--- 6 ---

(Fellow Fluff Lover - requested by SoulLessCamper)

"I am dead, aren't I?" The soul looked around, eyes fixating on the ears and tail.

"Yes you are, this is not heaven before you ask. This is the reincarnation hub."

"Like in those isekai novels?"

"Yes, main difference is the chance for a real cheat and or keeping your memories is something like 0.00000000000000000000000000001%."

"Ohh." The soul nodded in agreement. "Why an office then?"

"Depending on karma you get a potentially better starting point." The albino explained. "In your case, lots of positive karma animals of the fluffy kind. Your main dream was a cute catgirl lover, despite that you made your girls always very happy." Zaria read from a file.

"Can I reincarnate to a world like that?"

"Yes, there is a mediaeval world available, you would be the son of a rich merchant. A lot of fluffy employees are working for your family. Your future maid and wetnurse is a big moo."

The soul made an interesting noise.

"The next is a harsher sword and sorcery world, you would start as a girl with your neighbours being rabbits on one side and cats on the other side. Personally, I don't recommend it."

"Harsh how?"

"Slavery, might makes right, the body has low base potential."

"Sounds bad."

"Yes it does. Then a pre interstellar flight world. You would be a half beargirl yourself, cute rounded ears according to genetics. First real vrmmo games will appear soon, the quality will be debatable though, as will the body disassociation. Really humans are not meant to change shape."

"So no?"

"I think it is a nice world, how nice depends on the life you and those around you lead. Chaos theory and free will are the biggest enemies of those wanting to predict everything."

"Potentially yes then."

"Finally a sci-fi world with interstellar travel, you know the artificial gravity type and overpowered weapons and FTL starship level sci-fi that most worlds can't support due to laws of physics."

"And what about the fluff?"

"One, we need a position for a future female ship captain to make first contact with space cat and space dogs that are waging war, calm them down and you have more tails and rougher than human tongues to take care of then you could ever satisfy. Two is a few years down the line cat family on cultural exchange in dog territory, you'd be female. The reverse is also available, only you would be a male dog in cat territory."

Zaria smirked evilly. "If you want furry I have tons of more choices available."

"No thank you, let me think for a bit."

"Time is irrelevant here. Have fun deciding."

"I'll take this one."

"Sign here and have fun~"

--- 7 ---

(by tora from discord)
(TT RPG convention centre gets hit by a massive accident, another round of going through a lot of people.
Or alternatively a full group of TT RPG dies while playing by some random bullshit ?)

Zaria widened her office, it was a group death again.

She suspected this group would be easier to sort than most others.

A group of souls manifested.

"Welcome you are all dead."

The usual outcries followed.

"As such you are going to reincarnate."

The outcries changed to curious noises.

"Now, base reincarnation is always an option. Enter the cycle, and become anything alive in a random world, plants, insects, animals, humans, humanoids, monsters, AIs, it is all in there. Or, we can make things interesting, I have folders with positions that need to be filled, positions that need a personal touch for one reason or another. The genres if you want are mediaeval, swords and magic, more or less your worlds 1860 and 2010 equivalents, hard sci-fi, overpowered sci-fi. Feel free to pick your role, however your memories will be wiped and you won't get any cheats."

Huge towers of folders appeared and most went to their favourite genres. A few went to complain to Zaria.

"How did we die?"

"Plane crashed, it flew straight into the convention hall. Your group got one hit aoe wiped."

"Can you wipe my hard drive?"

"Fine, as a special bonus I will delete your porn and hentai folders."

"I didn't want to die a virgin."

"Pick something with an increased chance of getting laid for your next life, if you want something special, I have a slot for a tentacle monster somewhere."

"The breeding or fuck all kind?"

"Fuck all."

"Give me." "I want." "Mine!" "I asked first."

"You, sign here, have fun."

"Those of you that found what they found, just sign it, and you will be off."

From the sword and magic group came an evil cackle. "Yes, orc near an elven village, elven knights, here I come."

There was a squeal from the more modern group and two girls dragged a boy from the mediaeval group over. "Look, a spot for a boy with two female childhood friends, isn't it perfect?" The boy did not seem to agree, but was clearly resigned to his role.

"Deep space here I come, heir to a space pirate family."

