Santa's Secret Transfic Anthology Vol. 2 / Everyday Sweets #8

A Bold Trajectory

by Foundling_Fae

A Bold Trajectory: a tale of hesitance and love, of comfort in silence and comfort in company. Short and fluffy, in more ways than one!

— Foundling_Fae

 

The house was empty.

An empty house is a safe house.

Melissa was coming over, along with her sibling and a few other friends. But Melissa was the reason my parents let me stay here alone when they left, because even though I’m technically an adult, they still felt the need for me to be watched when they weren’t around. And Melissa was the reason I was looking forward to them arriving.

A car drove by, and I look out the window as it passes: not the family car. I was still safe.

Hanging out with Melissa is one of life’s joys. She’s kind, and she seems to like me despite all the things people mock about me. And she honestly rocks her style.

I wish I had a style like hers. Or at least like she did. I guess I can’t really have her style, because it’s all pastels and gentle, draping skirts, and that isn’t the sort of thing I can do, right?

And then there’s her sibling, Tear. Their name fits them very weirdly, because you’ll never see them crying – unless they’re in the process of some wonderful prank and they’re just about to break into their characteristic cackle as they reveal it and run away, leaving you with only a bruised sense of reality.

Tear’s style is much more subdued, usually, but it is always just as them as Melissa’s, and just as impossible for me to copy.

Another car drove by, and it too wasn’t the family car. It seemed like the parents had not forgotten anything, so the time of solitude truly had begun. I let the smallest smile break onto my fast, and scampered upstairs to my room, digging through the stuff the parents wouldn’t look through to find the gift Melissa had given me a few months back: a hat that looked a bit like a bunny, with two long paws hanging down that, when you squeezed them just right, jerked the little ears on the hat up.

The parents would not allow me to keep it if they knew about it. It was far too bright, being white and soft pink. It was far too useless.

I donned it, and gave the paws a squeeze each, and I felt the ears bounce.

For being useless, it gave me a lot of comfort. Just goes to show how much they know. I bounced the ears gleefully at my rebellious thought.

Another car drove by. I couldn’t see the road from my room, but I’m pretty sure it kept going just by how it sounded. Still, my time in my room was done. I needed to get back to the living room with its road-viewing window.

 

--- === ---

 

The road was busy. More cars were going up the road than down it, but that always seemed to be the case. Still, none of them were the family vehicle, so I simply bounced one ear or the other as each of them went past.

The house was empty. The house was safe.

A few more cars passed.

I kinda got distracted watching them go by, I guess, because before I realised it, they had arrived and were walking up the driveway – just four of our circle of friends, Melissa and Tear leading the way, and behind them Trevor and Anya.

When I saw them, I bounced the ears of my hat a few times as a wave, and Melissa saw and waved back.

I smiled.

The house was empty, and safe. And soon it would not be really empty, but it would still be in the ways that counted. It would still be safe

Without further ado, I flopped sideways off of the arm of the couch, lying on my back with my legs over the armrest.

I heard them piling in through the door, with that traditional scuffle of footwear-removal and ruffle of coat-hanging. The floor creaked as they started joining me in the living room, and I looked up at them from my position, giving them a smile.

“Well hey there,” Melissa grinned at me, “I see you’re enjoying that hat again, hmm?”

“I am!” I nodded, and gave the ears a few bounces. “Its a good hat, you know? Feels nice, looks nice, a splash of colour that’d be impossible for me to actually wear, all that jazz.”

Tear cackled at my comment as they followed Melissa in. “You know that apart from your family, nobody really cares what you wear at home, right? And even those who care what you wear outside, they’re the ones you can ignore.”

“C’mon, sib, you know the family part is only part of the problem,” Melissa elbowed Tear.

“Ehh, sure, but I think we’re making progress on that other part, sis.”

Trevor made his entrance, and finger-guns’d me. “Heya, friend! Nice to see you.”

“And you,” I nodded back. “No tournaments today?”

He snerked, “Not really, none I’d miss this for at any rate.”

“This?”

Melissa sat down beside my legs, “Yeah... we have an idea.”

“An experiment!” Tear announced, raising their hand like a cartoon villain as they sat on the other couch’s arm.

