Chapter 9
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1.

“What are you talking about?” Steve asked.

I said, “Shanna told me that it was obvious to her that I was wrong as Adam, that I’m finally the way I was supposed to be as Amanda.”

“Do you think you are?”

I shrugged. “I dunno. I’ve never really given much thought to it. Until now, anyway. I didn’t really do much when I was Adam, did I?”

He shrugged, this time. “How can you really measure that?”

“I mean with my life. I haven’t done much with my life, have I?”

He lightly smacked me on the back of the head. “You’re fifteen! What could you have done?”

That made more sense than I was willing to admit, but I still felt conflicted about everything. Everything. Was that part of being a girl, or was I just torn between a new friend telling me that I’m better off as Amanda and my best friend telling me there was nothing wrong with Adam? I hated not knowing. I hated this whole thing. Shanna was nice, and she’d helped me out, but she put that thought into my head, and now I was going crazy.

“Yo! Studs and studdettes!” Coach Walker shouted as he walked into the gym. “Attendance time!” He rattled off the names one by one. I had to prod Steve into answering, because he was busy staring at me with a worried look on his face. “Richards!” He finally came to me.

“Here,” I said, “over here.”

“C’mon up here, Richards.”

I gulped audibly. “Good luck,” Steve said, patting me on the back. I nodded to him.

I walked up to Coach Walker and then waited for what he was going to say. He marked off a few things on the clipboard, then turned to me and said, “Were there any problems in the locker room?”

I shook my head. “Just a little thing, but it’s okay now.”

“A little thing?”

“Just a little mix-up with me and Emily.”

“Little?”

“Nothing too bad. We solved it pretty easy.”

He nodded. “Good. Change like this can often cause some major problems, I just wanna make sure you’re okay.”

You don’t know the half of it, Coach… I wanted to say that. Wanted to. I couldn’t, though.

2.

The best part of the last few days of school was that gym class was pretty much an open social period. You didn’t have to do anything, or you could do anything athletic that you wanted. If you wanted to stand around the basketball hoops and talk, you could. If you wanted to run the track outside, you could. If you wanted to do some mixture of the two, dammit, you could!

Most people, however, just wanted to stand around and talk. Nobody had a problem that they had to do it in their gym clothes. Me, I just wanted to sit off to the side. I didn’t feel like doing anything athletic. Probably had something to do with menstruating. Steve sat beside me. I could tell this was getting awkward.

“I’m sorry,” I said, nudging the conversation forward.

“For what?” he asked.

“For yesterday. When you called me Amanda. I… I shouldn’t have been so mean to you. I was just… I didn’t know how easy it was gonna be to beAmanda.”

“Whaddya mean? This,” he pointed at how I was dressed, “was easy for you?”

I shook my head. “No. Yesterday when we were together I… Felt different. I didn’t feel like Adam, and I shouldn’t have tried to be.”

“Wait, are you saying you accepted being Amanda because of us making fun of each other on your couch?”

“Does it sound too stupid to you, too?”

Yeah.”

“I’m just… Just going through a lot of different changes.”

“I know.” He sighed. “I’ve been going through a few myself.”

Wait, what? “Huh?”

“Well… Ever since Friday, I’ve felt… Different… About you.”

“Um… Are you saying you have a crush on me? Because that would be weird.”

He shrugged. “I don’t know if it goes that far, or if I’m just trying to cling to you so that we stay friends.” He shook his head. “No, really, I kinda dohave a crush on you. You’re too cute not to have a crush on you, and I know the person underneath all the cute, too, so that’s a plus.”

I blushed. He really thought I was cute? I should have smacked myself for that. Stupid, stupid Amanda. He’s your best friend! Best friend! Don’t give in to the idea of crushing all over your best friend!

“I like your nail polish,” he said. I looked down at my hands and felt a little stupid for forgetting that I’d let Melanie paint my nails this morning. What the hell was wrong with me?

“Thanks,” I said. “It doesn’t look… Wrong?”

He smiled. “No. It looks cute on you.”

Stop calling me cute!!!!! Did he want me to go nutty? I was already plenty screwed up from what Ms. Malski had told me - and she hadn’t told me my challenge, either - and now he was calling me cute, and complimenting me. It wasn’t helping my fragile state of mind.

“Um… Can you…” I started.

Stop saying stuff like that?” he finished.

“Yeah.”

He smiled. “No. Because it’s true. You’re cute, and I want you to know it.”

I sighed inwardly. This wasn’t gonna be easy, obviously.

3.

Everybody junior and under and was assembled into auditorium. The seniors were all leaving in a few days, so they weren’t invited (nyeh, nyeh!).

(Wow, that sounded ridiculous. If I wasn’t undergoing some magical gender transmorphication, I’d actually care.)

“Hey!” Melanie called, trying to get my attention. I waved back to her and then ran up to her. “So how’s your first day goin’, little sis?”

I folded my arms under my breasts. “Little sis?”

She tapped me on the nose. “I’ve wanted to call somebody that for fifteen years, you should count yourself lucky I didn’t call you that when you were Adam.” She looked past me at Steve and then smiled. “So, you two make up?”

“If you’re asking if he’s my boyfriend, the answer is no, he’s still my friend. Just because I like boys doesn’t mean I’m gonna go gaga for my best friend.”

Steve asked. “When did you start liking guys?”

