“Jesus Christ, my head… I can’t remember anything…” With my consciousness not fully back yet I mumble those words in my thoughts.
“I think I was… I think I was about to go on a date with-”

I suddenly get struck with a blinding beam of light that awakens me in an instant and stops me mid-sentence. I instinctively cover my eyes with my hand.

“What the…” I find myself lying on the ground in the middle of the sidewalk. I open my eyes as I get up clumsily. I take a quick look around. However, I quickly realize that even though my surroundings seem vaguely familiar, I’ve never actually seen the exact scenery stretching in front of my eyes.

“...Where am I?”

It seems like I’m stranded in some suburban area. Every single thing around me gives off the ‘typical, quiet Japanese city’s outskirts’ vibes. Characteristically tall walls separating the houses from the road, narrow streets and countless utility poles and traffic mirrors all around. 

The sun is ruthless as ever and those goddamn cicadas just won’t shut up. Usually, on a day like this, I’d just cover the blinds, crack a cold one open and watch some anime in the solitude of my room...

Now however, not only am I not in my peaceful room, I also don’t have a slightest idea where exactly I am, nor what I’m supposed to do. My memory’s hazy and I can’t recall how in the hell I got here. I look around searching for some landscape clues, but can’t find anything even remotely familiar.

…

Have I gotten so drunk last night that I went for a hobbit-like adventure and don’t remember a single thing about yesterday’s party? Doesn’t seem improbable. That’d also explain the terrible headache. Jesus, did I hit a curb or something?

 

The house in front of which I regained my consciousness was nearly identical to all the other ones in the vicinity. It was a medium sized, cozy-looking house built in the somewhat modern Japanese style with walls painted pale ecru. Perfect for a small, contemporary family of
3 or 4 people. After a futile search of anything that’d help me regain memories of yesterday’s shenanigans around the building, I finally decide to check the surname plate.

…

“...Are you shitting me? Sekuhara? What the hell happened here?”

The worst possible scenarios of last night drift through my head. Waking up in an unknown neighbourhood, not remembering anything and finding yourself in front of the houses of a guy called ‘Sekuhara'...? Fortunately, my butt seems fine, which is nice. Still, I can’t shake off the feeling that something bizarre happened here yesterday…

I decide to take a walk around the area to hopefully find more clues regarding my whereabouts. Before I make a turn into a perpendicular street however, I hear a high-pitched, muffled voice approaching quickly from behind the corner.

“Chikoku, Chikoku!~”

I slowly peak out of the corner of the wall to avoid being-

“Heeee?!”

“Oh shi-”

... Trampled by someone.

Something, or rather someone ran into me at full-speed. We both end up down on the ground. I open my eyes again, after closing them instinctively to prepare for the impact.

“S-sorry, my bad. I shouldn’t have… !”

As I start to apologize, even though it wasn’t really my fault, I’m blessed with a godly view. Before me, laid a beautiful girl in a sailor-style highschool uniform. She had long, pinkish-red hair that somehow didn’t look dyed at all. It was partly tied into a two-sided braid that must’ve connected at the back of her head to create a subtle ponytail. Her otherwise loose hair was decorated with seemingly needles daisy-shaped hair clip. Her cheeks were soft-looking and her eyes resembled the clear skies… Aaaand, yup, you guessed it. Her pants were now exposed like a priceless masterpiece at a museum of modern art's exhibition. My degenerate instincts kicked in and I just couldn’t avert my eyes from the pure artism that was bestowed onto them.

“E- EEEEEEEH?!” A deafening scream escapes the petit girl’s mouth and wakes me up from the trance. Oh boy, this might get nasty. “Where do you think you’re looking, pervert?!”

She accuses me of sexual harassment while hastily bringing her legs back together and covering the panties with the hem of her skirt.

“… Eh? S-sorry I, I didn’t mean to, you just run into me and we sort of-”

“Pervert! Hentai!”

My desperate attempt at clearing the misunderstanding fails miserably as I’m slapped in the cheek with a force you would never expect from a highschool girl.

“No, wait! I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-”

“AAAAAAAaaaaah!”

…

She runs away screaming at the top of her lungs without even trying to listen to me…

Wondering what the hell just happened I notice that the girl left something on the ground.

“Hm, what’s that? A… toast?” A perfectly baked toast, to be exact, covered in a generous layer of jam. Left behind on the ground. Was she really running with a toast in her mouth...? I’ve never seen this thing happen in real life up until now.

But more importantly...

“Great, now people will think I’m some sort of a rapist. I need to get out of here fast.” I get up from the ground while shaking off the dust from my clothes… Wait.

