tears fall down my cheeks.

Maybe not of happiness, maybe not of sadness. 

But Thomas didn’t look the same.

Thomas was visibly paranoid. 

Even if his parents may have not been the best, even if his environment wasn’t adequate, I’m sure the havoc wrought on our home has severely impacted him as much as it has to me.

I didn’t feel like talking, and I definitely didn’t feel like talking about it with Thomas to calm ourselves down. 

My eyes grew heavier by the minute.

I was so exhausted, and beaten up. 

I closed my eyes, and in a mere instant, everything was dark.

Am I- dead?

“Thou, for all your misdoings against Hyldum’s precious words, are to be condemned by burning on the stake!” cried an old man ahead of me.

What?

I opened my eyes to find myself in a well lit cathedral with floating plates holding beautiful flue fire that calmly roared.

The colored, transparent windows had art that resembled both suffering, and sacrifice. 

There was no roof. Instead, it was a bright sky with clouds, and what could be seen was a gate on top of a white marble staircase.

This must be the doing of magic… but that’s not my concern… Where am I? What’s hap-

“Death to The Vampire of Varyn!” a man chanted from behind me.

I turned around, and there was a large audience sitting in rows of long benches. After the man’s chant, the audience chanted with him.

“Death to The Vampire of Varyn!”

Many were pointing at me.

Why are they pointing at me? Why am I being condemned?

“Thou looked Hyldum in the eyes and have violated his divine requests for order!” I turned around yet again to find an old man in lavish clothing and a tall hat that looked like a pointed arch standing proudly on a podium. His voice sounded worn out, but full of pride and dignity. “Sick! Thou sick! May Luther treat you well in the bed of thorns and fire awaiting your return in hell!” 

Suddenly, I rose, and I kept rising.

I tried moving my arms, but they were restrained by something.
“Death to The Vampire of Varyn!” the audience chanted still. 

“Oh foreseen were his words… sinners death looms in the air… his word is absolute… his words mean all to cease despair among his children…” The old man sang, and the audience sang with him.

I couldn’t speak or move.

“How wrong you are…” says a soft gentle voice below me.

I turn my head to the ground where I can see my feet tied in rope on a wooden pole, and Ceday holding a cup just below me. 

I began tearing up at the sight of Ceday.

“Ce-ceeda-” 

“Death!” The audience chanted

“Death!” 

“Hyldum grants thee passageway to the depths of hell! Sinner began!” The old man’s face wrinkled as if there weren't already enough wrinkles on his ancient face. 

Ceday? Is this a dream?

Suddenly, the bottom of the wooden pole was set ablaze, and the fire grew closer to me slowly.

“I thought we were friends, Alaric!” said another familiar voice. 

Behind Ceday came Zane, Alard and Dreu. 

“You watched us die! You could’ve saved us!” 

This must be a terrible nightmare… it feels way too real… but if this is real…

The audience roars grew louder, and they began singing verses from another language that I couldn’t understand. 

“I loved you, Alaric…” Cried Ceday. “You left me… you were my son…” 

This is the worst nightmare…

I could feel the flames beneath me tickle the bottom of my feet.

“You were jealous. That’s why you did it. You were jealous of us because you can’t manifest magic. You deserve death!” shouted Zane.

I wasn’t… I… I was… but I wouldn’t mean to leave you for dead!

“I was going to become Dunwich’s greatest guardian… Why did you let me die? You cared only for yourself!”

That’s not true! 

But it was true. Even though I knew this was a dream, I felt guiltier by the minute.

This is my fault? But… I couldn’t do anything!

“Where’s mommy? I want mommy… please!” cried Dreu. 

Dreu was very attached to his mother, Thomas told me once. 

I saw her get violated by other mercenaries as I was being dragged.

“I want to hug her again…” Dreu broke into a heavy cry

This was my fault… I killed everyone… I could’ve done something… I could’ve manifested my magic earlier. I could’ve… 

The fire was reaching up my legs.

“Burn in hell, Earl.” said the old man. I was too busy crying to pay much attention to it, though.

I deserve to be condemned. I deserve to die.

The audience went from chanting to joyous celebration and cheering.

The old man was clapping slowly, watching me perish on the stake.

Ceday and my friends watched me as they slowly began to fade away.

My tears fell into the flames that started to engulf me. 

I couldn’t feel the flames of the fire, but I could feel the flames of utter regret and failure rampaging through my heart. 

I could still hear the voices of my people screaming and crying.

I could still hear the voices of Ceday humming and singing.

I could still hear Otis instructing me to properly use the sword.

I could still hear Zane talk about his new dog he found.

I could still hear Alard bragging about becoming the next Town’s Guardian.

I could still hear Dreu talking down on me off of any little thing I’ve done. 

Even though Thomas was still alive, I could hear him too.

I thought that maybe the Thomas I saw was still alive, but the Thomas I knew had died in the town as well. 

‘I’ll stick with you till the end.’ Thomas' voice rang in my head.

“Wake up!” an officious voice in the distance demanded.