//Author Note
Check out my 2 new books, they're really good and I need your support!
If you enjoy this story, like it, rate it, leave a comment, and share it around!
//End Note
Sedena, a living golem of stone and clay may be a murderous monster, but she is still a proper welfare officer, as proper as they really get by my judgement. She does her work as is expected of her, and much of that work comes down to observing various people and writing reports on their behaviour, tailing those who have been showing signs of beastly behaviour, and collaring those that have become true threats to social order.
In the office, she talks quite casually with her fellow welfare officers, though the conversations are a little strange. Even without her old collar, she twists her consciousness into knots to try and keep from betraying the rules that no longer apply to her.
“Blue is truly a great colour, green just isn’t blue enough and red is… acceptable, but not great. Not great at all.” The officer opposite her grumbles to himself as he works. “Those that like red must be at least a little bit beastly. No, no that’s not in the rules and the rules are never wrong. Blue is great.”
Another is stroking the side of her own head over and again, mumbling sounds without meaning, while staring down at the reports that she’s putting together. The office is full of such behaviours, people stripped of key parts of themselves, parts that might betray the rules that they must enforce.
What I wouldn’t give to slaughter them all. To toy with them one by one as the others watch.
This voice, though much like the cruel voice in my own mind, it’s not actually mine. I’m reading from Sedena’s mind, testing my ability and seeing just how much I can trust the murderer herself.
No, I must have patience. That annoying Kyra will stir up trouble if I start playing around. I need to wait, I’ll be free soon enough, and I’ll be able to do as I please. Maybe I can even find placement in a quiet world away from everyone. A place where I can do what I want without any threat of the other welfare officers noticing me.
Even with her collar removed, her thinking processes are messed up. I don’t really know what to do with her, if I kill her or cause problems it’ll bring the full force of the welfare officers down on our heads. It’s nice that she’s holding back her desires for now, but I just know that she’s going to murder more people once we take our eyes off of her.
Even if she doesn’t betray us, she’ll keep on killing. I don’t want to be left watching from the sidelines.
“Good day, dear associate!” an exuberant middle aged man says, expressing overeager joy tainted by a strange tension that runs through his entire body. It’s like he’s been strung up from the ceiling and puppeteered around the room, and his wide open eyes almost seem to be pleading for mercy.
One of the other welfare officers glares at Sedena and this strange man, not even looking away when she says her own greetings to the creature. It licks its lips before tilting it’s head and getting back to work. I can’t read any ill intent from the creature, if anything, my translator perceived the act as remarkedly neutral.
Crossing the office towards Sedena is a peculiar figure. A human man. He’s about in his forties if his appearance can be trusted, and has a large bushy beard, completely untamed. He excitedly runs up to Sedena with wide open eyes.
“There is hope!” He says, laughing maniacally. “I can spread the grand success of the Unified States, I can make people out of monsters. We are doing the work of the G-g-g-” He chokes on his own tongue, unable to say the next word. “The people. It’s all for the people.”
“Yes, for the people.” Sedena replies, smiling at the madman as she sips at a cup of tea. It’s nothing fancy, and nothing expensive, it seems the welfare officers aren’t granted that much in excess riches.
“We will build them a utopia, and I will be their guide! I will be their prophet!” The man says, his shouting reducing to maniacal chuckling as he walks out the door.
“Oh, Gale. What I wouldn’t give to see you scream.” Sedena whispers, returning to her work as I turn my attention back to the task at hand.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
We’re walking the path of the gods, which is a fancy way of saying that we’re stealing every scrap of power that we can while working up towards the point of overthrowing all those that stand above us.
Towards that ends, I’ve collected enough mana to spend on adapting my body a little closer to a vessel that might survive a transition into crystalline mana. A small handful of adaptions are already lined up for ready purchase. Rather than sensibly changing myself one piece at a time, I may as well just throw it all together at once.
