Chapter 1: Dreams and Miracles

I suppose some might find it strange that I considered a tavern and inn my home, so allow me to explain. The housing situation in the capital was more than a little troubled, as the shanty towns wrapped around the outer wall could attest. And so, for someone like me, who spent a lot of time on quests, having my own home was pointless. Keeping stocks of firewood and keeping a stocked larder just wasn't practical, either. So, instead of making the housing situation in the capital even worse by keeping my own home out of sheer frivolity, I rented a room at the inn full time. The room was well cared for, I could get meals whenever I needed them and the innkeeper knew that the room would never sit empty, so I even paid less for it per night than a regular guest would.

The room was cozy, with a large bed and a small kitchenette that I sometimes used and where I could have prepared something for Alisha and me to eat. However, we had just slain a Dark Lord and so I decided that we had earned ourselves a good meal, so we settled into the tavern on the ground floor and ordered something up. Alisha seemed unsure of what to get so when I ordered the house special and a mug of wine she decided to order the same.

No sooner had the barmaid left that Alisha started with the interrogation. I had expected that, though she did surprise me with the leading question: “So, why are you doing this? Helping Chosen Ones, I mean? You don't seem to like them very much but you still make a living helping them." She wasn't going to ask about the way I talked to the goddess or about my living situation?

“If I said I was just doing it because it pays well, would you stop bugging me?" I asked.

“No, because that's clearly not the whole truth," she said.

“And if I said I didn't like the idea of Dark Lords winning?" I asked.

“Getting closer," she said, smiling. “But still not the whole truth."

“Alright, fine," I said, exasperated. “I'll tell you if you tell me about you. What deity do you pray to?"

She considered, then nodded. “Alright, fine. I am a disciple of Brigid of the Tuatha Dé Danann."

That gave me pause. “I thought elves worship the Aesir?"

She shook her head, the motion making her ears flop back and forth. “The Light Elves worship the Aesir. My clan, however, are... I guess humans tend to call us Wood Elves as we mostly live in sacred forests. In reality, we are kin of the Fae, created as servants of the Tuatha. Or at least that's what we're told. We might all have the same ancestors."

I nodded. “Thank you for clarifying. So, Brigid. Aspect of the hearth or aspect of the forge?"

“Aspect of the hearth. My own magic has enough offensive potential."

At this point I should probably clarify. The cleric class is fairly complex as it is. Clerics were minor mages, with magic of their own, but not particularly powerful magic of their own when compared to a wizard. The connection they shared with their patron deity also granted them access to miracles, boons they could call down a certain number of times each day. As they got stronger, not only did their innate magic improve but also the number and power of miracles they could perform. Eventually they would become strong enough that their deity would allow them to cast minor miracles on their own authority, without it using up any of their allowance. Once they could use at least two miracles on their own they were called Minor Saints. As they then grew they became Saints and finally Great Saints. Once they reached Saint status they could create their own miracles and once they became Great Saints, other clerics could actually call on them for miracles once they had exhausted their allotted amount for the day. Most deities also had different aspects depending on what, precisely, the cleric wanted of them. For Brigid, a goddess of the hearth and the forge, her first aspect granted healing and nurturing abilities while her second aspect granted powerful fire miracles. Alisha had just told me that she had gone for the nurturing aspect because her innate magic was lacking in that.

“How many?"

“Four a day. If I work hard, I will soon be allowed to use Heal on my own. Your turn."

I sighed. I didn't think I'd ever told anyone the full story, so why was I willing to tell this girl I'd only met a few days ago?

“Ten years ago, when I was fifteen, the Dark Lord Absalom razed my hometown to the ground. The only reason I survived was because my mother and I were out selling our wares when it happened. I swore revenge on the Dark Lord and started training each day. It was slow going. I was begging the gods for help but nobody answered. So I kept training and amassing power of my own. I kept at it for a year until I finally felt I was ready to take him on. On my way to his castle a Chosen One breezed past me on a unicorn. I ran after him and found out he was after the same Dark Lord as I was. He'd been sent to slay the Dark Lord two weeks ago and the gods had showered him with artifacts and miracles and a legendary mount. His armor was so shiny it hurt to look at. So I followed him until he reached the Dark Lord."

“I don't think this story has a happy ending," she commented.

“Of course not,” I said with a snort. “The Dark Lord tore him apart. The Chosen One had been given a dozen shiny gifts but he had no practice with them. Everything had just been handed to him because the gods decreed him to be a Hero. They fought for quite a while and then Absalom stabbed him through the heart and he dropped, instantly dead." I gave a toneless chuckle.

“And then?" she asked.

“Then I stepped up and fought him. He was still exhausted from his fight with the Chosen One and I actually knew what I was doing, unlike the Chosen One. Or at least I thought I did. By the end, he still had me on my back, ready to kill me, but I stuck my broken sword into his gut and twisted until he dropped."

“You were able to hurt him?" Alisha asked, surprised.

“Yeah," I said. “That ability the Dark Lord today had, where only the Chosen One could pierce his skin? That's actually kind of rare. Common enough to be annoying, but certainly not universal."

