Incredible Bastards – The Worst night of their life so far – Episode One Part One
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[Porkville Orphanage, Room 15]

 

“Guys I heard there is this creepy mansion near our house we should check out” Aria informs her friends.

 

Aria was a tall, asian girl, with black hair, and thick thighs. She was always curious and wanted to check out more of her strange town.

 

“Oh yeah that is a great way to end up on the back of a milk cartoon” John says, throwing his baseball up to catch it.

 

John was a black kid, with a backwards cap with the playboy magazine on it, he wore a green hoodie with a baseball on it, and was on crutches.

 

“I’ll go if you go Aria and we can leave this gayboy behind” Adrian says.

 

Adrian was a white kid, with a yellow jacket, fake angel wings and a prop gun.

 

“Oh please like Aria would wanna go with a wanna-be knockoff angel” John says, “Atleast, I try to be holy, you fuckin hallbound soul” Adrian responds.

 

“If I’m hellbound I’ll see you there” John remarks.

 

“Oh Johnny-boy” Evan says “Homosexuality isa sin so I’ll see you there.”

 

Evan was a boy who wore a skirt, he often wore a gag until he needed to speak.

 

“How many times do I have to tell you I am straight and homphobic?” John says, furious. “So is spaghetti till it gets wet” Evan says, “You stole that off the internet” John says.

 

“If the penis fits in the ass” Evan says, winking. “I’m pretty sure it’s if the shoe fits” John says, “I can add my own spin” Evan says, “if you can spin then spin out of my life” John says “Eh Eh.”

 

“That was fucking atrocious” Adrian responds, “not as atrocious as your mom” Bob shouts, “We are in a fucking orphanage nobody has a mom” Adrian says.

 

Bob has gray hair and his skin is green. He wore a white t-shirt and no pants.

 

“Yeah, but at least mine is alive” John says, “G-g-guys s-stop” Lashes asks.

 

Lashes has long blonde, curly hair, and was the sister of Bob even though she has a normal skin color, she has permanent tear marks from her constant crying.

 

“No way boys don’t stop this is fun whoever wins this banter gets to fuck me” Evan says, “I concede” John says, “But me and evan sleep in the same bed please just this once?” Adrian asks.

 

“Sounds like a problem you have to deal with,” John says. “Oh come one you get to sleep next to Aria” Adrian says.

 

“Yeah and you guys do it so many times I have a whole VHS tape collection” Blackhedge responds.

 

Blackhedges real name was Tyler, but that was the name of his abuser so he would get extremely pissed if you called him Tyler. Blackhedge has spiky black hair, sharp teeth, and a skull hoodie.

 

“Can you not record us?” Aria asks, “Can John not have such a big dick?” Evan asks. “Please don’t record me” lashes says, “please don’t record me” Blackhedge mocks.

 

“Anyway, as I was saying before we got off-track” Aria tries to return the conversation.

 

“Off-track like a formula one race car” Bob says, he lies on the ground and starts making car sounds.

 

“I don’t know what's scarier, the fact that he makes realistic car sounds, or the fact that he has the ability to think up this stuff” John says.

 

“Yeah whoever can think up of these jokes and stuff must be fucking sick in the head” Evan says.

 

“I disagree with John,” Adrian says.

 

“Can we please, get back to the topic” Aria begs “Can we go to the haunted mansion”, “Fine I'll go” John says, “I’ll also come” Evan says.

 

“Just don’t bother me” John says, “Ew John is coming, gross” Adrian responds “Fine i’ll come”, “Cum” Bob shouts.

 

“Dude that is fucking gross” Adrian responds, “Should I bring my gun?” John asks, “No I don’t see the need and besides we are going to a haunted mansion Guns won't kill a ghost” Aria says “only peace will”

 

“But, I don’t wanna go, it sounds scawy” Lashes says, quivering. “Look on the bright side, maybe we will find a skull,” Blackhedge shouts.

