Chapter 22
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'Maybe he was just so scared,' Wendy thought as they paced around the room. 'But then again, who just gets up and leaves after a car crash? But most importantly, why isn't he answering my phone calls? I probably sent a hundred messages to him. I hope nothing happened to him.'

As Wendy continued to worry about their best friend, the knob on the front door started to rattle. They headed straight towards the door and opened it to the surprise of Johan. "Johan, where have you been? I've been worried sick."

"Hello, Wendy," Johan respond.

"Is that all you have to say? Why aren't you answering my calls and text messages?"

"Oh, that's right, you did send me messages earlier. I guess I just forgot about them."

"Johan are you okay?" Wendy inspected Johan, who seemed to be stoic in both appearance and mannerism.

"Yes, I'm fine,” Johan said neutrally, his apathetic attitude perturbing Wendy further.

"Are you sure? I mean, what happened to you after the accident?"

"Oh, yes. The car crash. I'm sorry Wendy, and to your friends. I can't believe I almost got us killed." Johan suddenly gave an uncharacteristic smile. "But this is a miracle, isn't it? We're still alive after that.” Without warning, he gave Wendy a great hug as he held them tightly, completely startling them. Shortly he pulled himself from them but held on to their shoulders, "I thought it was the end of the world, but miracles can happen! Life can be full of such unfair tortures. In such cases, even the smallest amount of hope can make the biggest difference." He lets go of the now fully disturbed Wendy and proceeded to his room.

Watching the door close behind him, all Wendy could comment was, "He must have bumped his head or something."

In his room, Johan removed his vest and headed toward the window to watch the twinkling lights from the buildings afar against the clouds illuminated by the moonlight. He pulled out his phone and glimpsed at the message he sent earlier, now with a small notification appended at the end, 'Seen by Lucy an hour ago'.

"Was she always checking the chat? I would've sworn she would never log in ever again, and yet during my greatest moment of duress, she appeared in that instant. Out of any moment in time, she made her appearance when I needed it the most." As he stared out the window toward the distance of space, the euphoric feeling he was having as he returned home now subsiding, he locked his phone and placed it on his desk. "Do I feel better now that Lucy saw my last message? And how does she feel? She ran away scared when we met and we haven't communicated since. Does this really mean something? What does it actually mean to have her log in out of the blue? Is it even positive?"

He sighed and laid on his bed to rest. "Despite what has transpired, my problems persist. I still feel lonely. Maybe I should move somewhere remote. Maybe not go full hermit but, perhaps a small populated area? Like somewhere out in the country? But is that what I really want? What am I really trying to run away from? Now that this is all over, what comes next? Whatever the case, it's clear that it's time for me to move on, both physically and mentally."

A short jingle suddenly emits from his phone, surprising him enough to turn his head. "Wendy? No, he's home right now. He would have knocked on my door." Completely skeptical, he got up and took a peek at the notification only to turn his head toward the window to see the look of consternation on his face. Tapping on Lucy's name, Gmail opened but opening the message was not necessary as he slammed the phone on his desk after reading the subject line.

Can we meet again?

That joyous feeling, that invigorated sense of power to overcome all obstacles, that desire to finally live the life he deserved, was replaced with one of uncertainty. It was a feeling that did not make him feel sick, but it didn't elevate his well-being. It was an amalgamation of neutrality and confusion, one of chaotic fervor that he was in full control of. But it was only temporary as the temperament he had control over was now the one controlling him. He charges out of his room to a startled Wendy.

"What is this?" Johan asked as he walked circles around his apartment. "I thought we made amends! Or perhaps she truly despises me! Or maybe, just maybe, she's trying to get me in trouble! What is happening?"

Wendy approached him with caution. "Hey, what's going on?"

Johan suddenly grabbed Wendy who was completely stunned at the display of alarm all over Johan's face. He continued, "What is the meaning of this? Why would she contact me again? I accepted my fate! I accepted everything and was going to move on! Why this? Why now? I swore she was never going to talk to me again! What is going on? Nothing makes any sense anymore!"

