10. Struggle, Child
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Stale and dry. His mouth was void of saliva, making it hard to breathe as his tongue and lips stuck together due to the odd, mucusy film coating his mouth. He wheezed, struggling to breathe as something pressed heavily down on his chest and throat. It felt as though someone was squeezing his windpipe. Even worse, he couldn’t move to fend them off. He couldn’t even see them if they were even there in the first place.

He was surrounded by darkness.

A thick, pitch black, never-ending, seamless veil of black. A sea of darkness. An ocean of nothing. His body felt incredibly heavy and the pressure of that nothingness was holding him in place. No matter how much he tried to move or struggle, the weight on him remained firm. Jake could only groan and blink, his eyes slowly drying out along with his mouth.

That was when he noticed something. Far off in the distance, hiding in the dark, Jake could make out a small shape. A figure of some kind stood way off at the edge of his sight. As if they knew exactly where his limit was. The boy’s throat opened and he croaked out a faint noise. A feeble attempt to call out to the other individual in hopes that they would assist him. Without any saliva to glaze his vocal cords nothing but a cracked wheeze exited his mouth.

Regret struck him as an unsettling chill washed over his body. The figure turned to look at him, and Jake’s body naturally began to shiver beneath that gaze. Fear. Unequivocal fear. He felt uncomfortable beneath their eyes and something screamed at Jake to run, to get as far away as possible from whoever, or whatever, that individual was. Due to the state he was in, however, flight was not an option. Jake simply lay there. Silent. Hoping that it wouldn’t notice him further.

He wanted it to go away.

I am disappointed.

The voice he heard was like a knife digging into his ears. Jake stopped shaking, he stopped breathing. He stopped thinking. As if the voice put a stop to his time- he could do nothing but stare at the figure. There was no denying it now. It was staring back at him and Jake could feel the malicious intent of its gaze. Were those to be the last words he’ll ever hear? Is this how he would die?

The feeling of terror receded as the figure at the edge of his vision melded with the shadows. It vanished from his view, leaving Jake alone. The pressure lifted off his chest. Just as he gasped for air, Jake felt the floor beneath him give way. He fell, plunging into the depths of the darkness beneath him.

The air whistled through his ears and his limbs dangled in front of him. The speed and pressure of his fall made it hard to catch his breath. As he fell, he stared upwards, his heart pounding in his chest as he stared into the nothingness. Once more, as he fell away from wherever he had laid, the black sea shifted and a massive object became apparent. A patch of dark that didn’t quite blend with the rest. Much like a massive mountain that blended in with the night sky on the horizon. It was massive and it looked down at him with a pitiful gaze. Jake fell long enough for even that massive beast of a figure to grow small. As it too faded away, his ears began to ring.

The dull, faint noise escalated to a high pitch whining. The noise sent pain through his skull as if the very bones in his head were creaking and grinding together. He clenched his teeth, squeezed his eyes shut, and wailed as his head felt as though it were going to be crushed. Just when he thought his eardrums might burst, it all came to an end.

As if it never happened, Jake’s eyes burst open and the ringing ceased. The black space was replaced with the view of the cavern and Jake once more felt the pressure of the mana in the air. Jake’s heart still raced and he felt sore all over. He looked around, fearful of moving. Chul was nowhere to be found, at first, but then he realized that he was laying on the carapace of the Arachkin. Chul must have picked him up after he fell.

“Chul…” Jake coughed out the name as he slowly returned to his senses. Collecting himself, the boy carefully pushed himself upright. His body ached but there were no actual injuries. He then decided to check his mana flow and in doing so realized where the issue was.

“Awake, are we?” Chul rumbled, his body shifting slightly as he moved to a better position.

“How long have I been out?” Jake slowly moved onto his hands and knees, crawling further up Chul’s carapace to a more comfortable place near the gap in his armor.

“Long enough for me to think you were dead. If it wasn’t for your heartbeat, I would have believed it.” Chul released a huff, his fangs chittering a few times. “How do you feel?”