"Just wait, clone created for the space police with superior genetics."

"Damn it!"

Zaria nodded satisfied. Real rpg players, like tt or p&p players, were so much more sensible than gamers, otakus, or 'normal' people.

"As my special item I pick you!" One of them declared.

Zaria replied flatly. "Congratulations, you wasted your item voucher, I am not an item."

"Noooooo"

"I have a skill voucher, I pick 'seduce reincarnation office administrator'

"Congratulations, you wasted it as well, it will be added to our skills once you reincarnate, also, skills get wiped when you die."

"Nuuuhhh"

"May I touch your tail?"

"Lovers only."

"Aaaawwww~"

"Excuse me, I don't understand this magic potential parameter."

"Ahh, that potential is the growth rate when training magic. This one has great potential, but since growth is based on base magic which is almost zero, going magic means endless harsh training or it is a waste. However, we can tweak the base potential a bit if you take some kind of demerit."

"Hmm, min max works for games but not real life, how does clumsy and short attention span sound?"

"Doable, but alchemy in that world is a precision thing as is enchanting, are you fine without those?"

"Yes!"

"Then let's triple your base magic. Now sign here."

"I want more beauty, as demerit make me a futanari."

"That is not a demerit for you."

"Tsk."

"What would I have to pick to get a chance to date you?"

"Be female, fluffy, and interesting."

"I think I saw something like that somewhere."

"I want something that has a low chance of death by accident like this time."

"Deep cave slime. You have a chance of living for a few centuries without anything being interested in you or fighting you."

"Sounds lazy."

"It is, main food is cave moss."

"Lazy life here I come."

"Have fun?"

"I can't decide!" An outcry came from a woman. "Alien Waifus or cute elven shotas."

The remaining group started discussing both.

Zaria hugged her tail amused. Real rpg players were really much better than other groups.

Bit by bit the group dwindled. 100 became 60. 60 became 30 who were pouring through everything available in detail and 'trying to optimise their builds'.

Finally there were five left.

One was staring at Zaria's tail.

Two were finishing their demerits and bonuses. Amusingly one was going mediaeval, the other hard sci-fi.

Another one was looking for the biggest chance for a sweet romance though all piles.

The last one was rolling the dice. Currently she was working through herself through genetics of lower dragons to define her future colour and element potential. Sometimes she asked questions like: "Is trying to roll on the rare mutations table worth it or not?" or "Is there a difference between reflective or shiny scales aside from looks?"

So Zaria waited.

"I am done. This world I am not going to try to pronounce, I am going to be a lesser forest dragon hatchling, my main elements will be plant unsurprisingly with an earth subelement, not sure what the essence of life sub roll does. Future scales are dark green to deep green, and eyes bright green."

Zaria accepted the random build that had been rolled and looked it over. "Looks good, sign here."

"Found it, sweet romance plot, poor but loving barony, a promise of no political engagements. Family of five, I will have one brother and one sister. Large chance for childhood friends." The one looking for romance skipped over happily.

Zaria accepted the file and scanned it. "Yes, looks good. Sign here."

"I am finally done." The fantasy optimizer rolled over onto his back and made a victory sign. "One overly evil and biassed overlord is ready. Come and kill me, hero!"

Zaria summoned the build and checked it. It had enough kick to make the overlord reality, but enough demerits to make it possible for a good hero to reap the overlords life. "Looks good, I have to admit you made a nice evil character."

"Thank you, it is no fun if things are too easy."

"Good luck, sign here."

Finally the future spacer was done. She went for improved tech understanding and a body that was made for deep space and accelerations. Her immune system however would take to living on a planet badly due to all the plant pollen and other things in the air.

"So deep exploration."

"I always wanted to go deep into the stars."

"Sign here."

Finally the last one was left.

"Had enough staring?"

A head shake was the response.

"Want to go to a place with a lot of fluffy tails?"

"Yes?"

"Want one yourself?"

"Yes?"

"Are you listening?"

"Yes?"

"I have the feeling you will get arrested for tail molestation. Whatever, sign here."

--- 8 ---

Zaria was facing Zaria.

Office Zaria facepalmed.

Supposedly dead Zaria summoned herself a nice chair. "Oh, I remember this happening."

