Chapter 11: Croaking

Over the last few days I'd gotten rather used to being woken up gently, with a kiss or a soft hand stroking my cheek, so I admit to having been a little cranky when Silvia woke me up by shaking my shoulder and telling me: “Wake up Felix, the villagers are walking the streets and they are not happy.”

I thanked her and immediately got dressed in my combat outfit, the one I wore when I knew I'd be going into a fight as opposed to the one I wore when there might be a fight. A pair of loose dark trousers, a thin leather vest enchanted for durability, and a dark brown cloak to conceal my movements and whatever weapons I might be holding underneath. I picked out a slender long sword and clipped it to my belt and a spear that I tied to my back.

Selene was shaking and I walked over to her and squeezed her hand. “What's wrong?”

“I'm scared”, she said. “Everything rests on my miracle performing as we're hoping it does.”

I wrapped her up in a hug. “Everything will work out fine”, I told her. “It's a divine miracle. Even if it's not meant to work the way we're hoping, if Heimdallr sees what you're trying to do with it he'll make it work the way you need it to.”

“Are you sure?”

I wasn't, but she didn't need to know that. Some gods were more malicious about interpreting requests like this than others. Instead I nodded and held her. She exhaled long and hard and I kissed her, just once, then told her: “For luck.”

**

Thea walked out of the chapel first, followed by Selene who was wearing my lesser cloak of invisibility. A good thing too, because when Thea walked out we already saw a group of angry villagers brandishing pitchforks, spears and other, more makeshift, weapons. No torches, though, because it was far too bright outside for those. We waited ten seconds and when there were no angry cries directed at Selene I assumed she managed to get to the top of the chapel in time.

Just as I finished that thought an ear-splitting sound erupted across the entire village and through the stained-glass window of the chapel we saw villagers dropping to their knees.

Alisha and I slammed wax into our ears and then ran out. She used four nails and her air magic to hammer the sign Silvia had drawn into the chapel wall and then we ran to the villagers, slamming knobs of wax into as many ears as we could, as Thea had already been doing when we came out. The brutal sound lasted unbelievably long, longer than any mortal set of lungs could blow into a horn, and by the time it was finished every single villager had wax in their ears and Thea pointed them all at the sign. Some seemed confused, but nobody tried to kill us, which I took as a good sign.

Once we were certain we didn't have a mob on our tails the four of us stormed out the gates in the direction of the pond. I wanted to yell for the toad prince to show itself but from the slight sound of the song penetrating through the wax I was certain my voice wouldn't even be audible. So instead I tried to locate the spot where I'd seen it before and, sure enough, a dark shape was poking a few inches out of the water. I pulled the crossbow from my bag of holding and fired at it, more to see how much damage it'd do and to get its attention than to seriously injure it. The crossbow bolt, to my relief, did not bounce off its hide, which I now saw was a dark green bordering on black. It did not penetrate very far though, only an inch or so, telling me that its hide was tough but not any tougher than the leather vest I was wearing. It did manage to get the toad prince's attention, though.

It rose out of the water until it reached its full height and its surprisingly expressive face looked annoyed that we weren't being chased by a group of angry brainwashed villagers. The singing cut off, but none of us removed our ear plugs.

There was nothing that needed to be said. This thing had to die, end of story. It seemed to agree that talking would be pointless and simply shot its tongue out at Alisha.

I drew the spear from my back and in one fluid motion staked the tongue to the ground and bellowed: “Now!”

Apparently I'd been loud enough for everyone to notice because a second later a hail of sharp rocks pelted its body and a tight burst of air lances hit the same spots right afterwards, digging even deeper into its tough and weirdly yielding flesh while Selene started hacking at its tongue with her sword. The toad prince reacted by screaming. And apparently Alisha had been right about its voice having magical properties that extended beyond mind manipulation because the force of that scream hit us like a raging storm, driving Selene and me back a foot and throwing Alisha and Thea off their feet entirely. If we hadn't worn the ear plugs it would likely have ruptured our eardrums.

