"I guess you're probably doing something special tomorrow night huh?" Craig asked. "Going out somewhere fancy or something?"

Kelly asked, "Your dad'll be there too right?"

I shrugged, "I don't know if my mom's gonna do anything special. And dad can't make it. I saw him on the weekend, he's working every night this week."

"That sucks," Craig said as he opened another beer, then tossed the cap into the creek.

"Dude," I elbowed him in the side. "How many times we gotta tell you? Don't trash up the ravine."

My buddy rolled his eyes, "Whatever. How about a little more appreciation? Who scored the beers in the first place huh?"

Kelly retorted, "That was your brother, doofus. And you know he has the hots for me, I could get him to supply us with brews without any help from you."

"Yeah whatever," Craig grumbled as he had a swig of beer.

All three of us were under-age, Craig turned eighteen two months ago and Kelly had her eighteenth birthday back in January. Mine was tomorrow, I was the youngest of the three of us. Craig's big brother Tom was twenty and he'd been supplying us with beer for the last six or seven months.

Kelly and I sipped our drinks as well, and I found myself staring at the ravine as the water flowed quietly past. We were in the woods a couple blocks from school, in a natural hollow in the side of a hill. About fifty or sixty meters behind us was a typical residential neighbourhood, but the hill and the trees meant we were barely aware of civilization being so close by.

It was almost our own special private spot, the place we came to hang out together, talk, or just hide from the world.

We'd been best friends for ages, since back in grade school, but I couldn't help feeling like our friendship was going to change this summer.

Our final year of high-school was almost over, we'd all be graduating in a couple weeks. Then in September we'd all be doing different things, going to different colleges. Sometime soon the three of us would get together like this for the last time. I didn't know yet when that would happen, but I knew it was coming.

And after all the years we'd been best friends it was hard to imagine what things would be like when I didn't have Kelly and Craig to hang out with.

I'd known Craig since we were both eight, and the two of us met Kelly when we were ten. We all had something in common too, we all came from single-parent homes.

Craig's mom died when he was six and my parents split up when I was eight, just before me and him met. Kelly's mom walked out on her and her dad when she was nine, and somehow the three of us kind of gravitated together since we all had that messed-up stuff going on at home.

They were both raised by their dads, and I grew up with my mom. The only difference was my dad was still part of my life, he just didn't live with us. In fact him and mom were still friends, even though they weren't married anymore.

The way my mom explained it, dad was a workaholic and mom got tired of always coming second when dad had to work. There was also some stress around the fact that he was a firefighter, and mom said that constant fear of him going to work one day and not coming back was hard on her as well.

So they split up, but dad stayed part of my life. I visited him every other weekend, and he visited me and mom on holidays and birthdays and stuff. He was always nice to me, but I couldn't help feel like I was a disappointment to him. He was tall, strong, brave, outgoing, and manly without falling into toxic masculinity. I was quiet, shy, emotional, and sensitive.

"Seriously though," Craig said suddenly. "I can't fucking believe my brother thinks you're hot. Like I never thought he was into dudes."

"Fuck you," Kelly laughed. "Anyways what if he was? If you're queermisic you just fuck off right now."

I stayed quiet as my two best friends teased each other. Kelly was a tomboy through and through. She kept her dark hair trimmed short, I was positive she didn't own any dresses or skirts, and I'd never seen her wear anything pink or frilly. When we were younger she wore a lot of boys clothes, and even now she tended to dress fairly butch.

Like tonight she was in blue jeans, work boots, and a loose t-shirt that did a good job of concealing the curve of her chest. She was tall and slim, and apart from her voice she could probably pass for a guy if she tried.

I actually wondered now and then if she might be trans, or at least non-binary. I never worked up the courage to ask though. She certainly wasn't shy about being bi, she openly dated both guys and girls at school.

Unlike me, Craig had no hesitation about asking people just about anything, whether as a joke or not. Boundaries were a thing he hadn't entirely figured out yet, at least when they belonged to other people.

"Tell us the truth Kelly," he said after another gulp of beer. "If you could be a guy, would you?"

She shook her head, "Nah."

After draining the last of her beer she dropped the empty back in the box then got to her feet. She moved a few meters off to the left as she admitted, "Though right about now I kind of wish I could pee standing up. It's the main thing I have to complain about, when we're out drinking in the woods like this."

Craig chuckled, "Yeah it's pretty cool. Plus you'll never know the joy of writing your name in the snow. Right dude?"

He nudged my shoulder but I just shrugged.

"Right, why am I asking you?" he laughed. "I swear if I didn't know better I'd think she was the guy and you were the chick."

Kelly stated firmly, "Craig don't be an asshole. Bad enough Jeff Stokes teases him about that, he doesn't need that shit from his friends."

My cheeks were red as I had another sip of beer, and I tried not to think about that stuff too much. Unfortunately neither of my friends let the topic drop.

"Seriously Kelly," Craig stated. "You two should just swap. You'd make a better dude, and I bet he'd be a better girl than you."

Kelly moved back to rejoin us, she sat down next to me and helped herself to another beer. Instead of another snarky come-back she actually had a thoughtful look on her face.

She twisted off the cap and dropped it in the box, then after a gulp of beer she finally responded.

"I already said I don't want to be a guy. But if there was a way to try it out for a little while, like for a week maybe? I'd actually be down for that." She looked at me and asked, "How about you? Would you want to try being a girl for a while?"

