It is 0600 hours when I wake up in my small quarters, time to rise and shine. Sleep didn't come easy last night, it was just too warm in here and there were too many unfamiliar noises outside of my quarters. After freshening up and changing into my uniform, I asked the computer what today's tasks would be.

Imagine my surprise when I got more than I had asked for. These people seem to plan every single action they want me to perform, it is definitely something to get used to. 

 

The following schedule was prepared for me for today:
before 1200 hours: review training videos:
-current ship type and general layout
-using your quarters' basic functions: shower, cleaning, to.. (..expand to continue)
-how to keep your quarters sanitized
-ship's basic code of conduct
-how to request medical approval for relationships on board
-addressing superiors; military salute
-communication tools and protocols
-Groknac species review
-Earth species review

One of them is a bit too personal for me, why do they think that I even want to have a relationship? 
I sighed when I realized that I will be stuck here all day watching online training videos. Pity that nothing is included on the Shalna homeworld, my new home. 

BEEP, "do you want to view the next page of today's duties?"

"You have got to be kidding me, there is more? Sure!" I said. Why not?

BEEP "continued"
-1300: prepare strategy to contact Earth
-1600: contact admiral Ikeshia Jocaryn and discuss your first contact strategy
-1800: meet your communications officer in the mess hall
Mission objectives: 
-Primary objective: assist Earth in asking for our support in defending against an imminent Groknac attack.
-Secondary objective: motivate Earth into joining the Empire

"Oh my god. They want me to do all of this today?"

 

After breakfast I started reviewing the training videos and lucky for me, most of them were common sense. The approval procedure for relationships was apparently a common thing throughout the Empire, so it is more of a health requirement. 

Learning about elevators and other basic ship's functions was an eye opener; I had to review some additional videos for those, as I had to learn them all from scratch.  

The salute between military personnel is different from the one I am used to. They salute by making a fist of your right hand and placing it just below the left shoulder, and hold it there for a few seconds. Otherwise the military conduct is nothing special compared to my experiences on Earth. 

The Groknac species review was very interesting. Apparently they are a race of warriors that decimate worlds who do not conform to their way of life. The videos described them as being extremely sensitive to giving and demanding respect and demanding to be recognized as a superior race. They view other races as lower life forms; resisting the Groknac basically involves death and destruction. What I didn't expect was their physical characteristics. 
They are a lizard-like race, speaking in broken sentences, often hard to understand. And the cherry on top of the proverbial pie is their seemingly low level of intelligence. I wonder, a species capable of space travel, are they really not so bright? I hope that I never have to encounter those creatures.

And then came my favorite topic: Earth species. Nobody officially knows that I am from Earth, so I had a good laugh more than once. It seems that they had discovered Earth two hundred years ago already, but we were never interesting enough to plan a first contact mission for. Even the Groknac left us alone in our little corner of the galaxy. 
A recent update in the video showed that Earth had now reached Technology Level 1. I assume they are talking about the atom-communication project I was involved in. I asked the computer to pass along a message to the record keepers, so they could fix some errors and omissions. 

I asked for the following corrections: 
-They are not Earth species. But they are called humans in the English language. 
-there are many languages, there is no "Earth speak"
-humans are violent, highly territorial creatures, based on many Earth transmissions. What? That is television, I needed to inform them about fiction and reality! 

 

After a later than hoped lunch, I returned to my cramped quarters to start my strategy preparations.
I sat down on my bed, trying to get some productivity out of these Shalna...Shalnaen....whatever, my new brains.

After pacing for half an hour and being stuck on the same thought, I left my quarters for some new inspiration.
In my hands are an old fashioned notebook and something that resembles a pen. It took a while to get my computer to spit it out, but I need some low-tech for a while in order to focus. Besides, it was fun to do and helped me practice what I had learned this morning. I was happy that the pen worked as expected. Not knowing many inspiring places on the ship, I decided to head for the mess hall. 

 

I am now seated in a quiet corner, a glass of fresh cold water next to me and the notebook in front of me.
People around me are chatting at a low volume, occasionally there is a loud laugh, but these people are well behaved and don't distract me. 