The toad pulled and wrenched and eventually it managed to free its tongue from my spear, though it ripped an enormous gash into its tongue so it ended up forked like a snake's. When the tongue snapped back into the toad's mouth a splatter of purple blood spoke volumes of how much damage that'd done and it told us in the voice of angry children:

“Kill you... I'll kill you all!” And it was a testament to just how loud the sound must have been that it was clearly audible even through the ear plugs.

Selene took the pause as an opportunity to carve a rune into the air, invoking the ice storm miracle. Clever girl. The ice storm raged around the toad prince while Alisha and Thea pelted it with magic. Then, out of the storm, came the toad's tongue once again, this time aiming for Selene.

She hadn't been ready for it and it smacked right into her, the two halves of the tip wrapping around her to make up for the lost suction the whole tongue would have had, and dragged her towards its fanged maw. I dashed forward and picked up my spear, then hurled it straight into its open maw, both hoping that the inside of its mouth would be softer and more vulnerable and trying to give Selene a way to save herself. And then I had to throw myself flat on the ground before a blade of blue-gray force magic nearly took my head off.

Selene had been right, it did have other magic up its sleeve and it was now going mad with pain and throwing all of it at us. Alisha and Thea switched from offense to defense, erecting barriers of wind and earth to fend off the projectiles, but one caught me in the right arm, chopping it in half length-wise and for a few seconds there was only pain in my world. Then, as suddenly as the pain had come, a veil of warmth and safety settled around me as Alisha cast her healing miracle, followed by her enhancement miracle. When I looked at her she was pointing at Selene, who was still inexorably being drawn towards the toad's maw, her arms pinned to her side and thus unable to defend herself. I felt the enhancement miracle coursing through my body, making me faster, stronger and speeding up my reaction times, and I drew my sword to free Selene.

I managed to dodge half of the force blades it threw at me by serpentining and rolling while the rest bounced off air shields Alisha cast around me as I ran. As I reached Selene and the tongue wrapped around her I threw myself into a diagonal two-handed slash starting at my lower right and going to my upper left, neatly severing the tongue and freeing Selene.

The toad prince went mad with pain and threw a tantrum, stomping up and down, at least as much as the sheet of ice wrapped around it permitted it, and dozens of force blades flew at us but Thea and Alisha were with us in an instant, erecting more barriers to block the onslaught. I looked them in the eyes and made a hand sign for them to drop their barriers on my signal. It was crude, but it got the job done and when I lowered my fist, the earth wall dropped. I sprinted forward, still enhanced from the miracle and, with Alisha blocking the force blades aimed at me, managed to reach the toad prince.

With all that momentum behind me I grabbed the spear that was still lodged in its mouth and rammed it in even deeper, eliciting a piercing scream that was painful even through the ear plugs before jumping up on top of the toad prince, barely clearing the needle-sharp crown on its head, and ramming my sword into its head. It opened its mouth to scream, to try and grab me with the stump of a tongue it had left, but it couldn't reach me where I was and Alisha and Thea pelted its open mouth with all the offensive magic they had available while I twisted the sword over and over. Then Selene rushed forward as well and buried her greatsword in its maw, right next to my spear. The beast shuddered a bit more and then, finally, it went still.

I was worried it would rise up for another round, but just then a group of small lights burst out of its body. They floated above the beast's body, circling it, and then sank into the earth. I pulled out a handful of mun and scattered them across the earth. The kids would need the fare to cross the Styx, to reach the afterlife they deserved.

**

“I can't believe we pulled this off”, Thea said once we'd all removed our ear plugs.

“No kidding”, I replied. “This thing was way too strong.”

“But we did make a pretty good team”, Alisha remarked.

“Can't argue with that”, Thea said.

Once I got my breathing under control I got up and walked over to the toad prince's corpse, pulling out a knife from my bag of holding.

“What are you doing?”, Thea asked.