My face had to be beet-red at that point, and I quickly gulped down a few mouthfuls of beer as my mind raced. It was the sort of thing I wanted to tell them for ages, but I was always too scared. Like they were my best and only friends, I was terrified that they'd freak out and never want to see me again if they knew.

Realistically I knew that was unlikely. Kelly especially, she was bi, possibly trans, and a vocal supporter of all things queer.

Craig was a different story, I was positive he was cis-het to the core. I was pretty sure he wasn't queermisic, but he had all the privilege and cluelessness that made it hard to tell sometimes. He was kind of attractive too, he had short blond hair with a bit of a curl, blue eyes, and a slightly tanned complexion. If he was more of a jock he'd probably have ended up one of the popular kids, instead of hanging out with the oddballs like me and Kelly.

"Uh-oh," he joked as he realized how I was blushing. "Looks like you struck a chord there Kelly. Better apologize before our sensitive friend here blows a gasket."

Kelly took my reaction a little more seriously. She actually looked worried that she'd upset me, and she said softly "Hey man, I'm sorry ok? I was just kidding around, but that's no excuse. I should know better too, I know you hate it when macho assholes like Jeff give you grief about that sort of shit."

"It's ok." I said as I finally found my voice. "And um. If there was a way for you and me to trade for a bit, then um, yeah. I'd go for it."

"Really?" Kelly asked with a grin.

At the same time Craig laughed, "You're shitting us right? No way any dude would want to be a chick."

I cringed a bit at his reaction, while Kelly's grin faded and she got a sort of serious look in her eyes.

"Craig shut up," she stated, and her tone was serious enough that he actually went quiet.

Kelly moved closer to me so our shoulders were almost touching, and she asked in a gentle but serious tone, "Do you want to be a girl? Are you trans?"

My cheeks felt like they were going to burst into flames at any moment, and my hands were both squeezing the neck of my beer bottle so tightly I was afraid it might break. It was the only way to keep my hands from shaking though.

I took a few shaky breaths and tried to work up the courage, but once again I chickened out.

"Nah," I shook my head. "Like I said, I'd try it out for a bit, like so you could get to see what it's like as a guy. But um, no. Not for me, I just meant it like to help you out."

To my right, Craig took a breath like he was about to say something but a sharp look from Kelly shot him down.

She focused on me again and said, "It's nothing to be ashamed of ok? I mean, if you are. I just want you to know that ok? No pressure. We're your friends all right? You can trust us with anything."

"Thanks Kelly," I half-whispered. I still couldn't bring myself to say it though. Not yet at least. Instead I did the cowardly thing and deflected back to her.

"What about you?" I asked. "Since you brought it up and all. Are you sure you're not trying to tell us you're a trans guy?"

Kelly kept her eyes on me for a few more seconds, and I was positive she was going to call me out for throwing the question back at her.

She took a deep breath, then finally replied "Honestly, I'm not sure yet."

I found myself staring at her with wide eyes, and for once even Craig was too surprised to joke or comment.

A moment later she stated, "Don't go using he/him pronouns on me just yet ok? I just said I'm not sure. I'm still trying to figure it out for myself, right? Maybe I'm really a guy, maybe not. Or maybe I'm somewhere in between."

She had a gulp of beer then added, "That's why I said I'd want to try it out, if it were possible. Like to see how it felt being a guy?"

"Wow," I finally responded. "Um, well if there's anything I can do to help, just say so ok?"

Craig nodded, "Same. I know I joke around and stuff, but I'm here for you. For both of you. Ally all the way."

"Thanks guys," Kelly smiled. "I appreciate it."

After a few seconds I commented, "Now I wish we really could trade for a week, so you could try out being a guy for real."

Kelly looked at me, then smirked "And you could try being a girl?"

My cheeks were instantly bright red again as I sputtered, "I mean... No, I was mostly thinking about helping you out. You know?"

"Right," she nodded. "Of course. Thanks for being so altruistic."

Craig just chuckled, but fortunately he kept any comments to himself.

After that we were all quiet again for a while, just sipping our beers as the sun finished setting and the woods got darker.

Eventually it was time for the three of us to head home. We all had school in the morning, though with only two weeks left till graduation there wasn't much going on except preparing for exams.

Craig took the beer case with him, there were only a few left plus all the empties. And all three of us had some gum to try and mask the smell so our folks wouldn't know we were drinking again. Although I was pretty sure my mom was the only one who cared.

Kelly's dad didn't seem like the kind of guy to worry about that sort of thing, and Craig's dad hadn't been around much for the last couple years.

We emerged from the woods then walked along the residential street, till we got to the corner where our houses were all in different directions.

"See you two tomorrow at school," Craig said.

Kelly nodded, "Yeah, have a good night."

"Right," I agreed. "See you later Kelly, Craig."

Five minutes later I was home. I slipped in the side door, and quietly headed upstairs. Mom was already in bed, the house was dark so I kept the noise to a minimum as I got ready for bed.

I didn't go to sleep right away, I lay in bed and spent some time catching up with a couple discords on my phone. And mentally kicking myself for not coming out to my friends. It was the perfect opportunity, and I blew it.

Eventually I put the phone away and let myself drift off, while thoughts of coming out and transitioning played through my mind.

PurpleCatGirl

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