Chapter 13
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1.

"Amy!" Steve called out to me. He shook me out of whatever daze I was in just in time to stop me from running into the exterior wall of the gym. Ugh... Why had I done that? Oh, yeah, because I'm a damn moron. And I'm a moron because of a speech I've got to give in class because of flags. I should really get my priorities straight.

"Yeah?" I asked.

"Are you okay?"

I shrugged. "Kinda."

"What does that mean?"

"Well... I'm just... Screwed up. I feel bummed out because I have to give a speech in History class on Friday."

"A speech? That's all you have to do?"

"Well..." I rubbed at my arm. "I haven't given speeches in front of everybody since this happened."

"You'll do fine!"

I sighed. "Yeah. I'm... Sure..."

He rubbed at the back of his neck. "Um... You wanna come over to my place for dinner tonight?"

"Huh?"

"Well, my mom said last night it's been awhile since you came over, and... Well... She kinda wants to meet you."

"You mean she wants to see me as Amy for the first time?"

"Yeah."

"I... Um..."

He waved his hands in a sort of stop motion. "Don't feel like you have to, I just..."

"No! I'll come!" I was blushing. Pure, full-on, red-faced, I-clearly-wanted-him-to-like-me blushing. Why was I acting like I had a crush on him? "Getting away from my place and the school would probably help me a little bit. I'm still a little nervous about being outside my house." And there I was justifying my decision! Why was I acting like I had a crush on him?!

Steve smiled. "Thanks." Stop smiling! Stop being cute with me! Transitioning from male to female is bad enough without your best friend being endearing!

"Yep. I'm gonna head home first, I'll be there around five, okay?"

"Perfect!" He's enjoying this too much. Dammit. Dammit. Dammit. "See ya later!"

As he ran off to his house, I sighed. What was I getting myself into?

2.

Five. I had just under two hours to get ready for...

A) Dinner at a friend's place.
B) My friend's mom meeting me and probably treating me like some girl her son is dating.
C) My friend treating this like it's probably a date.
D) How I might feel because my friend will treat this like it's probably a date!

I shut the front door behind me and heard Melanie yelp in surprise. Oops! Why'd I do that? Why, why, why? I opened the door again. "Sorry. A lot on my mind."

"Yeah, and my nose clearly isn't. Look, little sister, you may not care about how you look, but that doesn't mean I don't care how I look."

"Who said I didn't care how I look?"

"Didn't you?"

"I mean... I'm not like uber-fashion oriented, but... I mean... I... I dunno, okay? I'm just really concerned."

"You mean because Steve asked you out?"

"He didn't ask me out!"

Mom walked into the living room, a cup of coffee in her hand. "Who asked who out?"

Before I could say anything, Melanie said, "Steve asked Amanda out."

"No he didn't!" I squealed. I needed to calm down and stop sounding like some nervous girl about to go on her first date - which, granted, I probably was, but still - and sound more like a confident girl about to go hang out with her best friend. That's all I wanted to be.

Why couldn't I just be that?

"Calm down, sweetie," Mom said, voicing my internal instructions. "If I were you, I wouldn't be surprised if this was a date, from his point of view."

I plopped down on the couch. "I know. I'm worried about that. I mean... He's my friend, and I don't wanna stop being friends with him. That would all change if we started dating."

"Why?" Melanie asked.

"Because it like always does."

"You two have been friends since forever, you're not gonna stop just because you're suddenly dating. Besides, dating your best friend is a great way to experience dating from the female perspective without having to meet somebody new."

"And if we ever break up, that means I lose a best friend."

Mom sat down beside me and put her arm around me. "Amanda, you need to make your decision before you set foot in Steve's house. Will he eventually be your boyfriend, or will he stay your best friend."

Oh, for chrissakes, why did I need to make this decision now?! Why can't this just be dinner at a friend's house?! Fuck!

3.

"Can I borrow some make-up?" I asked. Melanie looked surprised. "What? I don't mind make-up."

"Yeah, but for somebody who doesn't want to date her best friend, I'm surprised you're asking."

