Ch 41.a – Disconnection

I scratched out a line on the paper in front of me before scribbling a few more numbers down. After some consideration, I then scratched them out as well. Glancing over the math I'd just done three times I realized one simple fact, I couldn't for the life of me remember how we did this in class. Sighing I reached down into my bag and fished for the thick book that might remedy this. I pulled it out, half dropped it on the table so it could share in my pain, and started flipping through it.

Unfortunately, I found nothing of help, not even the chapter on this topic before there was a knock at the door.

I groaned to myself and stood up walking over to the door expecting someone trying to sell us roof repair and opened it.

A boy stood there maybe half a hand taller than me. He had square shoulders, and a somewhat striking jaw if I had to say so. His hair was wavy with that, "I'm so suave I don't need to comb my hair" look that required careful management of length and or product to actually achieve. Honestly, he was pretty hot and it sort of pissed me off that I knew exactly who he was. He saw me and smirked, "You're Anna right?"

"What gave you that idea?" I drawled.

"Well, you look a lot like Belle." He said far too honestly.

I gave him a flat look that I hope conveyed "seriously?" before verbally picking his assessment to pieces, "Please we are identical twins, a lot, is an understatement." I pointed out.

"Really? You... I mean your hair is dyed then?" He asked a bit surprised for some reason.

"Yeah." I confirm the obvious.

He glanced down at me intentionally or not, he couldn't help but start adjusting his frame of reference, examining my still developing curves and comparing them to my sister. It gave me a bit of a shiver, to be honest. He seemed to realize he was doing it and glanced away, "Right... Uh, I guess I just didn't notice before."

"You and everyone else..." I sighed. Then realized I should really just figure out what the hell he wanted since he didn't seem to be making any progress on that front, "So, What did you want?"

"Right, I came by to pick her up for our date. I... mean Belle, I came by to pick her up." He said his nervousness was suddenly on display, not that I had any idea why he was suddenly nervous, maybe he was a weirdo.

I nodded and turned before shouting at the top of my lungs, "Belle, some guy is here for you!" I of course actually knew who this was, but I didn't feel like being helpful, and since I didn't actually know him personally I didn't feel like letting him on to that.

"Coming!" came back the equally loud, if distant but far more cheery tone of my sister.

I just left the door open and started walking back to the kitchen to return to my torture.

He decided that was an invitation and he followed me inside, though he choose to leave the door open anyway. I really didn't give a shit but he could at least have committed to something, right?

"So... You go to our school too, right?" He asked pausing next to the half wall that separated a hall from the kitchen where I sat down.

"Obviously." I agreed as I leafed through a few pages looking trying to recall what, or where I'd been.

"How come I've never seen you?" He asked.

Clearly, I wasn't going to be making any progress until he was gone. I glance up at him considering for a moment, "You play some sports or something? So you date the cheerleaders." I point out, still insisting on going with my, "I have no idea who you are." game I had for some reason opted into.

He shrugged, "I guess?"

"I'm more the type that sits in the back of class and leaves as soon as school ends." I offer back, trying to end the conversation.

He seemed to shift awkwardly at that. As if he's trying to mull over some response but can't quite decide on what it is he wants to say.

The whole situation only continues to become more awkward as it lingers. After it becomes sufficiently so and I'm fairly convinced he'd given up on trying to continue I decided to annoy my sister to fix the situation, "Belle!"

"What?" She asks just as she arrives in a new dress with tiny straps that show off her shoulders and developing figure in a way that's equal parts "cute" and "perky." Her hair flowing down, and past her shoulders in long curls.

The boy in question turns to stare at her in a stunned silence that just makes Belle smile.

"Patrick." She said shifting this way and that way, "Do you like my dress? I got it just for our date."

He nodded his head slowly before remembering to use his words, "Yeah, Yeah. It's great, you look amazing!"

"Fucking bullshit." I sniff under my breath. I of course mean this in two ways, the first being that Belle bought this dress a few weeks ago and just hadn't found a reason to wear it out yet. I knew this because I saw her trying it on with some of her friends. The second was that I was just annoyed that he found my sister to be "amazing." while I was just, "The girl trying to do a math assignment." Then again, I hadn't really asked him, had I? Why would I? Typical me... Always comparing myself to her uselessly as usual.