 

“Or your father” Bob says, “Can you two not be a prick” Aria says “Look if Lashes doesn’t want to come, she doesn't have to, we can leave without her”

 

“B-but I don’t want to be alone. It's scary and the other kids here are mean” Lashes says, rubbing her arm.

 

Aria turns around, and smiles “Then I suggest you come.”

 

Everybody goes and Aria stays behind, “You manipulative bastard,” Blackhedge says, “I’ll never forgive you for using Lashes” Bob shouts.

 

[System: Aria’s Friendship with Bob went down]

 

[Haunted Mansion]

 

“Here we are” Aria says, “AHH” Lashes shouts running off.

 

Aria, Evan, and Blackhedge run off “Oh um Bob watch Adrian and John make sure they don’t kill each other” Aria says.

 

Adrian and John look at each other, “I’m going inside to take pictures” Adrian says. “Me too” John says, “No you aren’t” Adrian pushes John, and takes his crutches.

 

“Ok you are joking right?” John asks, Adrian leaves him there.

 

“Bob please help me get up” John begs, “Oh boy, john off his crutches that’s hilarious I have to tell the others” Bob runs off.

 

“Well, nothing too bad can happen,” John says, lying down. All of a sudden a man with a crowbar in one hand, and an axe in the other approaches.

 

“Adrian i know it’s you trying to scare me” John says, The guy drags him, John attempt to grab his box of matches in his back pocket only to realize Adrian took them, he then goes for his gun only to remember Aria told him not to bring it.

 

The guy picks up John and throws him in a van. “Adrian where did you get this van from, and where are you taking me” John shouts, “It’s not Adrian” The man says.

 

“Ok dude that is a voice changer” John says.

 

[meanwhile]

Blackhedge grabs Lashes, “AH Sexual assault” Lashes shouts kicking Blackhedge “Sexual Assault, police police”

 

Blackhedge grabs his balls and falls over, “Blackhedge h-h-how did you get hurt? '' Lashes asks, “probably when you kicked me '' Blackhedge responds.

 

[Blackhedge Friendship with lashes went down]

 

“Guys check out this hilarious thing John wasn’t on his crutches, because Adrian took them and left him to die” Bob shouts, “Wait What?” Aria shouts, “I said-” Bob gets cut off.

 

“We gotta go rescue my man” Evan shouts “Who is with me”, “I’m with you” Aria says, “So am I” Blackhedge responds. “I love the word with so I’m coming to” Bob shouts. Lashes back up, “Oh don’t tell me you're gonna pussy out?” Blackhedge Shouts.

 

“N-no b-but it’s s-scary” Lashes says, “You are partially responsible for this Lashes” Aria reminds her, “F-fine but if too scary I’ll leave” Lashes says.

 

[Haunted Mansion]

 

“Oh my sweeties it appears as if John isn’t here” Bob says, “This is all your fault Lashes” Aria shouts, “I’m sorry” Lashes says, disappointed.

 

[Aria’s friendship with Lashes and Bob went down]

 

“Wait this isn’t just Lashes fault” Evan says “You are also responsible”, “how am I responsible?” Aria says. “Simple if you didn’t put all responsibility onto Bob, John might still be here, you know Bob is mentally retarded” Evan explains

 

“There comes a time when Bob will have to be responsible and help out the group” Aria says, “guys can we be friends?” Lashes tries to derail the conversation.

 

“Look, to take one for the team let's blame it all on Adrian” Aria says.

 

Evan calls Adrian “Damn no signal” Evan shouts, “Put it in Airplane Mod” Bob says.

 

“Wait there might be a phone in the mansion” Aria proposes the idea, “Sweet we get to go inside” Blackhedge says, Lashes starts to wiggle as she attempts to escape, but Blackhedge grabs her hand.

 

[Inside]

 

“We should split up” Bob says, “let’s not” Aria says. “No Split-up” Bob shouts, running off.

 

“You know what, let's leave Bob behind” Aria says, “No way he is our friend we will never betray him” Blackhedge responds.

