Lionheart began explaining as he raised the bird’s head to be at his height.

-I’ll say a few words first. I’ll let you know when it’s your tu…-

-But I only know how to say my name!-

I interrupted him.

Wasn’t it strange to only say your name in a message? Wouldn’t it come out as rude?

-That’s plenty, don’t worry. I’m sure it will make him happy.-

Without another word, he turned to the seeking bird. 

This one slowly moved its neck to face Lionheart who began speaking to it. I obviously couldn’t hear any of it, but I could see his expressions as he talked.

At first, he looked serious, almost austere, but after a few moments, his face switched to an apologetic expression. Almost sad. He spoke much longer wearing that expression before seemingly forcing himself to brighten up. He began gesticulating and I could see his lips move faster. This continued for quite a while, I don’t know what he was saying, but he was passionate. Usually, I would probably have started snoozing from just staring like this for so long, but somehow I found myself transfixed with the way he spoke. 

It was like watching the singers at the theatre the other day. The opera singer had been very boring, but between her and the mummers, there had been a pretty purple-haired woman in a long flowy yellow dress who had sang a quiet song.

I had been fascinated at the time, not by the singing obviously, but by the way, her lips danced. It wasn’t like when people spoke. There was a rhythm and smoothness to it. Like a dance.

It got me thinking; what song do I know? I used to know a lot of songs, but the more I tried to recall the words, the more I realised I forgot. I used to have a favourite song though. ‘A Fey spring’ it was called.

It has been more than a year since the last time I heard it though… I can only recall the chorus. It went something like this:

‘She said to me, my red lady;

A prick from a stick;

Is as a droplet from a bucket;

We can cry, but it would be wise;

To simply laugh and move along with your craft.’

I never really understood the whole story in the song, but it never failed to cheer me up.

As I was lost in thoughts, I didn’t notice right away when dad started looking at him. He wasn’t talking anymore and simply looking at me patiently with a smile on his face.

-It’s your turn, Silika.-

He signed softly.

I nodded and straightened my posture. I took a deep breath and went through my earlier exercise in my head. It’s not that I had forgotten, but I would feel very bad if I somehow messed it up now.

[S– Siileekah.]

Dad patted my head proudly.

-You can say it again if you want.-

He suggested.

Again? Did that mean I said it alright?

I nodded and cleared my throat.

[Siileekah!]

Lionheart nodded satisfied. He said a few more words to the seeking bird before touching its back and closing his eyes. 

A moment later it spreads its wings wide open, surprising me. 

I didn’t really realise how big it was when just standing here, but its wingspan was larger than the desk. It was a miracle that it had not knocked anything over. 

Lionheart walked to the windows and opened them wide. The bird did not hesitate. As soon as they were wide enough, it jumped from the desk and hurled itself through the window. Excitedly I ran after it and watched as it flew toward the bright blue sky.

-How long will it take for it to reach grandfather?-

I asked, still watching the now shrinking bird on the horizon.

-It should only take two or three days at most. Compared to us, he doesn’t need to rest and can fly over mountains and rivers.-

I nodded as I watched the white shape disappear in the distance.

-You were singing, you know?-

Lionheart commented, an amused expression on his face.

-What?! Really?-

I was singing? Did I start making noise without realising again? Oh, this is so embarrassing.

Lionheart nodded.

-Well more like humming. Quite well, all things considered. I even recognised the song, I think. I’m sure grand-dad will be very happy to hear all of it.-

He continued with a smile.

-He will hear it?! How? I thought the bird only repeated words!-

Lionheart shook his head.

-Nope! It listens to every noise.-

I felt my cheeks turn red.

-This is embarrassing. It can’t have been very good.-

-It was very nice, don’t worry.-

I looked out the window again, worried.

-Do you really think grandfather will be happy about me? He won’t hate me?-

I asked as I turned to Lionheart, suddenly worried.

-I’m sure he will. There are no grandparents who aren’t happy about meeting their grandchild.-

-Really? I never met mine though…-

I replied, doubtful of his word.

My understanding of ‘family ties’ had always been limited to my immediate family. The concept of a grandfather being anything more than a person worthy of respect was a foreign concept to me.

-Is that so?-

He responded inquisitively to my assertion to which I nodded.

-That woman’s dad lived very far, and that man’s parents were already gone when I was born, but my sister told me…-

“YOUR sister?”

I heard a voice roar behind my back.

Surprised, I turned around toward the voice that had called me out.

“I don’t remember being sister with such an ugly pink rat!”

The voice was foreign, but the face was unmistakable. It was Ela, the shape was blurry, but her hair and her prickly lips were unmistakable.

[W-What are…!]

“You’re sad you never met grandfather? Ha!”

I grit my teeth through her mockery. It felt… Bad… A burning sensation spread through my skin. It was itchy. So itchy. 

“He wouldn’t have liked you anyway.”

She continued, her eyes upturned in a spiteful expression.

She was lazily looking me up and down her eyes never meeting mine as though she was observing an especially unappealing object.