"I still wanna look presentable. I'm not going all out with like mascara and eye shadow and all that."

"So, what's your plan?" she asked, a big wide smile on her face. She was enjoying this. Aw, my little sister wants to wear make-up to her flirst date! Yeah, shut up Head-Melanie. Great. I have a Head-Melanie. This is starting to get annoying.

"My plan is to hang out with Steve, but I still look like I just got out of bed, so... I wanna look more presentable."

She shoved me into the chair at her vanity. "And what if this turns into more than just hanging out?"

I groaned. "Can't we just get off of that? This isn't a date, as far as I'm concerned, okay?"

"Look, Amy, I've gone on more than one 'not-a-date', and when you and a guy have a strong connection, it's hard to avoid the eventual moment when you're sitting next to one another and suddenly your lips are touching his and you wonder if you're wearing the lipstick he likes on you and this and that and all this other stuff that runs through your head because you're kissing a guy you like." She handed me a tube of lipstick. "Hope he likes dark purple."

I sighed. "Are you just handing me this because it's the lipstick I wore on Sunday?"

"Duh."

"And because I told you that Steve likes it?"

"Double duh."

"And because you're having fun with this?"

"Triple duh." She sat down on her bed. "How would you even deal with having a boyfriend, anyway?"

I turned toward her. "Whaddya mean?"

"You never had a girlfriend. Never. Have you even gone on a first date?"

I blushed. "Yeah!"

"With who?"

I rubbed at my arm. "Um... Nobody..."

"See? This isn't just new to you because you're a girl, dating is new to you in general."

"No, it's not. I've watched TV, I've just never actually been on a date."

"So how are you gonna deal with this? You could be coming home tonight with a totally different relationship with Steve, something that'll change your lives forever. How is this going to affect you?"

I raised an eyebrow. "Weren't you basically telling me to go out with him earlier?"

"Kinda, but that's not important. The important thing is your emotional state."

"How does my emotional state come into this now?"

"Because it's pretty obvious that even if you're not head-over-heels for him, you like Steve simply because he's your friend. You're gonna be emotional around him no matter what because you're an emotional person, you have been even when you were Adam."

"I'm not that emotional."

"When you were six, you cried when you couldn't spell 'Spaghetti-Os' with your Spaghetti-Os."

"I was six! I cried when an episode of Barney was over!"

"And I never did, that's my point. About the biggest difference between Adam and Amanda are boobs and a vagina, and you've always been emotional. Even if you don't start dating Steve today, you're gonna feel different about him. How are you going to deal with that?"

I leaned back in the chair and took a deep breath. "So, you're kinda saying that if I don't start dating Steve today, I probably will at some point just because he and I are friends and I like him?"

Melanie shrugged. "I'm just saying that it's a good possiblity that your relationship with your best friend will change tonight, and you need to be ready for that, because if it changes one way, that raises the chances that it'll change for the worse later on." She stood up and reached into a dresser drawer. "Now that that's out of the way, I have something I want you to do." I nearly shivered at the smile on her face.

4.

Don't think about, don't think about it, don't think about it, don't think about...

I rang the doorbell at Steve's place and stood there, nervously. Neither Steve's mom or his sister had seen me since this whole thing started, and that scared me. That actually scared me more than whether or not Steve considered this a date. How would I act around the family of the boy who potentially wants to date me?

The door opened and Stephanie stood there, looking like she was ready to laugh. "What?" I asked.

"I seriously thought Steve was lying when he told me you were a girl."

"Really?"

"Yeah! I thought he was just bullshitting me because I was sick."

Oh, thank Christ... At least I'm okay around Stephanie. "And when he told you I was coming over for dinner?"

"I was gonna tease you guys about being gay, but I guess if you're a girl, Steve's not gay."

"Can I come in now?"

Stephanie moved out of the way and I walked in and immediately felt even more nervous. And now I was thinking about it! Why, why, why, whydid I let Melanie talk me into this? Why did I let myself let Melanie talk me into wearing a frickin skirt to this dinner? I've never worn one before, but now I was, and now I felt awkward as hell.