Bloody Fuel, Flash Nerves, and all the adaptions to do with my senses. Sum total: 43,000 mana shards, I have to withdraw some mana from my throne to make it work, and but it’s still a cheap enough price that I can make up for it with my secondary job as a trash collector. More accurately a recycling facility, where I consume all the mana in the junk that can’t otherwise find purpose.
I can already see the future coming for me, it’s going to be rather challenging to gather enough mana for the later adaptions. This price is the reason that so many push themselves into leadership roles, a civilisation can gather more mana for their leader than a stray hunter can ever find for himself. In the end I’m not doing anything much different, even though I am trying to think of the well being of my own subjects.
Putting that recuring, over-stressed topic behind me, I drown in the new sensations flooding from my new eyes, ears, and nose. All sorts of scents and experiences taking over my mind as I try to parse it all into something more manageable.
“Kyra!” Nel shouts much too loudly as she pulls me down from my throne. A wave of dizziness floods my mind as I try to find my feet, but she pulls me away down to the soft carpet below.
After much shouting and busying about, I’m distracted by a headache that just won’t go away, blood loss inspired light-headedness from using my new ‘blood fuel’ trick to replace my wasted mana with blood that I can’t spare, and a series of violent fits inspired by a new nervous system that’s a little too reactive.
“Kyra, why are you stupid?” Nel laments, resting me on her lap as the others sit around, working on their own Skills and developments.
Eshya snorts back a laugh, the sound clear and crisp to my new ears, Vii’s eyes sparkle as she laughs at me, shining with the reflections of the lights about the room, her slight nervousness fades away for a moment. Adler just shakes her head judgementally, as she takes in the sight of me, lamely resting on Nel’s lap.
“It’s not stupid.” I argue back. “I’m rushing things a little, but I want to have everything ready by the time our kids come into this world. I want everything to be perfect.”
“We can’t have perfect.” Nel replies.
“How about we settle for good enough.” Eshya cuts in. “I want to get stronger too, but part of that is perfecting the use of what abilities you have. Piling on a whole bunch of new Skills and abilities that you’re not ready to use will only waste your time as you try to get used to it all.”
“Better to waste my time now, when there’s no emergency.” I reply.
“Well, I can’t say you’re wrong about that.” Eshya chuckles. “We’re going to be getting into some messy fights before our kids come popping out.”
“I’ve told you before.” Nel warns her. “Don’t talk about it like that, they’re not ‘popping’ out of me.”
“Fine, fine.” Eshya assures her, and I just know that she’s going to be saying it again regardless. “I’m just saying that Kyra’s not wrong. We need to push ourselves constantly if we want to stay at the top. Those gremlins weren’t wrong to try and depose us, and if we can’t keep them in line then we are going to lose all of this, and probably our lives too.”
“I know.” Nel cuts her off sharply. “I just… I want us to take things slower. There’s too much of life to enjoy to spend it all training and fighting.”
“It’s the opposite, if we don’t train ourselves for the wars to come, then we won’t live long enough to enjoy our lives properly.” Eshya says.
“Please.” Nel stops her, growing harsher. “I just want to have a moment of peace here, can we at least have that?”
“Why did we let them live?” Eshya says, finally letting out the thought that I could feel rattling around in her head. “Those gremlins are going to cause us problems in the future, and it’s not like we haven’t killed before.”
“I want to try something different.” I explain myself. “I want to find a way to give them a chance at living, at making up for their mistakes. If they were stronger, I’d just execute them, but they’re weak enough that I’m sure we can do something to change them.”
“Like collars?” Eshya asks. “Like brainwashing, and everything else my grand homeland gets up to. You want to make a society like theirs? If I ever do something wrong, please just kill me instead.”
“Eshya!” Nel shouts. “That’s not happening. We’re not going to put a collar on you.”
“No? Then how about I go find those traitorous little gremlin shits and test out some of my Skills on them. If you’re not going to punish me for it, then why shouldn’t I?”
“Because I want to try this, and you trust me enough to give me a chance.” I say, sitting up and crawling to her side. Every light is too bright, every sound to clear, but I swim through it all to sit by her side. “I want to try making something better. When I fuck it up you can tell me ‘I told you so’ as much as you like, just please let me try.”
