1.

It was time. My History grade depended on it. I needed to do this right. Very, very right. Very, very right. Yeah, okay, I really do have weird thoughts and put too much emphasis on certain things.

Anyway, in order to do this right, I had to wait for everybody else. Kenny Williams picked the Canadian flag, because he was from Canada and because he liked their sense of peace and universal healthcare. Sarah Williams (no relation to him, apparently) picked the Swedish flag, for some reason I wasn’t really paying attention to because she also dove straight into her dating profile for any single boys who want a hot summer date (I hope I’m never like that). Billy Kerrigan chose the New Zealand flag for yet another reason I wasn’t really paying attention to because every other sentence involved The Hobbit trilogy. Some people picked weird things for what a flag “meant” to them.

“Ms. Richards?” Mr. Greene called my name. It was time. I had to do this. My entire History grade was cou - 

Shut up, Amanda, and get to it!

I hated my brain.

I sighed, stood up, and walked to the front of the classroom. Deep breath, Amanda, deep breath. I put my little printed out Rainbow Flag on the whiteboard with a magnet. “This is the Rainbow Flag,” I started. Some people were already trying to hide laughter. “It’s the symbol of the LGBT community, and I picked this flag because, as a transgender girl, well, it means a lot to me that people in my community are treated equally.” Everything I said sounded like it was stolen from a thousand different speeches from people who actually meant their words. I took another breath.

I continued, “When I was a boy, I didn’t mind my life. I got up, went to school, hung out with my friends, went to bed, rinse, repeat. It was a normal life, it was okay.” Some people were still disguising their laughter. Yay. “Then, one day, I realized that Adam Richards wasn’t right. I got up every day and went though my life exactly like I said: Rinse and repeat. Everything was so basic and so nothing that I felt like I wasn’t really living so much as going through the motions of somebody else’s life.” Did I suddenly sound more confident? I think I did. People were still laughing lightly, but I didn’t care. “I decided that day that I’d stop being Adam and be who I really felt like I was, and that’s who I am now.”

Jenny Gunther raised her hand. “How did you know you’d feel better as a girl?”

I shrugged. “I didn’t, at first. It took me a little while to realize that it was my... “ I expected the laughs for this one, “...Boy parts…” and there they were, “...Were the cause.” I could have said penis, but people would have laughed equally as hard, so I just said boy parts. I felt no shame. “But when I did, I went to my sister, and together, we went to our parents. I owe my sister a lot of thanks for what she did to help me.” I chuckled. “She’s the best sister ever, and I’m not just saying that.”

That sounded a lot more real than it was.

2.

Steve grabbed me around the waist and held onto me while I was cleaning out my locker. “You look like you just won a gold medal, how ya doin’?” he asked.

“I did great on my speech. A+.”

“That’s great, Amy!”

I lightly elbowed him to get him off of me. He took the hint. “Yeah, it is. I’m also the only one that got an A+. A lot of other people got A’s, but I’m the only one that got an A+.”

“You’re saying that like it’s a bad thing.”

I shook my head. “No, it’s not. I just don’t get why I’m the only one that got an A+. A lot of other people did that good, too.”

“Mr. Greene just thought you were the best, that’s all.” He turned me around and pushed me back against the locker, gently. “Amy, just because you’re the school’s only transgender girl doesn’t mean you can’t also be the coolest, greatest student.”

“I’m not, though. Dean’s supposedly the valedictorian this year.”

“Yeah, I heard about that.”

“He… Kinda said something weird to me during Homeroom.”

Steve looked surprised. “You mean Dean Garnet was capable of talking to you like a normal human being?”

“Yeah, but I don’t know what to make of it.”

“What’d he say?”

I shrugged. “That’s just it, I don’t really know. It was mostly his tone, he kinda sounded like he was gonna tell me he was gay before he was cursed.”

“Considering how many girls he’s dated, that would surprise me. Stephanie said he was one of her better boyfriends.”

I sighed. “I dunno. Maybe I was just reading too much into it.”

Steve smiled. “Hey, don’t worry about it.” He quickly changed the subject. “So, are you going to that stupid dance in a little bit?”

I nodded. “Yeah. Melanie’s making me go. She says I need to wear a dress.”

“You? In a dress? You looked so uncomfortable in a skirt the other day at my house that I thought you were gonna go nuts.”

“I get nervous wearing that stuff in public, y’know? I mean, I wear nighties to bed, and dresses are pretty much the same, but that’s to bed. I don’t wear them with all my friends around.” I sighed again. “I dunno. Do you think I’d look cute in one?”

He kissed me on the cheek. “I think you look cute all the time, so I’m not one to ask about that.”

I smiled now. “You’re just sayin’ that because you’re my boyfriend.”

“No, I woulda said that if we weren’t dating. I’m mainly saying it because it’s true, but I’m also saying it because I’m your best friend.” He grabbed me by the waist again. “If you’re going, I guess I’ll go, too. I don’t want you dancing with any other guys, after all.”