“I feel off. My body is sore and there’s something wrong with my mana. It’s not out of control or leaking, but there’s something not right with it.” Jake tried to stretch his muscles as if he had just woken from a nap and everything felt tight. His head hurt the most, as did his stomach. Did he hit his head when he collapsed?

“What happened, Chul?” Jake put a hand to his head and winced. He definitely hit his head on the way down. There was a lump on the side of his face.

“You fell. That was all. The mana in the ground likely overpowered your own and your body couldn’t handle the sudden influx.” Chul steadied onto his eight legs and slowly stretched them. From the way he took his time getting up, Jake could assume they had been there a long time. “I am surprised. A Dragon’s Vein’s mana is potent and when interacted with without either a barrier or without some medium, most die instantly.”

“I certainly feel like I died. Everything hurts.” Jake groaned as he rubbed at his shoulders and squeezed on his thighs. The soreness was one thing, but as he tried to move his limbs he found that the pain ran deeper than just the standard discomfort.

Chul hummed and then stepped over to the edge of the mana pool.

“Perhaps it was your Blessing which saved you. Lady Ferynith’s Gift to you might be compatible with this mana.” Chul stared into the green liquid, and at the reflection of the child on his back. Jake stared down at himself as well. After a few moments, he tried reaching for his mana.

Just like before, it felt off. His mana was still there but something was mixed in with it. He couldn’t quite tell distinguish what it was exactly but if he had to guess… Was it the rana? Could it have seeped into him when his body made contact with the floor? If so, why hadn’t he felt it when they first entered the cave’s entrance tunnel? Or was it because the rana in the air was less potent and the direct contact near the source, especially with the mana pool right next to the rock, was much stronger?

Jake nipped down on his cheek, thinking of the possibilities of what had happened. It wasn’t so he could replicate the action but more so to understand the incident as a whole. If he was going to be cultivating down here, he needed to find a way to not knock out every time he took in some rana. He couldn’t quite cultivate on Chul’s back the entire time either. The Arachkin might have to fend off Maedra here and there should they get too curious.

Chul had mentioned that absorbing the rana and utilizing it usually meant death, but with Jake’s blessing, it might not be the case. He didn’t quite understand how or why just yet. He believed it had something to do with the mana source within him. Based on what Yir had explained to him, his mana source wasn’t natural. It was given to him by Lady Ferynith herself, so its makeup likely was different than usual. If that were the case, then something in it had made him resistant to the dangerous rana’s poisonous effects.

His body had likely gone into shock when the rana overpowered his body. However, it seemed capable of handling a small amount. If Jake introduced a little bit at a time and cultivated with it, could he adapt his mana flow to handle it? If rana was neutral to all the elements, then maybe this was what Yir was after when she sent him here.

She wanted him to not only cultivate with rana to empower himself. She wanted him to learn how to use it for his spells.

“Chul, I have a question.”

“You seem to have a lot of those.” Chul huffed and retreated from the mana pool. He stepped back into his protective position and lowered his body back down to the floor. Chul seemed oddly comfortable in the little corner he’d found. Maybe this was his nesting space or whatever when he lived in the Ravine?

No wonder he killed the Maedra in it so violently. They were messing with his room.

“The mana here in the cave- can it be used?” As he waited for a response, Jake began to poke and prod at the other substance he found in his mana flow. His body had likely filtered out the poisonous excess but the leftovers were probably what he could handle at the moment. Any more and it would be dangerous. The secondary substance also seemed to be… agitated. Whenever Jake attempted to interact with it, it snipped at his mana. Literally. It ate his mana and defended itself from the outside influence. As if it had a mind or personality of its own. Strange, to say the least.