“Maybe a little bit of a revelation,” Anya added, slipping into the room at last, dropping the hood of her hoodie, to reveal a pair of gorgeous ears.

Gorgeous fox ears. On my definitely normal human friend.

I don’t think I even have any non-human friends.

I don’t even think there are any non-humans around, right?

And yet fox ears. And that was definitely a fluffy tail doing its best at hiding behind her legs.

“...Anya?” I asked.

“Yes?” She smiled sweetly at me.

“Why do you have ears?” I popped one of my hat’s ears up.

“Well, it turns out most people do have ears, you know,” she explained slowly. “But also my ears look a bit different now because we, well, we found something.”

“Anya was the first person to, uh, get it. But when we realised what had happened, we knew we had to share it with you,” Tear added.

“I don’t know if I want fox ears and a tail,” I sighed, looking Anya over appreciatively but respectfully, “but thank you for the thought.”

“There isn’t anything fox-specific about it,” Trevor said.

“Oh?”

“It’s supposed to be whatever is most comfortable for you,” Melissa said, taking one of my hands in her own. “Whether that is really minor stuff, or a pair of ears and a tail, or whatever, well, that’s just what is true for you.”

“I guess so,” I shrug. “Maybe what’s comfortable for me is snuggling into a couch with friends around, though?” To drive the point home, I wriggled my way into the corner of the couch a little bit more.

“If you don’t think there’s anything to do, why not see if you’re right?” Tear suggested, with a suggestively cunning glint in their eye.

“Because it would be a waste? Like sure, some people get to wear really nice outfits and have good styles, and some people don’t. I’m one of those who don’t! So let someone who gets to do so use it, let them find their style. Even if I found my style, it wouldn’t help me at all, because my family wouldn’t let me.”

Anya took a few steps towards me. “So, what if they didn’t matter?”

“They have to,” I mumbled at her.

She took a few more steps, and kneeled down to look at me eye to eye. “Do they? Do you owe them anything?”

I stared at her, uncertain. “Maybe?” I guessed.

“Maybe, at some time, you did owe them something,” Melissa jumped in, squeezing my hand softly. “But maybe they’ve squandered that?”

“Have they shown they want to know you?” Trevor asked.

“Even I always respect who someone is when I prank them,” Tear added. “From what I’ve seen, your family kinda doesn’t give you that.”

“But they should!” Anya nodded eagerly.

I didn’t move, considering their point. “I do think you should save it for people who really need it, though.”

“Well, that’s part of the beauty of it,” Anya replied. “Even ignoring your suggestion that you don’t need it, which I do disagree with... well, it doesn’t have a limit. I have it now, and I can give it to you, and you’ll be able to give it along to someone else in turn. And, admittedly the source wasn’t super clear on this, but I think I’ll be able to give it multiple times to different people, too.” She knelt down and tilted her head to look me rightside up. “Want to guess what it is?”

“I dunno... what is it?”

“Something you can choose to give, but never lose by giving it away. Something that only thrives when you give it away, really. And it shines brightest when it’s shared between multiple people.”

“Hmm,” I shivered. “I want to say the answer is ‘love’, but that sounds terrible. And I’m pretty sure you were a lesbian, so...”

Anya giggled. “It has a whole bunch of forms, but they’re all called the same thing, and people do tend to focus on some of them more than they ought. You remember right, I am a lesbian, but that doesn’t change the fact that I do love you and want the best for you. Just like I love Melissa, Tear, Trevor... I love a lot of people. Love means that emotional connection as well as the sexual meaning, alongside all of those other forms too. I consider you my friend, and I want to know you better. I want to know what is comfortable for you.”

I smiled at her. “Thank you for caring,” I mumbled, “but...”

“C’mon,” Melissa interrupted me. “We’re here to help you. We’re here to get you out of here, maybe even. You can live with me and Tear, no problem. We definitely have the room. And we love you too. Admittedly, our love isn’t as... potent as Anya’s right now, but that doesn’t make it any less real.”

“That’s why I’m here too,” Trevor added. “Sure I could be watching the semifinal in the Retro Pentadecathlon. But you’re also important, and I’m here to support you however that ends up looking. However you end up looking.”

