Introduction and Reincarnations 1 to 5
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--- Zaria's Reincarnation Office ---

Zaria was not sure how she got roped into this job.

It was one of the largest reincarnation hubs in this multiverse. Reincarnations happened into the various connected worlds. There were many of them.

Normally orientation and job training alone took a good century. There were after all worlds, systems, gifts, cheats, limits, and paperwork to cover.

Zaria however got whisked off and seated behind a computer and handed a few towers of files.

So she cheated.

A bunch of Zarias and a lot of time manipulation later she had a sort of an idea about what to do. Technically she knew more about fate and she could always cheat by drawing onto Aspect level knowledge.

It was time to get to work, and here her first customer was arriving.

--- 1 ---

Last thing he remembered was pain then everything seeming to blur away.

Now he was sitting on a chair in an office with nine tailed albino kitsune on the other side of an office desk.

"Morning, you died, you shouldn't have, but it happens, there is a reason for free will and chaos after all, the original plans were different but really, why give free will if everything is predetermined."

"So do I get reincarnation?" The boy seemed to perk up. "Is it in another world? Will I keep my memories?"

"Sure, I can do that. Hmm, karma values are low. I got a spot as a piglike animal in a swords and sorcery world, and a spot as a dog in a sci-fi world."

"What?"

"You are so boring that unless you take the random reincarnation with a memory wipe, I feel like it would be a waste to reincarnate you into a sentient being." Zaria responded without mercy.

"What?"

"You play games, your only friends are gamers, and even then you only play games, you spend all your money on games, your grades were average, your looks were an unkempt average, you are below average at sports, your social skills are almost zero, you have no libido, you are simply a waste of air. The world aside from your family and your raid partners won't realise you are gone."

He felt stabbed, he wanted to get angry, but each word had been accompanied by a memory or an impression.

"Does that mean cheat reincarnations don't exist?"

"Naturally they exist, but not like in fiction. You actually have to work for power, since a god offering an op power would cause an opposing god to offer such to one of his followers, and lets say there are plenty of worlds where the 'blessed ones' are the only ones left after destroying everything else including the gods. Often they realise how to escape from their world, and then run into something they can't destroy, since different worlds have different rules." Zaria shrugged. "Or I get called in to deal with the issue."

The boy felt an ominous chill. "Any recommendations on what I should do?"

"Take the normal reincarnation." Zria pulled a sheet out. "Or you can get turned into a girl and play the plot of a bad romance novel. You get a resistant body and holy magic cheat, but well .... the plot wants you to marry the prince and have a harem of others, and you have high chances for getting raped a lot. And once you are married, you are supposed to satisfy your harem of eager men."

"No thanks."

"Thought so."

"One normal reincarnation please."

"Sign here."

--- 2---

"Oh, I am dead?"

"Yes, you are. You are one really unlucky one."

"That was my life."

Zaria looked at the broken, tired, and abused soul before her.

"Would you like to be a flower spirit after your mindwipe, or a hot stud born to rich parents? Well, at least according to genetics you have a high chance to become a model. And finally a position as a dark spirit, you would keep your memories since well, negative emotions empower this type, you would be a humanoid spirit haunting a graveyard in the middle of nowhere."

"I'll take the last one, you know think things over until someone kills me, maybe I'll be ready for something nicer next time."

"Please sign this document."

--- 3 ---

"Yes, this is the reincarnation in another world."

"Congratulations, you were chosen to reincarnate as useless village idiot K, your role is to die either as plot fodder or to die in an embarrassing way that makes everyone laugh."

"No, no, that is not how reincarnation is supposed to work."

"Do you work in the reincarnation office, or do I? If everyone had a heroic cheat reincarnation, then we'd only have those."

"But what about me?"

"Let's see, a pervert, bad grades, wasting money, spying on the girls, stealing panties, I see nothing worth reincarnating. As an alternative there is the random mindwipe reincarnation. When it's your turn you reincarnate into the next open spot, which can be anything sentient, be it insects, plants, dragons, whatever."

"I'll take that."

"Please sign here."

The boy then pulled another sheet to him and quickly signed that.

"Welcome to an isekai with memories, though you will wish you didn't. You are a born and bred sex slave now."

"What? No no no, that has to be a mistake."

"Read it."

The boy felt sick as he saw the most probable paths listed on the document.

"I had that thing lying around for a hundred years, since there is nobody I would want to force into that. Thank you for being your normal stupid self. Goodbye, as your cheat I guess I should give you pain is also pleasure and evertight."

--- 4 ---

"Guah?"

Zaria wondered what to do with the baby that was currently chewing on her tail.

