Ch. 2 – Lawnmower Guy
7 0 0
X
Reading Options
Font Size
A- 15px A+
Width
Reset
X
Table of Contents
Loading... please wait.

Curled up in a ball in the dark & in the middle of a giant hedge maze laid Felicity who, even though not in a soft warm bed, began to quickly fall asleep due to pure exhaustion. Drip. Drip. Drip. Drip. Felicity awoke with droplets of water falling on her from the grey sky. Finally, some light. But it was foggy -- very foggy. And the rain drops continued to fall. Somehow though, it felt calm. Hearing the rain fall &, though not as many as yesterday, the birds were chirping. Felicity knew it was morning & she had surprisingly slept all through the night.

Up she got & walking she began. The first turn she came across, left. The second turn, left. After a bit, the third turn, left.

"If I just continue to turn left," Felicity thought, "I'll surely-"

Dead end.

"Shoot," whispered Felicity.

Turning back she went &, this time right, right was the direction she took. Felicity noticed as she walked that the fog had began to clear & the rain had stopped.  A beautiful blue sky with a rainbow was gleaming from above.

Eeeeeeemmmmmmmmmmm.

"Is that a lawn mower?!"

Felicity, bewildered, yelled, "HELLO?! Someone?! ANYONE?! Who's there?!"

No answer.

"What on earth is happening here? Where am I?"

Just then Felicity realized that the ground she had been walking on had, what looked to be, fresh cut grass. The grass & hedges both looked to be very well looked after & were both bright green & beautiful.

"Surely, whoever is mowing will see me or hear me or- wait a minute," Felicity thought, "maybe I am getting close to the cottage!"

So off she ran. Left, then right. Then right again. Then left. Felicity was running towards the sound of the mowing.

"THERE!" Felicity yelled.

"I'm saved!"

There in front of her was a tall, lanky man with a red & white tank top & a chubby belly that looked like a bowling ball attached to his abdomen, bright blonde shaggy hair, short shorts with very hairy legs & he was listening to headphones while he wiggled & nodded his head to the beat & even side-stepped here & there as he was pushing the bright yellow lawn mower through the hedge maze.

"How strange," Felicity thought.

He looked to be having the time of his life!

Irritated by this as she was having a very rough time & felt helpless, Felicity yelled, "Excuse me, sir!"

But the lawn mower was so loud & this goofy guy was having far too much fun listening to his music that her yell fell on deaf ears.

Eventually though, the man stopped the mower & appeared to be walking around it to pick up a stone that was in the way. He picked up a few stones & tossed them up & above the right side of the hedges & before turning around to continue mowing he quickly dropped into a move where his right leg was straight & his left leg was bent under him. He then began to play an air guitar & was head banging all the while!

"Alright, I have had enough of this," said Felicity.

She walked up behind the dancing man & as he stood up & spun around to continue mowing he screeched in horror, sounding like a young girl who just saw a ghost!

"AAAAAAHHHHHHH!"

Placing one hand on his chest & the other above his eyebrows to block the bright sun from his sight, he said, "Oh my! You scared me!"

"Apparently," Felicity thought.

"Hello, I'm sorry to have startled you, but I have been stuck in this maze all night. Can you please tell me how to get out of here?"

"Of course, Miss. Turn back & make a right at the last turn. You will then make a left, right, left, left, right. Double left, then right again. There you will reach the exit of the hedge maze. Happy trails!"

And with that he turned back around & continued mowing & side stepping in between his wiggles & bottom shaking.

"Good grief," sighed Felicity, "will I ever get out of here?"

So back Felicity trailed, right, left, right, left, left, right, double left, then right again.

"At last!!!" Felicity shrieked as she began to see the cottage in the distance.

"I made it!" She yelled triumphantly.

Felicity fell to the ground after passing the exit of the giant hedge maze out of pure joy & began to cry. Laying on her back looking up at the blue sky, she weaped. She weaped and weaped until she finally just fell sleep.