I blinked wetness from my eyes. “Thank you.”

“So...” Anya reached out, offering me her hand, “will you accept it? Can I help you find yourself, help you live better, help you love others the way I love you?”

“It’ll mean change, won’t it?” I asked, eyeing her hand like it was a download button on a web-page.

“Change is sometimes a good thing,” Tear jumped in. “Even if you don’t know where you’re going to land. Maybe even especially then.”

“O-” I hiccuped. “Okay.” I took Anya’s hand with my hand which wasn’t busy holding Melissa’s. “...I don’t feel different.”

Anya smiled at me. “It took a while before my ears went upwards, you know. C’mere.” She pulled me up into a standing hug.

I thought I was taller than her before? She was a pretty small girl among the crowds of our peers. But now we were definitely kinda the same height.

I didn’t mind, though, especially as she ran her fingers through my hair. I sighed, and rested my forehead on her shoulder.

“Now let’s get you out of here. Let’s get you home,” Melissa said, placing a hand at my back.

“Okay. But I should at least tell my family. A letter or something, I guess.” I said, standing up a bit straighter. “Let me just... do that.”

“Sure,” Tear nodded. “Sounds like a good idea.”

I found some paper and a pen, and scribbled a really simple letter out. “Hey. I’m going to not live here anymore. Don’t worry about me, okay?” I left it on my bed, nodded when I saw Tear had packed up my laptop, shrugged when I saw Trevor had crammed a bunch of clothes into a backpack, snagged everything from the super secret hiding place where I kept all the important documents (like my library card!), and then followed both of them back downstairs.

I bounced my ears a few times as I looked around at the doorways leading off the entryway. Every single one led to a room filled with memories, some to be cherished but others to try to forget. Most of the ones to be cherished were when my parents had gone out to who-knows-where, leaving me alone or with Melissa (and often others as well).

Melissa stopped next to me, and laced her fingers with my own. I accepted the gesture and leaned against her, her taller height leaving her shoulder at a wonderful height for companionable leans.

“You gonna miss this place?” She asked me, softly, quiet enough that the faint echo of the room wasn’t noticeable.

“...Maybe. Probably not, because you’ll be around your own home more than you ever could be here.”

“Hmm,” she squeezed my hand supportively. “I will be around my home. But you’ll be around your home, too, right. Because it’ll be our home? And I’ll be glad to be your sister.” She tilted her head, looking up at the inexplicably elaborate light fixture that hung from the roof. “If you want to call me that.”

I stood still for a moment, then turned and wrapped her in a hug. “I’d love to call you that. We can be sisters.” I blinked, and pulled back, looking at her with what must have been a very confused look on my face. “We can be sisters?” I repeated.

“We can be sisters!” Melissa nodded.

“Can I be a sister...?” I mumbled, having only barely heard her. “...We can definitely be siblings.” I shrugged, scratching at a sore spot underneath a strap over my shoulder underneath my shirt. “We’ll figure out the rest later.”

“Sure,” she nodded, and pulled me into a hug again. “Now come on, the others are waiting.”

We made our way to the door, clatteringly pulled our shoes on and rattlingly pulled our coats on. Trevor and Tear, both laden with all the possessions I cared about apart from my bunny hat (and to be honest, the most of the clothes Trevor had grabbed were not in that group). Anya stood, her tail softly waving back and forth behind her legs.

I stood up and straightened out my shirt, which seemed like it was hanging a bit long somehow. “Okay,” I nodded. “Let’s skedaddle.”

We piled out the door, carefully doing the handle lock before we closed it and then making sure it had engaged properly. I might never be coming back, maybe, but I’m not crazy. An empty house should be locked up, right? But with that simple security measure in place, we made our way out to the street. Tear’s car was parked just up the road, and all five of us piled in, with me in the middle of the back seat, between Anya (with her tail all curled up onto her lap and tickling my thigh) and Melissa.

As we pulled away onto the street, I looked past Anya at the house, watching it sink into the past.

Anya tapped my nose. “Boop!”

I shook my head and drew back in surprise. “Boop?”