The itching got worse. It was the stains and scars the crop had left on my skin. I wanted to scratch every one of these marks. Scratch them until they bleed and disappear forever.

“Boohoohoo my name is Silika! I’m a baby who always whines! I make mom and dad mad and then I wonder why I’m in TIME-OUT!”

She said as she got closer to me.

[Shut up!]

I screamed at her.

She knows nothing, she doesn't know anything! 

“Is that what you think? That I hit you because I didn’t ‘know’? Ha! No. I hit you because I wanted to. Because I hated you. I still hate you. If I had a stick right now… Yeah, you’re the worst thing that has ever happened to me, to Knox, to Dalton, to mom and dad...”

I felt my blood boil, but she only grinned as she turned her head to my side.

“...And look at that! You found yourself a new victim! I can’t wait to see how long it last before he starts hating you as well. He’ll kick you out and you’ll come crawling back.”

She looked back at me and with her indexes pulled a forced smile on her lips.

“I’ll be so happy to see you again since I’ll finally be able to finish what we started back then!”

Tears streaming down my face I rushed toward her and pushed as hard as I could.

[Shut up!]

She laughed at me.

“What’s that? You’re already running away from your ‘new dad’? Like you ran away from us? You’re pathetic.”

I raised my fist and brought it down as hard as I could against her side.

[Shut…]

I brought back my other hand and punched her straight in the stomach.

[...Up!]

She laughed.

I hit her again.

[YOU’RE bad!]

And again.

[I hate you!]

I gripped the side of her skirt and kicked her shin with my bare foot.

[I hate all of you!]

I kicked her over and over..

[I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!]

I kicked, punched and screamed so much that I became out of breath. 

My legs gave out and I fell to my knees. I tried to stand up again, but could barely muster the strength to talk anymore.

[I– I hate…]

Through the pain in my chest and my legs, I raised my head to say it to her face one more time, but she was gone.

She probably had never been there in the first place. 

On the other hand, someone else was standing there.

Lionheart. Dad.

Realising what I had just done, tears started flooding my eyes.

[I– I’m sorry! I– I didn’t mean to…]

Wordlessly, he bent down and picked me up and held me in a tight embrace.

Not knowing what else to do, I let my warm tears stain the white of his shirt as he slowly rocked me from side to side until I started feeling better.

Dad continued to hold me all day. Reassuring me that he understood and that he still loved me, but I continued feeling terribly guilty.

The next few days went by quickly and the memories of my outburst subsided. 

Before I knew it, the day came for our departure and my belongings were all packed up and strapped to a coach. 

The front of the manor was very busy. Many servants would be departing as well as the Ashbrook garrison which would be following us on our journey. 

As Lionheart had explained to me, our family had a long-standing history of military exploits and by that fact, had many vassal knights, some of which had been stationed with him in Evergreen in case the kingdom was called to war. 

This was also the reason why Mili was currently squeezing me so hard, I was beginning to think my arms would pop out of their sockets before she released me. I continued to pat her back until she finally let me breathe. 

Snot hanging from her nose, she signed to me.

-I’m so sorry, Silika! I’ll be right behind you guys. It’s just that…-

-I know, I know. It’s okay Mili, your dad is still on patrol. He’ll be back soon I’m sure and anyway, we’ll see each other when we arrive in Clotop!-

She nodded strongly as she wiped her tears. I hadn’t realised how attached to me she had become in our time together, but seeing her like this made me feel warm inside. I twas nice to know that I had a friend in her.

Stash at her side scolded her lightly, probably because she called me by my name again, before turning toward me.

-I wish you a safe journey, my lady.-

He signed with his usual smile.

-You’re really not coming with us?-

I asked again, hoping that somehow the answer would change.

-I’m afraid not, my lady. I am bound to this residence like an oyster to its shell, but worry not, my colleague at the Clotop estate will be more than able to serve you adequately.-

He stated before concluding with a bow.

Lionheart walked up to us and put his hand on my head. He spoke to the two of them for a few moments before turning to me.

-All set?-

I nodded before waving at Stash and Mili one last time.

Dad took me by the hand and we headed for our carriage.

He helped me to my seat and arranged some pillows for me to lay back on. It would be a long journey, so comfortable clothes were primordial. That was also why I was dressed in a large and loose cotton dress that could double as a blanket if I became sleepy.

-Nervous?-

Lionheart asked as he sat at my side.

I shrugged.

-I don’t really remember my last trip all that well… But I did go somewhere better.-

Lionheart nodded, not pressing the subject.

-Well, let us hope this trip leads to a similar result.-

It was only a few minutes later when I felt the carriage moving. I looked out the window watching all the other carriages in front and behind us as well as mounted knights on either side of our small convoy

I thought back on all the friends I had made here, the things I had learned and the things I had experienced.

A strange feeling grew in my chest. It wasn’t sadness, happiness, anger or anxiety. It was something else. A feeling of regrets for what I was leaving behind, but excitement for what was to come.