Belle somehow picks up on my barely audible complaint and points, "You have something to say, Anna?" She asks with a tone that insinuates instant confrontation.

"No." I respond flatly, deciding that that was a wasted effort.

"Good. Because my date doesn't need to hear your lame complaints." She says with a smirk.

I glare at her, "Then maybe, your date, should have waited outside instead of trying to get all buddy-buddy with me." I shot back and I let the competition begin in earnest.

The boy in question glanced in both directions as if suddenly realizing he's found himself somewhere he doesn't want to be. I don't really blame him, but I wasn't going to save him from drowning either.

"You are just jealous that one of the best-looking boys in school is taking me out." Belle proclaims her superiority.

The boy in question can't help but grin through his slight panic.

"As if I care, I could get any boy I want, if I wanted one." I reply back with a bit more venom than I probably should.

"I doubt it. Just look at you..." Belle gestures at me as if that explained everything.

"I'm your fucking twin." I point out, which for some reason everyone but me seems to be oblivious to, even my actual fucking twin sister.

"Yet..." She considers for far too long, "We just aren't the same."

I can't help but grit my teeth at her tone. Her "I'm so much better than you" attitude digs its claws into me and I practically vibrate with anger, "You want to bet? Your boy toy was practically fondling me with his eyes earlier." I said opting to go full scorched earth with this.

Belle's eyes flash, "You were coming on to my date!?"

"Is as I need to." I said leaning back just slightly so that puff my equally perky chest up just a bit more.

She glares daggers at me then shoots a glance over to the boy who had been considering my assets before realizing his impending death sentence. Somehow, he was now obstinately staring at the ceiling avoiding immediate execution.

"Patrick." Belle begins, "You like me, right? There's no way you'd ever consider dating this... fashion disaster, right?" The tiny pout on her lips was the perfect annoying balance between "I'm hurt" and outright sneering at me. The type of expression that he was likely too dense to understand but me being her sister knew all too well.

Patrick of course replies as expected, "No, of course not Belle. I just uhh... I was trying to be nice is all." His eyes flick towards me as if he wants to apologize while also saying, "I'm trying to fuck this bitch let me out of here while I'm still alive!" Then again maybe I'm filling in the wrong blanks because I actively want to throttle my sister. At this point, fuck them both!

Belle glances back at me then as if there was only one possible outcome she says, "See? Besides, it's not as if you've even had a boyfriend. The best you've ever managed is that toad you call a best friend, maybe you can ask him to date you?"

"He's my best friend, we aren't like that." I point out while my anger only grows that she's so oddly fixed on this. Of course, I get why, she's like a cat, she found a weakness to exploit, and now it's time to knock me off the table and watch me shatter.

"Hmm... so I guess you can't even get him to date you... your options really are terrible aren't they?" She asks with ever too much sweetness.

"Just because you want to date people doesn't mean I want to. And if I wanted to, I could catch any boy I want. I just don't want to." I insist, again.

"As if you could even prove that." She practically snorts smirking to herself as though she had just slit my metaphorical throat and is ready to watch me bleed out on the floor in glee.

I wasn't done however, I was committed to watching everything burn now. I glance at Patrick and I act before I can think better of it, "You." I say causing him to glance my way, "My dad isn't here. Do you have some condoms? I'll let you skip to the end, right here, right now." Maybe this is a bit too nuclear?

His eyes practically bug out of his head.

My sister's eyes practically shoot lasers at me, "Anna!?"

"Well? You can play with her, see where that gets you, or you can try me out right now." I bite out. What the hell am I saying? or thinking!? I'm such an idiot... This is so stupid. Fuck you Belle! Fuck you, and fuck your stupid boyfriend!

"Uhhh" The boy says his brain melting inside his head. He overheats and practically starts emitting smoke from his ears.

Belle glares at him, "Patrick!? Are you even thinking of accepting?"

