Chapter 34 – Rants over Wine
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The drinks got to her.

“I swear, that damned Elder Honed Edge is such a bastard, telling me ‘Why don’t you take this envoy position while I do some closed door cultivation, it will only be for a bit,’ It’s been 20 damn years!”

Keen Blade took another sip from her wine and continued ranting.

“Is that old frog even alive in that hole of his anymore? There’s still aura about, but maybe it’s just a mindless body left behind or something. I’ll tear down his walls if he doesn’t show himself soon!”

Aki sipped from his own wine glass “I feel you – I suspect the only reason people do closed door cultivation at all is so they can evade their duties as long as they like. Useless sods.”

“You really get it! So many of them stay shut in for years at a time doing nothing useful for the sect, then they come out and complain about how the younger generations aren’t focusing enough on cultivation. Dumbass, you’re the one taking that time away from them!”

The woman seemed to be the type to air out all issues once a few drinks were in her – it had not taken many glasses of spirit wine for her to begin ranting. It was almost as if all the grievances that had been held back for years were now rushing out all at once.

Truth be told, Aki was enjoying this ranting session quite a bit.

Keen Blade sighed and collapsed onto the table. Her brown ponytail lay in a mess on the table – right now the woman seemed like just any other tired worker. “I’m trying to do my duties well, but now I have to be both Keen Peak master and vassal envoy – I’ve barely cultivated at all in years.”

Aki patted her on the shoulder reassuringly and refilled her glass. “Honestly, it sounds like you need to take a bit of a break. Any way you can lessen the burden?”

She raised her head back up and took the glass back in hand. “It’s tough, I’m only temporary envoy so appointing a new permanent can’t be done.”

“Nothing more permanent than a temporary fix” Aki sighed – it was a lesson he had learned well in his corporate days.

“That’s a good saying, certainly rings true here. I guess I have become the new permanent envoy – as long as its convenient for everyone else.”

“Elder really love to wring people out for everything they’re worth. Just a while back I didn’t give one elder’s son the win in a competition, and the fool actually came to me to complain about it!” Aki slammed his glass on the table. “I’m the damn leader of this damned sect! Why do I have to worry about some blasted weasel-faced young master!”

“Ugh, tell me about it. It feels like all the most troublesome ones get loaded onto my peak, and the other elders keep dropping hints that their sons would make find dao companions. Can you imagine the gall?”

“Really? That’s nasty – you have my full sympathies. Nothing more awful than other people trying to meddle with such affairs.”

Aki naturally noticed no dissonance between his words and his project LOVE. He was a man very capable of considering things selectively.

Keen Blade finished off her glass, then began refilling it. “Honestly, curse young masters. Wish I never had to look at another one ever again.”

“True. You know what? Let’s drink to that.”

“Drink to that? How’s that done?”

Aki refilled his own glass, then clinked it with hers. “Like this, say it with me:”

“Curse young masters!” They both said at the same time, then drank their glasses empty.

“Aah, that hit the spot.” Aki said, as he put the empty glass back down. Summer Warden had really managed to fix up the taste on these – they were downright good drinks now.

Aki was enjoying this conversation quite a lot – it was something he had been missing for quite a while. At the sect he was at the top of the hierarchy, unable to really have an equal talk with anyone at all. This chat, it felt to Aki like some coworkers complaining about how awful their job had been recently.

It was really refreshing.

Having someone you could complain and vent about things to was a nice thing – especially over some drinks. Aki even thought he saw some hints of a smile on the Keen Blade’s face. Her sunken eyes seemed to have more energy in them, and the sharp edge had relaxed away completely.

Aki refilled his glass. “Honestly, it’s been pretty tough having to keep my cultivation disaster a secret. Luckily my disciples are very capable.”

She gave him a sympathetic nod. “I certainly don’t envy your position. I talked with your apprentice briefly on my arrival here – she seemed really proud of you. I can understand not wanting to disappoint that.”

“That girl thinks too much of me – she is plenty talented on her own. I only need to give her some pointers and she figures out the rest on her own.”

“Disciples like that are really quite something, aren’t they? They should have more confidence in themselves, us elders are hardly as infallible as they think.”

Aki had to laugh at that. “Nothing truer than that!”