“Boop!” Anya nodded, booping my nose again for good measure.

I looked over at Melissa, and asked, “Boop?!”

Melissa burst into laughter. “Apparently!”

I turned to face straight ahead, and sulked. “‘Boop’.” I mused, overdramatically rolling my eyes for effect.

Tear glanced over their shoulder back at us, and gave me a puzzled look before turning their attention back to the road.

I took in a deep breath, and then sighed contentedly, leaning against Melissa again.

“Yeah, lean against your sister, let it out,” she said into my ear, taking my hand and rubbing it between her own.

I somehow relaxed more against her, each breath feeling so good. “I’m not sure what’s even left to be let out,” I mumbled.

“Stress has a way of finding all sorts of little cracks,” Trevor suggested.

“Or maybe it’s just the love settling in. Like a burp,” Anya added on.

“Whatever it is, you’ve got nothing to worry about right now,” Melissa shrugged, nudging my head gently.

“Thanks,” I said, and fell gently to sleep

 

--- === ---

 

I woke up to the stuttering hiccup of Tear’s car turning off. I sat up, feeling somewhat lost, but also reassured to be holding Melissa’s hand still. I reached up and scratched under my hat, looking around and trying to figure out where I was. Not that I was lost, because of course we had just arrived home. But it’s just what you do when you’ve fallen asleep in a car, you look around and try to figure out where things are.

“You are pretty cute,” Melissa chuckled. “But we’re home, nothing to worry your sweet head with.”

“I’m not worried!” I protested, unbuckling and shivering weirdly. My shirt seemed to be happier with me after I shivered, but I’m also pretty sure it sat exactly the same.

Still, I hopped out of the car and followed Melissa up to the front door and into the front entrance, where I froze.

There was a really cute girl who had also followed Melissa in. I could see her in the traditional mirror you keep in the entryway and should never look at but somehow can’t help but look at anyhow.

And I couldn’t see myself.

She was wearing a cute bunny hat just like mine, but I could see the hint of actual bunny ears beneath it, sitting down along the head like they do when rabbits feel comfortable.

And her shirt was more of a dress, aesthetically reminiscent of the super weird traditional bunny gear, which would’ve been a much worse joke if it was actually that garment but it was really just a dress that came tight around the waist and then flared out gently, with a darker section matching the outline of the traditional garb of so-called bunnies.

Her style was amazing.

I wanted that style.

And I somehow recognised that I had that style.

I looked every inch as beautiful as the girl in the mirror; I looked every inch as bunny as the girl in the mirror. Because I was the girl in the mirror.

I saw Melissa stand next to me, looking at the two of us in the mirror with me. “We’re sisters!” She said, hugging me with one arm.

Anya burst into giggles, and looked at Tear, holding her hand across her mouth like she wanted to say something but couldn’t get it out.

Tear made eye contact with her, and burst into a dry laugh. “Oh my god,” they managed, “they were sisters.”

Melissa snorted. I didn’t get the joke.

“Kinda doesn’t work, anyways,” Trevor grumbled from the door.

“Blame Anya for that,” Tear laughed off his complaint.

I shook myself out of my self-appraising stupor and took off my shoes (which definitely were whiter than when I’d put them on, and had a pink and light blue design across them), and moved out of the slightly choked entry area.

I heard a distant sound of pots from their kitchen.

I froze.

The house wasn’t empty.

The house wasn’t empty.

The house wasn’t safe.

My hand went to my hat, and then I remembered my actual bunny ears it was kinda doing an okay job at hiding. My breath caught. I was in a dress!

“Sis!” Melissa shook me gently by the shoulders, and I realised she was looking at me face to face now. “It’s okay, it’s our parents. They’re good. You’re safe. You’re safe.”

“I’m safe?” I asked.

“You’re safe.” She nodded.

I let my breath out. I wasn’t aware I had been holding it.

“But, uh...” Tear joined with a side-hug of their own. “There is one thing we need to ask you, now. We all know you didn’t like your name. To the point of, I’m not actually sure which form of it it was? None of us really used the proper form much. But it definitely doesn’t fit you now. And you should fit yourself. All of you should.”