"Hey, Steve! Your boyfriend's here!" Stephanie shouted. I shot a glare at her. "What? It's my last chance, okay? Just lemme treat him like he's gay one more day, please?"

"But he's not."

"I know, as weird as that sounds. I've been teasing him about it for awhile, because he only hangs out with you."

"I think TV Tropes calls that heterosexual life partners."

She shook her head. "I don't care what the internet calls it, I just like teasing him for it."

I sighed. "Just don't tease me."

She held up her hand in a Boy Scout's salute. "Promise between women, I'll leave you alone."

"I'm holding you to that."

"You know there's no promise between women, right?"

"I don't care. You promised, I'm holding you to it."

"Fine."

"Seriously."

"I get it."

I sighed again. This might be a long night.

5.

"So, Amanda, how has your transition been?" Mrs. Burke (Steve's mom) asked. The question kinda caught me off guard. Was she talking about my actual change, or my lie at school that I was transgender? (Now that I think of it, is that really a lie? Ah, determining that isn't important right now.) Did she know about the curse?

I gulped down the bite of tomato I had in my mouth and said, "I'm doing fine. It's not easy, but, I'm managing. I get a lot of mean looks, but not too many insults or anything." I took another bite. "Well, not when I'm in the room, anyway."

Steve looked a great deal more nervous than I felt right now. He seriously looked like he was going to pee his pants.

"You're an amazing young woman, Amy," Mrs. Burke said, "it takes a lot of courage to come out and admit to the world that you were born wrong." Okay, so Steve likely told her the lie. Good, now I can bumble through it here, in my best friend's house. "And to embrace it so fully. I'm sure there are quite a few transgender people who wouldn't wear a skirt less than a week into their transition."

Yay, she noticed... Ugh... "I didn't actually want to. Melanie tricked me into it." I blushed. "I feel really awkward wearing a skirt."

Stephanie leaned over the table. "It gets way, way easier. Trust me. Leg freedom over tight jeans any day, sister."

I smiled. It wasn't getting any easier so far, but, this was also my first time wearing a skirt. I kinda hoped it wouldn't, but I was already getting very used to wearing bras after only four days.

"You're being awfully quiet, big brother," Stephanie said to Steve. "What's up?"

He shrugged. "I'm just... Y'know..."

"It's okay to be nervous, honey," Mrs. Burke said. "It's not every day you invite a pretty girl over for dinner." She said that with a smile. Great. He probably told everybody but me that this was likely a date.

"Mom!" Steve nearly shouted. He was beet red.

His mom was laughing. "Honey, I'm just joking." She turned to me. "Amanda, before you came over, Steven expressly stated more than once that this wasn't a date between you two, I'd just like you to know that. His sister and I are just teasing him about this whole thing."

"I can't say I wouldn't do the same thing if Melanie actually had a friend come over," I said, then I looked over at Steve and said, "Sorry."

He shook his head. "No. I guess I deserve this for asking a girl to dinner. Even if she's been my best friend for years."

Stephanie smiled. "It's not every day your boyfriend becomes your girlfriend, though."

"Steph!"

"What? Adam was a boy, right? Was your friend, right? Amanda's a girl, right? And she's your friend, right? Adam, boyfriend. Amanda, girlfriend. Just because I'm saying girlfriend doesn't mean I'm saying she's your 'girlfriend', in the dating sense."

Oh, dear Christ, this conversation is getting embarrassing. And I'm not even the one being teased!

"Besides, I kinda think you're an idiot for not asking Amy out."

Was he? I'm still semi-male (for, like, six more hours, anyway), so, I could easily understand why he'd be uncomfortable asking me out, plus there was that stigma of all the people at school who still think I'm a crossdresser pretending I'm a real girl.

Wow. This almost seems like I'm just watching this event, as opposed to quietly eating my steak right beside it.

And then she said this: "And when I was talking to Melanie on the phone last night, she said the same thing."

Whoa, now I'm interested. "What?" I asked.

"Yep, Melanie thinks that you two would make the perfect couple."

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