“Jealous much?”

“A little. You are the hottest transgender girl I’ve ever dated.”

“I’m the only transgender girl you’ve ever dated.”

“Point taken. See ya then.” He gave me another kiss on the cheek and then left me to go to his locker. I sighed. At least he’d be there to make me feel better if I made a total ass of myself.

3.

“You look relieved,” Melanie said when she caught up to me after History class.

“I feel relieved. Nobody laughed loudly at my speech. I’m never doing one again for as long as I live, but at least it wasn’t as painful as I thought it’d be.” I sat down on a bench in the school lobby. Only twenty minutes before the school dance started. Urgh…

“So,” she said, holding up her book bag, “you ready to get changed?”

“You’re really gonna force me to do this, aren’t you?”

“Of course I am.”

I sighed. “Fine. Let’s get this over with.”

4.

Melanie was smiling like a lunatic. She grabbed me by the arm, dragged me to the nearest restroom and blocked the exit. She really couldn’t wait for this. I could, but then again, I’d never worn a dress or heels before.

Actually, the heels scared me more than the dress.

I took off my shirt, my shorts and my socks, then pulled the dress on. It felt so weird to be wearing it. Luckily, it wasn’t backless or strapless or anything, so I got to keep my bra on. I don’t know if I could deal with wearing a dress and letting my boobs flop around underneath. It’d probably feel weirder than simply wearing the dress.

Next, I used the door of a stall to balance myself as I put the heels on. I needed to take a deep breath before and after each one, goddamn nervousness… I took a few practice steps in them so that I could get the hang of walking in them. Thankfully, Melanie picked low heels, because I don’t know if I could have handled the ones I saw her putting on. Hilariously, the only benefit here for her (other than seeing her little sister in a dress and heels), was that she was now one inch taller than me. Even as a girl, I was still taller than her.

“Ready for your make-up?” Mel asked. She was really having fun with this.

“C’mon, I’m already wearin’ the dress and the heels, make-up, too?”

“I thought you liked make-up?”

“I don’t hate it, but I’m already wearing lipstick, isn’t that enough?”

She was smiling like a demon again. “Nope. If my baby sister is going to her first dance, she’s going there looking the best she possibly can.”

I was going to regret this day for the rest of my life, I was sure.

5.

This was it.

My moment of absolute total fear and horror.

The moment my fate as a member of the female sex would be decided.

All of this past weird week was leading up to this moment.

And nobody was paying me any more attention than anyone else.

The gym was crowded as hell, lots of people dancing to whatever was playing (I think it was Imagine Dragons, but I wasn’t quite sure, because a few of their songs sounded like deeper Linkin Park songs), others over by the punch bowl just talking (and probably spiking it with liquor, knowing our football team). I caught sight of Dean off in a corner by himself. His compulsions thanks to his curse had gotten him into a dress, too, though his was a lot more revealing than mine, and his heels were higher.

Melanie was having a ball just dancing by herself, so I sort of drifted off toward the punch bowl. Pretty much every girl was in a dress, and pretty much every guy was wearing plain clothes. I was one of the few girls who was wearing heels, though, so Melanie was full of shit when she told me I couldn’t wear tennis shoes with a dress. At one point, I glanced over at the corner Dean was in, but he wasn’t there anymore. Maybe he found somebody to dance with.

Maybe he just left.

I was sipping on my fifth cup of liquor-spiked punch (I was a little tipsy, I don’t think they put as much into this bowl as they usually did) when somebody tapped me on the shoulder. I turned around and nearly drowned on some punch when I saw Steve standing there wearing a tuxedo. “Tell me, cutie pie, have any guys tried to dance with you yet?” he asked. He looked so damned good, it was amazing.

“You rented a tuxedo for this? Did Melanie tell you to do this?”

He shook his head. “Nope. And I didn’t rent this, it was my dad’s prom tux. It still smells like the 80s.”

“You wore that for me?”

“I brought it in case you were going, whether you were wearing a dress or not. I gotta say, though, you look gorgeous in that. Melanie was right about that much, at least.”

I blushed - well, if you could tell, anyway. “Thanks.”

“So?” He held out his hand and almost immediately, slow dance music came on. “May I have this dance, Ms. Richards?”

I smiled. “You certainly may, Mr. Burke.” I took his hand and pulled closer to him. This may sound like the sappiest romance story ever, and it kinda felt that way, too, but I didn’t care. I was dancing with my boyfriend, and even if I was wearing a ridiculous dress and he was wearing a tuxedo that really did smell like it crawled out of 1985, I was loving every second of it.

When the song ended and Steve kissed me, I finally felt like this whole weird week, this whole outrageous journey, this whole learning experience of becoming female, was finally over.

And off to the side was Melanie and Stephanie, high-fiving themselves.