 

“He is your friend not mine” Aria says, leaving. “Lashes you will stay with me right” Blackhedge asks. “I like Aria more s-sorry” Lashes says. 

 

“I’m going where the girls are bye boo” Evan waves bye, “Assholes” Blackhedge says, running.

 

[Fifteen minutes later]

“Ugh where can I get cell reception” Aria says, annoyed, “I-I dont like this place” Lashes says.

 

“That’s it” Aria says, snapping her fingers. “What?” Evan asks, “ADRIAN” Aria shouts, “Aria is that you” A voice responds.

 

Lashes starts to shake “Wha-what if that’s not Adrian”, Aria ignores Lashes, it’s then followed by a loud scream.

 

Lashes turns to run, and Evan chases after Aria.

 

A man in a mask is grabbing Aria.


Evan runs up, and punches him. “My nail” Evan says, the man gets back up, uninjured.

 

“Is it Adrian?” Evan asks, “Too tall to be Adrian” Aria says. “Hey bitch do you know where John is” Evan shouts, “John huh? You mean this guy” the guy throws a playboy magazine hat.

 

“Oh my god” Aria says “Where is he”, “Unharmed” The guy says “However, I’m keeping him hostage”, “Do you have any reason to?” Aria asks.

 

“Lets just say, he and you guys know something, come with me and no one will get hurt” the man says, Evan runs up to punch him only for the guy to spin kick him across his face.

 

“Evan you’re bleeding” Aria says, worried. “That’s fine Red is a good color for me anyway” Evan responds, Evan runs up, only for the killer to grab his leg and throw him down. Evan lies there, unconscious.

 

The man grabs Aria and puts her in a headlock. “Let me go” Aria says, Adrian runs up and hits the guy with John’s crutches. The man tries to get back up, but Adrian kicks him again.

 

“I bet you didn’t know you were fighting with a real angel huh?” Adrian asks, “Hey narcissist, leave him alone” Aria says. Adrian grabs matches and sets the wood on fire. Adrian leaves, and Aria grabs Evan.

 

“Oh just leave Evan here like how you left John” Aria says, sarcastically. “Shut up and follow me,” Adrian demands. The gang hides.

 

“Thank god you are safe Aria, where are the others?” Adrian asks, “I can ask you the same thing with John, apparently he is not in front of the forest” Aria says.

 

“What I took his crutches there is no way he ran off” Adrian says, “Apparently he got Kidnapped by a psycho” Aria says, “Oh sweet is he dead” Adrian says, excited.

 

“That psycho said he is fine” Aria explains, “ugh” Adrian says “Worst Night of my Life”

 

[The forest]

 

Lashes is running and Running and Running when she meets a guy with burn marks. “P-p-please he-help me” lashes says, The guy picks Lashes up and throws her into the van.

 

Lashes screams as loud as she can. 

 

[mansion]

Aria is arguing with Adrian “You know what this is why I’m dating John not you” Aria says, “maybe, if you picked me I would have left him to die” Adrian says.

 

[Aria’s Friendship with Adrian went down, if you couldn’t already guess]

 

“Is this what this is about?” Aria says. The two of them hear a shout, loud enough to wake up Evan.

 

The three of them simultaneously say “That’s Lashes shout.”

 

Blackhedge and Bob also hear it.

 

Everyone runs outside. “Do you see that van?” Adrian says, “No I don’t” Aria says sarcastically. 

 

“This a job for Bob” Bob says he grabs his rope and ties it around the vans tire “tallyho” Bob shouts, quickly vanishing.

 

“I’m going back to the orphanage” Adrian shouts, Aria grabs him and stares him dead in the eye “You got us into this you will get us out” Aria says.

 

“Fine” Adrian says “Let's go back to the orphanage though”

 

[orphanage]

 

“I’m taking the gun” Adrian shouts “I love weapons”, “You also love pretending to be an angel, and you suck at that” Aria says.