I shrugged. “I dunno. I just do. It just happened.”

Melanie just shook her head. “Whatever, let’s get in here,” she jerked her thumb to the auditorium doors, “there’s some sort of announcement going on.”

We walked into the auditorium, found some seats near the back, away from everybody. I always did that when I went to see a movie or anything. I didn’t like to sit by anybody. Today, I wanted to stay away from people even more, just because I didn’t want to hear people whispering about me. There was plenty of room left over since there were enough seats for the school’s maximum student capacity, and the seniors were left out of whatever was going on here.

Mr. Malski walked onto the stage and grabbed the microphone and stand. “Hope you’re enjoying your last week of the school year, everyone. I know it’s just started today, but hopefully it’s at least some fun already.” This got him a laugh from a few parts of the auditorium. I chuckled a little. “I know a few of you have heard already, but along with this year’s seniors, I’m also leaving this Friday.”

“Ah, he’s leaving?” Steve asked. Oh crap… Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap, oh crap, oh crap, I forgot to tell him. Oh crap oh crap oh crap oh crap oh crap…

“Oh crap,” Melanie said. Clearly she and I were on the same wavelength.

“What?” Steve asked.

I wanted to bash my head against the back wall. “You’re gonna be in for a surprise in a little bit,” I answered.

“What kind of surprise?”

Mr. Malski continued: “It’s not easy for a principal to have such a good rapport with the students under his charge, but I’ve enjoyed meeting all of you, getting to know you. I’d like you to know, however, that you’ll be in quite capable hands. She’s risen up the ranks quickly, was vice principal at a nearby junior high. Nepotism doesn’t have anything to do with this, I’d like you all to meet my daughter, Samantha Malski.”

Ms. Malski walked onto the stage, all smiles. I looked over at Steve, who looked like he was about to scream. I quickly clamped my hand over his mouth and said, “Nothing here, I’ll talk to you after we’re out of here, okay? Please nod, because I really wanna take my hand away from your mouth.” He nodded. “Good.” I took my hand away from his mouth, then wiped it on his pants. “Use a breath mint every now and again.”

Ms. Malski took the microphone from her father. “Thank you, Daddy,” she said to her father. She then turned to us and said, “Yes, even women in their late twenties still call their fathers ‘Daddy’.” There were laughs. “My father’s told me a lot about you, and I hope that we can have that same relationship. I don’t officially take over as principal until next school year, but I can be found in my father’s office all week long, so if you’d like to stop in and talk, I’d love to talk to you.” She smiled, that same disturbing smile that I saw earlier. It made me shiver.

4.

“That was her!” Steve almost shouted. I motioned for him to keep it down, but it obviously wasn’t that easy for him. “Amy, that was the witch! Tell me you saw her!”

I nodded. “I saw her. I… Um… Actually saw her this morning.”

“You what?

Melanie piped in, “We both did, when we got here to explain Amy to Mr. Malski.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?” That question was directed at me. Steve didn’t have any classes with Melanie, after all, and I’d spent most of gym class just talking to him. Stupid me. Stupid stupid stupid me.

I sighed. “I’m sorry, I really should have told you, but... “ You have no excuse Amanda, so just shut your stupid mouth. You have no excuse. Don’t even try to give him one, don’t you even try - “I didn’t think about it?” Why did you have to talk?! Why why why why why why why?!?!

(Now that I think about it, why am I having a conversation with myself? What is wrong with me?)

I shook my head. “Okay, I really don’t have an excuse, I just forgot to say something.” Was that so hard? Was that so hard? I need therapy. I really need therapy.

Steve shook his head. “It’s… It’s okay, you’ve been going through a lot. So, why is she here? To keep tabs on us?”

“No. She’s really here because she’s taking over for Mr. Malski. She’s really his daughter.”

“But she was like six billion years old on Friday.”

“She said that’s just a form she takes to scare people occasionally. I didn’t wanna believe it either, but it seems like her being our new principal next year has nothing to do with the challenges.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Challenges?”

Dammit! Something else I didn’t tell him. I’m a retard, obviously. “Yeah, that’s what she told us, that this wasn’t a curse, it’s a challenge.”

“So what’s mine?”

“She said it has something to do with you overcoming selfishness.”

He scratched at his head. “Am I that selfish?”

Melanie said, “Well, if it wasn’t for you, Amy would still be Adam right now.”

“Hey, that was Stephanie who made me go after the panties!”

I sighed. “It’s not important who made us get the panties back, or whether or not I’d still be Adam right now, I’m Amanda and I don’t mind it all that much, despite the fact that using the restroom is a little awkward when you’re on your period, but that’s not all that - “

Steve cut me off. “You can have periods?”

Melanie hit him in the arm. “Girls only when it comes to menstruating, understand?” Then she hit me in the arm. “Don’t mention girl stuff to boys!”

“He has a twin sister and he’s my best friend, why would this be taboo around him?” I asked. I looked around. “Hey, where is Stephanie, anyway?”

He rubbed at the back of his neck. “Well… Last night I sorta cooked dinner after leaving your place. I may have given her food poisoning, as a result of a bad enchilada.”

“You can’t cook.”

“That’s exactly what Stephanie said when I started cooking.”

Melanie said, “That’s exactly what I said when we were in home ec last year, remember?”

He scratched at his chin. “Am I the only one who didn’t know that?”

I just rolled my eyes.

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