Waking up to I Want You Back by the Jackson 5 playing in the background & the blonde haired "lawn mower guy" dancing relentlessly in what looked to be a kitchen made entirely of wood. The man was singing & using a wooden spatula as his microphone. Singing, he would bend his legs & shut his eyes to belt out the words. The man had on a white tank top with blue and white striped shorts and no shoes on. His once blond shaggy hair looking shiny & combed sitting nicely on top of his head. Felicity looked around to realize that she was obviously not outside on the grass anymore. She was laying on a water bed. Yes, that's right. She was laying on one of those beds that have water on the inside. The inside of wherever she was seemed to be all one big room with the kitchen, bedroom, bathroom, library, sitting area & "magic space" all connected as one. The reason "magic space" is worded in that way is because there was literally a wooded sign that read "magic space" on the left side of the big room. The "magic space" included a table in the middle with nothing on it, but with glass bottles and books on shelves & stands around it. The ceiling was very high up & included three wooden ceiling fans. The high walls had many shelves with more glass bottles & books on top. It was a clean cottage, but was somewhat cluttered.

Felicity sat up as best she could on the wobbly water bed & scooted to the side to stand up.

"You're awake at last!" yelled an excited male voice.

"Lawnmower guy, right?" Felicity said.

"I suppose you could call me lawnmower guy. Or Carl. My name's Melvin, but I've always liked the name Carl."

"Interesting..." Felicity replied.

"Listen, Carl, or Melvin, how long was I out? And where are we? I'm supposed to be looking for the cottage at the end of the giant hedge maze."

"I've decided. I don't like Carl anymore. I like Kyle. Call me Kyle. Yeah, Kyle is cool," said Lawnmower guy.

"Okay, Kyle, please tell me where we are & how long was I sleeping for?," pleaded Felicity.

"Nope, it didn't sound as cool as I thought it would. I think I like Carl again. Let's go with Carl."

Felicity shouted, "Okay, then CARL! Please try to focus, please tell me where we are!"

"Well your at the cottage off of Giant Hedge Maze & Blue Berry Springs, of course! You know, I'm really sorry about before, I thought I liked Carl & then I got self-conscious & wrecklessly chose Kyle. Then I realized that Carl was what I actually liked all along, but now I'm wondering why I tried to change my name at all when I have had a perfectly good-sounding name all along! I'm Melvin, the local Wizard & who you are here to see. Did you like the handwriting on the note I sent you?! I LOVE writing in curls!!!"

"That was you who sent the note?! Wait, you are the wizard? This is the cottage?! And if you ARE the wizard & you sent me the note & this is your cottage, then why didn't didn't say something when I saw you back in the hedge maze?"

Melvin looked up as if he was processing all the questions being thrown at him all at once, "why, yes, yes & yes! I didn't say anything back in the hedge maze because you didn't ask (& I was in the middle of a jam sesh). Also, you slept all day yesterday & all night last night. Good morning!"

"I see, well it would have been nice to know that you were the one who sent for me when I was lost & asking for help out of the maze when I first spoke to you thinking you were a simple garden worker! But I suppose you DID give me proper directions out of there & you DID provide a bed for me to sleep while I was out, so I can't be angry. Apart from that, good morning. I want to thank you, Melvin, for sending me the beautifully written note. I have been not very happy for a long time now. I couldn't be happier to leave where I was. The captain mentioned that my destiny was at this cottage. What did he mean by that?"

Smiling with such a genuine and sweet smile, Melvin responded, "oh, you mean Rustle?"

Felicity looked puzzled, "well, now that I think about it, I didn't think to ask his name. How inconsiderate of me. Yes, if you are referring to the captain of the boat as the man you call Rustle, then yes, it must have been Rustle."

Melvin turned to look in a small, brown leather book, "was he bald with a stash?"

Felicity responded, "I'm sorry, bald with a what?"

"A stash," Melvin repeated.

"I'm sorry, but I don't know what that is. What's a stash?" asked Felicity.

"You know," explained Melvin, "a muhssy, middledash, lip beard, storage of last week's meatloaf, nose hair extension-"

Felicity interrupted, knowing if she didn't, she would be there all day listening to silly nicknames, "you mean a mustache?"

"Yes, a mustache. Was he bald with a mustache?" Melvin replied.

"Actually," Felicity recounted, "I believe he was bald with a beard."

"Ohhhhh, you mean Larry. Larry is bald with a beard. Heck of a sailer too," said Melvin.

"Well," Felicity said, putting her hands on her hips & sighing, "I'm here. What now?"

"Now," Melvin explained, "you get to take your place as princess."

Felicity, responding with shock, "as what?!"

0