[35] Nightmares, & A Sudden Chill
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[35]

The day passed by. 

Nikko sat back down to write a formal reply to Gaara's letter, pausing. A drop of ink hit the paper and she sighed out, "...I don't know what to say." She debated on how to answer. It was obvious she was concerned about his going to the Sound Village the most of all. While it was merely a chance that he'd encounter Sasuke, she doubted he would let Gaara pass by without testing his new skills on him, as he wanted to do.

Her purple eyes misted with tears. "Gaara-san...Sasuke...Naruto...Shika-kun..." she said their names mournfully, unable to determine which of those mentioned were who she wanted to be with--or even could be with. They all had their own strengths, and each had filled a place in her heart as if drilled. She couldn't bear to hurt none of them any longer. 

Quietly she began to write a reply, tears falling across the ink and smearing it. Nikko couldn't worry Gaara, not when he had so much he needed to do in Sunagakure. She marked out all information she wrote regarding Naruto.

Nikko recalled a method of therapy, where one writes all they want to say, but not send it. Instead, the writer keeps it themselves and reflects on their true feelings. With this in mind, she filled the page in slanted kanji, rambling on about everything she dared reveal to herself.

Eventually she had revealed herself in exhaustion and fell asleep with her head on the desk, quill in hand.

["Nikko-chan!"

The bright eyes of Naruto were the first she saw when she fell asleep. Nikko looked around, they were within Kurama's barred cell. The tall ceiling up above was lit up this time as if some yellow light had been turned on. At least this time she was clothed.

"Naru...to..." Nikko sucked in a shaky breath and skittered back in terror. "Why am I here..?"

He leaned closer and she shrieked, "No! Stay away from me!"

"Let me explain!"

Kurama, who had been listening, said to his holder, ("She is petrified.")

Seeing the fox demon was there too, Nikko covered her head. "No! Don't touch me! You've done enough!"

("I've barely started. You're already tired of this one. Pity.")

"Don't!" Nikko shook her head, as if by doing so she'd wake up, "Don't come any closer! Or I'll---I'll kill you, Naruto!I mean it!"

The fox boy froze. His heart, which had been ripped to pieces twice already, fluttered to the floor. He had asked Kurama to call her here, so he could explain himself, yet she didn't want anything to do with him. How it hurt. "Ni...kko..."

He fell to his knees in defeat. "She hates me."

("Fear can turn to hate. Humans, they're all the same.")

To Kurama Naruto said, "That's not true! Nikko-chan never hated me before! She's just...just..." his eyes drooped, "...scared. And it's all my fault. Dammit!"

Nikko looked pitiful, curled into herself and sobbing like a scared child. She wasn't the same, wouldn't be the same.

Sensing it, Naruto cracked out, "...I'm sorry."]

***

"Hyaaaah!"

Neji sprung up, pulled out kunai from the pouch beside his head and ran as fast as he could to Nikko's room down the dark hallway. He slammed the door open, seeing Nikko curled into herself in the floor. "No...No..."

"Byakugan!"

Neji couldn't see an enemy nearby, and he looked to Nikko, seeing the red chakra shining within her chest. He bent, rolling her over, "Nikko-chan. Wake up."

She wouldn't rouse. He shook her once more, before seeing it wouldn't work. The sweat on her brow leaked down as she gasped for air. "Get...away..." 

"Nikko-chan!" Neji slapped her cheek none too softly. Still she didn't respond. He didn't know what else to try, really, but grabbed her fisted hand in his. There had to be a way to wake her. He eyed the red chakra, seeing it swelling within it's seal inside her heart. "Dammit. He's trying to come out."

Neji laid her down flat on the floor and, with a swallow, tapped her chest. Luckily for her Neji had a master of his chakra control, or else both pathways would have been paralyzed. Nikko jolted as if struck as her eyes opened. "Uwah--ha---ha--"

Seeing that she was now awake, and the red chakra stopped glowing, Neji let out a shaky breath and dipped his head. "You're awake."

"Neji...Neji..."

He enclosed her into his safe arms and gently rubbed her back until she stopped crying. At last he said, "Did you have a bad dream?"

"...I thought...it would be just once..." she whispered, "...why did it happen again?"

"Tell me what happened."

She did her best to recall everything, telling him of the first time as well. When she was finished Neji shook his head. "So, in other words, it wasn't Naruto who...raped you. It was this Kurama."