"I guess normal reincarnation is fine, no memories worth wiping. Hmm, actually there it is. Modest parents, trying for a child, loving, path prognosis mostly positive until adulthood, change of gender to male. Let's go with that, release my tail for a moment. I need a handprint."

--- 5 ---

Zaria hated moments like these.

A school class gets killed and then called as heroes in another world.

"Shut up everyone. You are dead, a crane fell onto the train car you were seated in, before you wonder, Misaki survived, will be paralysed for life. Shinji survives too, but is stuck in the smelly toilet for hours, getting some trauma from that."

She waited for the cries and outrage to die down.

"You are all going to be summoned. Yes, this is a reincarnation into another world isekai. No, true cheats don't exist, since that would unbalance the world. You can ask for stronger powers, but if you do, they always come with a negative. No, it is not a game world, so no levels or character sheets, status magic and the like."

"I want to be a hero!"

"Hero is a title, that means you need to do something heroic."

"I want mind control magic."

"I can give you an affinity, but you need to learn it, which, looking at you, you are not suited for at all. Mind Magic requires you to understand people, understand how they think, emphasise, and then slip in and add or change whatever you want. Considering how bad you are at empathy and understanding others? It's hopeless."

"I will make it work."

"There, done."

"Can I be a princess?"

"Let me see, yes, but I doubt you want the spot, the next princess is about to get married to an old pervert."

"No thanks."

"I want to be in a nice family."

"Are commoners okay? They are friendly, loving, and you will be one of five children."

"I'll take it."

"I want magic."

"Generally magic or any specific kind."

"Something powerful."

"Then you need to train. I can give you general aptitude or a specific one, but you need to learn magic on your own."

"Just give me powerful magic."

"Hell magic, here you go. It's one of the most powerful, but unfortunately there are no teachers for it."

"Why did she get to reincarnate into a family, I thought we were getting summoned."

"She asked for it?"

"Why are we becoming less and less?"

"I am removing those that decided on something."

"What would be good for me?"

"Honestly? Skip the hero thing and become a fairy, you are simple minded, friendly, like flowers and plants, like cute things, and like parties."

"You can do that?"

"I will take it, sounds fun."

"Yes you can. She asked so I suggested it. I just need to fill the minimum quota of at least 6 summoned 'heros'."

"I don't want to fight."

"I can boost your magic towards healing, or put you somewhere else entirely."

"What would suit me?"

"Normal commoner, you'd be the type to be a good mother."

"Yes please."

"What about me?"

"I can rework you to give you skills in alchemy, you like the natural sciences and puzzles, so alchemy is my recommendation."

"What about me?"

"Either become a 'summoned hero' or I can put you into the family of some corrupt and greedy nobles."

"Keito-kun is not like that!"

"He dates the popular girl openly, but plays around with others, he dislikes anyone with a different opinion, he wants everyone's attention on him … sorry but it suits him perfectly." Zaria sighed. "He might seem nice and all, but the truth? You don't want to know, he even shares his girls with his friends."

The girls moved away from the popular boy.

"I'll take the family."

"Have fun."

"I never liked him."

"I agree, so what do you want to be like?"

"I don't care?"

"In that case, summon, tree spirit, or dragon?"

"Why is a dragon in the selection?"

"Older dragons tend not to care about other creatures."

"Why not, let's do this."

"Antisocial dragon inbound."

"What about me?"

"You'd make a great princess, but the job sucks. Politics, backstabbing, getting married off, and always in the spotlight."

"I'll try it."

"No trying, do or don't, no refunds."

"I'll do it."

"Have fun~"

It went on and on.

"I don't want to go there."

"Want to get a memory wipe and enter normal reincarnation?"

"You can do that?"

"Yes. Or, there is a position open at the reincarnation office. Which means you take over my place, I am actually only filling in right now."

"I'd have to reincarnate people?"

"After job training."

"Can I really?"

"You are the sensible type, so yes."

"And if I fail?"

"Either we find something you are good at in heaven or hell, or you can simply go and reincarnate randomly."

"I'll do it."

"You are hired. Sign here, I'll ask an angel to lead you to the HR office."


Thanks to my discord and my discord editors.

Spoiler

Discord: [link]https://discord.gg/chtmk3t[/link]

[collapse]

New shorts, Zaria as the one in charge of reincarnating others

Poll: Want to get reincarnated by Zaria?
1: Nope, basic course please.
2: What could go wrong?
3: Yes!
4: Not interested in the topic.

Want to get reincarnated by Zaria?
  • 1: Nope, basic course please. Votes: 6 6.8%
  • 2: What could go wrong? Votes: 54 61.4%
  • 3: Yes! Votes: 27 30.7%
  • 4: Not interested in the topic. Votes: 1 1.1%
Total voters: 88
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