Ch 79: Even after all this time
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Author Note:

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Today, on the last day before the quarterfinals, I saw Joaquin entering the stadium at the same time as us, so we decided to sit together.

It's been a long time since I've seen the old captain, and we have a lot to tell each other.

Deirdre didn't know him before this. So, before I went to say hello to Joaquin, I asked her if she felt like meeting someone new.

And she told me she didn't mind, as long as she could watch the tournament bouts.

So, after approaching and greeting him, we looked for some free seats, and watched the show while talking about everything that has happened this time without seeing each other.

"Wow, yeah, it's really been a while since we've talked. It's been more than 10 months since I've seen you..." says Joaquin, after I tell him briefly what I've been doing so far "I saw you several times during the battle against the orcs, but obviously that day I couldn't afford to be distracted by anything. And then I didn't see you again..."

"I'm sorry. I should have paid you a visit," I say apologetically, because I should have done it when I returned to the capital. But when I arrived, I was very surprised with the news of the refugees, and then I met Deirdre and…. Anyway, I forgot about Joaquin.

"There's no need to apologize; I understand. You were busy with other things, I guess. Lilian has already told me about some of them… It's amazing how capable that girl is for her age. She's also very good at fighting, but the administrative matters of the kingdom require another kind of strength altogether. And yet she seems to be able to do it.... But you're no slouch! I saw your fights on the first day of the tournament." says Joaquin, smiling. "You've become really strong, Xel, stronger than I will ever be.... That fills me with pride. Perhaps it may be uncomfortable for you to hear, but I see you in a way as an adopted son."

"Nah, I still have a long way to go. I've met people who are a hell of a lot stronger than me," I say nonchalantly, evoking the memory of Regis and his family, but happy for Joaquin's words. Ultimately, I owe him, Julia, and Ragnar for who I am today.  "But thank you, once again… For everything," I end up saying without knowing very well how to respond to his last sentence.

"You're welcome, Xel. I'm glad to see you're well. I remember, when I met you, being worried that you would accept leaving the place where your parents died without looking back… You seemed dead in life..." he says in a joking tone. But, try as I might, I can't see the humor in it. However, Joaquín doesn't seem to notice my reaction and, patting me on the back, he continues, "But I guess you knew what you were doing. There's no one like oneself to know what we can or can't cope with."

While Joaquín is talking, I see how Deirdre is attentive to his every word...

I suppose I should have talked to her about my past, but it's not a subject I like to remember.

The mere memory of it is enough to turn my mood negative. Even after all this time...

That's why, the times I've gone to the Crossroads Town, I've had a hard time mustering the courage to approach my parents' grave.

Just... Why did they have to die?

I'm looking at the ground but, out of the corner of my eye, I see Deirdre give me a pitying look. And that only darkens my mood even more...

Azur tries to cheer me up, sending me images of us flying through the skies, which always brings a smile to my face.

But the memory of what happened that day at the Crossroads Town is stronger, and so my companion's attempts bear no fruit.

"Seriously, I'm really glad to see you well," says Joaquin hurriedly, seeing my expression "it looks like you've got yourself a good adventure partner again".

"Yes..." I say, but I feel worse and worse. Instead of cheering me up, that 'again' just reminds me of what happened to Joseph.

Azur starts to growl at Joaquin, but I ask him to stop. Joaquin is not to blame for anything. It is simply my life that is like this…

"Master, look at the move that participant has made! I don't think even you could do that," Deirdre says, resting one hand on mine and squeezing it, while pointing with the other to the arena.

Where one of the competitors is parrying the arrows of his opponent's crossbow with some strange flourishes of his sword.

It would be interesting if it weren't for the fact that he's standing still in place. I suppose he needs to be concentrated on performing these complex movements, or that he is waiting for his opponent to run out of projectiles.

But the reality is that the guy with the sword is getting more and more exhausted, while the guy with the crossbow is pulling projectile after projectile out of his magic bags.

Anyway... The outcome is easy to predict, and neither competitor is really doing anything impressive.

It's clear that Deirdre is just trying to distract me with any kind of nonsense. But I thank her anyway, giving her a squeeze back and looking down at the arena.

As I reflect on the little therian's gesture and how much she seems to know me in this short time, little by little, the warmth of her hand pushes away the gloomy thoughts from my mind, and I relax again.

There is no point in dwelling on the past. I have to focus on the present and try not to let that sort of thing happen to… At least to the people I care about. As a realist, I know that no matter how hard I fight and try to be stronger, there will always be things I can't achieve.

'You are cursed.'

For a moment, Agustin's comment comes back to my mind and the gloomy thoughts again threaten to overwhelm me.

But, this time, Deirdre's light acts as a beacon. Guiding me towards her and preventing me from once again getting lost in the darkness of the deepest places in my heart.

...

Most of the participants are quite weak and disappointing.

They have probably only been attracted by money in the tournament.

And many other people in the kingdom, who are strong, have surely not participated for various reasons, like Ozy.

Anyway, there are some who have been especially outstanding.

Charity, for example. She appears to be skilled not only at blacksmithing but also at fighting. And she uses a large mace of about 130 centimeters with the same ease with which a broom would move.

Iñigo, whom I had already seen during the battle on the beach, where was fighting with great skill with a rapier sword alongside a large mastiff. However, now the animal does not accompany him due to the rules.

And Victra. A white-haired girl who wields a dagger and a crossbow whom I had also seen during the battle on the beach, fighting alongside the queen.

I remember that, when I told Deirdre that I thought that girl could be faster than her, the little therian looked at me with a look full of indignation, which is very rare in her, and that made me laugh.

And many others...

But, by far, the most extraordinary is the queen. She has amazing strength and speed. And she also seems to be proficient in several weapons, as I have seen her use several types of spears, maces, axes, and a great sword.

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