What should I do...how do I contact Earth? I don't have a cell phone, and landing on the freshly mown grass of the White House doesn't seem the right thing to do either. Or...imagine hovering above Washington in one of these cruisers..no, not going to happen. I only have one week for this to work, as we are talking about the future of the Earth here, so I cannot afford to fail. Without realizing it, I have been coloring the notebook with some random scribbles in the corners. 

"Hiya, what is that thing? Oh goddess, that looks so retro." A young woman around my age says, while showing a well meant interest and a smile to top it off.

"Ah, good afternoon. Yes, I am trying to get some inspiration for an assignment. Sometimes we are distracted by all our gadgets, so I thought I'd try this the old way, using a notebook and a pen."

Luckily she doesn't stand on ranks as well, as I believe that she is a security guard, but I am not sure.

"Might I have a look?" she asks.

"Sure, here. You can try to write something if you want."

"Really? Don't mind if I do. Ahhh, amazing, this thing colors that note-thing you have."

"Yes, it is an ancient design, I have to admit. That is called a pen, and that is a notebook."

"Interesting. But why is the notebook not sealed on each corner? It looks broken."

Really? I feel really old for some reason.
"You can carefully tear a bit off from the top, revealing a new, fresh layer to write on."

"crrr ssss"  And she tore a page off.  "Amazing, you can write on this one, but then you can continue on the other. Can you erase that as well?"

"No, the idea is that the writing is permanent, until I recycle it again," I said.

"Are you studying an ancient language perhaps?" She was really getting curious now.

"Well, if you want, you can join me. I am preparing a first contact mission for the planet below us."

"Ohhhhh....you are a diplomat. I apologize, I didn't recognize that uniform. Maybe I should......"

"Ah, nononno, honestly, I am new here and also, I didn't recognize your uniform either. So if you want, you are welcome to sit here. Maybe you can give me some ideas, as I am still in the brainstorming phase."

"The what? You have to explain that to me, give me a minute and I will gladly join you."

"No problem, take your time, I have about two hours for this."

She nodded and ordered something to eat and drink.

I was scribbling again when she sat down. I gave her a quick smile and started scribbling again.

"Wha manguage iz da?" She said, her mouth not completely empty.

"What language? None really. This helps to clear my mind. My hand just scribbles, without me realizing, something random on the paper, while my brain is warming up for some serious brainstorming."

"Interesting. Does that hurt?" She asks, drinking a glass of water before continuing to eat. 

Oh god, really?
"hahaha, what, the brainstorming session?" She nods, while chewing.  "No, it is just an expression when people are writing down anything that might potentially be useful. The idea is not to think too much, and just write it down. Then the rational mind starts to focus on a few of the more useful parts, trying to formulate the best approach to a problem." 

"Amazing." She said.

"Not really, it is an old well-known practice."

"No, sorry, I meant you. You are really great at explaining things, now I want to have those things myself to practice."

"ah ha ha," I laughed, showing a bit of bush.

"Awww, you are blushing."

"Yes, I know, sorry. I do that a lot lately. Don't know why."

"No worries, I won't tell anyone."

"Thank you." What did she mean by that?

"How is your progress?" she asked, finished eating her meal and now drinking more water.

"Zero, nada, zip" I said, lost in thought. She looked surprised.  "Nevermind, it means I have made no progress yet." 

"I am sorry to hear that. Ehh, I hope you don't mind, but I have to go, my shift starts in fifteen minutes."

"Sure, no problem..hope to see you again," I smiled. 

"Good luck, see you, bye!" she smiled, and left me all alone again. 

Think, think, think. What would I do if I wanted to contact Earth for the first time? How would I even contact them...? Ahah!  Television. Yes, that might just work. This distraction must have helped me, because the ideas now came easily to me. 

Then it dawned on me, I am no longer human. Worst part, I am actually talking about contacting humans, no longer about contacting a nation. 