“Theoretically, yes. The mana here is true life essence in its purest form. It is why the Maedra love it so much. However, to your kind who live on the surface- such a pure form of mana would require quite a bit of filtering before it could be used in any substantial capacity.” Chul had heard of Elves being able to utilize the Dragon Veins within their lands, but it wasn’t a safe and sure process. The death rate of those who found themselves involved with the Veins was rather high even for the so-called ‘Masters of Magic’.

“So, it can be used.” Jake sought the plainest answer. It was a yes or no question. If he could use it, then he would find a way to do so. If not, then this would be a waste of time.

“In simple terms, yes. It can. But-” Chul attempted to reason with the boy, but Jake knocked on his hard shell and grinned.

“Then I’m going to find a way.” Jake chuckled. He reached down into his mana flow, trying once more to prod at the second mana-type within himself, the rana. It was thick like quicksand and while his own mana was similarly dense, the rana was on another level. Additionally, the rana constantly defended itself again Jake’s mana, maintaining its space within his mana flow and fended off whatever got too close.

“...What?” Chul tilted backward, his eyes rolling to stare up at Jake. “Boy, do you have any idea how dangerous that is?”

“We’ve come this far, Chul. I won’t leave here empty-handed.” Jake adjusted his posture and moved further onto Chul’s back, moving to a flatter spot on his carapace to sit. Chul’s fangs clicked loudly, snapping together as the Arachkin shifted beneath Jake.

“The mana within this place is not for playing with, boy. You may not leave empty-handed, but you’ll certainly leave a corpse.” Chul let out a faint hiss as he warned the boy, but Jake was determined. Yir had sent him here for a reason. The rana trapped within him wasn’t poisoning him. If he could find a way to wrestle control over the rana, or if he could find a way to use it to improve his own, then he would take that as enough reason to continue to cultivate in such a place.

“If that happens, at least dump me off at my village,” Jake smirked before closing his eyes. He gripped onto his knees and plunged his focus into his mana flow. He let out a long exhale, his teeth clamped as he seethed. The air rushed out of his lungs as he emptied them. When he inhaled, he rallied his mana and gathered up more rana from the air around him, cycling it into his mana flow.

He controlled the intake, pushing his own mana out of his body as he invited the natural mana outside of his body in. Doing so sent cold shocks up and down his back. His skin tingled. His heart thumped erratically. The pressure on his chest increased and he found it even more difficult to breathe than before. However, he remained focused and stoic in the face of the trouble he was having. He maintained his careful cycle of breathing and kept a firm grasp on his own mana. Slowly, he cycled the rana through the flow. He pushed it along, coiled his own mana around it, and began to squeeze and manipulate it.

The rana continued to push back and fight him. It destroyed the mana Jake utilized to move it and as Jake drew in more, the rana began to collect and gather into a larger blob. Jake had tried to keep it flat and spaced out but the larger amount of rana was cumbersome and difficult to handle. He increased the amount of mana he was using to influence the rana, only for his own mana to be absorbed. Rather than destroy and break, the rana was sucking it up.

An interesting shift. Jake cut off the influx of rana, isolating what was already in his body, and focused entirely on trying to conquer the enemy within him. He forced the rana into his core, trapped it within his abdomen where there was more space, and he began to build up a large amount of his mana around it.

The idea was simple. The rana was able to both destroy and eat his mana. It did nothing if he didn’t tamper with it but it was quick to call out to other rana that Jake added to his system. By isolating the current blob, Jake would build up an immense amount of mana and force it into submission. Once he could surround and encapsulate the rana, he would attempt to inject his mana into it, blending the two. If he could blend the rana with his mana, he figured he would be able to manipulate the resulting mixture since it was originally half his.

That was the theory, at least. If he failed, Jake would likely just feed the rana with a huge amount of mana and it would be impossible to control at that point. Maybe dangerously so. All Jake needed was control. He didn’t need to convert the rana into his mana. He didn’t need to break it apart nor did he need to find out how to assimilate it into his current mana flow. Such things were beyond him, and likely impossible. Unless Jake could find a way to perform the process of converting rana to mana, then he wouldn’t be able to do such a feat.