 

“Oh my god” Evan says “Finally some cell reception around this damn place”, “that’s it call John, we can track the number afterwards” Aria says.

 

“Why are you so obsessed with John?” Adrian says, “because he is my friend” Aria says. “Well he isn’t mine” Adrian says, Aria has a flashback moment

 

((“You know what, let's leave Bob behind” Aria says, “No way he is our friend we will never betray him” Blackhedge responds.

 

“He is your friend not mine” Aria says, leaving.))

 

Aria walks off, “Where are you going?” Adrian asks, “To apologize to Blackhedge” Aria says.

 

[Meanwhile]

 

“Let me fucking go i’m tired of being in this chair, and I want my hat back” John demands, the guy smiles with his knife “I don’t have your hat, I don’t even know what it looks like” the guy says.

 

John looks around “Why did you kidnap me?” he asks, “A man is trying to kill you, that man is me” the guy responds.

 

“Really the guy with the knife is trying to kill me” John says, sarcastically “I would have never guessed.”

 

A phone starts ringing, the psycho picks up the phone.

 

“HEY BITCH” Evan shouts “I want my boyfriend back”, “Evan, Evan, Evan” the psycho responds.

 

“How do you know his name” Blackhedge gasps, “Lets just say I know everything” The psycho responds.

 

“I have literally seen John’s phone with your contact name as Evan” Aria says, “Oh” Evan says.

 

“Aria huh? I know that’s you, you’re the smart one, well then let's see how smart you are?” he hangs up, “let’s track his number” Aria says, “oh boy the computer room” Evan says.

 

They all attempt to go down to the room, when a boy stops them.

 

“Evan you are banned from the computer room” the boy says, “Snicker go we need to get our friend” Evan says.

 

 “I also noticed you guys came back two minutes after curfew, and i will tell the orphanage headmaster” Snicker says, “Dude now is not the time” Aria says “John got kidnapped”, “That’s what you get for breaking the rules” Snicker responds.

 

Evan pushes Snicker, Snicker gets back up “I’ll tell our owner that you were watching inappropriate videos” Snicker threatens.

 

Aria types the number into the computer, ignoring Snicker. “Alright here it is,” Aria says.

 

“Wyoming, that's a four hour flight” Aria says, “There is no way we're getting there in time,” Evan says, worried. “Not if we hijack a plane” Blackhedge shouts, “That is the dumbest idea i have ever heard come out fucking mouth” Aria scolds Blackhedge.

 

“What it’s cool” Blackhedge says “It’ll be 9-11 the sequel”, “America deserved it” Bob shouts, “Oh my god, let's just get to wyoming” Aria commands.

 

[meanwhile]

“Listen here bitch, I won’t let you kill me” John shouts, “I don’t agree with murder” The killer says. “That’s a relief” John mumbles, “However, I will tear your brain out and eat it” The guy grabs a drill and a saw.

 

“Oh yeah because there is totally a difference” John says, “I need to go tinkle” The Killer says, “Psst” A voice says.

 

John looks up and sees another masked man “didn’t you need to go?” John asks, The man is in the ceiling and jumps down with his machete.

 

The man chops off the rope that tied John to the chair and picks him up. John tries to wriggle and squirms.

 

[outside]

 

“Why am I just a basketball put me down” John demands, “I am going to explain something to you” The killer says.

 

“That man is my brother, me and him have pissed off our god, and in order to be forgiven we need to sacrifice someone using a certain spell” The guy then stops and continues “We need a crippled teenager, kill him on a pentagram with a chainsaw.”

 

“Why don’t you kill me right now?” John asks, “My god has given me a different task than my brothers to prevent them from killing you guys” The masked man, then gives John a pair of crutches.

 

“Get in my van” the guy says, “Oh boy what's with tonight and vans without license plates” John says, under his breath.

 

“Wait, I have a question,” John asks, “What?” The guy responds. “How the hell did you get from Florida to wyoming?” John drops the bombshell on him.

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