 

 

And so, finally, I formulated my strategy for a very important first contact mission with Earth's humans: 
-we will scan Earth's television broadcasts. Then we will record a message and send it back to Earth, using the same encoding as the television signal. But we will broadcast our message as a narrow datastream only to the exact coordinates of the White House. That should prevent the signal from being picked up by others.
-The message itself will be simple. I will explain what has happened to my ship, and that Earth will be under attack soon. That should get their attention. I just have to make sure that I don't accidentally reveal my identity.
-I will then ask them to reply on the same frequency and narrow beam transmission to our location. 
Basically this means I am giving away our position, so we need a relay of sorts. I don't want to bring harm to this ship. 
- Why would I focus on the White House? Well, my many years of service in the US Navy might prove useful.
I could have chosen any other country, but I have no experience with their military, politics, anything. It might work out fine, but I need the home advantage. I could also choose to send the datastream to the whole world, but that might cause a mass panic. 

Well, this at least sounds like a plan to me. Now comes the hard part, I need to discuss this with the Admiral.

 

I returned to my quarters and checked the time, it was 1537 hours already. I sent a text message to the Admiral's office, requesting a strategy meeting with her regarding Earth. Of course I included the results of my brainstorming session.

Five minutes have passed without any message, until BEEP. 

Apparently I don't need to wait very long for the Admiral to respond, so I accept the incoming comm.call.

"Good afternoon Ayanna. Happy to see that your training session was useful."

"Good afternoon Admiral. Yes, they were very..informative."

She looks at me for a second, frowns, then decides to focus on our topic. "Good. Thank you for transmitting your strategy and for filing updates on the Earth records. They were very...informative as you say."

Great, she knows everything I do around here and now also uses my own words against me. Best to keep my reply simple. "Yes, Admiral. Happy to be of help."

She turns around, thanks another employee who just gave her a tablet of sorts. Then she says "one minute please."

"Of course," I said.

Half a minute later, the Admiral addressed me again "Ayanna, we agree on your first contact approach.  
But we are running out of time, we have detected several vessels leaving the Groknac system. They are on a direct course to Earth. We don't know the ship types yet, but we can only assume that they are coming to look for their non-responding buddies. Our reinforcements are already on their way, but might not be able to intercept them."

"Admiral, may I?"

"Of course."

"How can we convince Earth into asking for our help, when our reinforcements might not even arrive on time?"

"OUR reinforcements? Well said Ayanna, you seem to be adjusting well. Anyway, their homeworld is closer to Earth than ours, so this was to be expected. That is why I already ordered our reinforcements to depart earlier. 
One of the important things in diplomacy when dealing with emergency situations is transparency. Honesty is the best strategy here, but you can assure them that we will do literally everything we can to be there on time."

"Yes Admiral, I understand." 

"Good, I see that you have a meeting scheduled with your communications officer, or comm.officer as we like to say. You will be their commanding officer, and I will also add three fully armed special forces under your command. Just as a precaution. Your keywords for your mission are careful, polite and persuasive."

"I understand," I said.

"Good. Ayanna, just one more question. What is a white house?"

"Well, it is not A white house, but THE White House. It is a term to refer to the office of the leader of one nation." 

"Interesting terminology. And Ayanna?"

"Yes, Admiral?"

"Well done so far. I told you that your contribution to our cause would be valuable. And...don't be so nervous. You can do this, I have had these discussions a million times already. You....can.... do.....this."

"Thank you Admiral. I will do my best," I had to smile, she really tried to reassure me.

"I expect nothing less. Now on a personal note. We seem to speak the same language here, but that only seems like it. Our computers translate our conversations, but now that you are a Shalna, it is best to learn how to read, write and speak our language. It will also help you learn our ways, and help you if for some reason our computer translation would be unavailable. I will add this task to your task list. Any more questions?"

I was overwhelmed again. 

"Eh..no Admiral."

"Good answer. We believe in you. Good luck. End of transmission." 

Oh my god. Now I can learn their language too! My to-do list just keeps growing.

BEEP

Now what? "Computer, why the beep?"

"Your tasks have been updated."

Of course they have. "Okay, show them to me."

Today's task list:
-meet your communications officer in the mess hall at 1800
Mission objectives: 
-Primary objective: assist Earth in asking for our support in defending against an imminent Groknac attack.
-Secondary objective: motivate Earth into joining the Empire
Other objectives:
-learn to read, write and speak the Shalna language.

Great, just great. I took a deep breath.

"What are tomorrow's tasks?"

BEEP "Not yet available."

Nice, I can already guess that I need to contact Earth tomorrow. But let's wait for the official task.

