Turns out messing with mana was my biggest mistake in this life.

Two years have passed since I was born. My name in this world is Luke Drachion, the second son of duke Liam Drachion. Well, being born in nobility is nice.

At least, it would’ve been if I weren’t sick all the time. When I was about a day old, I tried moulding mana, like all isekai protagonists do. I succeeded but it came at a heavy price. I wasn’t able to control it at all. It ran rampant within my body.

Turns out, kids practising mana is something which is strictly prohibited, since their bodies aren’t developed enough to handle it.

I had no fucking clue about this. I thought the being would have made prior arrangements in this regard. But it feels like I  was scammed. You know, maybe this could be my hell, I am in another world but just as I grow up and try to do anything meaningful I die. Maybe I am living in a hell loop like the one portrayed in lucifer.

I don’t know what to do at this point, I have had fever for almost a year now. Any normal kid would have died. I was about to be two. I had no clue what was going around me, most of my strength went up in fighting the fever. Maybe I should give up and just die. That’s what I say but I am a tenacious bastard, the feeling of death is traumatising I don’t want to experience it again. I’d rather endure this torture.

I am three now. No improvement in my condition. Although, I am able to retain my consciousness enough now to be able to hear people around me.

They called my condition - Mana sickness. Basically, sometimes children loved by mana are born. However, as they cannot control it, they always die. However, I wasn’t born mana - sick. I just fucked up.

But more importantly, when they die, they go boom. I am a ticking mana bomb, just waiting to blow off.

Conveniently, a war had started between whatever the fuck this kingdom I called and some other kingdom. As I said I am barely conscious most of the time, so I still don’t know rat shit about this world.

I heard my father talking with my grandfather about tossing me into a battlefield and kill me to blow me up. Not the most pleasant thing to hear. My grandfather was opposed to it and had an argument with my father. I don’t know what conclusion they came to, since I lost my consciousness somewhere along their conversation.

I am pretty sure, I was scammed by that being. If you think logically, why would any god allow any otherworlder a lot of power to do whatever they want in their world. Doesn’t make any sense.

If I am being honest, my second life was more depressing than the first. Today, I heard my mother agreed, to use me as a bomb, and she did so without any opposition.

This bitch. All the sweet smiles and stuff, it was all fake. They only liked me as long as I was normal. Bunch of motherfuckers.

You know how people say you only value something after you lose it. I realise it now. My real family(of my previous world) actually did care for me, at least to the extent of not letting me die.

I haven’t seen much of my brother recently either, well who would’ve thunk?

The only who has stayed by my side all along is my grandmother. My mother mostly gave up on me upon learning about my mana sickness. My grandmother also opposed my father and mother, to use me as a nuke. But turns out my shitty dad calls the shots around here.