“Taking souvenirs”, I replied, reaching for the crown of horns and trying to cut it off the body. “Normally I'd want to harvest the meat off of the monster but I don't feel like eating something that was fattened up on a diet of children so this will have to do.” I carved a furrow through its skin around the crown and began to dig down to the bone to see how it connected. Eventually I had to dig for a pick to break through its skull around the crown.

“So”, Alisha said to Thea while I was busy, “you sure the two of you don't want to join us?”

Thea replied: “Want to? Sure, it would probably be more interesting than staying here. But we can't. Especially not now. Once the effects of the memory wipe dissipate there will be a lot of grieving parents here that need help and as the village priestess I need to give it. Leaving now wouldn't just be irresponsible, it'd border on evil. But once we can leave here and go to the capital we'll find you again.”

“Promise?”, Alisha asked.

“Promise”, Thea replied.

I smiled and kept hacking at the toad's skull until, finally, something gave and I managed to pull the crown off its head. The individual horns that made up the crown had ridges on them like a ram's horn and were twisted together to form nine points, each of which was as sharp as the point of a knife. Yet despite that, it was still beautiful in an odd way. Once I was done with the crown I stuffed it into my bag of holding and pulled out a pair of pliers and started ripping teeth out of its maw before pulling out Selene's sword and my spear as well. I handed Selene's sword to her and she responded by catching me in a crushing hug.

“You saved my life”, she mumbled into my chest.

“Always”, I told her, stroking her hair.

And I meant it. I'd never met a Chosen One I wanted to spend time with, never mind one I was quickly realizing I didn't want to part ways with. Just then Alisha cleared her throat next to us and Selene and I opened the hug for her to join us and we stayed that way for a while.

“You...”, a voice said from a few yards away. “you killed him... you killed my prince...” It was Miss Mary and she was not looking good. Her skin was pale, with her veins prominently visible and as I looked at her bloody tears were streaming out of her eyes. She stumbled toward the toad prince's corpse, clutching her stomach, almost doubled over.

“Miss”, I began. “It was clouding your mind.”

She shook her head violently. “I loved him”, she muttered.

“It made you bring it children so it could eat them.”

“He was keeping them safe!”, she shrieked, suddenly furious, and then her stomach did something odd and bulged outward.

This was apparently not normal even for her and she doubled over once more and looked as though she was going to throw up. Athena's bush, she actually looked green in the face and trails of blood were still running down her cheeks. Thea called down a healing miracle on her but it did nothing and actually seemed to make her condition even worse. I made an attempt to get closer to her but her eyes went wide and she took a step back towards the water.

“What... is this...?”, she wondered and when she spoke blood came oozing out of her mouth as well.

“Calm down”, I said. “We want to help you.”

“No!”, she screamed. “Get away from me!”

She backed off from me more and more until her foot reached the water and she fell backward. And then it happened. Her dress had shifted until I could see her belly and, true to what Alisha had said, it looked nothing like the belly of a pregnant woman. It looked swollen to the point of bursting and was purple like a bruise. And then she let out a scream that would feature prominently in my nightmares long into the future as her belly burst open and tadpoles, too large in scale but still recognizably tadpoles, flooded out of her ruptured midsection. Guided by the current the tadpoles were swimming towards the mouth of the river and I bellowed like my life depended on it:

“Selene! Lightning miracle! NOW!”

Thank all the gods, she didn't hesitate and only a second later a massive lightning strike from the otherwise clear sky slammed into the lake, electrocuting everything in it. The tadpoles popped like so many pimples and dead fish rose up to drift on the surface. And, of course, Miss Mary's body didn't fare much better, getting cooked along with everything else. I wasn't sure whether she'd still been alive after her stomach had burst, but I really hoped she hadn't been.

**

A small group of the villagers came along a few minutes later, led by the innkeeper. I expected, at the very least, to get thrown out with prejudice. We'd reminded them of the greatest loss they'd ever experienced and we'd destroyed a large part of their livelihood by electrocuting the fish, but after we explained to them what had happened, with Thea doing most of the talking just in case, the barrel-chested innkeeper held his hand out for me to shake.