 

I relax a bit in my quarters until I see that it is 1723 hours. I can't stand waiting in my quarters anymore as it is turning into an office already, and a really cramped one at that. I just need to get out. 

So I decided to walk to the mess hall and get an early dinner. Nobody said that we need to eat together, and I am really hungry.

 

The doors slide open and I enter the mess hall. The place is full, like really full. A loud chatter can be heard all around me. There is currently no table free for me to sit at, and I don't want to join others.

I therefore decide to walk to the food dispenser and see if I can understand its workings before I really order something. On my way to the machines I notice people glance at me, then immediately look elsewhere. Why? I am even smiling, aren't I? Come to think of it, I don't really have any friends here yet. Sure, at least some people were nice to me, but really friends? I feel like they don't want to approach me or that I am strange.

Okay, food machine. Do I understand how you work? No, not even in a billion years. It is packed with symbols and I don't feel like bothering the staff here to get me something. This will be the next training video that I will be watching. I at least need to try getting food myself, so I let my fingers slowly trace the different buttons, all of which seem to be equally confusing. Wave patterns, circles with dots in them, none of them make any sense. On Earth at least they use recognisable symbols. Or maybe I also just got used to those? Whatever.

Then my deep thoughts were interrupted by a man standing next to me on my right. He is taller than me, looks to be around my age and he is wearing a uniform with blue stripes on his shoulder. His big blue eyes are so deep I could drown in them. He is quite handsome...ahhh, what am I thinking?

"Excuse me?"  I said, a bit later than I should have.

"I asked if you needed any help?"

Oh oh, I am blushing. I quickly focus on the machine to hide my blush and say "yes, I am trying to order something to eat, but I can't understand this thing at all."

"Hahaha," he laughs, but in a kind way,  "I would hope not. That is the air conditioning unit."

My eyes locked onto his eyes.....his deep blue eyes, "aha, sorry about that. I am new here."

"Yes, I know. My name is Taegen Pasalor and I believe that I'm your new comm.officer."

My blush returned, showing my embarrassment, "ah, yes, my apologies. Let me introduce myself." I tried to salvage what was left of my first impression. "I am Ayanna Vohali, liaison-officer, diplomatic division."

"That has a nice ring to it. Nice to meet you, just call me Taegen."

"Nice to meet you too....Taegen. Ah...please call me Ayanna. I don't mind being informal."

"Great, most officers maintain a distance with their subordinates. This is refreshing. Now, how about a meal?"

"Oh, yes please."  

"This one is the food dispenser. Just press this button and say what you would like to eat.
Let me show you...Seared Planar Serval."

And....something something came out of the machine. Smells fishy, like really fishy.

"Ayanna, do you want the same? There is a line forming behind us."

I turned around and said "sorry to keep you waiting", then answered him "yes the same please. Smells good."

We see an empty spot somewhere in the center, and sit down at the table.  

I poke in what is supposed to be dinner and carefully take a bite.

"Do you like it?" he asks.

"Yes, it reminds me of fish."

"Haha, that is because it is fish. Well, at least it is made to look and taste like fish."

I nodded and continued to eat. Oh god, I think I will be eating a lot of this....fishy thing for the foreseeable future, as I have no idea what else to get.

When we both had finished our meals, I said "Taegen,..may I ask a silly question?"

"Sure, I like silly questions," his face showing a huge grin.

Okay....he is up to something...

"Do you know why people glance at me, and then look away as if I wasn't even here? Did I do something wrong?" I said, preparing for the worst.

"No Ayanna, there is nothing wrong. Your uniform clearly identifies you as a diplomat. It is only natural for people to show you some respect. There really is no more to it."

"Ah, thank god, so I don't look funny or something?" 

"No, honestly, you look amazing." Again that grin on his face.

Of course that triggered another very visible blushing event on my face. I was fiddling with my uniform and looked at my table, then meekly said "thank you." 

I guess he saw that I felt uncomfortable, so he changed the subject. Smooth, really smooth.

"Ayanna, I almost forgot. Please forgive me for not greeting you properly when we introduced ourselves."

He then held his right hand in front of him, like giving me a stop sign.

Ah, sure, I can do that. So I gave him a high-five, the sound of the clap really audible. 
Then...his face showed utter surprise. Oh god, what did I do? Is that an insult here?