He let go of the scared Wendy and headed out the front door. All Wendy could say was, "He's gone crazy!"

Exiting the building and after going a few feet away from the building, he stops himself to take a deep breath. After exhaling, "Wait, what am I doing? Why am I outside? I overreacted, didn't I? But still, what is happening? Just when I think I have everything figured out, life throws me a curve ball. I mean... Lucy... why..."

A red sports car parking a few feet away was noticed. It was too late to turn around as Margaret saw him as she exited her vehicle. 'No, not now...'

"Johan. Are you okay?” Margaret asked as she ran towards him. “Thank goodness you're still alive. Wendy told me everything."

"Yes, I'm fine, Margaret. I'm sorry but I have not time for whatever it is you are after."

"What do you mean? I'm here for you guys. Tell me all the details. Was the other driver drunk or something?"

"I don't know. I just don't know. It just happened. Please, leave me alone."

"Oh my gosh." Margaret took Johan's hand and placed her other hand on top of his. "You must be in shock."

"Yeah, I'm in shock alright."

"Can I do anything to make you feel better?"

"You can let go of my hand. I don't need pity right now. I don't need anyone." She does as asked and he proceeded to turn around and take his leave. But only after a few steps did he stop and turned back. "Wait, why are you here anyway?"

"I came to check on you guys... or people. Uh... Wendy, I still don't-."

"Forget about Wendy for a moment. Let me... well..." Looking at Margaret with her eyes full of concern and realizing the purpose of her visit, he took a deep breath. "Actually, do you have time to talk?"

With her agreement, they both started walking down the block. “Are you really okay?” She asked.

Yes, Margaret. I'm fine. I know it's weird to see me so calm, but I have other pressing matters of my own. Let's put aside that accident for now.”

"I guess I'll trust you on that. So what do you want to talk about?"

"How can I say this? I have a friend who... well... he likes this girl... kind of.... maybe." He groans from frustration. "Let's just say that he knows a girl and they've been good friends. However, something happened and they could no longer talk. Recently, he just got a message from her that she wanted to meet him again. What do you think?"

"What exactly happened between the two to have them split up as friends?"

Johan scratched his head. "She... well... she met him one time and she got scared."

"Scared by what?"

"About that... She got scared that he wasn't who she thought it was."

"That sounds weird. Who was she expecting anyway?"

"Well... for one thing... let's just say... someone a bit... younger."

"Younger?" Margaret pondered a bit about this before answering, "that just sounds weird to me."

"So you have nothing to tell me?"

"My intuition is telling me that he's either an ugly nasty guy who was pretending to be someone else and she finally saw through his facade, or she's a spoiled gold-digger who realized he wasn't as rich as he made himself out to be. Either way, it's his fault this happened."

"But why would she call him back?"

"Beats me. Must be some desperate girl, but you're not telling me all the details so I don't know what else to tell you."

"Fine. In that case, let me put the situation another way. Let's say he's not a nasty guy pretending to be someone else. Let's say she's not a gold-digger looking for a rich man. Let's assume both are just normal people like you and me. Considering that, what if... he has some affection for her... and wants to see her again. What if he felt destroyed inside when he learned he could not see her anymore and felt relief when she logged onto Google Chat. But when she sent him a message about wanting to meet up again, he suddenly felt scared about doing so. She wants to meet him, but he's afraid of doing so. But deep inside, despite whatever doubt he's having... he also wants to meet her."

"In that case, I say they should just meet up and work things out."

"But the thing is, they're not allowed to see each other."

"Who said they can't see each other?"

"Society."

"Oh. Well, screw society."

"I beg your pardon?"

"I see no reason why they can't be together. Why would society not approve of them being together anyway? Whatever the reason, it doesn't matter. Society always made stupid rules about who you can and cannot date, and I'm sick of it."

"Margaret, I know I have been pretty vague about this but just think about that for a minute."

"I understand enough. If these two people are in love, nothing should hold them back."

"Margaret, I really think you should think about it further."