He glances between me and Belle his mind trying to work, trying to solve the social calculus in front of him while his mind and his dick are trying to work out the pros and cons of either option. Of course, he has no idea that the whole thing is fucked beyond repair. The very foundation is laden with dynamite and the very air is too toxic to breathe.

I just smirk at the inner turmoil of the Patrick, and growing rage on my sister's face. Maybe I was secretly a genius?

"Patrick!" Belle demands with righteous indignation.

"I... I can get some condoms..." He blurts out.

"Patrick!" Belle screams, her anger finally reaching that point where her tone might actually crack windows.

My smirk slips just a touch, wait really? This was quite literally not a real option. How the hell was he this stupid? or was I just undervaluing myself?

"What!? We've been on six dates and you've barely even kissed me." He says a bit more defensively now that he was actively submerged in nuclear waste.

"Get out!" Belle yells pointing to the door.

Patrick glances at me his eyes saying, "Hey! Hey! This is your fault!"

I however really don't know what to say or do. I mean, I said all that shit but... Did I mean it? Like I hadn't really thought about it, I didn't actually think in a million, billion years that he would actually pick it!

Belle violently points at the door and began screaming insults and various commands at Patrick who quickly picks up the cue that he's no longer welcome here. I hear the door slam and Belle storms back into the kitchen, "Anna!" She snarls, "You bitch! You lying sack of shit!"

She had a point... Was I a piece of shit for saying what I did and then letting her chase him off?

"You think you can say all that shit?! I'll fucking crucify you at school!" She continues down her warpath.

Somehow I just can't bring myself to care that much. I mean... I won! Sure she was pissed, and she was probably going to spread rumors and bitch at Dad. But...right here, right now? I kinda felt good. I was more than a little excited, and the questions inside of me were rapidly resolving. I couldn't help but stand up, just letting her angry tirade roll off of me as my mind came to a series of conclusions that sounded quite a bit better than standing here with my bitchy sister.

She blinks at my motion, "What? You pissed? You gonna cry!?" She said trying to make sense of my likely shifting expression.

As if! No, the more I thought about it, the more I couldn't help but feel like this was the perfect chance to try something without all the extra hassle. Was I nervous? Sure, but Belle had said it herself, he was hot! He was precisely the type of guy that usually wouldn't have even noticed me, and here he was picking me over my sister. Sure the whole thing was a setup, but did I really give a shit?

I laughed like the idiot I was, "No." I stated firmly, causing her to clam up and blink back at me confusion evident. Then smirking I say, "I'm gonna go fuck your boyfriend."

Instantly her eye twitches her features roil and she shakes.

But rather than stay there and listen I'm already rushing to the door and slamming it behind me. I see Patrick sitting in a bright red car looking like he'd been bulled over by some large animal the shock obvious on his features, regret, shock, and more all just drifting around as they wared to win him over.

I can hear Belle screaming, "Ex-Boyfriend!" from inside as I rush over to the car in question, and knock on the window.

He looks up at me and blinks then slowly the window lowers, "Yeah?" he asked uncertainly as though I might bite.

I reply with a smirk as I reach inside and open the door before it all slips away.

Ch 41.b – Connection

Slowly I opened my eyes as the images and sounds faded back into the corners of my mind. I glanced around and found I was the only one still in bed. I could still feel anger bubbling around inside. Anger and the rush of... victory? I couldn't really remember what happened after that. But at the same time, I couldn't help but sort of want to know... Had that Patrick been my first time for real? and had he been any good?

I shook my head, what the hell was I thinking? Really what had I been thinking? That whole thing was a mess, wasn't it? After a few moments of allowing the dense emotions to seep away, I felt more like myself, my current self?

I wasn't going to be rushing off and saying, "As if" was I? Was this going to keep happening? I wasn't sure I wanted that, I'd been fine not remembering my past life, but the more pieces I started to get the more it left me realizing how many more I was still missing. But if this kept happening maybe I'd get them all back, eventually? It left me feeling complicated.