"What did I do wrong?" I said, grimacing. 

He then shows a very smug smile. But he doesn't answer me.

"Tell me...what?" I asked, sounding really annoyed.

"I didn't know you liked me that much already," he said.  

"Wha....what? How would you...oh my god..." My face was as red as the afterburner of an F18. 
I hid my face with my hands, well I tried to hide it, because the damage was already done. 

I peeped between my fingers, oh god, the whole mess hall went silent. Dead silent. 
Every single person here looked at me in wonder.

Lucky for me, Taegen shouted to the others "hahaha, she is just kidding people. Just ignore us, I was just teasing her."

Teasing me? Oh my god. Of course, I am a woman, he is not teasing me! I...I think he is flirting!

He waits for me to drop my hands, then he locks his big blue eyes onto mine, and says "it is alright now, Ayanna."

"Really? What did I do wrong?" I whispered. 

"Come a bit closer, I can't say this out loud." So I held my ear closer to his mouth.

"Ayanna, listen to me. I shouldn't say this, but you have the right to know. 
Even telling you this is dangerous for me. But I trust you. I know you are from Earth and..."

I glare at him, then he motions me to continue listening. 

"...and that you were a male before the accident."

I glare again at him, tilting my head to show I am not amused. 

Again, he wants me to listen. 

"I promise I won't tell anyone. And I really think you are a beautiful woman."

Now I look surprised, I put my head on the table in total confusion. Now what do I do? What is he up to?
After a minute I peek at him, and he wants me to listen again.

He then continues to whisper "Rianna told me how you felt, so I just wanted to tell you that I want to accept who you really are."

My head hit the table this time. Multiple times. I am about to yell here so I can vent some steam. My boilers are going to explode any time now.

Again I need to listen. There is more? I think he read my mind.  

"Yes, there is more. Relax and listen. There are two more things. One...you don't say oh my god, in our culture, but oh goddess. Please remember that, it is important. And more importantly, you could have saluted or you should have greeted me the same way I did. Both our hands should be in the same place, but they should never touch each other. If you do touch, depending on the pressure you exert, you convey your.....feelings to me."

"Oh my.......oh goddess!!!"  I corrected myself. My head hit the table again in total embarrassment. 
I hope my face is not deformed by now.

After a few minutes I peeked at him again. He was still there. 

I said "so when I really smacked your hand...."

"Yes, exactly."

"Oh goddess."

"Indeed. I assume you had some other meaning in mind?" he asked.

"Yes, in my culture, it is an informal greeting between friends. We call it a high-five."

"I see. Well, I recommend not doing that in public again."

"Yes.....I figured as much," still blushing.

"One more thing.."

"What...there is moooore?"

"Hahah, yes Ayanna. You should perhaps look at our cultural database."

"Okay...but why?"

"Just check it, and search for blushing."

I just stared at him for a minute. A very long minute, because only then did I understand the meaning.

"Okay, I have to get out of here. I need some fresh air, sorry Taegen."

 

 

I look around, and see people smiling at us. Oh goddess. Yes, they must think that we are a couple.
I am soooo getting out of here now.

"Ayanna," Taegen's voice pulled me back into reality. "How about we walk to the arboretum?"

"Well....yes please, anyplace except here." I'm sure that he didn't want to embarrass me.

We recycle our leftovers and leave the mess hall. I decided to follow him and absolutely not walk next to him as I first need to cool down before I can talk properly again. 

A few very silent minutes later, we entered the arboretum. But that is a major understatement. 

This place is huge! Everything they do here is huge, except for my quarters. However, this is a whole forest, not just some trees and shrubs here and there.

"You like it?" he asks, also showing a very warm, but sincere smile. 

"Yes, this place is beautiful. And...so...huge."

"It should be, the oxygen created here is distributed throughout the ship. Even though we can generate oxygen ourselves, we believe that the oxygen from real trees just smells a bit more...natural. Does that make sense?"

"Yes, it actually does." 

I followed him to a wall and then, after some trees, I saw huge, really huge windows. Through them I can see into the depths of space, stars are all around us, making the darkness of space seem just a bit less....empty. 