"..."

"But you're terrified of Naruto-kun."

"...Yes."

"I don't blame you." He tucked her clammy face to his neck. "Don't worry. I will be here to stop it. You...should rest."

He released her and stood, but she pulled at his shorts. "Please don't go. I don't want to be alone right now...what if I end up back there?"

"I understand. Rest. I'll be here." With that said he went to her desk and sat down.

Slowly Nikko pulled herself up from the floor and went to her futon. "...Then, goodnight...Neji..."

"Yes. Goodnight."

She slept after awhile of tossing and turning. Finally. Neji sighed and stretched, his eyes glancing at the paper on the desk. There were multiple smudges here and there, and he was going to just leave it but it beckoned to him to read. With a sigh of regret he grabbed it, intending to send it to Gaara in the morning.

***

 

Morning came.

Nikko woke, ate breakfast with Neji, and said good morning to the Hyuuga's she passed in the hall. Neji was oddly quiet by her side as they went to the porch, and when she asked, "Last night...did it scare you?"

"No. I'm ready to guard you at any time." He reassured her. 

Still.

"D-Do you want to train today?" She asked. He shook his head. "...I think you need to take a break. You're pushing yourself too hard, too soon. We don't want you to collapse."

"Eh? No, I'm fine. I want to get stronger."

He lifted his hand and poked her forehead. "Did you already forget about your appointment today?"

Therapy, Nikko recalled, yes, it was today. "Oh--I'd forgotten."

Hinata walked off the steps to their left. She saw them, "Good morning, brother Neji, Nikko-chan." They replied with their own greetings, and when Nikko asked where she was going, Hinata brightened. "Oh! Uhm, I--have a mission today."

"Really? Where at?"

"Well...it's..." her light eyes darted off. "It's actually k-kind of a secret. I'm sorry."

Neji shut his eyes. No doubt it was with Naruto, and that's why she was keeping quiet. "Do us proud," he said to her.

"Yes!"

Hinata left.

Silence.

Nikko was lost in thought. She sensed Hinata was going to meet Naruto, whom Hinata admired over all. Nikko's heart squeezed; it was supposed to be her by Naruto's side, not Hinata.

Neji's hand found hers. "Perhaps you should go shopping."

That was out of the blue, Nikko thought, and really weird for him to say. He didn't look like the kind of guy who would suggest shopping. There had to be a catch. "Neji-kun, what's the catch?"

"Hm? There is no catch."

"Then..." 

He sighed. "I just thought you should have more clothing choices. That kimono you're wearing is getting thin."

She looked down. It was true. The edges of the lilac kimono were unraveling. How funny, she thought, it matches how I feel inside.

"Well...I don't have much money right now. I haven't been on a mission yet." She said, recalling her only coin left from Tsunade's payment already nearly spent.

"Nonsense. Between the two of us I'm sure we can come up with more than enough." He stood, holding out his hand. "I am a Hyuuga, after all."

"Neji-kun..." Her heart warmed. He was being so kind now, so different from before, that she blushed. "...You can't do that."

"I assure you I can do what I like. It's my money."

She couldn't really argue with that logic, and she did new a new kimono. "Alright then. If you're sure." She put her hand in his and was led down the street. They walked a few blocks, by passing the repairmen of Yamanaka Flowers, who were repairing the walls and roof after Raijin and Fujin came, before she realized she was still holding onto him. 

He hasn't let go, she thought, should I? But what if he thinks I don't like him? Or what if he thinks I do? Argh!

Thus they held hands down the street. 

It wasn't a problem, really, until Naruto showed himself. He was with Shino and Kiba, with Hinata at the background. They all had luggage on their backs and looked to be ready for a long journey.

Nikko froze in place as fear traced up her spine. "It's him..." she whispered.

Neji pulled her into the alleyway they'd just passed. It barely fit the two of them. "He hasn't spotted you." He said down to her.

"...Yes..."

That was good, Nikko thought, she didn't want to be caught holding hands with Neji. But why should she care? She didn't. So what if he was leaving with Hinata, going to make forever bonds with her? Nikko had...Shikamaru. And Gaara.

Yet...

Her chest ached. She grabbed it, not realizing Neji was observing. 

"It's for the best, Nikko-chan," he said softly. "The more you indulge him, the more the danger of the Nine Tailed will rise."