“A name!” I sighed. “Gosh.” I clung to Melissa, trying to feel stable as my mind went racing, thinking hard. And letting even more stress find its way out.

“Doesn’t have to be the actual thing, either.” Anya offered, coming around for a supportive hand on my shoulder too.

“I think we’d manage if you choose to not have a name, even,” Trevor offered, even though he stayed a little ways apart. “You’ll still be our friend, and some of us’s sister.”

“I think I need to...” I started saying, and then I realised it. “I’m Lissi,” I said, and I loved how it sounded in my voice. My voice which definitely sounded cute and girly now, like it hadn’t remotely done in years and like I hadn’t realised it could’ve. “Oh my god, I’m Lissi and I’m a girl.” I pulled back from Melissa, to see her smiling at me. “I’m your sister!” I squealed. I turned to Tear, “I’m your sister!” I repeated.

Anya lunged into a hug. “I’m so happy you’ve found your self, Lissi,” she said. I think I heard tears in her voice. “Thank you for letting us help you.”

“How could I not? You... well, maybe just our whole friend group? Hmm. You’re my friends. That’s what I mean. You’re my friends, and I trust you.”

Melissa’s mom poked her head out of the kitchen-connecting mini-hallway, her brilliant-red hair forced into an uncooperative braid. “Hello, kids-who-are-actually-adults-now!” She called, and waved us a welcome.

“Hi, mom!” I called back, and then clapped my hand over my mouth.

“Well, now, I’m not sure if I recognise you, so... Might you be the one my kids told me about, the one needing help? Which is to say, place-to-call home help?”

I nodded, still holding my hand over my mouth, not trusting it to not betray me again.

“Well, I’m glad to have you here. Mikaela and I will be the best parents we can, okay?” She asked, approaching slowly, almost gliding across the carpet. “So, does my new...” she gave a curious look between me, Melissa, and Tear.

“Daughter?” Tear volunteered, and I nodded, feeling an actual tear start to run from my eye.

Anya pulled away from me slightly, and Melissa stepped back to look at her mom properly, leaving an empty path between me and her.

“Does my new daughter have a name?” She asked.

“I’m... I’m Lissi.” I stammered, before anyone else could repeat it for me.

“Well, then, Lissi. I’m Morgan, but you can indeed call me ‘mom’... I will insist, though, that ‘mother’ means Mikaela, not me.” She grinned at me, and then moved her hand to hover beside my face, but she didn’t touch me, “I promise you, whenever I’m here, you’re safe. You don’t have to worry. I didn’t hear many specifics, but I know my kids were worried terribly about you.”

I hummed. I... I wasn’t sure if I could trust her. I wasn’t sure if moms could be trusted.

She smiled ruefully at my hesitation, and pulled away gently. I could feel that she wasn’t rescinding whatever sort of offer she was making, she was just giving me space. “I think I understand. Take your time, girl. I’ll still be here, all the same.” She held up her thumb and forefinger, crossed.

I tilted my head, trying to understand the gesture.

She caught my confusion, and traced the outline of the two digits with her other hand. “It’s a little heart.”

I felt my cheeks warm. “Oh,” I said. “I guess it kinda is?” I held up my hand, and figured out how you crossed them like that. “It really kinda is, yeah,” I nodded, looking it over from the different angles. I held it out towards her, matching her own offer. “For however much it means,” I shrugged, and let my hand drop back to my side.

Mom smiled at me. “It means enough. I’d better get back and watch the garlic bread, though.”

As she walked away, I looked at my friends standing around me, and I sighed happily.

The house was not empty.

But the house was safe.

And that was never going to stop being true.

 

Hi! I am Foundling Fae, and I'm just an ace trans gal from Canada.

I wrote this story for my friend Maelucky! But I hope you enjoyed it too.

You'd be able to find more of my writings right here on scribblehub.
Come along and enjoy the lovely feels! (lovely feels not guaranteed, terms and conditions may apply, ask your doctor if Foundling_Fae's stories are right for you)

— Foundling_Fae

 

Santa's Secret Transfic Anthology Vol. 2 / Everyday Sweets #8

Follow to catch Joan on June 6th

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