“Why am I wearing a school uniform?”

...Yesterday’s night could’ve been worse than I imagined…

That’s not the most important thing however. I just realized I did something horrible… I had indecent thoughts about another girl. A real, 3D girl, to make things worse! How will I explain that to Saki? I can’t just keep it a secret. I’d feel like a cheating failure of a man. Shit.
I hope we can sort this out somehow. I need to think about how to approach her before we meet aga-

“Hiro! There you are!”

…

It was at this moment that I knew… I fucked up. Out of nowhere, I hear Saki’s voice behind me. As I turn around however…

“Eh? You’re… Saki?”

“…? What do you mean? Of course it’s me. What’s going on?” She says as if I was speaking complete nonsense.

“You… Why do you look so... different? And why are you wearing a uniform?”

“Eh?”

Saki looks into a traffic mirror nearby in disbelief. But the girl being reflected wasn’t Saki. She was a young girl with long, blonde hair tied into a pair of gorgeous twintails. With green eyes, unnaturally big fangs and above all... 

“Wha- wha- what happened to my… breasts…?!”

...Almost non-existent boobs. We both stood completely baffled in silence for a few seconds.

“What’s going on?” She asked, dumbfounded.

“I have no idea either. I woke up in front of this house not remembering anything that happened before.” 

“Same with me… I regained consciousness just now. Then I saw you.”

“There’s something odd going on here… Wait, how did you know it was me?” 

“What do you mean?” 

“For some reason, you look completely different. I’d never recognize you like this. How come you instantly knew that it was me?”

“But… you look normal. Just a bit… younger? And in a school uniform.” Saki answers calmly as if nothing strange happened.

Okay, that’s getting weirder and weirder. Why does she look like a completely different person and I’m still my bland self? 

I take one more look at Saki. She looks as if she was cosplaying the most cliche Tsundere Childhood Friend character ever to exist. And man, does she nail it. The twintails, the cute fang… And honestly, even the small breasts are a nice change of pace, compared to her usual D cup. Damn, I’m giving in to my anime fantasies. Get yourself together, you filthy weeb!

“Wh- what? Is there something wrong?”

“...” I gulp down my saliva as I witness the embarrassed Childhood Friend version of Saki, unable to form a coherent sentence.

“No, no. It’s just… how do I say it?”

Come on, you damn virgin!

“You look… really cute like this, you know?”

“…!” It’s super effective.

“D-Don’t just suddenly say things like that! But… Thank you. I’m glad you find it pretty!” And that's super effective on me, as well. Damn you, and your pureness, Saki Mikazuki!

“…”

“…”

“A-anyway!” I take the initiative and put a stop to this awkward silence.

“Y-Yes?!” Saki snaps back to reality abruptly.

“Do you recognize this place? Personally I have no idea where we are.”

“No, I don’t think I’ve ever been here…”

“That’s what I thought… Well, it seems that either someone played a REALLY good joke on us, or we’ve smoked something that we shouldn’t.”

“...”

Saki and I both went silent again. What should one even do in this kind of situation? 

“Oh, by the way, Who was that girl in pink hair that was running and screaming just now? Do you know her?”

…

 Just as I myself began to forget about my sins I was brutally reminded of them.

“Ah, no, she just bumped into me and we both fell on the ground…”

“Did she get scared of something? It sounded like she was really frightened.” Think, Hiro, think! There must be a way around it. At least for now…

“I- I don’t know. Maybe she thought I’d mug her or something.” Nice one, me. Thanks, me.

“Hm... I thought we could ask her about this place, but if you don’t know her, there’s nothing that we can do…”

“So, what do you think we should do then?”

Just as I say those words, a large group of highschoolers walks past us. They’re wearing the same school uniforms as me and Saki.”

“What do you think, should we follow them?” I ask.

“But we’re not high school students, are we?”

A vague idea blooms in my mind. Although highly unlikely, to say the least, it would explain all the strange things that happened to us just now.

“Have we seriously been...?”

“Hm? What do you mean?”

“No, nevermind. I need you to trust me on this one. Let’s follow them to the school. I have a feeling we’ll find some answers there.

“Hey, Hiro, wait!” I grab Saki by the hand and start following the group, hoping they’d lead us to the school. My theory seems stupid even to me, but I don’t think there’s a better explanation to our current situation. I must listen to my filthy, weeb instinct. It’s our only hope… 

…

After few minutes of following the crowd, we reach the generic-looking school building. And as soon as we enter, the first obstacle arises.

