Hey guys! Not a chapter, just an announcement so that everybody can see it and it will be erased later on.
I'm starting to feel a bit better. Currently the plan is a hiatus for either one or two weeks and then I'll return, probably with extra chapters to make up for the missed ones. This isn't the final plan, but it's very likely, so expect things to work like this!
Thanks to those of you who commented and worried about me. If you want to know, an explanation and complaint of what went on in the spoiler. Not necessary to read, it's just me letting out steam :P
Spoiler
The ones that read my other story, the Real-life dating sim, might have noticed from my comments and depictions that I have some anxiety issues. (For those of you who have a hard time understanding the problem of anxiety: Your logic says things are a certain way but your brain just decides to scream so loudly that it can't hear logic. Kind of going 'Lalala I cant hear you! I will just panic!') On friday evening, someone I know took our play of 'I write stories and wont show them to you' 'I can find them on my own!' waaay too seriously.
They started using queries on google and the few hints (that I thought were useless) I gave them to brute-force their way into trying to find my account despite me saying several times that I want them to stop, now. They only stopped when I got so openly pissed that I was about to immediately leave the room, but the point is, I don't believe they stopped searching at home. And with the way they did it, it's possible to find it.
Now that might not sound terrible for most people.
Thing is, the thought of them finding my account and stories triggered such an 'allergic' reaction on me that I was just short of erasing the whole account and I spent the night crying with cramps in my stomach. Sounds like overreacting? It is, but try explaining that to my head. Anyway, I felt terrible about writing and still feel bad and honestly kind of sick, kind of like wanting to throw up. In the end, I do love it though, so I'm doing everything to calm myself down. I expect this feeling to go away in a week or two and then I'd be back to uploading.
[collapse]
Rant over.
See you (probably) later!
Edit: Will return next weekend :)
Don't worry at all and take all the time you need. Love your story and definitely will wait for you to feel better.
I don't know much about anxiety attacks but thank you for sharing with us and hope you'll be able to get better in the future or find ways to work around this problem. Wish you all the best.?
Thanks for the kind words
That person needs to learn about boundaries, and listening to what people are saying to them. How could they just ignore you telling them to stop! I have social anxiety myself, so I know a little about how dumb and crippling it can be, making even normal situations a hundred times harder and much more unpleasant than it needs to be, and a MILLION times harder and just gut-wrenchingly *awful* when there is a legitimate reason to be anxious and upset, like in your case. I hope the person apologized, and understood that what they did was wrong and not ok in any shape or form. People need to learn to respect the word no.
Take care of yourself and your mental health, relax and take it easy, and I hope you feel better soon.
They did say they'd stop after forever, it's just hard to believe that they didn't continue at home. Sigh.
Thank you
Just take all the time you need, as a fellow anxiety sufferer I can sympathize. I know rationality is no help when it comes to anxiety, but I just want to say you're not doing anything wrong by writing your stories. It takes a lot of dedication and effort to publish regularly like you've done, so be proud of yourself.
Yup!
I have anxiety too, particularly social anxiety, so I understand. I try very hard to keep as mild and forgiving a temper as reasonable, so when something goes past my boundaries usually people never expect it when I do get angry. Even if it’s an over reaction, when you feel such sudden emotions there is no controlling it in the moment. In your case, I wouldn’t even call it an over reaction because the person did not respect your feelings and direct request to stop. Even if it may seem like a weird reason to get angry to someone else, I understand completely. And I’ve always been told being able to look logically at the situation afterwards is already very good.
I really hope your love of writing is not affected by this! That’s the most important thing of all as a writer, so do whatever you have to protect your joy for writing! Just from your stories I think you are a great writer and person and I wish you only happy feelings!!!
I've often been told that people can't tell when I actually get serious/angry and only notice when I snap... It's just a really sore spot, like someone looking at your diary :<
Honestly, all the supportive comments are really cheering me up. It's super helpful because I want to keep on writing things I like for readers whose reaction to me saying I'll go on a hiatus is "We hope you're alright"
Author.. Isokay.. Be at your own pace.. And take care
Thanks C:
Mmmm. I get you. I have depression. I overanalyze. Just remember you're not alone. There are people who care about you and support you. Even if reality sometimes throws you in a loop and you feel that everything is spinning out of control, there will always be remedies to fix the situation. It's not hopeless. You just need to remember that and breathe.
Easier said than done. I'm struggling with it myself. But your stories help me a lot. They bring me joy. How do I say this? I've been in a rough spot lately and amazing stories like yours are kind of the only joy I have right now. Your stories are very precious to me. I really like them a lot. So I hope some random idiot with boundary issues wouldn't affect your love of writing.
I know this happened a while ago and I think/hope you’re better now. It’s still sucks as a fan to hear something bad happened to you
I just wanted to say, always take time for yourself and you can complain if you feel bad… it’s ok, we love your stories, but love you more, so always take care of yourself first… many virtual hugs
Stay strong even if you have overcome it and try to image a fluffy future in a western fantasy time-line where Xie Yi black magic user and Shi Yue is a White magic user/Paladin. Where the black magic of Xie Yi gives him an air of seductive-dangerous where his dangerous aura with his looks make it look really contradicting which just makes it really seductive. And together with the Knightly aura of Shi Yue makes it really hot when you put them both in a situation where you would easily misunderstand the situation.
I'm super late, but as someone with chronic anxiety to the point of having bits of grey hair at 17 and stomach problems, I. Am. Pissed. I wanna channel my inner Sadako and crawl thru their screen to hunt them...
I'm sorry that happened to you. They should respect your privacy and not force things on you that make you uncomfortable. I hope that you feel better and more relaxed. I love your story but most of all I prefer you feeling well and safe. Lots of hugs and well wishes for always
