Nathan collapsed onto his bed in exhaustion after unpacking the last of his belongings.

“I fucking hate moving.” He said aloud.

Astian laughed from outside the doorway. “Well at least you’re all set here. Unless I’m so bad you want to move out.”

“Man, I’ve got no god damned money right now. You know I can’t do that.” Nathan replied, a bit annoyed.

“Right, right, I’m sorry.” Astian said. “I know you’ve had a pretty rough time these past few weeks.”

“Yeah, I could barely afford my old apartment. My job was shit and my boss was an asshole. It was horrible.” Nathan responded. “And then they fire me for ‘poor job performance’. They didn’t even tell me about this performance they thought was unsatisfactory. That was the first time they brought it up. What a fucking joke.”

“Well at least that’s all over now.”

“I sure hope so.” Nathan said as he rubbed his face. “I’m real sorry for being a burden. I’ll try to get a job first thing tomorrow. I’ll even let you kick my ass if I don’t.”

“Now, now, let’s not get ahead of ourselves.” Astian said. “It’s really no problem for you to live here. I’m fine with it. And honestly? If you ask me, I’d try going back to college before getting a job.”

“How the hell do you expect me to pay for that?” Nathan asked. “My parents cut me off. I’m basically broke. Who’s gonna pay for it? You? You don’t have that kind of money.”

“I can get the money.”

“How? By winning the lottery?”

“Listen, Nathan.” Astian said firmly. “I know how to get the money. I can pay for your college.”

“I mean… even if you could I don’t think I’d want you putting so much into helping me. Don’t you think people ought to live with their fuck ups?”

“That’s a bunch of BS. We’re friends. We help each other. I hate seeing you like this.”

Nathan huffed. “You don’t have to make me feel good. You can be honest.”

“I am being honest. I think you have potential. You just need a little push. I know you said you thought you wasted your college years, and I think this is the time for you to start anew. A fresh start to your new life.”

“You really think I should go back to college?” Nathan asked. “It’s the middle of June. You can’t register right now. I’d have to wait until next year to start.”

“Listen to me, I can get you registered now pretty quickly. It might take some work, but we can do it. You can take classes this fall. After we get you registered then you can get a summer job, if you want.”

“You don’t know how college registrations work.”

“You don’t know how I work.”

Nathan let out a breath and stared at the ceiling for a bit, contemplating his options.

“Okay, fine.” He said eventually. “I’ll think about going back to college.”

“Great, I’m glad. This is a good step for you.”

“It’s just…” Nathan paused. “I just don’t have the motivation sometimes. I look at what I’ve done these past few years and it’s been a bunch of failures. I feel like I’ve already wasted my own life.”

Astian stared deeply into Nathan for a few long seconds.

“I’ll help you get your life back in order, I promise.”

***

After a pretty average dinner, Nathan poured himself a glass of vodka and downed it quickly. He was about to pour himself another glass when Astian took the bottle from him.

“Alright, from now on, we’re limiting you to one drink per day.” Astian said to him.

Nathan gave out a dry laugh. “What are you? My mother?”

“Nathan, if you want to get your life back together, the first thing you need to do is fix your alcohol addiction.”

“I don’t just drink for the hell of it, I drink because I’m stressed.”

“Then find a better coping method. Exercise, read, watch a TV show or really do anything other than excessive drinking.”

“Fine.”

Astian checked the kitchen clock. “Okay, I’m gonna head to bed now. I know you might come out here at night and drink again, but I really implore you to take the steps to end this habit. It’ll be good for you.”

“Okay.”

Astian nodded then left the kitchen to go to his bedroom, closing and locking his door.

Nathan opened the refrigerator and was greeted with that same bottle of vodka. He really wanted to have another drink, but his mind forced him to stop himself.

“Just one more drink”, his mind said. That made sense, except for the fact that “one more drink” would soon turn into two more drinks, and then three more drinks. It was a never ending spiral that shouldn’t be given any fire.

So Nathan slowly closed the refrigerator door and walked to his room. He shut the door and turned on the light, taking in the place.

There wasn’t much to see. It was very bland, not personalized in the slightest. To be fair, his bedroom at his old apartment was bland too. Nathan was never someone who was interested in decoration.

Nathan took a few steps and gazed out the window. There was no moon and everything outside was pitch black. In spite of this, he still found it all comforting to look at. It was a feeling that he didn’t want to bother trying to understand.

Astian was a great friend. Nathan really couldn’t thank him enough. Supporting him through all the bad decisions he made in life and still being there to help him. There was nothing he could do to pay him back, something he felt obligated to do. It’d be useless to try, anyway.

Nathan worried if he and Astian could really be trusted in the same apartment, but he assured himself that they’ve been best friends for years, and there shouldn’t be any problems with them living together.

Nathan turned off the light in his room and hopped into bed, ready to sleep after a long day of unpacking. As he fell asleep, he had a good feeling that tomorrow might finally be the day his life makes a change for the better.

***

Nathan stared into the mirror, confused and horrified.

There was something very wrong going on, he was sure of it. His reflection was not what it was supposed to be. He needed to call for help or get away from whatever was causing this, fast.

“You’re just imagining things.” Something in his head told him. “Nothing is wrong, you’ve always been like this.”

Had he? It was hard to tell with how conflicted and confused his mind was right now. It felt as if foreign thoughts he would never usually have kept forcing their way inside, and he was powerless to stop it.

“Everything is fine.” He was told once more. “Nothing is happening to you.”

Nathan took a relaxed breath as he immediately calmed down. Yeah, that sounded right, he thought. He was getting all worked up over nothing. What was he even upset about in the first place? He couldn’t remember.

No, no, NO! Something was definitely wrong! Was he blind to what was going on right before his eyes? He needed to do something, right now!

Every time he realized that something was wrong, his mind kept pulling him back. Always telling him that he was mistaken, and that there was nothing to be afraid of. Always making him forget what it was he finally realized. It needed to stop. This couldn’t keep happening.

Nathan stood in the darkness, unable to make sense of any of the confusion plaguing his mind. Suddenly, he heard the sound of a door opening. He turned his head toward the noise and saw a dark figure making slow, ominous footsteps toward him…

***

Natalie awoke disorientated and unnerved. She quickly sprang up in her bed and clutched her chest, breathing heavily and feeling her heart pounding incessantly.

What the hell had she just dreamed?

Her mind was working in overdrive, trying to make sense of what had just happened. In this dream of hers she just had, she was a man…

Nathan Parker…

She… he was living with Astian, his best friend, not boyfriend, in this same apartment. He was having trouble getting his life in order, and had a drinking problem. Astian said he was going to help him.

It was bizarre, far too bizarre to be believable. The dream was very clear in her mind, as if it were something that actually happened, that she actually experienced.

Wait…

Natalie noticed that something had shifted in her memories.

She… she HAD experienced that! She remembered it very clearly!

She couldn’t recall any other event as a part of that life, but she could recall that specific memory, the day she moved into Astian’s apartment because she couldn’t afford her own. Nothing before, nothing after.

It wasn’t even just the memory itself she remembered, but the sensation and feeling of being a man. She could almost recall what it was like to be in a man’s body, and to have a… penis.

She recoiled at her own train of thought there. She didn’t want to know what male genitals felt like. Hell, she didn’t want to know anything about her supposed past male life, because it only reminded her that her current life was fake, a mirage put in place by someone she thought was her friend and lover.

Natalie got out of bed silently, without a groan or a whimper. It was Monday, and Monday meant work. She didn’t care, in fact she almost welcomed it. Maybe it could ease her mind off the fact that her life was not real. She almost laughed at that. As if.