“… What do we do now?”

“I don’t know. I guess we search for our names?”

“Do you think we’ll actually find them?”

“Well, considering you literally morphed into a different person, I wouldn’t be surprised. Might as well give it a shot.”

Me and Saki stand unsure in the school entranceway. The reason being, we have to change our shoes to slippers before entering. Thank god, we’re still in Japan at least. That’s something. In front of us there were rows of getabako shoe cupboards with students’ names written underneath each shelf. And since there’s been nothing but bizarre stuff happening today, I wouldn’t be surprised if we not only found our names, but also perfectly fitting slippers assigned to them.

“Oh! I found mine!" Saki shouts to me from the other side of one of the getabako.

“I’m still looking… Didn’t you see any ‘Chikakane’ labeled ones?”

“No, sorry…”

That’s odd. How come Saki found hers nearly instantly and I’m going through the fourth row and still nothing?

“Damn, they gotta be somewhere…” I mumble to myself as I crouch down to check the bottom rows.

“… Hiro?” I hear Saki’s confused voice calling me once again. She sounds as if another unusual thing happened. What is it this time…?

“I found ‘Hiro’, but the surname is…”

“Hm, what do you mean? What the hell?!”

Before my eyes I see three Chinese characters that until this morning I’d never thought would be used in an actual surname. 世九原. Which would be read as…

“Sekuhara…? Hiro Sekuhara?”

“Whom have I betrayed to receive such punishment…”

“M-maybe they’re not yours! I mean, Hiro is a popular name, plus we still haven’t checked all of th-”

“They fit.“

“Eh…?”

“They fit. Perfectly. It feels like I’ve been wearing those since the day I was born.”

The somber reality embraces our tired with this crap minds. Guess as of today, I am officially known as...  Hiro Sekuhara… Your friendly neighbour that would never ever hurt your daughter, Hiro Sekuhara… End me.

 

After Saki manages to pick up the shattered pieces of my sanity from the floor, we head deeper into the school building while trying not to attract too much attention. Since for some reason, we look like proper high school students, it shouldn’t be a major problem. Still, I feel uneasy. Not everyday does a hikikomori of my degree wander through such crowded closed spaces. My undiagnosed social anxiety starts to kick in as I feel cold sweat flowing down my forehead.

“Hiro, is everything okay?” She probably noticed the change in my breathing.

“Ah, yeah, it’s just. Y-you know, I don’t really like…”

“Hm?”

“I-I don’t really like such crowds. I feel a bit… uneasy.” ‘Totally frightened’ would be a better term, but let’s not worry Saki too much. Especially now.

“Hiro.”

"Yeah? …!" I panic-answer even though her voice was as calm as it could get. When I looked at Saki, I saw a pair of beautiful, green eyes gazing at me with compassion. It surely is a weird feeling looking at your girlfriend who looks nothing like your girlfriend though. Almost as if I was doing something I shouldn’t.

“I’m here with you, so… don’t worry!”

“...”

Even something so simple and vague is enough for me to gather my resolve. How does she do it? I answered with a determined smile.

We kept walking through the corridors, passing by different classes and club rooms, bumping into a few people lightly on our way. Even though I graduated high school fairly recently it’s still a strange feeling. Like the one you get, when walking past the security guards at the supermarket when you didn’t buy anything and you’re scared they’re gonna accuse you of stealing something. Thankfully, Saki’s grip on my hand soothes me down enough, so that I can continue walking without giving in to the social stress. Judging by the crowd and everyone's haste, it was probably minutes before the first lesson period would start. 

“We’re here.” I finally manage to find the place where we may find some answers.

“What do you mean? That’s just a classroom.”

She’s correct. Right now, we’re standing in front of the classroom labeled ‘2-1’. However, this one is different from the ones we’ve walked by so far.

“A classroom with 3 still empty seats at the back. Come on.”

“W-wait! We can’t just go in like it’s our class!”

“...” Without answering Saki’s concerns I open the classroom door wide and after a brief mental preparation I walk in confidently.

“Oh, Sekuhara, what’s up?”

“Good morning, Mikazuki-san!”

“H-hello! Sekuhara-kun!”

As soon as we enter, we’re greeted by the students. They all know our… names and act as we would know each other for years. Still,
I couldn’t recognize any of them.

“Hiro, what’s going on?” Saki whispers nervously into my ear. We’re not holding hands anymore which I assume made her even more nervous than me in the end.