"Let me guess, obvious carnage and resident god telling the group to reincarnate since they all died without looking properly at who died?"

"Business as usual." The dead but not dead Zaria replied.

"Well, since death does not apply to me, go back and pack everything, leave a banana peel at that god's place, then come back here, you can substitute while I ask that fluffy lover out on a date."

"Sure, it will be a fun date actually."

"Hush me, no spoiling."

--- 9 ---

Zaria looked at her next customer.

Someone who had been a GM for most of their life, he had been a good GM with a lot of long campaigns and planning.

"Greetings, you are dead and going to be reincarnated. You can pick a basic reincarnation. Tabula rasa and you get dumped into the random soul pool. Or we can do something a bit more special."

The soul looked around. "Is this an isekai thing?"

"Yes and no. That get cheats and such such, is not a thing actually. I mean it happens, but it is so rare that it is more probable to get hit by lightning, get shot, and get hit by a truck all at the same time while walking on an empty street."

"Why does it sound like that actually happened?"

"A hunter missed his shot, the bullet flew pretty far, a plane lost the cargo door and a truck fell out, and finally despite no rain a thunderbolt hit the guy at the same time as the bullet and the truck impacted."

"That's … I am not sure if it is impressive or depressing." The GM nodded.

"It was one of the weirder deaths."

"How did I die?"

"You failed your reflex save against a falling flowerpot."

"..."

"..."

There was a moment of awkward silence.

"You said something about special reincarnations?"

"One, a Dungeon Master. You would get the usual starting package, a Dungeon Core that is basically your heart, and a few points to create your dungeon."

"What kind of rules does the dungeon have?"

"Death brings the most points. Imprisoning someone gives less, but after a few days you get more than death gives you. Someone being in your dungeon gives some points too."

"So non lethal traps and a prison sound a good idea."

"Pretty much. Then we are in search of a Demon Queen. They get created from magic. It includes a partial mind wipe, so new gender and morals don't conflict too much with your former life."

"That sounds less interesting."

"Then we need a world admin. You would be in charge of natural catastrophes, monster spawns, and oracles. You keep your full memories and get an office in the heaven of the associated world. It is a disliked position unfortunately, being the bringer of doom and death does that."

"I will try my hand on the Dungeon Master."

"Wonderful. Please sign here."

--- 10 ---

"Oh it's you again." Zaria greeted the soul.

"Sorry, but have we met?"

"Yes, this is like the 20th time actually. Can't you stay alive for more than a week?"

"Sorry?" The soul was very confused.

"Let's see, this time death by yandere … really?"

The soul winced.

"My condolences, still better than death by airhead."

"Airhead? Does that mean that Hellena killed me before?"

"Yes, she got distracted, and almost got hit by a car. You saved her, but the car got you."

"Sounds like her." The soul nodded. "Was it a cat again?"

Zaria checked the folder. "Actually it was a kitten."

"Ahh."

"So unfortunately I need to send you back three days, you can't keep your memories, but I can give you a feeling of danger."

"Sounds difficult, I want it noted that if I die again it is not my fault. Wait, can't I just die?"

"Sorry, you need to calm down the tsundere who plays an important role in the world."

"Why me?"

"You are the only one she likes. But as you suspect, between the three beauties you have a lot of enemies that are not your fault. If they knew that the girls following you are an airhead, tsundere, and yandere, not sure they would envy you so much."

"Is there really no replacement?"

"I can send you back with memories once you reach death 27, but that includes memories of each death. Not sure you want to remember getting stabbed, beat up, drowned, shot, poisoned, squished, blown up, and so on."

"No, that sounds terrible, forget it. Do I have a choice?"

"Technically yes. Normal random reincarnation. All memories gone and you get a random spot."

"Will I ever get a normal girlfriend?"

"Well, you have a pair of cute twins stalking you."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"Crazy stalkers?"

"As depressing as it is, they are the most normal girls around you. And your little sister is actually a brocon."

The soul shuddered. "Twins you said?"

"Good luck I guess. If you are ready, sign here to acknowledge being sent back, and that you accept the premonition about your yandere."

The poor soul signed and faded away.

"Airheads are scary." Zaria mumbled. "Telling him that 14 of his deaths were due to airhead would have been cruel."