“Kyra, we can’t save everyone.” Eshya says, lowering her voice. “The people trying to kill us are not worth the effort. You care about them too much; I don’t want to see you hurt when they start killing people again. I don’t want to see you blaming yourself when they fail you.”
“I…” I can’t find an answer for her. I will blame myself when I fail, but I need to take responsibility. If I kill them, I’ll be responsible for that. If I let them go and they murder others, then I’ll be responsible for that. If I try to help them but they end up hurting people anyway… it’ll be on me regardless of what choice I make.
“It’s just being a leader.” I say, struggling to find some better explanation for her. “Whatever I do, and whatever I don’t do, I’ll be blaming myself for it.”
“I don’t want to see you putting yourself through this.” She says firmly. “You should go back to how you were before, when you killed our enemies without hesitation. At least back then you didn’t seem to be as hurt by it all.”
I flinch back from her, remembering all that I’ve done, and the ways in which I’ve dealt with the repercussions. Burying everything, focusing myself on future goals to forget all the horrible things that I’ve done. Imagining being on the other end of it all… my mind ties itself in knots to avoid the thought.
“How have I changed?” I ask hesitantly, breathing slowly.
“You were much more confident, and reckless. You didn’t spend so much time thinking over things before dealing with your problems. If you dealt with half of our enemies the way you are these gremlins we’d never have made it this far.” She says, holding me close. “You focused on the future, not all these other difficult things.”
“Then I haven’t really changed.” I say. “I’m still focusing on the future. The future I want to build, it’s just that those gremlins aren’t some monster that is standing in my path, they’re a building block of what I’m trying to build. I want to figure out how to work with them, how they can best contribute to the whole of what I’m building. I don’t want to build a society that just disposes of people because they’re too ‘beastly.’
“I need to take responsibility for my people, even the criminals. It’s what it means to have power over others, and as much as it hurts sometimes, I don’t want to let this go. I love it when I get it all right, when people feel that they can trust me and turn to me to resolve their problems.
“When they can live happy lives, knowing that no beast or monster is going to knock down their walls tonight and gobble them up, all because I’m protecting them. I love it when they turn to me to find justice, trusting that I’ll resolve their issues, and make things better again. To have those moments, I need to suffer when I fail. I need to struggle with these choices, if I ever want an answer that I’d be willing to accept.”
Vii was scrawling in her little note book, but she looks thoughtfully towards me and her pen has stopped moving. Adler only nods as if it’s the most sensible thing in the world, and Nel is indifferent. Eshya… she lets out a weary sigh and pulls herself away from me.
“It could be so much easier.” She says, standing up. “Just… I think I need to think on this a little more.”
“Trust in me.” I say, as she retreats. “I’m strong, and I have you to rely on when things get tough. I’ll make sure that things work out in the end.”
“Just think about yourself a little, too. Please don’t let this little game of yours consume you.” Eshya says, leaving us here in an awkward silence.
“Kyra…” Nel nervously watches her go, seeming relieved as Vii nervously trails after our errant elf.
“It’ll be fine.” I say. “She’s just… a little frustrated at my decision to let the gremlin bombers live.”
“So long as they don’t hurt us, so long as we can stay together as a family, I don’t care what you do with them.” Nel says harshly. “Just make sure that Eshya doesn’t leave us.”
“I know.” I say, squeezing her hand comfortingly. “Everything will be fine.”
“Kyra.” Adler speaks up, “You made the right choice. Thank you.”
“Well, it’s put more work on your plate, too.” I reply. “I’m hoping to get some advice from you on how we can reform them. I have a few ideas, and I think rolling out a proper educational system will be at the top of that list. Even before the academy opens up.”
“How so?” Adler asks, tilting her head in thought. “It would keep them busy?”