I sat up and stretched my arms up high into the air. While I worked out the stiffness in my back and shoulders I let my mind drift back past the dream, and to the previous evening, which had been lovely. I couldn’t help but lick my lips as if I’d somehow find some small bit of Devin still lingering there. I was doomed to be disappointed. After a quick glance around to confirm that no one could see me, I swapped my nighty for the thicker woolen style dress I’d worn into town, complete with wear and tear that I’d placed on it before. Or at least I hoped so…

Come to think of it, I wonder how Gerl’s dream turned out. I’d mostly forgotten about him at some point. I hope he’d at least had some fun. It was only a dumb dream after all.

Noting that Devin’s and my bundles were still in the corner I decided to open the door and see what the day brought me.

The first person I saw was Jenny she was sitting near the fireplace with something simmering in an iron pot over the small flickering flames that danced along the logs below it. It created a warm atmosphere of soft crackling and a pleasant smell of some kind of meat and herbs mixed with an undercurrent of wood smoke.

Jenny was passing the morning in her chair, weaving. She noticed me right away though and her cheeks instantly flushed a bit red when she saw me.

Whoops? I had to have messed up for that response to be the first thing she did when seeing me. “Morning.” I said as brightly as I could hoping I hadn't somehow destroyed this foundation before I even had a chance to build it.

“Good morning…” She offered back clearly her thoughts elsewhere.

I glanced around and didn’t see anyone else so I asked the obvious question, “Where is everyone?”

“In the field.” She offered, “Devin said you were better off resting.”

I couldn't help but smile fondly, I’d have to reward him! Yet that did beg another question, “Any idea when they are going to be done?” I asked. It's not like I could leave without him, I didn’t think Naan was close enough to discuss our plans either.

“Maybe mid-day, with the extra help it shouldn’t take too long unless there are problems. Did you need anything?” She asked.

That was a surprisingly good question, “Actually… I was hoping that maybe I could get some shoes? Or maybe a dress?” I stretched out my odd flesh-formed garment with my hands as a demonstration of its subpar condition. “This one has seen better days.” I concluded my deceptive demonstration.

Jenny nodded, “Oh of course.” she said standing up and setting what she was working on back in her chair. “I’ll walk with you.”

“Oh! That would be great, thank you!” I said practically beaming at how nice she was. I think somehow, deep down I'd been concerned that she might be more like my sister and somehow pick a fight with me. Wait... I shook my head maybe that memory wasn't quite as out of my mind as I could be just yet.

She lead the way out onto the dirt street as we walked she glanced over at me as if she wanted to ask something. But she kept glancing down the road again.

At some point, I just had to insist, “Something on your mind?”

“I… I don’t want to be rude.” She offered.

“Oh, I don’t mind rude at all.” I said waving it off.

“Alright… It's just that last night you were quite loud.” She offered, blushing once again.

“Oh…” I said realizing that even if Gerl had been deep in his slumber the two owners of the home were likely sitting there in bed for half an hour listening to me and Devin pretend to have the loudest quiet sex possible. I couldn’t help but smirk at the idea, which probably wasn't earning me any bonus points.

“I… When you arrived I thought you were married… you and Devin I mean.” She offered. “But… Perhaps you were a prostitute?” She asked point-blank.

Sorta? No, wait... I blinked before speaking, “What?”

“You’re not?” Jenny asked a bit perplexed.

“A hooker? No…” I offered back but I wasn't really so sure. Not about now, but... I mean I wasn't. But...

“I see… Then perhaps Devin is…?” She asked instead.

I snorted, “What? What are you asking about? Neither one of us is.”

“I see… I’m glad you're not offended by my questions. But… Could you explain perhaps?” Jenny asked quite innocently.

Actually telling her that Gerl had slept through everything was probably an unbelievable statement as it was. Well, it’s not like bothered me for her to think I’d had a threesome with them. “I just like sex.” I decided to say. Whatever my past was, whatever I couldn't remember yet, that didn't really factor into this, my second chance was entirely separate, and I needed to remind myself again.

She blinked back at me, “Do… you desire more children?” She asked.