“Conversion…” Jake’s eyes opened for a moment. He peered across the large pool of raw mana towards the far-off Dragon Vein. Rana was the unfiltered version of mana. It was Life Essence in its purest form. Mana was made from the conversion of Life Essence and something else… Rana filtered to the surface to be mixed with energy from the Sun. Then, it somehow became mana.

The equation was there. The variables were all right in front of him. Jake had just been told the details of the process separately, never together. However, the solution to his problem was right in front of him. The missing pieces weren’t missing, just out of place. Like a puzzle piece that needed to be rotated to fit.

Jake closed his eyes and took in a long breath. He utilized his gathered mana and forced his rana through his mana flow. The rana roared within him, tearing through the mana Jake was shoving it around with. The boy pushed the rana up into his chest. Doing so caused him to break out into a sweat, his body began to shake and he felt a chill coat his skin. His mana was depleting and the rana was dangerously close to vital organs. If it ran loose, he would be in trouble.

The rana forced its way along through the flow tubes, and Jake used his mana to corral it through, cutting off tubes and directing the rana to a specific destination. He gripped onto his knees and took in a long, deep breath again. On the exhale, Jake pushed once more, shoving the rana upwards towards his mana source- the factory which took in Life Essence and converted it to his natural mana.

Once it was close enough, the raging collection of rana sniffed out the mana source. It twisted, coiled, and raced towards it. The fresh mana, the pure life essence. Jake could feel it lurch forth. He braced for the result of his gamble as the rana slammed into his mana source. Jake wavered, his consciousness blinking for a moment as a fog glazed over his mind. His mana flow shook as the rana enveloped his mana source. It mixed with the Life Essence and was pulled inside.

The boy’s heart raced, his body filled with heat, and he felt immense pain rake through his nerves. He grit his teeth, fighting against the desire to scream as the rana tore into his mana source. He could feel his chest burning, melting as his mana source pulsed and throbbed. Eventually, the rana was swallowed up entirely by his mana source. Not a drop was left and Jake took what mana he had left to encircle the mana source. His mana source devoured more and more Life Essence, pulling in everything it could get its mouth on from the air around Jake’s body. Even bits of rana were sucked into his mana source.

The new rana droplets that entered Jake’s body only made his condition worse. With little mana to defend himself, the boy could feel his mana flow slowly become overrun by the outsider. He panicked for a moment, his mind racing for a solution to his newfound problem. His mana source ceased production of new mana but continued to pull in Life Essence and his reserves were running out as he struggled to maintain what he had. It was a losing battle, however, and he knew it.

Jake grit his teeth and his mind scrambled. He needed to strengthen the mana he had left, somehow. Someway. He needed to mitigate the loss and had to slow down the process. He needed time for his mana source to finish whatever the fuck it was doing. If he was right, it was struggling to filter the rana. It was performing the same process as usual but it was just taking longer due to the density of the new fuel. If he was right, then he needed time for it to finish. With how things were doing, he would lose the fight before his mana source finished working.

Tick tock.

The boy let out a gasp and his nails dug into his knees. His eyes opened, staring across the massive pool of liquid and towards the distant Dragon Vein. The sprites fluttering around it. The luminous green liquid. The faint misty haze of rana leaking into the air…

Dragon Vein… Time.

The Library.

The gears clicked in the boy’s head as he choked on another bit of air. The Library would give him time- precious seconds to think and find a better solution. The mana within it was stronger, too. If he cultivated there, he could enhance his mana and resist the rana better. How much better, however, he didn’t know. At this point, he would take anything.

“Chul! Library!” He choked out. Without waiting for a response, the boy shot a bit of mana into his head and activated the sigil Lady Ferynith had imprinted on his mind. For a brief moment, the squeezing on his chest lifted. He felt his body grow light and his mana flow shook again as he felt himself shift from the cave to the pale white walls.