"...I know. I'm sorry. Don't worry about me."

Neji shut his eyes. He wished with all of his mind he'd not read her damn letter. He didn't know she was writing a letter to herself, but after reading it, he knew he'd never look at her the same.

He took her hand and kissed the back of it. "I do worry about you. You attract trouble more than anyone I've ever met."

Nikko's heart picked up the pace. She looked from her hand to his mouth, watching his lips form a tiny smile, his light eyes shine, catching the sunlight from above and radiate like opal. Neji was handsome, she thought, but wait--why is he kissing my hand?!

"Ah..ha...ha.." she gulped nervously.

Neji peeked from the side and saw that Naruto and company was gone. "Coast is clear."

The girl let out a sigh. A large part of her missed Naruto Uzumaki, while the other half was terrified of what he could do--had done, and trembled at the thought of Kurama and his mind controlling spit. 

They went on, passing the hot springs, and eventually made it to "Natsukashii Linen" a two story shop advertising traditional kimono on mannequins in the window, baskets of bolted fabric outside it's glass door, and flowers hanging from it's covered entrance. Neji opened the door and Nikko entered to gaze around. 

The shop was lined wall to wall with kimono is all colors, sizes, and separated for different activities; some for festival wear, others for relaxation. All the bright colors entered Nikko's head and she began to brighten as her spirits were lifted from the fog of fear and brought to reality once more. "Wow. There's so many," she remarked.

"Indeed. I imagine that's due to the hot springs being so close by." Neji replied. 

A bright girl of ten with short brown hair, wearing a pink cherry blossom yukata bowed to them. "Hello! Welcome to Natsukashii, where you can make fond memories with all of our famous designs. My name is Yuki."

"Ah...I'm Utsuri Nikko, and this is..."

"...Neji Hyuuga."

"Oh, I see! Are the two of you here to enjoy the hot springs?"

"No. Just browsing," Nikko replied. 

The girl put a finger to her lips. "Hmm, I see. Have you been married long?"

Both jumped a bit. "Married!" Neji practically yelled. Nikko quickly shook her head, "No, we're not...we're not married."

Yuki's eyes drooped in displeasure and looked at their held hands, "What a shame. Seeing the two of you here I thought you MUST be married. Are you a daughter of a feudal lord?"

"Eh? No, not at all! Just...a girl."

"Pish posh." Yuki placed her tiny hand on her hip, waving, "I've never saw such a wonderful looking pair come in." Abruptly the girl turned to the stairs at the back behind her long counter and yelled, "MA! Hey MA! We've got fancy folk!"

The second story rattled as a woman with piled up brown hair in messy chopsticks peeked at them from the bottom of the steps. She had a kimono of green silk with a peacock going up the side. Her lined blue eyes widened. "Yuki dear, that's the Bloody Beauty of Konoha." She examined Neji, "...And that is none other than Hyuuga Neji."

Yuki shrugged. "Don't know them."

Neji and Nikko looked at one another, smiling tensely. Both wished to turn around and leave but didn't want to be rude and so, stood awkwardly. 

Yuki and her mother bowed once more. "My daughter is still learning the ways," the woman said by way of explaining, "...but anyway. Thank you for coming in to our store today. Are you together or...?" Her drawn on brows lifted, eyeing their held hands suggestively.

Neji dropped Nikko's hand with a scowl. "No. We are not together. We're here just for her." 

"I see! And what kind of kimono would you be interested in?" She motioned to the nearest collection on the wall hanging, "May I suggest this one?" Her hand lifted the edge of a light blue kimono. "It would compliment that lovely skin tone and bring out the purple of your eyes."

Nikko was unsure of what to choose, and looked to Neji for help--but it was useless; Neji's cheeks were red as he sputtered out, "Don't look at me. It's your kimono."

"But...I don't know...that one is very pretty," she admitted, "...can I try it on?"

"Well...we don't normally allow people to try it on." The woman said, then tacked on, "but, since its you and Hyuuga-san, I'm sure it wouldn't hurt. Right this way, Miss."

Nikko was led to a tiny room barely the size that would fit her and the woman, and was helped into the light blue kimono. As the woman removed her lilac one, she remarked. "My! Such a figure so young. You'll bear many children, Miss."