It felt nice that someone knew of his true cultivation state. Truth be told, Aki almost wanted to tell someone about his full circumstances, but that would have been too risky by far. It was suffocating to always have a secret you had to live by.

Aki had gotten pretty deep into his elder Thousand Lakes persona, but it was still just that – a persona. Even if it was steadily veering in that direction, it was not the real him. Aki did not mind playing a role and pretending at something now and then but having to truly live as a different person was uncomfortable. Especially as it might be for the rest of his life.

“Hey, why so glum all of a sudden.” Keen Blade asked, shaking Aki out of his musings.

He blinked a bit, surprised that he had blanked out like that. He looked at her worried face and grinned. “Ah sorry, must be because the bottle’s empty.” He took the empty bottle off from the table, then replaced it with the other still full one. “How about we open another one.”

The woman looked at her glass for a bit, then pushed it Aki’s way. “You know what? I’m not saying no to that.”

Aki smiled and uncorked the bottle – it was going to be a long night yet.

 

 

The drinking and ranting went on and on, gradually growing less coherent as the bottle was emptied. Even Aki got caught up in the mood and drank heavily. Soon their ranting had degenerated quite far. Both were swaying heavily, barely staying up as they shouted out curses to the skies.

“Curse elder Raging Waters, bloody fool needs to calm down a bit!”

“Cheers for that – curse elder Flowing Blade, when I was in the outer sect that bitch stole my cosmetic cultivation pill!”

“Cheers for that – curse those damned demonic cultivators, making tons of trouble for me!”

“Yea, me too. That one’s universal curse the weasels trying to sneak away from their tribute payments, always make a ton of work for me!”

Aki choked on his drink for a bit but managed to recover.

“Oh-yeah, totally. Totally curse those no-good tribute evaders!”

“What are you looking all funny for?”

“Oh, nothing. Absolutely nothing.”

Aki sweated heavily under her gaze, but it was mostly just a gaze of drunken confusion – though Aki thought he saw some remnants of a sharp tax auditor somewhere in there.

Aki had almost started cursing out the damned Liquid Sword sect for stealing his hard-earned spirit stones, but luckily he was reminded just in time about who exactly he was drinking with. How often do the auditor and the suspect end up drinking together? An odd pairing we make.

Eventually, however, the drinks ran out and the evening had to end. They both sobered up quite a bit as the wine thinned, and eventually they decided to call it a night. The woman seemed to genuinely have some resistance to the drink in her as she seemed to burn away the alcohol at a lightning pace, by the end she was still swaying, but very coherent. – still swaying heavily, but mostly steady.

Aki escorted her to the door and gave her goodbyes.

“It was... good to drink with you – make sure to take some damned breaks in the future! We’ve actually worked on some places for that, got time to see them tomorrow?” Aki said, words only slightly slurred.

“If the pattern allows, certainly. Our business isn’t that urgent. Be seeing you, your apprentice arranged quarters for us.” She cradled her head. “With how my head’s feeling, might be the first time in a good while I’ve got to sleep.”

However, they were not the only ones present for this goodbye. Rather fatefully, neither was in any state to take note of a rather stealthy individual who had come by to see the pair say their goodbyes.

“Master sure is slipping lately, is he actually not noticing me? Or maybe it’s just that I’ve gotten so good – I am almost at the third realm after all.”

The observer looked at the pair curiously. She was a bit of a meddlesome one, and had been especially meddlesome in the past few days. If anything, her habits were going in a bit of a worrisome direction. An idea began to hatch inside her head.

“I wonder if this technique would work on master too – he did appoint me for this task. If he is opposed, I’m sure he can resist it.”

The observer focused her mind on a technique she had been vigilantly practicing recently. It had been a most fun technique, very useful to make all sorts of interesting situations happen.

“[Tinder] technique!”

A roaring flame sprang up in her hand.

“Whoa, that’s some really good compatibility. In the top 15 so far, I think.”

She considered the flame, then looked at the pair who were already turning away from each other.

“Master does really work too hard lately, even he could use something like this I think.”

She focused her mind, and gathered a strong grip on the thread of karma she was manipulating. She was a lot more proficient than Aki at this, and a lot more discreet too.

“[Right Swipe]!”

The flame roared out one last time, and then faded. The pair looked at each other one last time as they began to walk off, and something had changed in that look.  

I've always wanted to write a tax evader x tax auditor romance...

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