The more I wrote, the more I became an attention seeker.
Sadly, there was no such support, no like, no comment, no discussing, No sillent reader would care about this, No one appreciate it.
I did feel that Writting was no more than wasting my time.
When I was in that state, I always wondered.
Should I keep writting?
I had done that for sure in the past
Nah, I did more than stopped writting,
I deletted all my stories' instead.
The stories' that had had about 100k words.
A story' that easily become top Ten in the web novel category
Degeneration was the last word which pushed me to end that hobby.
Yeah, I had been degenerated and traumated cuz of bunch crazy, h*rny, and tragedy that would happen in back scene of my own stories.
To the point that I would dreaming about them in my sleep...
So that, I had given up on this and stopped everything.
Only to regret it not far in the future as I found other people claiming my original deleted stories'...
And so, I began to write Another story'.
Sadly, I was not as motivated as before.
The scene of my previews story' was clearly rembered by my brain...
But I did want something different...
Something new and save to be written.
For my own healthy-in-mind
I become an attention seeker...
Hey online stranger! Notice me!
" ... "
Only sillence I got no matter how much announcement I wrote.
And so I gave up and asked people around.
Just why did you keep writting?
' cuz it's fun '
' One reader is enough reason for me '
' It can increase my writting skill and sharpness '
' I was bored, so I write '
' writting is better than lose streak '
' to release the scene in my head '
' for work, for future '
' I'm proud of my stories'
' to stave off my emptiness '
' for reality distraction '
' tying to make the word better '
' it makes me happy '
' I am dreamed...so... '
' it's a way to get a way from the world '
' it's... just a place to be free... '
' Cuz I didn't like unfinished story' '
' I love reading, so that I write '
' the story' not gonna write it self! '
' cuz I can... '
' ... To defy my self, un adulterated self-satisfaction '
' the IRL is too..... '
' I am not good in conversation... '
' either this or dru- '
' so that I wouldn't go insane bcuz of a tragedy personally experienced '
' a hobby of mine '
' So, I can share mine '
And so on....
This Made me thinking back of the first reason I wrote.
For keeping my English skill.
More over, it's alot better than gaming and watching at p*rn.
Moreover... It's a kind of productive.
Sadly, it didn't erase the fact that I was currently wasting my time.