//Author Note: I would strongly urge you to read Rotten Æther | Scribble Hub alongside this story. Shared world and setting, with crossovers coming!//

 

I am a monster, a being born from the corpse of the person I once was, a murderous being whose first act of unliving, was the vicious murder of my own servants. I sit among slaves, victims of my own family’s sins, and I… I…

“Christina?” Piper asks for me, calling for me. The sound of my name is alien as if it belongs to a person who does not exist. There is good reason. The name is that of a dead person.

“I am going to kill my uncle,” I say. Sitting down with my back to the door. “I will hunt him as the wolven hunt the fleetfooted deer, and the frostkin foxes hunt the tall-eared hare. I will lose all human dignity and become a monster that belongs to the night, betraying everyone and everything.”

Piper shrugs, her expression cold as she takes in the sight of me. I’ve leaned upon her, relied on her for blood when I was desperate, and I only come here to seek comfort and acceptance that others cannot offer me.

I am desperate, and so are they, but as much as I would like things to be different, we are not friends. We cannot be friends while I am their master.

“I don’t mind it if you’re a monster,” Piper says, casually flopping on the ground beside me. “So long as you’re going to free us, then you’d be a beautiful monster. So will you? Will you free us?”

“I… yes,” I make the promise understanding the weight behind it. Knowing that I may not have the noble strength needed to be true to my own words.

I say it because I need this.

I need to do something good and not something violent, I need to save lives and not simply take them. I want to be more than a monster, even if the monster is the part of me that succeeds where the noble fails.

“Good,” Piper says, taking my cold hand in hers and squeezing it tight. I try to pull away from her, but she doesn’t let go, the opposite, she pulls me closer. I can smell her breath and the faint taste of blood that lingers from a cut in her cheek.

“Why do you treat us as people?” Piper asks, planting herself on my lap as I try to escape. She doesn’t let me. She holds my shoulders still and stares into my eyes. “Is it because you see yourself as a monster, thus you came to speak with the other monsters? I don’t think that’s it, is it?”

“I was alone,” I say, unable to squeeze away from her. “I was alone, and I saw an injustice that I had to stop. Then… then you seemed nice. You seemed… at least better than my uncle’s family and servants.”

“So, you came here for comfort?” she asks, pressing her face closer still until her eyes are all that I can see. The others here have backed away, watching us from a distance. Some of the adults bear grave expressions but this is no surprise to them.

“I… I just…”

“You don’t know your own feelings?” Piper asks, laughing quietly to herself and showing her animalistic fangs. Qualities of an animal, a feature that proves that she is of a lesser species. Her fangs aren’t as sharp as my own.

“You want to be good, you want to live up to the ideals that your parents instilled in you,” she says, pausing as I let my surprise show. “You talk, when you come here, desperate for someone to listen.

“You want to be good and kind, but the world is not good, and it is not kind. There is no honourable way of changing the world, you need to be evil, and that’s why you come here. You want someone to tell you that it’s okay to be evil. You want someone to accept the evil you.”

“I’m a-”

“Monster?” She laughs, so close to me that I can feel the vibrations running from her body into mine. “You say that to excuse yourself. To excuse yourself for not mourning your family, for the murders that you must commit with your new curse, and to excuse yourself for the evil that you are still going to do.

“That is who you are, Christina Greystone. You are too kind and weak to forgive yourself for the evil you do, so you come here seeking permission.” Piper says pressing her forehead to mine.

The ice inside me warms, my hands tremble as a burning pain threatens to leak out through my misting eyes… I can’t. I have to be the monster.

“Christina,” Piper calls my name, her face somehow beautiful for all the dirt that stains her. The sharp angles, harsh and unforgiving. “You will save us, won’t you?”

I nod, even if she were unkind to me, this much would be my responsibility as their master. I only ever thought to permit their slavery as an attempt to help them develop into people.

It is not needed, it never was.

Thus, it is my duty to free them from these unjust chains. Not as some hero, like from a storybook, but as the inheritor of my father’s sins.

Warm lips press against my own, sweet with the taste of blood. A tongue presses my lips apart, and the blood rushes over my tongue, paralysing me as well as any poison.

Piper kissed me.

She pulls back, licking her lip where she bit it open.

“Christina, pay attention.” She says, her voice not loving, but cold and demanding. “You can be a monster, I don’t mind. If that’s what you must be to free us, then do whatever you must.”

“You…” she presses her finger against my lips.

“I will be what you need me to be,” she says. “So long as you can be what we need you to be.”

“You don’t need to do this…” I say, “I don’t want fake affections.”