He landed on his feet, standing on the elevated platform. When gravity took hold, however, he collapsed. The boy coughed and slammed onto the stone, crumbling as his muscles failed to listen to him properly. He grabbed onto the floor and clawed his way off the sigil, dragging his body down the steps and onto the floor. He didn’t have time to reach the room nor the strength, but it wasn’t necessary to be in that room to cultivate. He just needed to sit up.

“Fuck…” He grunted, his arms struggling as he felt the rana inside of him sap the strength from his muscles. He pushed himself over to the wall and carefully rolled onto his back. His feet had gone numb and his fingers were tingling. He maneuvered himself into a seated posture and left his legs outstretched. He couldn’t curl them in any more, but this would do well enough.

Taking in a breath, he felt himself choke again. He snarled and spit out a lump of mucus, clearing his throat so he could breathe. He shut his eyes, concentrated, and took stock of what was left. The mana in his extremities had all but been devoured. The mana in his torso and abdomen were still in place but the rana was pushing in. His mana source was still hot and pulsing, but the pulse was steadier now and at the peak of its cycle, the power Jake felt emanate was a far cry compared to what Jake had felt before.

As he exhaled, Jake steeled his mind and released the tension in his jaw. His hands opened and he turned his palms upwards, fingers stretching out as he released the tension in them as well. He eased into his mind, eased into his mana flow, and pulled on the strength of the mana in the air around him to build a wall between the rana and his mana source.

To his surprise, the rana had calmed slightly. It wasn’t so fierce now that he was in the Library and his mana was able to hold out against its onslaught. He breathed and reinforced the mana on the outer ridges of the areas he still had control over, barricading his vitals from the rana. With each breath, he pulled in more mana from outside of himself and mixed it with his mana. The natural mana within the Library had helped enhance his cultivation before. Now, it would help him survive. The Essence within the Library was stronger than that of the Overworld. A place created by the great Lady Ferynith, a place built to nurture the development and growth of magic.

For the mana here to lose out to something as meager as a base ingredient in mana creation- what a joke.

Jake smirked and took in a few, careful breaths. The rana continued to push on. He had slowed the progress but the inevitable was coming. His barricade crumbled and the boy was forced to withdraw, pulling his protections further inwards as he set up the last of his mana around the mana source. It pulsed and throbbed even more strongly, the pulsing becoming more elongated as it now absorbed the stronger essence from the Library.

The boy’s body went cold as his final protections began to crumble. The rana festered through his body. His legs and arms were numb. His body was coated in sweat and he could hardly breathe. His consciousness lurched and his focus wavered as he put up one last gasp to give his mana source the precious seconds he hoped it needed.

…Dammit.

The rana swallowed up the last of the mana surrounding his mana source. He felt the lights blink and the boy sighed as he felt his blood chill. His teeth began to chatter. His lungs and body felt the squeeze of it pressuring him.

This was the end then, wasn’t it? He couldn’t fight back anymore. He couldn’t resist the rana that was lingering inside of him and any mana left would just be eaten. The boy bit down on his cheek, trying to keep his teeth from rattling too loud as he struggled with the less than satisfactory conclusion to his time in the world of magic. Everything was a gamble. It always had been. He had fumbled through the world of magic ever since the beginning and had never quite understood much of anything. He had formed a basis of knowledge and had learned enough to support himself, but in the face of the true power of magic, struggling in such a way always seemed futile. Just as this endeavor had been.

He hated magic. He hated how difficult it had been. He hated how it had pulled him away from his Auntie. He hated how it made him feel like he had a chance to become an adventurer. He hated the hope it brought. If he was smarter, he would have just taken up swordsmanship. Or maybe, adventuring just was never in the cards for him. Maybe he should have just accepted that fact early on and lived his life in peace in the village… Maybe Elana was right. Maybe life as a quiet husband would have been better for him…

Sorry, Auntie… He felt his chest tighten as he thought of the face his Auntie might make when Chul returned his body.