"...It's Nikko. And...I...don't really think I'm suited to be a mother," she replied truthfully. Her gaze fell in sadness as her thoughts were on the baby which was stolen from her.

"Let me tell you something, Nikko-san." The woman turned her around, "There is no woman alive who is ready for a child. It just happens. We all go through a rough patch. I'm somewhat of a psychic, and I can tell that you will be a mother at a young age. Perhaps even by the handsome guy who's with you." She shut her eyes and nodded. "Yes. He would be a good father figure. Don't hold back your heart, okay?"

Nikko recoiled. She was here for a kimono, not a palm reading, and didn't think the woman even knew what she was talking about. Her pale cheeks bloomed so red that it wouldn't calm down even after getting fitted into the new outfit.

She left the changing room in a hurry. Neji, upon seeing Nikko's new appearance, stiffened. A thrill rushed to his core, seeing how her shoulders were exposed from the hanging neckline of the blue kimono, Gaara's tattoo visible. The breasts he knew to be endowed were plump and pushed up by the waistband and practically dared him to grab. Quickly he said, "It's no good. That will not be suitable in battle."

"Oh...I see." 

After she left to try on another one he let out his held breath. 

Eventually, after many attempts to find a 'suitable' kimono--one which would be easy to move in, and wouldn't hinder a shinobi, Nikko chose a thigh grazing yellow kimono with purple flowers on the sleeves and bottom. Neji finally approved paid the woman. He was glad it was over with as he didn't have much more reserve left if he had to keep seeing her breasts in different light.

Nikko and Neji left the shop with kimono neatly piled into the paper bag. Neji held it, and made sure too keep a good distance between the two of him. All was fine and dandy until Nikko glanced at him, saying, "Are you well?"

"I'm fine. Why?"

"Your face...it's sweating." Nikko rose her hand to his cheek, "..No fever."

He grabbed her wrist down. "Don't be ridiculous. It's just hot, nothing more."

"Oh. My mistake."

Nikko bit her lip. She was sure he wasn't feeling well but he wouldn't admit it. He was just too proud to show weakness in front of her. Perhaps she shouldn't have asked for his opinion after all. He was paler than normal, she observed, perhaps due to low blood pressure. "Neji-kun?"

"Yes."

"Would it trouble you if we ate somewhere? You see, I've worked up an appetite."

"I suppose it would be fine." 

 

 

The BBQ grill was out of the question. Nikko debated on where to go, and didn't want to even look at a ramen stall lest she remember Naruto again and fall into depression. She wished she knew of other places to go, but Nikko hadn't had much time or freedom to venture. When she grew quiet Neji said, "There's a home style cuisine place two blocks from here." 

"Oh! T-That sounds good."

...The home cuisine restaurant was an outdoor seating establishment under bright red umbrellas. There were stringing red lanterns with 'Konoha' spelled in Kanji lighting up each table, and as they sat down at a round table, a male came over. His shoulder had a towel on it and he held in his hand a writing paper. To Nikko, he said, "Welcome to Mama's kitchen. What can I get for you? Drinks? Clear miso soup? My phone number?" He chuckled, "...I'm kidding, of course."

Neji glared at the tall man. "...I would like a menu."

"I see. And for you, Miss...? Is there a name to go with that lovely face? Or can I just call you beautiful?" He giggled.

Nikko's cheeks turned as crimson as the lantern above their table, and she sputtered, "I-I'm Nikko. A-And a drink, maybe, uhm...sweet tea? With lemon?"

"Ah. A tea lover. I'll be right back, cutie."

After the man sauntered away Neji scowled and squished the tiny drink umbrella on the table in his palm. "They let just anyone work here. How...repulsive."

"He-He seemed nice," Nikko replied. 

"Don't fall for his bull crap. He's clearly trying to hit on you. You know that, don't you? He gets paid to do that." 

Nikko eyes fell. "...Is it so hard to think he'd do it because he wanted to?"

Neji, who was most observant, softened his tone immediately. He'd offended Nikko without meaning to. "He's lucky to even be in your presence," Neji replied. "I was merely reflecting on their habit of hitting on the opposite sex. It's a disgusting trait if you ask me."

"I...see." Nikko smiled gently, tilting her head at him.

In that moment Neji's heart decided it wanted to change course. From her shining amethyst eyes, to the dewiness of those dainty peachy lips, Neji couldn't look away. He wondered if they were as soft as they looked.