“I see," she said.

I took a drink before continuing: “That's when I realized how sick this whole system is. A god creates a Dark Lord who terrorizes the lands and then eventually another god sends out one clueless idiot showered with gifts to stop that Dark Lord. They use people to fight their little proxy wars and the pawns think it makes them better than everyone else." I paused. “Sorry, didn't mean to go off on a tangent like that."

She shrugged it off. “I'm starting to see where you're coming from," she told me. “What happened next?"

“After that I dragged the Chosen One's body over to the Dark Lord's body, pulled the Dark Lord's leggings down, and pushed the two into each other so that the Chosen One's slack lips were wrapped around the Dark Lord's huge barbed cock." She blushed at that. “And after that I neatly arranged all of the Chosen One's divine artifacts in a pile and pissed all over them."

She jumped up from her chair, slamming her hands down on the table. “That's blasphemy!" she yelled, then saw that every eye in the tavern was on her and sat down again, red-faced and thoroughly embarrassed.

I didn't react to her outburst and replied calmly: “Correct. And that's also when Athena showed up for the first time to bitch at me. The goddess I'd prayed to for months had finally graced me with her presence, not to congratulate me but to scold me for my blasphemy. And so I decided to stick it to her and the other gods by doing their worthless Chosen Ones' job for them."

“So you hate the gods?"

I snorted. “They call me the Godsforsaken. Gods either try to pretend I don't exist or come to tell me how much they hate me. Ironically this means that I've met more gods than some of the most devout worshipers in the kingdom. Meeting them I found most of them to be less than stellar company. I have no problem with the Tuatha Dé Danann, though. Well, except for Bres but I probably don't have to tell you that."

She nodded. Bres was a huge bastard, no other way to put it. He was Brigid's husband, though not out of love but for political reasons, their marriage a means to prevent a war with his kin, the Fomorians, a race that was unambiguously evil. Not quite as evil as goblins, but evil enough.

“Anyway, other than him I've never had any trouble with the Tuatha. If they pick a Chosen One they usually pick a warrior and they don't bury them in gifts. The Aesir aren't that fair but still better than the Olympians. Though Brigid might still not be happy with you for working with me. I am a known quantity among the gods by now."

“She won't care so long as you don't insult her personally," the elf said. “She does respect great warriors, after all."

Just at that moment the barmaid came with our orders, basilisk shank with alraune herb butter and seasonal vegetables, and we dug in. Truth be told, I was glad to learn that Alisha had no issue with eating meat, unlike some of the stories I'd heard about elves along the way. Trust me, adventuring with someone who refused to eat meat was a pain since monster meat was the easiest way to feed yourself on an adventure.

The food was, as always, fantastic. The vegetables had just a bit of bite to them without being raw and basilisk meat tasted like a weird hybrid of beef and chicken, tender like the latter but flavorful like the former. Alraune shed leaves the way dogs shed hair so they were easy to harvest and in addition to a lot of medicinal benefits, these leaves also had a pleasant flavor, like wild garlic but with floral notes. The sound Alisha made after the first bite of the meat had me thinking up all kinds of other ways I could get her to make such sounds again.

**

“So tell me a bit more about your miracles," I asked once we were no longer digging into the food like starving wolves.

“You know how miracles work?"

“Of course, but I've never worked with a priestess of Brigid before."

“Alright," she said. “So you know I can cast Homeward. I generally like to keep one miracle unused each day so I can cast that in emergencies."

I nodded in appreciation. “Very smart."

“Thank you. The other miracles I have access to are Heal, Nourish and Enhance."

Heal was exactly what you'd expect, a powerful single-target healing spell and Enhance would strengthen the target's skills and abilities, letting them fight above their weight class for a while. Nourish, though?

“What does Nourish do?"

“If you cast Nourish on someone, it gives them all the sustenance they need for the day, except for water," she said. “If you can cast Nourish and have access to a source of water, you don't need to worry about rations."

My eyes bulged. “That is insanely powerful. You could travel without needing to take food along and getting lost wouldn't be a problem so long as you have water available."

“Sort of," she hedged. “If I were to cast Nourish on both of us every day, that would reduce me to only two miracles a day, one of which I would want to hold back for an emergency Homeward. That would leave me with a single available Heal every twenty-four hours. Not ideal. I agree it can be useful in certain situations though."

“I think you are vastly underselling yourself."

Her mouth opened to answer and then closed as she blushed.

**

“So tell me, Mister Mercenary—"

“You can call me Felix if you want to."

She grinned. “Anyway Mister Mercenary, where is this home of yours? I notice we are in a tavern."

“I have an arrangement with the innkeeper. I rent one of the rooms full time. He knows that room will never sit empty, so I have to pay less per day. I'm going to find him and rent a second room for you."

She cocked her head. “Why? I have no problem sharing your room."

I looked her square in the eyes. “There is only one bed and I'm not enough of a gentleman to roll out my sleeping bag and leave the bed to you."

She smiled. “I'm not that big, we can share the bed."

“You are awfully quick to trust, Miss Priestess," I told her and she shrugged.

