I eventually resurrected myself and tried to figure out what to do with myself. I didn’t really want to leave the hotel room, where strangers could see me, but I also didn’t want to still be here when Zach returned. I eventually settled on texting the girls and seeing what they were up to. The two of them, Zach and I were all in a text group chat we’d made for trip logistics. I sighed and decided to treat the chat as if Zach wasn’t there, rather than forking off a new one just for this.

Hey, either of you wanna hang out while Zach is busy, uh, on an expedition for ice machines?

I quickly got a response for Maria.

Sure, dude! You can just come over to our room and knock. Number 321.

The girls’ room was on the same floor as mine but down a hallway and around a bend. I knocked, suddenly worried I was somehow knocking on the wrong door and a stranger would pop out and yell at me.

“Just a moment!” I heard Maria’s voice shout out, and the door swung open.

I looked around as I stepped inside. “Amazing!” I said. “It’s literally identical to our room except mirrored.”

“Wait, are the weird paintings mirrored?” Maria asked.

I squinted at the ones on her wall. “...No, I think they’re just different paintings. It’s hard to remember though cuz they’re both just blobs of color.”

“Anyway, uh, nice shorts,” Maria said.

I flushed. “Zach already gave me enough shit about them, okay? I accidentally didn’t pack a bunch of the clothes I meant to bring.” I mean, that was true enough.

Maria raised her hands in placation. “No, I was being serious! It’s a good look on you. I wish more guys dressed like that. Do you shave your legs?”

I winced a bit at being called a guy, but I tried not to get mad at her. I mean, it’s not like she knew about my whole gender situation. “I wax them, actually.”

“Oh, at home or do you go to a salon?”

I shivered at the thought of having to go to a salon and having the employees think I was some weird dude. “I do it at home. There’s a lot you can do with lemon juice and sugar.”

“Huh. Neat! Anyway, uh, you wanna join us in watching this exciting–Jenna, which show is this?”

“House Hunters International,” Jenna said. “I think. It’s really hard to tell these HGTV shows apart.”

“Wow, thrilling stuff. Really making the most of your vacation.”

“Look, college is stressful,” Maria said. “Half the point of vacation for me is just veg without my parents hanging around.”

I vaguely remembered that Maria’s mom had volunteered for basically every school activity. “Does your mom put a lot of pressure on you?”

Maria shrugged. “I mean, I don’t know if it’s more than anyone else’s parents do. She means well, y’know? She really just wants to see me succeed.”

“It’s definitely more than most people’s parents,” Jenna opined. “Or more than my mom and stepdad, at least. They’re just happy as long as I’m not, like, in prison or a war criminal.”

“Damn. That sucks,” I said, not really sure what else to add to the conversation.

Maria decided to suddenly swing the conversation in a new direction. “So, uh, how are your parents? About… stuff?”

I raised an eyebrow at her, trying to play it cool although I had a sinking feeling in my stomach. “What do you mean, stuff?”

“Well, uh, I don’t want to assume too much… You know what, forget it.”

I was not going to forget it. And neither was Jenna apparently. She rolled her eyes. “Maria is, like, convinced that you’re gay and have a crush on Zach. She wouldn’t shut up about it last week. I keep telling her she shouldn’t ship people she knows in real life like that. Tumblr rotted her brain, I guess.”

I had surpassed the range that could be called a blush and was probably purple at this point. “I, uh, what? I…”

“I’m sorry!” Maria said. She shot a glare at Jenna. “I wasn’t gonna mention this because I knew it would weird you out. Thanks a lot, Jenna.”

I stood there silent for a moment, eyes wide like a deer in the headlights. Why… why would she think that? I mean, I was gay I guess–I was a girl and I liked girls–but I’d never had a crush on Zach. I mean, he was my oldest friend. Guy was a huge dork and also extremely gross. I couldn’t help but wonder if Maria was projecting her own feelings onto me.

Finally, I recovered at least a little bit of my composure. “Uh, no, I’m definitely not interested in Zach that way, and he’s not interested in me. We’re, uh, we’re both single. And we’re both str–we both like girls.”

Maria raised an eyebrow.

Fuck, I think she picked up on my phrasing.

“Alright, you both like girls. Noted,” she said. “Uh… I don’t really get the vibe from Zach, but… are you bi?”

“Maria!” Jenna snapped. “You can’t just ask people questions like that.” She turned to me. “I’m really sorry about her.”

“What?” Maria complained. “Being bi isn’t a bad thing. I’m not, like, insulting anyone. I’m just curious. Bi-curious.”

Jenna and I both groaned.

“The perfect reaction,” Maria said. “God, I love terrible puns.”

“Why must you make me suffer like this?” Jenna asked.

Maria waggled her eyebrows. “Maybe I like to make girls suffer a little.”

My face felt distinctly warm again. I knew that realistically she wasn’t including me in what she’d said, but some part of my brain had still seized onto it.

I decided denial was the best strategy here. “I’m not bi,” I said. I mean, I’d thought a little bit about a hypothetical boyfriend when fantasizing about living as a girl, but that was probably just internalized heteronormativity, right? “I just like girls.”

“So you’re straight?” Maria said. “Somehow I feel let down.”

“I didn’t say that!” I protested, feeling immediate irritation at someone denying my sapphicness. Wait. No. That’s not how a straight guy would respond in this situation. Fuck.

Maria’s eyebrows had now climbed practically to the top of her forehead. “So you like girls but you’re not straight? And those shorts…”

A wicked grin began to spread across her face and I shivered as she turned to look at me. “Let me just try a little experiment…”

She reached out and patted my head. “Good girl.”

I died again.