"Further than what? Further than the love between two people which should never be judged, no matter how much society hates it? Society is corrupt anyway. Remember, society once said that you couldn't date anyone if they were the same gender. They said disgusting things about them, now it is those who say such things who are the disgusting ones."

"Margaret, you are confusing one thing with another."

"What's there to be confused about? Love is love, after all."

"For one thing, the girl is younger than the guy."

"And?"

"The girl hasn't even graduated high school yet."

Margaret instantly stops as she places her hand on his chest. "Want to repeat yourself again?"

"This girl is still a minor and he's much older than she is."

With a sour expression on her face, "Ew, no! That's disgusting!"

"Before you assume things further, let me tell you about-"

"No, don't tell me about anything. This is nasty. I mean, how old is this guy?"

"Around our age."

"That's so inappropriate. What's a guy that age doing with a girl that young? I mean, high school may not be that far away from college, but still, she's under 18."

"But what about what you said earlier?"

"What about it? I was talking about two consenting adults, not disgusting perverted men taking advantage of little kids. I don't care if this guy is your friend, he's a disgusting monster who's probably on welfare. You should stop being his friend immediately and report him to the police."

"This person has not done anything wrong."

"The fact that he likes a child is more than enough."

"Don't you think you're being a bit too judgmental on him? You don't even know him."

"I've heard all I need to know about him. You should really consider getting away from him before you're dragged into whatever sick fantasies he's having. Those people should be rounded up and shot."

Johan stared at Margaret with her conviction written all over her face. "Looks like I was right. You really don't know him," and walked away.

Returning back to his apartment, Wendy greets him on the doorstep with concern. "Johan, is something the matter? Did you bump your head or something?" Johan just stood there being silent. "Johan, why won't you talk to me? Whatever is going on, maybe I can help."

"Is it just me, or does talking create more problems than it solves?" Johan responded.

"No, it makes people feel better."

"Then why is it when I try to talk, nothing good ever comes from it?"

Johan stepped inside his home while Wendy continued to plead, "Is there something on your mind? Please, Johan, just talk to me, your best friend."

Johan stopped. "Best... friend?"

"Remember? We were the best of friends in high school. We still are... right?"

A scornful look was on Johan's face but he dared not turn around to show Wendy. "Last time I recall, my best friend was called Edwin, not Wendy." No sooner than he said that, his scornful look was now replaced with one of regret. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. It's just that..." He groaned as he ran his hand through his hair and headed to his room.

Upon locking the door behind him, he kicked his desk chair, only for a few moments to pass before he picked it up and placed it where it originally was.

"Everything is a lie. Everything I was told was nothing but falsities. I can't talk to anyone anymore. Everything is controversial now. Nobody has an open mind anymore. Or did we even have an open mind, to begin with? Have we always been so ignorant?" He took a deep breath. "There's no point in being nostalgic about high school. Everyone was stupid back then, including my old friends, and my so-called new friends even more so. Only in hindsight do I realize all this." He took his seat on the chair only to slump. "I'm so lonely now. Why do I even bother anymore? Trying to make friends? It's impossible. These idiots think they are progressing but all I'm seeing is their brains regressing to compost. When was the last time I could speak my mind?"

As he sat there pondering, he saw his phone on the desk by the edge. He picked it up and saw the notification with the invitation he so dreaded. Pondering for a bit as the thought of deleting the message was on his mind, "We had so many good times chatting. I can't recall the last time I was having this much joy. The last time I can recall was... before the end of high school. Back when I had dreams and aspirations. Back when we weren't concerned about politics and identities. Back when I didn't have to feel bad about not being open about myself. Back when we all knew about shame but were proud of who we were in secret. Back when things were... normal."

The sound of the front door opening interrupted his thoughts. The mumbling of a concerned Wendy was mixed with the equally anxious Margaret. He sat there, listening to the two people in the other room, their words muffled by the bedroom door. Johan had his assumptions of what they were talking about but he paid them no mind as he typed on his phone.

When do you want to meet up?

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