Oh… Right! That was a thing, wasn’t it? How had this not come up before now? Not a single man I’d been with had even once seemed to care. Actually, did I need to worry about that? I was a beast kin, right? Or was I a succubus now? Oh fuck, what rules did I need to contend with? Did I need to not have sex during my one lunar cycle where I was in heat? Or if I turned into a human would I have a normal period like other human women? Or did my succubus ability affect this? What about my… semen eating mana powers? Shit! Someone explain this nonsense!

“I'm sorry... I didn’t mean to offend you…” She offered after I failed to explain myself.

I waved my hands and brought myself out of the swirling vortex of questions that my mind had become, “You didn’t.” I quickly answered her, “It’s ugh… magic?” I offered weakly really hoping I could figure this out at some point.

She stared at me, utterly confused for a moment before realizing something, “Oh! I’d heard that women in brothels used magic to prevent pregnancies… it didn’t occur to me that someone else might. Do you not want children then?” She asked quite curious.

Wow... She was really hitting me with the big questions, wasn't she? “I’ve never really thought about it.” I admitted. It's not that being a mom sounded outright bad, but at this point, it really made no sense. I was living with goblins, on the run from elves with a sentient rock. Not exactly prime family creating conditions by any standards.

“Really? Where did you grow up if you don’t mind me asking.” Jenny asked, quite the curious one.

Oh shit… No answer! Abort! “I… don’t like to talk about it.” I replied awkwardly, if entirely by design.

“Oh… Well, that’s alright. Do you perhaps know an incantation? Or is it a tattoo, the symbols they make with that ink?” She asked.

Shit! I didn’t know any of this! “Naan! Save me from myself!” Nothing… What was I expecting?! “I… don’t really know…” I admitted.

“Oh… So neither?” She asked obviously confused.

I was just flailing in a hole at this point. I guess I might as well just revert to honesty and try to salvage my stupid ass. “It’s just something… I do?” I offered as vaguely as I could. If I could learn to turn cum into mana someone could learn to not get pregnant right? What was I even thinking… I grasping at straws and I knew it.

“Oh, well that’s alright. It’s just… You were quite energetic.” She said hands clasped before her as she stared at her fingers clearly recalling something brazen.

“Yeah… I like it rough.” I agreed shamelessly.

“Me and my husband have avoided it… sex I mean, since our children have grown. It was a bit of a shock to hear you last night I must admit.”

I nodded as we approached a door and Jenny knocked. After a moment the door opened and a bright blue-eyed human woman with brown hair answered, “Oh, Jenny. What brings you by this morning?”

Jenny gave her a bright smile, “My friend, Anna was it?” She asked me confirming my name, I nodded and she continued, “Needs the skills of a seamstress and a cobbler.” She glanced towards me, “This is Charlene, she makes most of the clothing for our tiny town, and her husband makes most of our leather goods.”

I gave her a bright smile, “It's nice to meet you. I’m not sure I have much to offer for your services… Just various pelts and odd bits and bobs really…” I offered.

“Hmm… I suppose I can see what you have and tell you what I can maybe make for you. My husband usually needs materials so that might actually not be a bad trade.”

“They are small, just as a warning.” I explained.

“Where are they?” She asked.

A good chunk of the morning was dedicated to me showing her what I could offer her, and then she worked out and offered me a few things in return. I was pretty sure I was getting ripped off when she decided to take most of it. But I honestly had nothing to use this shit for and given a few more days we’d have piles more skinned animals with as much as our group ate.

Still, I found myself somewhat enjoying the company of other women for once. They couldn’t help but be curious about my way of life as well. It had gone too far before I realized that I might be drawing attention to myself, but what fun was hiding anyway?

We talked about quite a few things, recipes seemed popular with Jenny and Charlene. They both regularly tried different meats, herbs, and vegetables. I didn’t have a lot to offer back, but I did learn some things. The topic of discussion varied as we chatted, sitting around a pile of pelts, and eventually, we returned to Charlene’s shop. At some point, Jenny brought up my night with two men as though the whole thing was quite scandalous and I had to basically have the whole conversation over again.