“It gives them a goal to work towards.” I reply. “There’ll still be some who cause trouble—there’s no stopping that unless we want to completely remove our people from freedom—but many of them, the gremlins especially, feel like they have no place here.
“I can see it and hear it from all over the city. They’re directionless, and so when someone comes along with an offer, a chance to work towards something greater, and make their lives better, they take it.”
“But there are plenty of opportunities here.” Nel says, shaking her head. “All sorts of work and guilds, and anyone can do anything. The Skills we have stored on our support devices…”
“There are too many choices.” I reply easily. “Those with a goal in mind can use all this to get ahead, sure, but those without any goals see all the options, and they don’t know what will be worth dedicating their life to.”
“So, we should encourage, or outright force them to take classes, study up on magics and Skills?” Alder asks. “That will stop them from misbehaving?”
“Some maybe.” I reply with a helpless shrug. “There are millions of free Skills and magic lessons stored in our brain chips. It costs us nothing to share it around and get people studying—or, well, we’re already doing that—but maybe being a bit more forceful in telling them what we want of them would help. The gremlins especially lived in a different society, a simpler one, and if they only had to do as they were told to contribute to their society.
“We just need to pressure them into contributing something to society and reward them for it afterwards. If that doesn’t work, we can try some other things, but I really think it’s a good place to start. Many of them really do want to work, they just need someone to tell them what they can do to be helpful.”
“I’ll look into it.” Adler says. “We should introduce this idea to Slan and June, they seem to be ready to start building up some institutions, and maybe they have a few ideas on this as well.”
I nod slowly, trying to work through my idea and figure out how to phrase it to convince them.
In the distance Vii and Eshya talk about me, about my empire that I’m trying to build, and their personal concerns. It’s difficult to spare them any privacy, so I redouble my focus on the task set out before me so that I don’t have the spare attention to listen in on them.
Thankfully, and at the same time quite unthankfully, I have some complicated senses to try and tame. Already I can smell what I had for dinner last night, and it’s not quite as appealing this time around.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Stats and Skills
~Mana Form:
Current mana density: 39,325 / 60,892 units
Current mana volume: 19,546 / 30,266 shards
Mana volume at crystallisation density (Max. mana volume):
Kyra: 30,266 shards
Kyra’s armour: 20,777 shards
Kyra’s throne: 1,109,298 shards
~Forms
Mana Canon
-Annihilation Heart (Adapted)
-Blood Fuel (Adapted)
-Bone Magic Storage (40,000 mana shards)
-Nail Shifters (50,000 mana shards)
Dancer
-Flash Nerves (Adapted)
-Quick Perception Mind (Adapted)
-Burst Reflex Muscles (35,000 mana shards)
-Layered space Muscles (80,000 mana shards)
Turtle
-Rebinding Tissue (Adapted)
-Catalyst Sweat Glands (140,000 mana shards)
-Repulsive Skin (80,000 mana shards)
-Prehensile hair (10,000 mana shards)
-Fatty Tissue Blood Storage (100,000 mana shards)
Investigator
-Wide eyes (Adapted)
-Wide ears (Adapted)
-Sharp nose (Adapted)
Misc.
-Clean bowels (Adapted)
~Favourited Skills:
Magic:
-Annihilation Magic (Customised)
-Fire Magic (Functional)
-Space magic (Broken)
-Force magic (Functional)
-Ice magic (Broken)
-Wind magic (Broken)
Movement:
-Hand-to-hand casting (Functional)
-Mana surge movement (Functional)
-Stealth (Functional)
Senses:
-Eyes of an Empire (Customised)
-Combat Awareness (Functional)
-Watchmen (Functional)
-Hidden bug (Mastered)
-De-tagging (Mastered)
-Anti-stealth sight (Mastered)
Special:
-Spirit Transformation (Broken)
-Conformity (Broken)
-Training mana form (Functional)
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
If you enjoy this story, like it, rate it, leave a comment, and share it around!
If you really like it and want more chapters join the Patreon, I need all your support to keep this going.
Patreon: www.patreon.com/formlesschimera
Patreon