“Thank you”, he said when I shook it. “If it weren't for you and your companions, I would still be thinking I'd never had a son. I can't believe this piece of shit made me forget my little Jim.” I put my other hand on his shoulder and told him:

“I'm sorry for your loss.” Then I looked at the rest of the group and added: “That goes for all of you, the ones not here right now included. I just wish we'd come here earlier.”

He squeezed my hand a bit harder. “So do I.”

**

Once we had talked things over with the villagers to make sure there was no bad blood between us Thea took us down to her chapel's basement, where Silvia flung herself at Thea like a striking snake the second her lover's feet reached the bottom of the stairs. Once she'd checked Thea for injuries she made a point to hug each of us in turn and thank us for keeping her lover safe. At Silvia's insistence we told her everything that had happened and by the end she looked like she was about to cry.

“I'm sorry you had to go through that”, she told us when we were done.

We thanked her and just drank the tea she'd handed us.

Eventually Thea asked us: “So, what are your plans from here on out? Will you be staying here?”

I looked at Alisha and Selene, who both looked back at me, so I answered: “We're heading towards the Dark Lord's castle today.”

“Are you sure you don't want to stay the night?”, Thea asked.

“No. Even if the villagers no longer believe we were responsible for the deaths of their children we still opened a lot of emotional wounds today and it would be unfair of us to impose on their hospitality any longer. Besides, whatever plan the Dark Lord is hatching we really shouldn't give him any more time to put it into action. Unless the two of you have any objections?”, I added, looking at Alisha and Selene.

Selene shook her head, though a bit reluctantly.

Alisha said: “It's sad that we have to leave already, but I have to agree that we do.”

Thea nodded. “Very well, but remember, this isn't goodbye. Once my goddess allows me to leave here, we will meet again.”

She held out her hand and I shook it. “I'm looking forward to it.”

**

At this point I feel I should mention that a week after we were back in the capital I scoured the local libraries and dug up anything and everything I could find about toad princes. And to my shock, I learned that we'd been incredibly lucky with how things had turned out. Here's what I managed to learn:

At first I got a little confused by the terminology, as sources couldn't seem to agree on whether to call the monsters toad princes or toad kings. Most sources used the terms interchangeably but one source in particular explained that toad kings were toad princes that had become powerful after devouring the children of an entire village. Apparently after they turned from tadpoles to real toads they were the size of wolves and would grow larger with each life they consumed.

After growing into a full toad and arriving at a village they would sing a song to attract a mortal female of child-bearing age. They would enslave the woman's mind and turn her into their “princess”, making her bring them children to devour and filling her with their spawn in exchange. Once the toad prince had devoured all the children of a village, or once the toad prince died, the princess would burst into a shower of tadpoles but that was alright, the sources said, because by that point the person she'd been would have already been dead, only held together by the toad prince's enslavement spell.

If the toad prince was still alive it would have graduated to a toad king by then. As the toad king of a village devoid of children and thereby devoid of food the toad king would then go into hibernation while singing a song of fertility, making the villagers obsessed with siring new children and then, eight to ten years later, it would awaken and find itself a new princess and start the cycle all over again.

Its mind control magic was even more insidious than we'd seen for ourselves. In addition to making the villagers forget about the missing children it would outright enslave small animals like frogs, toads and rats to spy for it, able to see through their eyes, but not hear through their ears as their hearing was occupied by the song. I supposed that's what all the toads hopping around Lycia had been doing.

And, just as I'd seen when it died, the toad prince didn't just eat the bodies of the children, it also stopped their souls from passing on to the afterlife, which made Hades, Manannán mac Lir and Brynhild, queen of the Valkyries, hate them with a passion. Even the Morrigan, mercurial as she was, would kill these pests on sight.

And the tadpoles? Yeah, every single one of them could have matured into another toad prince and if they had managed to hit the river the resulting plague of toad princes would have depopulated most of the villages downstream. I hoped we'd gotten them all. Gods above and below, I hoped we hadn't missed any.