“I only trust people who deserve it."

**

So as it turned out, falling asleep next to a defenseless elven beauty was harder than I had anticipated. I was lying flat on my back, staring at the ceiling while Alisha was sleeping on her side, her head resting on my bicep, her face just inches away from mine. Her breath made my hair tickle my cheek and the warmth of her body was impossible to ignore. Not only that, she'd left me with a lot to think about. I had never realized just how big of a boon having a cleric along could be. Even if I were taking her along for just Heal and Homeward, she would be worth all the extra expenses and worries and that was before I'd even seen how strong her offensive magic was. Plus, female Chosen Ones might be more willing to accept my help if I had a cute elven girl along with me to convince them I wasn't a danger to their virtue. On the other hand, her presence and scent were driving me wild. She smelled like pine and holly and honey and it was beyond distracting. Part of me wanted to roll over and kiss those beautiful lips but the rest of me wouldn't. She was so certain she could trust me, it was as if she were daring me to prove her wrong. So instead of turning to her I just pulled the blanket a bit higher. Eventually, the sound of her breathing lulled me to sleep.

**

The stars shone brightly and the two moons were almost aligned. Beneath the starry sky two figures sat facing each other, a chess board between them. The figure in black cackled and placed a piece down on the board. In front of it, a line of pawns shimmered into existence. Then the figure in black asked the figure in white:

“What will you do about this, I wonder?" The voice was masculine and slightly unhinged.

The figure in white stroked its chin and pressed its lips together. What little could be gleaned of its hand and face under the robe looked feminine. Then the figure produced a piece of her own and then replied, in a decidedly feminine voice: “You are put in check, I'm afraid."

A second later, two more pieces shimmered into existence behind the piece the figure in white had placed. The figure in black took another look at the pieces and started cackling again.

**

I woke up with my eyes still closed, the bizarre dream still lingering in my mind. The first thing I noticed was a warmth and a weight between my legs, then a bolt of pleasure as I felt a tongue lap over the underside of my cock. It took me a moment to remember that this could only be Alisha. Was she doing this because she thought I expected this of her? Or because she wanted to? Oh gods but it felt amazing. I played dead for a bit longer and felt her wrap her soft lips around the tip and suckle gently, her teeth just barely grazing the sensitive skin.

Finally I opened my eyes, half expecting her to stare at me, but she didn't. Her eyes were lidded and she was completely engrossed in what she was doing and eventually started moaning softly. She held onto my dick with one hand while the other had sneaked under her nightgown and played with her breast, rubbing and pinching a nipple. I wanted nothing more than to grab the back of her head and pull her down, to press myself deeper inside her, but I stopped myself and grasped the sheets instead. As I kept twitching inside her mouth she started bobbing her head up and down, going deeper and deeper, trying to take it all the way in.

When she had finally reached the root she opened her mouth far enough to lap at my balls with her tongue. Her moans felt like soft vibrations all along my length and I started subconsciously moving my hips to thrust into her mouth, getting closer and closer until, finally, I came inside of this beautiful elf's mouth. I expected her to jerk away but instead she kept me in her mouth, swallowing everything I had to give. Then she pulled away, but not fully. Instead she kept suckling on the tip until every last drop had come out, a look of pure bliss on her face. Only then did she look up and saw me watching her. Her face grew beet-red in an instant and she started a litany of apologies. Eventually I just pulled her to me and hugged her, shushing her.

“Please never apologize for doing that."

“Y-you're not mad?" she stammered.

“That a beauty like you was sucking my cock as if ambrosia would come out of it?"

She somehow managed the impossible and blushed even harder before burying her face in my chest. I was starting to worry she might pass out from lack of blood in her brain. And anyway, wasn't I the one with his pants down?

“I just want to know why. Please don't tell me you think I was expecting that of you or something."

She shook her head, at least as much as she could in her current situation, and mumbled into my nightshirt: “Nothing like that. It was just curiosity."

“Curiosity?"

“Well... I woke up before you and I saw the blanket tenting up. A rather large tent. I got curious, so I had a look. Then I pulled your pants off to get a better look. I'd never seen one. Not one like this anyway. And then one thing led to another and..."

“Wait, hold up. You're saying in all the time you traveled with the Chosen One..." I trailed off as she shook her head, face still squished against my chest.

“I saw him naked once when I was bathing him. He clearly wanted me but after he saw how unimpressed I was with the sight he seemed to lose interest. And that's when he started treating me the way he did." Well, suddenly her behavior towards him made a lot more sense. “Again, I'm sorry. I'll never do this again if you don't want it."

I dug around between her and me until I found her chin, then put a finger under it to make her look at me. “I liked it very much, but if you keep doing things like that to me, expect me to return the favor."

I expected her to blush again, but instead her gaze dropped to my lips and she bit hers. I could take a hint and pulled her up before kissing her. I'd never kissed an elf before. Her lips were almost obscenely soft and while I expected both morning breath and cum breath, I only noticed holly and honey. I wrapped my arms around her and held her against my chest. We just stayed like that for a while, gently exploring each other's lips.