Chapter 17
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It's been one year since Chang'er came to the palace. I dote on him as much as possible. I can only have one noble consort or else I would have already promoted him to show everyone how much I love him.

Lately, Chang'er isn't sleeping well, he keeps tossing and turning in his sleep. He refuses to tell me what he dreams about. He says he doesn't remember but I can tell that he is lying.

Today I finally found out. His movements woke me up and I was trying to fall asleep again when I suddenly feel two hands on my neck.

He starts squeezing it and whispers: For them, you must die.

I feel something wet falling on my face.

He dropped a single tear.

I keep my eyes closed. He must have found out the truth. I have no idea how or since when. Is he with me only for revenge?

I don't know, but I know that if Chang'er wants to kill me, then my life is his. But I'm worried, if he kills me on his bed he will be captured and killed. What should I do?

Suddenly those hands left my neck and I felt him getting up.

I open my eyes after he leaves.

My heart hurts and I feel the guilt drowning me. If only I hadn't been so scared of dying, then I would have found a way for his family to live.

It's all my fault.

Noble consort is pregnant. I need to explain it to Chang'er but ministers keep coming to my office and keeping me busy with state affairs. I've been collecting more power lately so they need me more.

When I was finally free and about to go to his palace, I was informed that the noble consort had miscarriage and that he was being accused of doing it.

I ran to the noble consort palace.

This incident is good, now Chang'er is second only to me and the empress.

He isn't happy probably because it's harder for him to kill me if I don't give him reasons to.

I don't want him to kill me because I don't want to lose him. Dear author, please give us more time together. I know I must pay for my sins so that he can be free from revenge and happy but please, a bit more time...

In order for him to keep his rank as noble consort, I was forced to stop gathering power. But it's worth it.

I've never been as happy before as I have been during this last 10 years.

Today I wanted to surprise Chang'er so I went into his palace unannounced. Then I saw him and Hai kissing.

I turned my back on them and went away. If I stayed there even for one more second, I would rip Hai into pieces.

How does he dare to touch what is mine?

I feel so furious, when I look around, I notice that I'm back at my office. I don't know what to do with all this rage so I start smashing the things in my office while imagining that was Hai I was crushing.

I sent him a message. It's too painful to say it myself.

I want Chang'er all for myself but above all I want him to be happy, even if that means that I have to share him with another man. He doesn't have a family because of me. Probably my love isn't enough for him.

But I can't control my wish to mark him as mine when I'm inside him. At least I will do the possible so that he can't forget about me even when he is with another man.

My heart is pained.

Chang'er becomes crazier and cruel.

I'm surprised he asked for the prime minister while family to be spared. I thought he would ask only for his lover to be spared.

I go meet with Chang'er in my palace and I see him putting powder on the wine.

Today is the day I die.

I've long since prepared for this day. I knew it would come after the prime minister's conviction.

I left an edict conferring Chang'er as the empress in the case I die. This way he will be buried with me.

I instruct a secret guard to get rid of the maids and eunuchs that saw Chang'er entering my palace.

I will show him the secret passage so he can leave unnoticed.

I felt calm despite knowing I was about to die. I had 13 happy years with him. And I couldn't stand anymore seeing the guilty devour him.

I wasn't expecting him to also drink the poisoned wine. When he drank it, I felt like the world was gonna end.

-Chang'er! What are you doing?

-Accompanying Your Majesty.

-Why?? Where's the antidote, take it!

-I told you, there's no antidote.

I feel tears down my face. My whole body hurts due the poison and I start losing my strength.

I look at those eyes that I love so much.

-Chang'er do you love me? - I ask. In all these years he never said he loved me. Even though he would cook for me every day since the time when my food was poisoned several times.

-I'm sorry.

-How did you find out the truth?

He tells me of his first life and rebirth. I wonder, did I also love him in that life?

I must have loved. How could I not love him?

-Will you be with me in the next life?

I'm sorry. - I understood. He would never forgive me, not even in our next life.

He kissed me. The kiss tasted like blood. I don't know if mine or his.

My vision started to blur.

I looked at him for the last time.

My Chang'er.... I pray that we can meet again in our next life, even if you can't forgive me.

I try to touch his face with my hand but I can't reach him.

I close my eyes and I take my last breath.

At the same time, I hear someone calling me.

-Zhao Bai!

Is it you Chang'er?

My Chang'er, I will still love you in the next life.

Author note:

This is the end of General's Chang Revenge but wrote a sequel with the title Road to Hapiness.

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