The last time Khazmiel had caught Meassael’s scent was centuries ago. He had been unable to track her since then, but he knew that if he waited long enough, she would have to show herself. And so, he at last had something to follow.
He entered Wisteria Way, his presence unwelcome by the residents there. Of course, he was too far up his ass to realise and recognise this. The tracks lead him through a portal into the Fae Realm itself, the warm dusk colors of Wisteria Way shifting to the moonlit night. He moved forward with determination, assured that he would at last complete his mission. But the track and scent ended. It ended at a sight he had heard of, but had not previously encountered. He knew of the resident within.
“Denis! I know she had come here! Open your door and do your duty as an Agent of the Triad! Tell me where the War Whore went!” He yelled out, earning a deep sigh from the house on chicken legs’ resident.
“Don’t know who you’re talking about Khaz, nobody with that name lives here, and if you want to hire a sex worker just go online.” Katka shook her head, mumbling to herself, quietly enough so Khazmiel would never heard it. “Plus you just have to ask Kyblík to show you the door in a slavic language. How hard is it to learn ‘turn your door to me and your back to the woods’ in Czech?... Oh wait, dveře has ř in it. Nevermind.”
“Denis, I know you are in there, open the door and tell me where she went.”
“Again, featherbrain, nobody with that name lives here! The only resident of Kyblík the House on Chicken Legs is Katka, the Witch of Wisteria Way, the Nephilim Changeling Granddaughter of the Baba Yaga!”
“Denis-” Khazmiel didn’t get to finish his sentence. The door to the house opened only long enough to let the clearly angry angel witch out.
“For the last fucking time you shitty lapdog, my name is Katka. I’m a girl. I’m an Angel and a Witch. I’m better at my job than any of your lot, that sit up top and don’t do their fucking jobs. Lucifer had to claim the souls of every single trans person because not a single guardian angel assigned was doing what they were supposed to do.” A fog started rolling into the clearing, the Moon becoming bigger in the sky, much bigger. Katka stood there, covered in shade, the only light was her piercing gaze and her bright halo. She spread her wings and pointed towards Khazmiel. The fog was filled with bright glowing eyes of many shapes and colors and sizes and amounts. And a loud chorus chanting ‘leave’ in as many languages as there are trees in the Fae Realm could be heard. “Khazmiel, Banished Bloodhound, I exile you from my home and my lands. If you dare come here ever again, you shall face the wrath of the Old Gods and the Old Dead.” A portal opened up below Khazmiel, fast enough for him to have no chance of flying out as he fell through and it closed behind him.
He landed on a dust covered surface, brighter than day, but as he turned to look up, all he could see were the stars in the sky. He turned around, seeing the pale blue dot known as Earth in the sky. In that moment, he knew he had messed up, and that it would take him at least two weeks to fly back.
Katka, meanwhile, reverted back from her Angel of Wrath mode, scratched her butt and yawned. “And I was busy playing Minecraft too… I got a massive urge to go and play Portal 2 now, though.” She shrugged, went back inside, and stretched. “I figure May will text me soon about finding Lily. Not really a long trip to Chertovice from here.”
Hmm...
Katka, an angel and witch. On the other hand we have Katie-the-Angel-Witch.
I swear something is going on here.
Why, are you accusing the author who has declared herself the "Angelic Changeling Granddaughter of the Baba Yaga" of putting a self insert of herself into her own story?
Also thank you!
she portal'd him to the moon?
*cue portal 2 ending song "want you gone"*
@ruifung I suggest you check the title of the chapter again
@Katie-the-Angel-Witch I was aware of that when I made the comment. =)
It simultaneously annoyed and amused me that the John Wick movie insisted on translating Baba Yaga as “the boogie man”. Like, did nobody involved do enough research to realize Baba Yaga was a woman? Then again, possibly creates some unintended trans vibes.
Also, I liked how the book version censored Katka’s deadname. It infuriates me that people try to learn that sh*t to be insulting. Like it’s some kind of true name blood magic crap. Trying to use it on somebody who’s a fairy witch and a guardian angel is cartoonishly stupid.
Happy birthday
Happy (belated) birthday!
So, the Witch of Wisteria Way is the granddaughter of The Boogie Man?
Wow...
Not the Boogy Man. The Baba Yaga is the classic slavic Hag. The Bog witch. You don't know if she'll help you or curse you. She is used as a boogey man that she'll steal you if you misbehave, but she's also a character in stories, an archetypal one at that.
Wait. Am I stupid or something? Chertovice?
Like Čertovice? The city/town? The one in Morava? Because holy shit, if that's it, I'm gonna be really surprised.
I'll be honest I didn't realise there was a genuine Čertovice down here, I just went with Čert because Devil, ya know, Deviltown or Devilmore or what have you.
@Katie-the-Angel-Witch Yeah, it's actually around Brno, or somewhere like that, if I remember my elementary school geography well.
I knew the title was a portal reference
Fun fact! The moon is actually a fairly dark grey and only looks so bright because of the contrast with the night sky, it’s more a Light slate color