Chapter 10: So Close
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“...And that’s how you do it.” After a couple of tense minutes, I feel a weight lifting off my shoulders. It has to be a wonder why I was so worried when really today’s just like every other day. I’ll just chalk it up to some nervous jitters from returning to a sense of the old status quo I had grown up with. “Does it make sense to you?”

“Yes.” I respond. She’d make for a great teacher in the future. She’s either a really smart girl, or having experience in this material creates a huge gap between our intelligence. “Since you’re helping me with my stuff, could I catch a peek of the work you have to do?”

“Sure.” She giggles. “Just wondering what you can expect?” I peer over her paperwork that she slides to me. Huh… A lot of my confidence has disappeared as I can’t make sense of the problems here. All of these math questions make little sense to me. What are all these symbols supposed to mean? “It’s a good thing you have a year to prepare for this.” She comments on the puzzled look on my face as she pulls back towards herself.

“Ah, high school’s going to be a lot of this, isn’t it?” Defeated, I fall over backwards. Staring up to the ceiling, I can only dread what that part of the future will hold for me. “Maybe I shouldn’t join a club. There’s no way I’d have time to do that and this at the same time.”

“You don’t need to worry about that.” She assures me. “You’re always doubting yourself, but I think you’re smarter than you think you are.”

“Gee, when you say it…” I like hearing her encourage me. Things can be hard growing up and being an only child makes me feel alone in this world. Sure, my parents care deeply about me and have always done their best. But there’s a difference between having an adult support you compared to someone who’s around your age. “I’ll always try my best, but you already know that.”

“If you didn’t, I’d have to wonder if an alien kidnapped and replaced you with someone else.” We continue on with our work and I’m sure glad she’s by my side. Doing this by myself would’ve taken ages, but already we’re done for the day.

“Hmm, I should probably get going.” We were done so soon that there’s still a lot of time before dinner’s going to start. “But… I kind of want to stay.” Wait, I didn’t mean to say that part out loud. “Oh! um...” Immediately I’m already searching for words to come up with an excuse.

“I certainly wouldn’t mind if you stayed.” She replies. Though, she quietly looks down and gently pinches her lips. It’s as if she’s deep in thought, contemplating something important in this moment. “You might feel it’s weird since we’re the only people here in the house.”

“Oh no, that’s fine.” I assure her that it’s no big deal to me if we’re alone, or if her parents were here. None of that would affect what I’d do here. “I’ll stay here until it’s time for dinner.”

“Then…” She sits down onto her bed and gently pats on the spot she wants me at. A spot right next to her. I do as she silently ordered, sitting on her soft, comfortable bed. “You should tell me, are there any girls you’re interested in?”

“Already? But I’ve only been in school for a couple days now.”

“But you said that there were a lot of girls who talked to you? Surely you’ve gotten to know a few by now.”

“I mean, sure.” I can’t deny that there were more during lunchtime. A few repeats too. So they certainly are looking to see if there’s any potential spark. Still, it’s not easy to talk with anyone, let alone Juria, about my own feelings. While I don’t know her exact reasons for being curious about it, I do see her point of view.

I know that I view her as that big sister of mine. To shouldn’t be a surprise if she viewed me in a similar light. Like another younger brother to go along with Taisei. A lot of older siblings try to take care of their brothers and sisters. She’s probably trying to make sure I’m happy with a girl I like. “There are some that I find cute.”

“Ah.” She snaps her finger, proud to have been able to get something out of me. “Have you thought about going out with any of them?”

“I can’t say for sure.” It’s hard for me to continue to answer her questions. The tips of my ears begin to burn as I lose my ability to look her in the eye. “I’ve never confessed to anyone before. So I don’t know what to do.”

“It doesn’t have to be so formal.” She puts her hand on my back. “And maybe soon, someone will confess to you.” The thought of that… Terrifies me to be honest. She probably thinks I’d get giddy over the matter, but it’s scary to have someone open up their feelings to someone like me. “If that happens, would you accept?”

“I… Don’t know.” I answer honestly. “I mean, I should be respectful of their feelings, but what if I don’t return their feelings?”

“Hmm, that is a good question.” She puts a hand under her chin to think the scenario over. Or more accurately, what her answer to the hypothetical would be. “Maybe you should give it a shot anyway.” Huh? That… Is not at all how I thought she’d answer. While I shouldn’t question her. I remember what she said yesterday. That you just can’t make someone like you.

“Thanks for the advice.” I say, getting up from the bed. “It’s nice to have someone to help me with things like this.” Even though she was the one who brought up the conversation in the first place. “Anyway, I should be heading home now.”

“Ah yes.” She gets up to follow me. “I’ll see you out the… Whoa!” It was just a simple mistake on her end. The girl was still wearing her socks and on the hard floor it can be slippery. Juria is tumbling over backwards, which is when my instincts override my mind once again. There’s only one thing it wants to do and that’s pull her to try and keep her from falling.

“Whoa!” Sadly, I’m also wearing socks. So instead of stopping this, she ends up pulling me down with her. It’s fortunate her bed is there to catch the two of us. Which makes it seem weird that I tried to save her when it wasn’t necessary at all. I feel like my body acts without thinking, which might be for the best in some situations.

“Are you okay?” Though for this situation, it may not have been the best decision. I’ve ended up laying right on top of her in her bed now.

“I’m fine.” I respond, getting my grip to press myself off of her. But… I hesitate instead. “Oh…” I don’t know what’s possessing me to do this. Maybe I need to stop blaming my body, and realize it’s my own actions instead. When I look Juria in her one good eye, I can’t help but keep looking.

“Hideumi?” It’s not just her eye. My eyes wonder all over her. I’ve never gotten so close to her this way. I want to keep taking in her sight. Her blushing face, her soft skin in the parts that aren’t scarred, even her scent. Okay, now I’m getting a little weird.

“Y-you don’t have to s-stare…”

“Hey Juria, I just got ho…” It’s taken me too long to end this. In this position, I turn my head to see Taisei looking at us. He had just gotten home from whatever it was the baseball team was doing. He was hoping to get home right in time for dinner. It seems he got more than just a meal.

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