The ship must be turning a bit, as the Earth now fully comes into view. Amazing, from up here there are no borders, no disputes, just nature. Earth is beautiful. But...it is no longer my home..

"You look sad," he said.

"Well, that used to be my home." 

"Oh, I hadn't thought of that. But I see your point. Maybe you should look up your new homeworld, the Shalna home. I am sure you will like the view too. And...Ayanna?"

"Yes?" I may have looked somewhat surprised at that moment.

"May I ask you a very personal question?" 

"ehhhh....."

"If you don't want to answer, I am okay with that, " he said with a serious expression.

I nodded, to show him to go ahead.

"About what happened to your body..."  

Oh oh... "yes.....?" I said.

"Are you really..."  He looked at me, from my head to my shoes and back. 

"Am I what?" I said, with just a hint of anger in my voice. I hate this subject. I don't want to be bullied.

"Like Rianna said, really a woman inside too?..." 

That is when I turned around and ran off. All the way to the exit, but I couldn't find it. 
I was lost in this artificial forest. The only thing I could do was to sit down between two huge trees, not caring about my uniform and start to cry. All my anger, my disappointments, years of controlled emotions. What is happening? I can't keep these feelings under control anymore. I thought that I had already processed this, but I guess not. That is when I stopped thinking. I only cried and cried. Until I heard Taegen's voice.

"I am so sorry. You must hate me." He said, very gently.

We made eye contact, I could see he was really sorry. He must be looking at my eyes, red from all the tears.

"No"..sniff.. "I don't..." sniff.. "hate you at all."  I said...more or less.

"What can I do to ask for your forgiveness?" he said in a soft, caring voice. He really was sorry. 

I stood up, and locked my eyes into his. "I have always been a woman and somehow was able to ignore that fact. Only recently did I become one on the outside too. Just....don't tell anyone. I don't want to be bullied. Talking about this hurts more than you could ever know."   

He then made a very strange gesture, he crossed his arms, then put his hands on his shoulders, almost on his back. Then back to normal.

I had to laugh at that. That was the most crazy thing I have ever seen. Even while here on this ship.
"What was that?" I asked, my emotions slowly returning to normal.

"Ah, that? That is our way to promise we won't tell anyone. Our goddess is our witness. So you now know how serious I am."

"Ah...thank you." I said, now giving him a careful smile. Not blushing at all.

"And I like your blush."

Oh god....dess.  And there goes my blush again. I need to get back to my quarters. I am finished for today.

"Yes, that blush." He said, smiling warmly.

"Ayanna?"

"Yes...?" Now what????? 

"I would like to spend time with you, you really are beautiful," he said, while I stared into his deep blue eyes.

I was turning very red....this is obviously flirting, I'm not that dense. "y...you are direct aren't you?"

"Direct? Ah, it must be a cultural thing. I am sorry. We Shalna just share our feelings to others. We have learned that honesty is always the best course when you care for someone. How did you convey your feelings on Earth?"

"Well......we go on a date. Then we see if our feelings match. If they do...well...another date...or more."

"A date?" he asked.

"How do I explain that?" I said, shaking my head while looking at my feet. Then I focus on his eyes again.
He really is tall...and his eyes.... Ah stop!!  I was sooo not blushing.

"A date is when people go do something fun, like walking together, going somewhere,.." 

"So....this is a date then? We are walking together?"

I turn around, pretending to focus on the nicest tree I have ever seen. Sad part is that it probably is too.

Then he continued "Sorry to be so....direct you called it. Do you wish to continue to explore our feelings or focus on our job?"

This is where I covered my face with my hands again. 

"Again too direct, huh?" 

I only nodded.

"How about we focus on tomorrow's assignment? 

I then stared at his uniform, avoiding eye contact. "Taegen...I'm sorry...this is just too fast for me. I need to return to my quarters. Can we continue this another day? I promise, I first need to understand my own feelings." And I did that strange gesture he did earlier.

"Thank you, but you shouldn't do that so lightly. Now you have to talk to me about this again," he smiled, no he grinned.

"Haha, it is a promise I intend to keep. Goodnight Taegen."

"Goodnight Ayanna." he said. "You know how to get back?"

I facepalmed and shook my head. Of course...details..details...

Let's just say that we walked all the way to my quarters before we said our goodbyes again.