***

Time passed--

How much time, you ask? Perhaps three, five days, the narrator isn't too sure, but enough time that Hinata came back from her mission, and Neji and Nikko spent the days training together with his team.

One summer evening, Neji had a moment to himself and pulled out from his writing desk the letter which Nikko had written to Gaara, reading it's contents as he had for the last few days, trying to make up his mind about something. He shook his head. "I've become a fool. Plain and simple. What good would it do...to act on this?" He glanced up, "If there is a God, show me a sign...a reason not to do what I must."

He sat down. Stood up. Gazed out the window. Changed into his dark robe. 

Eventually, a knock came at the door.

"Ah, Neji-san, come look!"

Nikko's cheerful smile erased his worries. He followed after her excited tap taps and was pulled outside. "What is it?" He asked.

"Look!" She pointed up to the sky. "Isn't it beautiful?"

Neji glanced up at the full moon, glowing pink. He sighed. Nikko was a romantic, and he a believer. What a pair.

"Neji-kun?" Nikko asked, seeing his lack of enthusiasm. "Is something wrong?"

"Yes. Very, very wrong," he answered cryptically.

Her smile slid from her face. "Neji...? What is it? What's the matter?" She reached up, moving a fallen section of his hair from his eyes. He sighed. "...I read your letter. The one meant for Gaara-san."

"...You...you did? When...?"

"That's not important." 

"....I take it...you know...now..." she withdrew into herself and huddled her arms. "...I'm a fraud, aren't I? A...A freak."

"No," he automatically replied. It was now second nature to reassure her. He said, "I've been trying to ignore...it. But..." he grabbed her hand in his, gripping it. The wind picked up and whispered through the night, and he finally relented. "...I cannot remain ignorant any longer."

"I see. What...do you mean by that?"

"What I mean..." he pulled her to his chest, and smoothed down the back of her hair, "...These things that torment you. I...want to lighten that somehow. The only issue is that I don't know what to do."

"The real me died that day...I never dreamed that I'd awaken here, in this place---" Nikko admitted, "--I've become a monster, Neji. And anyone who comes near me, will catch it, too. The only help I had is gone, and I can't rely on what might happen, since...since Sasuke left me...I..." her voice dropped off. 

"...I don't pretend to understand your pain. But--" he lifted her face to his so that she could see for herself he spoke the truth, "--if you rely on me, then maybe some of it will go away."

"Neji..you shouldn't...tease me so. Please, I can't bear to--to betray anyone else..." Nikko pushed him away. "...The only end for me is death! The only answer...is death! Everyone I've ever loved in this life has become a tool for this curse to crush...you'd become crushed, too."

"To love and to lose are things humans go through in this life," Neji responded. "...To have love and lost is better, than to never love."

"You...you say that, but you wouldn't say it for long. You were right all along about me. I...I'm just a stupid girl who doesn't know what to do, and I'll get killed eventually, anyway." She backed away a few steps, and Neji moved closer. 

"...Then, let me lay my life down for you." 

He kneeled down, placing his hand on the ground. "If I were to die because I was protecting you, then I will have lived well."

"Neji---Neji...."

Nikko's sadness broke apart like a burst damn. She fell to her knees and sobbed, "Don't say that. Please! I can't...I can't let you do that. Please...don't say that again."

With a sad smile, Neji shook his head. "I've made my mind up. It won't change, even if you beg. My decision hasn't been made lightly, Nikko-chan. 'The wisest man plants a tree under which he will never sit under.'"

He stood, dusted off his hands and kneeled to the crying girl, holding out his hand. "The moon is beautiful. But it can't compare to the radiance within you."

Nikko looked at his hand, his gentle smile, and grabbed his outstretched fingers with both of hers, "Promise me---you won't die, protecting me, Neji."

"..."

"Promise!"

"..I...promise..."

The air blew cold for just a moment as Nikko was embraced by Neji. Somewhere, off in the distance, an owl sang it's night time call. The two had little idea of what had bloomed between them, but as Nikko saw the moonlight glint from Neji's eyes, she knew. "You fool," she said, "...how could you go and fall for me?"

With the ghost of smile he leaned forward. "You're mistaken. I don't fall. Whatever I do...I know where I'll land."

 

Ahh, Neji x Nikko is really growing on me. They just look so good together.

 

 

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