Sorry, Elana… He felt the water streak down his cheek as he thought of how angry Elana would be at him, and how all he would be able to say was that she was right.

Sorry, Chul… He felt his lips tremble. The thought of being a liar, of leaving his friend behind and never being able to uphold any promises, stung even more.

Oh, how much of a fool he had been…

 

 

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He felt his lower back pinch. The boy winched. A valve cracked in his mana flow towards his lower back. A faint shot of heat fired into his system, jolting him to life as a burst of energy surged up towards his mana source. The boy’s focus returned as he felt an influx of mana. The rana that was attempting to break down his mana source turned its attention away to the sudden rush of new sustenance.

Jake’s mana tail. He had inadvertently closed it off when he was directing the initial bit of rana towards his mana source. With nothing holding it out, the seal he’d placed on it had broken and it was moving through his mana flow, following the natural route through his body. It slammed into the back of the rana, and the rana moved to eat it. While it wouldn’t be enough to turn the tide, Jake had an opportunity. He pulled at the mana, pushed it back down through the flow tubes, and drew the rana away from his mana source. With nothing coming out of the source, the rana wasn’t interested in it. It was interested in eating the last bit that Jake had left. He didn’t get far, but he got far enough. Jake pushed the mana down into his legs and as far as possible from his mana source.

Now, unchoked and able to absorb more essence from the Library, Jake’s mana source thumped. There was no mana left in the flow- it needed to produce the replacement. If not, the body would die. Its sole purpose was to fill that flow and it was failing. Reacting to this, the exit valve of the mana source burst open and Jake felt his body tremble. The rana in his legs turned, sniffing out the appearance of something new in the flow. Driven by its insatiable hunger, the rana pushed its way through Jake’s mana flow, following the tubes back towards the mana source.

Jake smiled faintly, his hands curling into fists as he coiled the new strength he felt around his mana source, once again protecting the haven for his mana. There wasn’t enough to fight back with yet. He needed to be patient.

The rana returned, hungry as ever, and swallowed up his mana source in its thick presence. However, it failed to devour the mana there. The mana remained stiff and firm, stoic as the rana attempted to absorb it. Jake took in a breath and felt heat wash over him as he began to push against the rana. Slowly. Carefully. The boy’s mana began to cut and dig through the raw, overpowering rana. He carved it apart, broke it down, and fed it to his mana source. The rana roared as the tides changed. It struggled and thrashed. It fought against his flow and spread through his body, seeking a way out. Without enough mana to chase it, Jake waited as his mana source worked overtime.

Due to his earlier efforts, the rana failed to find an escape. Jake had closed out the exits, letting in only what he had believed to be a manageable amount of rana into his system before closing it all away. It proved to be a correct choice.

His mana poured out into his system, power radiating from the new mixture. Jake felt heat return to his body and the tingling in his bones subsided as he stretched it through his flow tubes. As he retook control, Jake devoured the rana rampaging inside of him, returning the favor without mercy. Unlike the rana, Jake made sure not to miss a single drop. It died out inside of him, gasping and whimpering as the new mana made easy work of it.

The new mana was different, to say the least. It certainly felt more powerful, but it had a weight to it. There was a density he had never felt before. Yet, it was smooth and easy to control. The uncertainty of his original mana was gone, and the new mana he felt seemed far more servile in nature. As if it was even more natural to him.

With a final breath, Jake opened his eyes and found someone familiar standing before him.

“It seems you’ve done it.”

Yir. The academic head Librarian looked up at him from the floor just beyond his feet. Her arms were folded over her chest, a little smile tugging on the corners of her lips. Jake wanted to retort, to say something witty or courageous. However, he felt a wave of fatigue hit him. He lost the grip on his mana flow and he felt his consciousness waver again. With nothing to fear now, he didn’t fight it.

“...Yeah. I guess I did.” He smiled at her before he slumped over, exhausted.

Sorry, Death. Not yet.

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