Shiratori Haruto

“Will… Will you return to the adventure?”

I sat silent for a second, staring aimlessly at the logo rotating as it flew right in front of my eyes, just some steps away on top of my table. The time around me and this logo was stopped—all students around the whole class stood frozen in the middle of their actions of walking, talking, laughing, etc. Same with the boys and the girls in the corridor, visible through the transparent window fitted on the right side of my class. I sat in the right back corner of the room, completely silent, as the logo continued to rotate.

“So, whaddya say?” The robotic voice of the logo replied. “We don’t have a whole day to talk, kiddo.”

“You… want me to… return to that place?”

“… I…” The voice knew what I was talking about. Therefore, he rotated silently for a couple of seconds. “I… I know what happened to you, kiddo. But…”

“Then… why…?”

“… Why do you want me to go back there?”

“… Why, you ask? It’s… because I’m here, and I’ve seen what you’ve not.”

As I heard the reply, I gulped in. “What are you talking about?”

“You’ll see it… yourself… once… you come here,” He hesitantly replied.

I opened my mouth and took a deep breath inside my chest floating up. Then, I exhaled out with my lips. I then closed my eyes, feeling tensed by the situation and unsatisfied with that answer, and then I turned my head to my right, looking at the window and a group of girls on the other side standing in the corridor. The three girls had their backs on the wall behind, their lunchboxes in their right hand, and two other girls stood in front of them, forming a group. They were chatting and laughing and having fun as they ate—when they were suddenly frozen in the middle of their laughter. Everyone was laughing differently—some had their mouths wide open, some had their heads and legs tilted, and some had their left hands in front of their faces.

“You know, I wanna tell you something. I guess you gotta listen it.”

“Mm-hmm.”

“Dansamia… was a place of nothing but… depression… to me.” I then turned my head to the front again, looking at him with my dead serious neutral eyes, strongly looking at the logo. “It was one of the worst experiences I’ve ever had. And, it was nothing like how you’ve branded it in the beginning.” I turned to my right again. “I… had a great friend before we were isekai’d. But… Dansamia stole him from me.”

“No, Haruto…” He silently murmured out in the middle.

“And it was not just from his side, it was from my side too. He… broke all connections of friendship we’ve had, and I… took him out of my mind for good. I don’t wanna meet Itsuki again. I don’t wanna face him. And, it’s not because that I’m scared, or I won’t be able to do it, but… it’s just that… I just don’t want to. You see, I have so much toxicity inside me for that person now that I… I…” I gulped in. My throat was filled, with my eyes trying to hold back all the tears which had emerged. “Dansamia stole everything from me. Nothing… Nothing ever is gonna be the same again. Nothing’s gonna be the same as it was.”

“Haruto… I… know how much lost you feel in life right now, kiddo,” The robotic voice replied. “You gave up everything for that one guy, and now that he got everything back, he… disposed you off. But… it was all a mistake, and… Takemura-kun really regrets it. He… He is not the same friendly cheerful guy he used to be with you. He’s changed. He’s turned cold toward everyone, and… I bet he’s regretting all of it really hard. The night you died… had completely changed him.”

“Well, I can’t really do anything about it, I guess.”

“Haruto…”

“Because… I’m never returning to that place. I’m never returning to that feeling, to that vibes, to those experiences.”

“I know, Haruto, that whatever happened… should not have happened. You kids were my responsibility, and the complete blame’s on me. I… I’m the leader of The Bar, the team who is planning to defeat the king. You all work under me, so any blame to take is on me… and only me.”

“Then… you take the blame for me not going back there. Simple.” I kept my right hand on the table and started to stand up, my chair pushed back by my knees as I straightened my legs. I then stood up in front of my table. “You got my answer.” I moved my right hand up and wiped the lower part of my right eye. “I’m not going back there.”

“So… you want to leave your friend alone?”

“… It was not what I wished for, but—”

“What are you even doing here? Taking revenge on him?” He asked strongly. “You… You’re making your best friend go through the same thing you’ve gone through. You’re making him experience what despair is like… intentionally.”

There was then a couple of seconds of silence that followed. I continued to look at him, my eyes shocked and startled as I realized what I had been doing all along.

“He’s… He’s seen enough already for you, kiddo. I see the pain in his eyes. He wants you back. It’s enough, kiddo. It’s enough. Everything… Everything will be all right again. And I assure you that. It’s not the time to take revenge. We’re in the most crucial stage of our mission… a stage we were waiting for years to come. We need you here now. Just… stop… and come back… for his sake… and for your sake… because I can see it in your eyes too… that you don’t wanna say all those things… that you don’t mean all those things… but your experiences… they’re letting you speak all this shit and do whatever it takes to be here.”

“No… All these things… All this time, I was just waiting for someone to tell all these things… even though I don’t mean bad for Itsuki or anyone, but… I want people to know what I’ve gone through, and to understand my side of the story.”

“… Yeah… I didn’t intend to speak all of it…”

“Though I wanted to speak it all to someone.”

“I… I’ll return to Dansamia. But… I need one day…”