“You don’t?” She asks, chuckling. “Look at you, barely holding yourself together.”

“I’m fine.”

“You’re good at pretending, even to yourself,” Piper says, standing and taking a step back to wipe her lips. “You cling to your values, to what you were taught was right and wrong. You do so because you’re lost and trying so hard not to be.

“I will hold you together because you are the only person who can save us,” she says. “Now, what can you do to save us?”

“I’ll kill my uncle,” I say, steadying my mind for the hunt ahead. Part of my lessons was always focused on resolving problems, even if my powers and solutions are a little different now compared to what my tutors were preparing me for.

“Then what?” Piper asks, “What does that change?”

“I will take control of my family estate,” I say. “With uncle gone. I can do it. Then we can seek out a way to free you from the magics in your collars. The magics that bind you here.”

“Good,” Piper says, still looking away from me. After a pause she turns back toward me, her face gentle and kind but stiff. She places a hand on my head, and I let her.

“Do you want some blood?”

I nod, unable to find the words, struggling to harden the ice inside of me. The sweet taste of her blood, freely offered, is enough to distract me from all my troubles, if only for a little while.

 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

 

The sun is still on the horizon as I step outside. Belle is here waiting for me and Therina is with her, she rushes to my side, protecting me from the sunlight burning red over the distant royal castle.

It almost looks as if the city is set afire.

“Sorry,” Belle says, stepping up to me and bowing her head slightly. “I didn’t do enough to defend your honour.”

I shake my head and stand a little taller, the plans I have for the near future are enough to settle the more errant emotions and thoughts that had taken hold of me.

“It is not your fault, and it is not your responsibility.”

“Even though I’ll soon be your wife?” She asks, almost forming a smile before suppressing it.

I touch my lips, where Piper kissed me a little while ago. What if it was Belle who kissed me instead?

I swallow even though my mouth is dry.

Was I always this much of a degenerate? She’s already made it clear that she has no interest in such things and Piper… I don’t know what to think, or what I should feel. Instead, to distract myself, I direct yet more æther into my chest, chilling it until the strange warmth fades away.

“You said that you wanted to be with me for the next hunt,” I say, meeting Belle’s eyes as she takes a step back.

“No, you’re not thinking…”

I nod.

“My uncle and his family have caused enough suffering,” I say. “With this, people will think this house cursed. They should leave me well enough alone, at least for long enough to do what I must.”

“Tina, that’s… I can’t… your aunt doesn’t deserve that, neither does your nephew and what about the servants…”

“They’ve participated in this cruelty…” I whisper, shuddering at the fearful gaze she levels at me.

I relent, the suspicion and betrayal on her face enough to twist up my frozen guts.

“I only need to deal with the man himself… but I do still hold a grudge against the others. The rest may be saved once free from my uncle’s wayward influence, but I will not be the one saving them.”

Belle nods, but her face remains pale. How will she see me when I take action? Will I be a villain in her eyes?

Would it be so bad?

Tempting scenes play out before me.

I press Belle down onto the dining room table, covered in the blood of my uncle’s family. I taste her blood as she screams in terror, trying to fight me but too weak to push me away.

I kill the thoughts before the more terrible temptations can fully form.

Is this a part of me? Is this the monster that I am now? Or is my head just a little twisted this evening?

“Just your uncle,” Belle says.

“Yes,” I say, my voice weaker than it should be. “Then, perhaps you can choose a target after… I still need blood and more strength.”

She nods and smiles at the thought, all the darkness that fell over her expression disappearing in a short breath. She mumbles to herself, names and crimes, people deserving and not.

I just know that she’s going to find me a deserving target. She will have me deliver justice in my hunt for a meal. I won’t be a monster just for the sake of fulfilling my own desires.

I won’t be like the others.

The warm sunlight kisses Belle’s face as she gazes into the future that we might share, her excited smile warmer for the orange glow that paints her. I hook my arm through her elbow, and she jumps at my sudden touch, though she does not reject me.

The magic that keeps me cool weakens as I worry that I may be making her uncomfortable. My arm is already warming in her grasp, as she pulls me away to explore the gardens. I should be the one leading her, but I can’t find the moment to take the lead.

“When are we doing this?” Belle asks. “The hunt?”

“This evening,” I say, turning to look upon the distant royal castle as the faint red glow of the sun fades away leaving only a dark silhouette. A shade of what ought to be.

Belle’s eyes stare in the same direction, and though the sun is now gone, the light still shines in her eyes.

The reflection burns me the same as the sunlight itself.

I squeeze closer, embracing the stinging pain.

 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

 

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