This time around though I added my own insights and thoughts a bit better. After all, neither of these women had ever really thought of oral sex before. The idea both horrified and intrigued them I could tell. Jenny was older, and her children had grown and left northwards. Charlene on the other hand was maybe twenty and was actually trying to get pregnant and having some difficulty with it. At one point I briefly met her husband when she had him measure my feet. He was a quiet olive-skinned man with little to say, in fact, I don’t think he really said anything, at least that I could recall.

We had tea as Charlene measured me with various strings and overall had something of a fun morning. When Jenny and I returned to her home she couldn’t help but ask me, “Do you intend to stay here for a few days while you wait for your dress and shoes?” I could tell that she had a mixed impression of that.

I couldn't help but blink several times as the implications really dawned on me. Yet my answer came easily enough, “I… I don’t know to be honest. I appreciate that you’ve let us stay so far… but I need to speak with Devin, and…” Then there was the dungeon. As usual, I tended to forget everything when I got distracted by what was in front of me. I decided to at least clear something up before I lost track of it, “Do you mind if we did? I admit I wasn’t a good guest last night.” I admitted trying to be at least sympathetic since I couldn’t be shameful.

“I don’t dislike your company… but my husband may not be as easygoing. So it depends on what he says.” Jenny admitted.

Oops. “I understand…” I said after a few moments. Still what else was I going to do? When did we plan on eating? Wasn’t this supposed to be breakfast? “How much longer until we eat?” I asked.

“When the boys return.” She said warmly as she took to her seat and started working on her weaving again.

Great… What the hell was I going to do in the meantime? I stood there awkwardly for a few minutes practically fiddling my fingers. If we couldn’t stay here where else was an option? I would have to figure out how to explain staying here to Naan too, but I'd already gone and placed an order thinking it would be ready today... I really did operate by a different commonsense sometimes didn't I? I suppose that was to be expected, I'd seen the world I came from now, it was nothing like this world. I wasn't entirely sure what it was like though, but towers of glass and lights, switches, and magic tablets... It was clearly not anything like this world.

I pushed that line of thought from my mind and focused on trying to be productive. I could waste some time asking other homes, or… Didn’t someone say something about an old church? Maybe there was a room there?

“Umm… how do I get to the old church?” I asked lest think better of it.

“Oh, it's down the street, hard to miss it since it's the last building before the wall. Why?”

“I heard it was empty, and I figured I’d check it out if staying here wasn’t an option.” I explained.

Jenny couldn’t help but seem pained for a fraction of a moment, “Right. I don’t know that I’d want to stay in such a place. But…”

But what Jenny!? Though out loud I was more passive, “Is there an issue?”

“No…” She said awkwardly.

“No?” I pressed, there had to be something, or this whole response was silly.

“It's just that the former priest was killed by the inquisition.” She offered.

The what!? Wait just a damn second! What exactly is this about!? “The inquisition?” I mused hoping for elaboration.

She nodded distracted from her weaving for the moment, “That's right you're not from around here so I can see why you’ve not heard of that name. We call them that, they prefer to be called the order of Jerome, god of order.”

More gods huh? First, we had some crazy priestess that wants to torture and murder people. Now we got an inquisition... “Why did they kill him?” I decided was most prudent.

“We don’t know. He seemed like a nice enough man, he wasn’t one of Jerome’s, rather he followed the goddess of fertility. I forget her name for the top of my head.” Jenny explained.

Something told me I was likely on the shit list for both of these deities… Still, I understand her hesitancy. “Thanks for telling me. If they come back could you send someone to find me if I’m not back before then?” I asked.

“Of course.” She smiled back at me. She really was quite friendly, both her and Charlene and had been a breath of fresh air to me. I didn’t get the feeling I had many women as friends, more like I worked with a lot of them but we rarely spoke besides work? Maybe it was more that I just didn’t have friends… That thought felt more real to me. Considering how well my sister and I had gotten along... Maybe it was a minefield kind of topic for me.

Still, I might as well take a look at what the other option was while I had free time right? If nothing else maybe Naan would contact me after a bit.