“It’s alright, pretend we’re all friends. It’s all according to the keikaku.” (Note: 'Keikaku' means 'plan')

“If you say so…”

After awkwardly saying ‘hi’ to the members of the class 2-1, we head for the empty seats located at the back of the class, by the window. For now, everything’s as I predicted. Please let me be wrong about what’s to come.

I proceed to take the last-row seat and guide Saki to the one directly in front of me.

“Why don’t you want me to sit next to you?”

“Okay, listen. I have a theory as to what happened to us. But I’m not quite certain yet, so please, give me some more tim-”

I’m stopped mid-sentence by the sound of the school bell and doors opening. When I looked in the direction of the entrance I saw a tall, dignified woman in her early thirties wearing a brown jacket, short skirt and skin coloured pantyhose. Her hair seemed light brown in the dark, but it changed to almost unnaturally saturated orange when the sunlight hit it directly.

“Good morning everyone! I hope you had great summer holidays~” Aaaaand yup, she’s got huge tits. I catch a glimpse of Saki’s envious eyes.

“Good morning, Toyokawa-sensei!” All class as one, answer enthusiastically.

“You guys, I told you not to call me that! It’s Hi-de-ko-sensei~” Jesus Christ, I nearly choked on my own saliva because of the cringe. Yet the whole class seems thrilled. So this is our Hot Milf Sensei™ , huh?

Now, let’s pray that I’m actually wrong about what’s going to happen next…

“Oh, and before we start our homeroom, I have an announcement to make!”

 

No.

 

“A new transfer student will be joining our class starting today!”

 

Please no.

 

“Meet your new classmate, Mai Gotou!”

 

Oh god, please no.

 

“Hello everyone! My name is Mai Gotou. Nice to meet you!”

 

God fucking damnit.

 

I refuse to accept the reality happening in front of my eyes. The new transfer student, Mai Gotou, is in fact the very same girl that bumped into me, called me a pervert and slapped the soul out of my once again adolescent body, literally minutes beforehand. A mix of anger and confidence embraces my body. I feel like I’ve won, but at the cost of my dignity as a sane human being. I predicted something I wish
I wouldn’t have predicted. And yet, I feel power. A power that’s always been inside. A power that becomes unsealed only if one senses that it’s their time. That they found themselves where they truly belong. A power that lets them transcend the mere hikikomori incapable of real social interactions that they are, and that enables them to become the monster they’ve dreamed of once becoming. My eyes sparkle. My tongue feels loose. My mind is ready. The Chad Energy surges within my reborn body.

“Wait, isn’t she the girl we saw in the morning?” Saki seems to have recognized her.

“Damn right, she is.”

“Eh? Everything’s alright?”

“Oh yes.“ A mischievous smile appears on my face without me noticing.

“Welcome to Nagayama High-School, Gotou-san! Why don’t you sit over there, next to Sekuhara-kun?”

“Thank you very much, Hideko-sensei! Gotou-san answers unnaturally enthusiastically.

Normally I’d be at least concerned about sitting next to a person that beat me up the very same day, but now… I know exactly what to do.

“Saki, stay calm. I know what I’m doing.”

“…?”

“So it really is you… After all these years, we finally meet again!” Gotou-san was heading towards her newly assigned seat and stopped right before her destination, by my desk. 

“What? So you know her after all?” Saki whispers again, this time clearly displeased.

“Fate truly is amazing isn’t it?” I turn to Gotou-san in an exaggerated manner.

“I hope you haven’t forgotten about the promise we made 8 years ago?”

“How could I have forgotten the very meaning of my humble existence?”

“I’ll be waiting for you at the rooftop during the lunch break. We’ll be all alone.” Gotou-san said while gracefully flitting past me and Saki with her long pink hair and navy-blue skirt waving delicately behind her and took her seat beside me.

The whole class became loud. Excited girls were dying out of diabetes, while the guys were either crying in envy or shouting slurs in my direction.

“...” Saki on the other hand, didn’t even mutter a word.

“Saki.” My tone goes back to the usual from the act before.

“… Yes?”

“I got this. I know what I’m doing. For now, we have to stay here and play students.”

“...So, you’re going to the rooftop with her?” Even though you could tell that she’s doing her best to hide it, a hint of annoyance was still perceivable in her voice.

“I am. It might be the key to figuring out what’s going on here.”

“If you say so… But… No, nevermind.” Before I got a chance to confirm what she meant, the homeroom had officially started.

 

I turn my sight to the window by which I sat and, to no surprise, see the school pitch and of course, the obligatory cloudy sky. As my thoughts drift away, a light breeze of fresh air brushes my cheeks and the chapter ends without any cool cliffhangers or proper conclusions.